AN: I don't know why I thought it would be acceptable to write this... If you're unfamiliar with League of Legends as a videogame, you're very lucky and should get out of here before it corrupts you, too (Done for the red/blue theme of Day 1 of Klance Week, because League has a red team and a blue team, heh. I'd love to expand on this sometime!)
The guy's a fucking Yasuo player, which is the first indicator that he's a gigantic asshole.
The second indicator is that he's apparently smart enough to always focus enemy carries in teamfights, if Lance's rapidly-increasing death count is anything to go by.
"You fucker," Lance growls, staring at his greyed-out screen for what feels like the millionth time. His team is too far behind to win the fight without their AD carry, and he watches as they get absolutely demolished by the stupidly overpowered Yasuo and his fed Lucian.
Solo queue is such a bitch, Lance thinks as a surrender vote pops up on the side of his screen and quickly goes through, 4-1. (He's the one no, of course.)
When the post-game lobby pops up, Lance wastes no time in explaining what bullshit it was that this goddamn Yasuo player picked him off in every single fight while his team failed to protect him.
The Yasuo - his username is KittyRose, what does that even mean - says, Maybe you should've positioned better instead of blaming your team, and Lance narrows his eyes at his computer screen. He's not about to back down from a challenge like that, and his fingers fly across his keyboard as he types out a quick response.
Lance hits the enter key with no small amount of flourish, only to see that KittyRose has left the lobby, and as such has entirely missed his masterful comeback.
Which is unacceptable, of course.
He's persistent, as Pidge always tells him with an exasperated sigh, and he mouses over the 'Add Friend' button without thinking twice about it.
[12:34AM] KittyRose: Did you really add me just to shittalk?
[12:34AM] Blue Paladin: NO
[12:35AM] Blue Paladin: I added you to help you see the light
[12:35AM] KittyRose: What.
[12:36AM] Blue Paladin: There's still hope for you, man
[12:36AM] Blue Paladin: All you have to do is stop playing dumb bullshit like Yasuo
[12:37AM] KittyRose: …
[12:38AM] KittyRose: There's nothing wrong with playing Yasuo
A few clicks in-client show that the dude's match history is filled with Yasuo and Zed games, and holy shit. Lance takes back what he said. All hope is lost.
He probably plays Riven, too.
[12:40AM] Blue Paladin: Oh god are you one of those people who insists he's a mechanically intensive champion
[12:40AM] KittyRose: HE IS!
[12:41AM] Blue Paladin: You're worse than I thought
[12:41AM] KittyRose: I'm not the one who lost last game, am I?
[12:42AM] Blue Paladin: wtf
[12:42AM] Blue Paladin: I only lost because my Sona and Vi never peeled for me
[12:42AM] Blue Paladin: WE WON BOT LANE
They bicker for awhile after that, and Lance only realizes how late it is after grabs a glass of water and shoots a passing glance the blue glow of his microwave's clock. It's almost two in the morning, and he's spent over an hour arguing with one of the worst playerbases of the entire fucking game.
He just didn't realize how fun it would be. The guy keeps up with his quips and always manages to retort with something witty enough to make him laugh, and damn, Lance wouldn't mind playing against him again.
It's way too late to queue up for another game, though, and anyway he has class early the next morning, so he just types a quick, Whatever, in response to what KittyRose is rambling about before logging off and shutting down his computer.
He collapses into bed with a satisfying, jaw-popping yawn.
Honestly, he forgets about having the dumb Yasuo player on his friend list until a few days later. He's scrolling down to see if either Pidge or Hunk are available to duo with him when he sees it: KittyRose In Queue.
A grin lights up Lance's face, because this is the perfect opportunity to snipe that motherfucker and show him just how competent he is at AD when his team doesn't feed the shit out of the enemy mid. The idea seems more plausible when Lance considers that their MMR was similar enough to match them up in a game before, and he quickly queues up.
When it pops, he scans a quick eye down his teammates' usernames. Fortunately, there's no KittyRose on his team - although one of his allies wants to play Ezreal mid and is named Estrogen, and fuck if that isn't hilarious - although his status has changed from In Queue to In Champion Select, and this was the best idea ever, Lance has no idea why his friends don't constantly praise him as a genius.
KittyRose apparently has a hardon for melee champs, because both teams go through champ select and the enemy mid laner instalocks Kassadin, but Lance can deal with that. He just needs to pick an AD with an escape, hovering over Vayne before finally deciding on Trist.
When the timer hits zero and the game launches, Lance stares triumphantly at the enemy Kassadin loading in.
[00:06] [All] Blue Paladin (Tristana): hey there stranger
[00:14] [All] KittyRose (Kassadin): oh god
[00:22] [All] Blue Paladin (Tristana): that's not quite my name
[00:25] [All] Blue Paladin (Tristana): but i'm flattered
[00:38] [All] KittyRose (Kassadin): will I ever be free from your terrible jokes
[00:47] [All] Blue Paladin (Tristana): aww little kitty has claws
[01:03] [All] KittyRose (Kassadin): you're about to get stomped
Minions spawn before he can say anything else, and Lance occupies himself with leashing for his jungler. He's immediately pleased to see his support Leona position aggressively when they make it to lane, because it means she's competent. It's always immensely satisfying to have decent supports, and Lance grins as he starts last hitting.
Because of Leona's inherently offensive nature, they nail a double kill fairly early on, and Lance is a smart enough player to use the extra kill gold to their advantage. It doesn't even matter that their top laner is having a rough time beating the enemy Irelia, because they're far enough ahead that they don't need jungler intervention, and he can dedicate his time toward ganking for the solo lanes.
The game is a landslide win, over in under thirty minutes. When the victory screen flashes across his monitor, Lance leans back satisfactorily in his chair.
At least for a moment, anyway. Then he's jerking up and toward his keyboard to gloat.
[03:15PM] Blue Paladin: Not so talkative when you don't win, are you
[03:16PM] KittyRose: You're so excited I'm pretty convinced this is the first game you've ever won
[03:16PM] KittyRose: Really proud of you
[03:16PM] Blue Paladin: ASSHOLE
[03:17PM] Blue Paladin: I didn't snipe you to be treated like this
[03:17PM] Blue Paladin: Where's my well-deserved congratulations for carrying my team
[03:18PM] KittyRose: Please, your jungler did all the work
[03:18PM] Blue Paladin: You wound me
[03:19PM] Blue Paladin: I'm literally bleeding out right now from your cruel words
[03:20PM] KittyRose: And yet you're still here
[03:20PM] KittyRose: … Rematch?
[03:20PM] Blue Paladin: You're on
Lance doesn't manage to snipe him again, but he still keeps the chat box open.
It's late, far too late for Lance to reasonably be awake and playing videogames, when his client flashes orange with a notification.
[4:12AM] KittyRose: Wanna duo?
Lance has no typed out into the chatbox before he can even think about it, but then he pauses to consider his own quick response. If they play on the same team, then their competitive rivalry will dissolve, and Lance isn't entirely sure he's ready to give up that dynamic just yet. Arguing with KittyRose, constantly trying to one-up him, is enjoyable, and if they fight on the Fields of Justice as allies, then who knows how that will change.
But, as loathe as he is to admit it, KittyRose is a good mid laner. And, truth be told, Lance wouldn't mind having him on his team to gain some MMR...
[4:14AM] Blue Paladin: Sure
And, okay, if they're going to play together, then it does make sense to hop on Teamspeak with the guy, but Lance mulls the idea over in his head. KittyRose is a dick, and there's always a risk present that goes hand-in-hand with chatting random strangers up over voice comms, but…
If he turns out to be really annoying, Lance can always unadd him and ask Shiro to ban him from the server. (Someday he'll gain mod permissions of his own. Someday...)
Lance shoots him a quick message with the server info and opens up the program.
KittyRose enters the channel, and after a second, he hears a quiet, "Hello," through his headset.
Lance actually freezes in his chair because shit, the guy has a nice voice.
"Uh, hey," he responds belatedly. Now would be a good time for his libido to shut the fuck up, because KittyRose has spoken a single goddamn word and Lance's mind is already imagining what that voice could sound like under different circumstances.
"Join my lobby," KittyRose says, and Lance forces himself to think of more pressing matters - like how he is not referring to this guy as either Kitty or Rose.
"Okay, I am not calling you Kitty - seriously, what kind of username is that?"
"My name's Keith," he says, something like laughter coloring his tone. "The handle comes from a friend's nickname for me."
"Works for me," Lance says. "I'm Lance. You ready to be carried, Keith?"
"I'm not too sure you know what that word means, given your performance the last few games I've played against you."
"Asshole," Lance mutters, but he's grinning as they queue up for a match.
Turns out he worried for nothing, because they're still competitive as shit despite being on the same team. Keith isn't quiet when he scores kills, and Lance hits the tab key way too many times to make sure his KDA is always beating his mid laner's.
He doesn't say it out loud, but it's all he can think about the further they get into the game: Keith and him make a really good team.
Usually, Lance tries to queue up with Hunk so they can get some bot lane synergy going, but there's something seriously awesome about having a mid laner as a duo partner. They have much more map presence with a roaming mid, and getting multiple ganks is something he's not quite used to when he's playing with just Hunk.
Thinking of Hunk makes him think of Pidge and Shiro, and he blurts out, "You should play with my other friends sometime. With you mid, we'd have a full premade!"
Keith goes quiet for long enough that Lance is just about to panic about overstepping boundaries with an almost-stranger when he speaks.
"Yeah," he says, finally. "Yeah, I'd like that."
And Lance grins.