This was inspired by the challenge to write about a teacher giving a student the talk. Thanks so much to illshipyourship aka Kayla for giving me this challenge because I was having a mind block on my other fanfics anyway. :)

"Students of the seventh year!" Professor McGonagall called out, at once silencing all the pupils remaining in the hall. Every shut up pretty quickly wondering what they had been called into the hall to talk about at this hour as well. Had someone pulled a particularly bad prank, like the last one that had needed everyone to take Veritaserum to find out who had done it.

"It has been brought to my attention that at Hogwarts although we teach the Magical side of life you are never taught the practical side of life. Or in fact, in this case what I would like to talk to you about, is the erm, physical side of life. Now all of you will be given an hour meeting with a "mentor" who will tell you anything you need to know. They have been specifically chosen as to those who have the best knowledge of what you are likely to want to know."

All of them started muttering amongst themselves and the Golden Trio at once began to dread who they were going to get given. Then McGonagall spoke again and everyone shut up almost at once and listened in intently.

"I shall be sending you all a slip of paper right now so you know when your meeting will be and which teacher it shall be with. You shall have a session at the same time as one other student. Please only read your own," she instructed as slips of paper came whizzing out of her hand and flew through the air to each of the students who began groaning.

"I got McGonagall," groaned Hermione. "My meeting is at the same time as Parvati which isn't too bad though."

"I got Flitwick," moaned Ron looking agitated. "I have my meeting at the same time as Ernie McMillan so I guess it could be worst. At least I won't be the one there who knows the least about it."

"What about you Harry?" Hermione asked turning to their remaining friend.

"Snape with Malfoy."

The whole table offered their commiserations to him pretty much as they all agreed that was a heavy amount of bad luck. The next night Hermione went off to her meeting came back bright red in the face and refused to say much more than, "I will never be able to face her in Transfiguration ever again!"

A couple of nights later and Ron went off with Ernie McMillan as they decided to go down together. He came back laughing his socks off and everyone listened intently to the questions that Ernie had supposedly asked. "He even asked Flitwick what he should do when he woke up with morning wood!" Ron spluttered and the whole room burst into loud guffaws.

Harry laughed along with the rest of them but at the same time he was dreading his meeting the next day. It was bad enough that he was with Malfoy but having to get the lesson from Snape was just mortifying. Also he wouldn't be able to ask anything useful as he batted for the other team and couldn't bare to ask Snape questions about that as he wouldn't know and Draco would positively spontaneously implode when he found out and spread it all around school.

So he walked down to the dungeons with a heavy heart and when he ran into Draco was only slightly relieved to see he looked as nervous as Harry. They knocked and Snape called for them to enter as Harry blushed a deep red. "Harry and Draco please sit down. Now I imagine at least one of you is wondering why you have been given me as your mentor? I have been given to you as according to McGonagall you two are the only gay students in the year and I as the only gay male professor have to field your questions."

"You're gay?" stuttered Harry. "And you?" he directed at Draco.

"Yes, Potter, I suppose we can all assume from what Professor just said that the three of us are blissfully gay. Now can we just get on with this because this is awkward enough without dragging it out any longer."

"Indeed Draco," Snape said. "Well who would like to ask a question first?"

Neither seemed willing to ask anything though they both shot sneeky looks at each other from under their over-grown hair. Then Snape got up and picked up a vial of potion which he handed to each of them saying, "If you drink this then you will be unable to tell anyone of what we discussed tonight. Therefore any secrets you may have are safe within the walls of this room."

Both boys grudgingly drank the liquid down and were surprised that despite the disgusting colour of the potion it tasted like chocolate. Then Snape sat back down on his desk and asked, "So again I shall ask, who has the first question?"

"Does it hurt the first time?" asked Draco blushing a shade of red that would have made any Gryffindor jealous. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat whilst Harry felt relieved that he had asked because that was something he had wanted to know too.

"It hurts at first yes but with the proper start – such as using various erm liquids and methods of stretching – then you should be alright. But I'll be honest when you start, erm, going then you soon forget everything particularly if they reach your spot. Just don't be afraid and you can always top anyway."

"What are the different, erm, bases for guys to do to guys?" asked Harry dying slightly inside as he asked. He knew that Snape would never say anything about this outside the classroom but would give him little smirks that let him know he would never forget.

"First base is all the kissing malarkey, second base is tossing someone off which is like wanking someone else, third base is a blow job which is sucking the other person's, erm, manhood and fourth base is clearly the full monty."

Snape had gone just as red as either of the two boys were by this point but they had both started to get over some of their embarrassment and had now got a million questions. At the end they were all questioned out but Snape promised as they walked out of his office if they ever wanted to speak to him again then he would listen and answer. Harry found himself believing his teacher for once and knew that he would actually consider coming back if he had a burning question.

"So the Golden Gay of Gryffindor then Potter," Draco said but not maliciously.

"So the Slytherin Snake Sucker of Slytherin then Malfoy," Harry replied in the same joking tone of voice.

"I was wondering, Harry, I mean you can totally say no or whatever, but maybe we could try out a few of those things as we are the only gays in the year. I mean even if you wanted to just experiment a little, though to be honest I would quite like to be more than that with you."

Harry didn't reply but just pulled Draco into a bruising kiss.