Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize, i am only making money when i'm working my socks off

It was official, they were Danny and Lindsay no more, the distance between them was too great, like a giant chasm between them, their working relationship had only just been salvaged with a few threats from Mac. No more teasing jokes, playful banter, sexual innuendos. Lindsay had gracefully declined her presence during their friendly nights out at Sullivan's, not wanting to cause tension during a night of what was supposed to be fun.
Choosing instead to take up a hobby on her free nights, search for a new apartment on her free days, determined to find one before the start of the New Year, a resolution to start afresh from that day onwards.
Putting her painful past behind her and refusing to let it control her life for another day she became the new Lindsay Monroe.

Politely handing Danny the file containing his suspects DNA she pretended his closeness didn't bother her as she picked up the bag containing her dress and accessories for the evening and left the room almost as quickly as she entered it.

Calling her brother and arranging for him to meet her by the elevators in an hour's time, she headed for the locker room to change.

Keeping her make-up neutral she clipped the top half of her hair back messily, leaving a few stray curly tendrils to stroke her face and neck. Slipping her red salsa dress over her head she pulled it down her body, adjusting the red fabric so it highlighted her curves elongating her slim toned tanned legs.

Strapping the black sandals to her feet she adjusted the straps up her calves before standing up to admire her reflection in the mirror she sprayed light perfume on to her neck and input the silver earrings.

"Wow Linds" Stella exclaimed as she entered the locker room at the end of her shift "You look nice, hot date?" she questioned looking her friend up and down approvingly.

"No my brother's in town, were going out" Lindsay smiled back and grabbed her purse and cell phone before wishing Stella goodnight and heading back for the elevators.

She didn't notice the appreciative looks she was receiving from her colleagues not that she'd care if she did, she wasn't looking for any attention from the male variety, Danny had effectively steered her away from that attention for a while, her heart needed to recover.

Grabbing his cell Danny decided another coffee was what he needed, it had been another day of Lindsay ignoring his friendly advances, both of them acting like complete strangers, acting as though they had never shared more than an office together.

It was killing him slowly, he missed her, as a friend and as a lover, but they'd both agreed it was best they move on and work on making their working relationship amicable.

Watching her walk past all dressed to the nine's greeting her friend with a smile and a hug; it made him jealous there was no denying it. Part of him wondered where they were going; the other part of him questioned why she had never dressed up like that for him. Given to the fact he had always suggested they watch movies at each other's apartments but it was beside the point.

"She looks nice" Stella commented as she stood by her younger friend's side, watching him watch Lindsay until she disappeared into the elevator.

He cleared his throat nonchalantly and took a sip of his coffee, refraining from answering Stella's implied question. "Give it time Danny, it'll work out" she assured him and left him to his coffee.

Snuggling into Jack Monroe's arms in protection against the cold they both gossiped about the latest news from back home in Montana. And then came the question she had been dreading the entire evening "So how's things with you and Danny?" he smirked teasingly and then tensed when she looked across the street. "Linds?" he questioned steering her towards a bench by the lake in Central Park.

"We err… Me and Danny…We broke up" she smiled sadly, fingering the edge of her dress nervously.

He engulfed her into his arms "You want to talk?" he questioned carefully

Lindsay took a deep breath to compose herself she shook her head "No, tonight is supposed to be fun, not reflecting on my screwed up life" she joked and pulled him from the bench "Let's go for a drink, I don't want to go home yet" she pulled him in the direction of Sullivan's knowing that the rest of the team wouldn't be there.

Danny watched as she giggled drunkenly in the booth at a joke her companion was telling her, they hadn't seem him yet. He was mesmerized by her laugh, albeit in drunken stupor. He watched as her brother was whisked away by a confident brunette to dance leaving her alone, nursing her drink.

Seeing a group of men eyeing her up he knew it was now or never, grabbing his beer he took a swig for confidence wishing he was as intoxicated as she was.

Sliding into the booth beside her he nudged her up with his body.

"You're drunk" he commented as he studied her affectionately, turning around to face her.

She took another drink "I want to forget, that's not a crime" her voice was soft despite the harsh meaning behind her words "I love you that much it makes me want to hate you" she whispered angrily.

"I'm sorry Lindsay" he answered honestly, he didn't know what else to say to her.

"No you're not, don't pretend you care Danny, I get it, I really do, I was nothing more than a conquest, how easy was it to bed the country girl?" she was ranting to herself more than him, belittling herself with every breath she took.

"I do care Linds, more than you know" he placed his hand over hers, linking her fingers in his.

She curled her fingers around his instinctively. "Danny" his lips meeting hers stopped her from what she was about to say. He knew he was taking advantage of her but it was the only way he knew how to convince her he hadn't used her, that he did care.

Pulling back from her he rested his forehead on hers "Let me walk you home" he whispered.

Surprisingly she accepted his offer. Telling her brother she was leaving before allowing Danny to lead her home.

"Why couldn't you just end it with me before you did that Danny? Gave me some crap about it not being what you wanted?" he hated himself for the hurt harbored in her voice.

"Lindsay, you are the best thing to have ever happened to me, I wouldn't have chased after you if all I wanted was a fling" he turned her to face him "everyday I regret hurting you like I did, and I wish more than anything that I could take that back" he looked down at the floor momentarily "but I can't but I want to try and make it better, I need my best friend Linds" he cupped her face with his hands "I'm scared of what you make me feel, any other girl and I wouldn't care about what I did, but with you I know it was wrong and I swear Lindsay I just want to make this right, I want to be an us again" he could see the tears flowing down her cheeks as she listened to him "right now I know I don't deserve you, I just need to know we won't be apart forever, that someday there's hope for us"

"I'm drunk Danny, right now I want nothing more than to let you back in, but in the morning I don't know, Danny I need time, I don't know whether I can get past this" she admitted truthfully

"Whatever you need Lindsay, let me help get past this" his voice echoed his urgency.

Taking a deep breath she led them over to the park bench, noticing how his hand was still linked in hers "I have to know why you did it" she whispered "I can't move on if I don't know what went wrong"

Danny knew he owed her that much, sighing he nodded "No interruptions?" he asked as her head fell against his shoulder.

She nodded silently and waited for him to go on "When I'm with you I always want to be the best I can be, when Ruben died I wasn't, I was a mess, I didn't want you to see that, so I did the only thing I could think off, I pushed you away" his voice grew lower and he pulled her closer to him holding her there just in case she got the urge to up and run "That night, I wanted to talk to you so badly, but I'd pushed you so far away I didn't know how to, the next thing I know Rikki was there" he paused when she shivered, whether it was against the cold or not he didn't know "I didn't have to explain we were grieving for the same person, she was crying, I didn't know how to make her stop" he paused again knowing that he owed it to Lindsay to keep talking "I kissed her to make her stop, one thing led to another and we ended up in bed. For a moment it made me forget, made me stop hurting" her tears were coming faster silently down her cheeks "When we woke up she was smiling at me, like she was happy for once, I was making breakfast when you called, hearing your voice it brought me back to reality, you were trying so hard and all I wanted was for Rikki to be happy again"

She closed her eyes in an attempt to forget how he had fed her some lame excuse at having to do his chores. "We were heading back to the bedroom, but I couldn't I stopped it, we agreed it was something to make us both feel better, nothing more, then I got to work and you were so pissed, that's when I knew how bad I had messed things up"

"I could smell her on you" Lindsay whispered "I didn't want to believe it, truth was I lost you long before that" she whispered sadly "The no show for shifts, forgetting my birthday, Stella's apartment on fire, Dan, you'd have been the first one there"

Danny nodded knowing she was right, he would have been, instead he had issued a 'hope she's OK' and took Rikki to bed, "I didn't forget your birthday, I… the gift I got you…it… we were…I'd pushed you to far for it to mean what I meant it" he struggled to find his words. "I had the whole night planned, every detail, it was easier for me to pretend I'd forgotten rather than giving you some dumb excuse" he swiped at his own tears "When I tried to get you back, get us back you pulled away and I wanted nothing more than to wave a magic wand and make it better, but I couldn't, I love you Lindsay and I want nothing more than to get us back"

"When my friends were killed, I ran with the wrong crowd, figuring they were tougher, that if it happened again they'd be able to fight back, somehow survive, I felt weak, I wanted to feel stronger, we took drugs, drank alcohol every night, went joyriding in people's cars for the night" she told him "I remember Tommy Hickman daring me to take the sheriff's car, I was too high and too drunk to know it was wrong, I got arrested, my so called friends grassed me up, I thought they were my friends, turns out they were taking advantage" she smiled lightly "When the sheriff called my parents, the look on their faces, I'd never seen them so disappointed, right then and there I wanted to curl up and wish the floor would swallow me whole, my dad walked away saying I was no daughter of his, he was a respectable lawyer, and I was ruining his reputation around town, my momma followed him" Danny squeezed her tighter in comfort "my brother was the only one who stayed, held me while I cried, he made me promise I'd get help, he pulled a few strings and I got let off with an unofficial warning, I buried myself in my studies, I wanted answers to questions I couldn't ask, I majored in science and studied forensics at Montana University and went to work for the police department before applying for CSI" her tone told him how proud she was that she had got there and on her own "My parents still refuse to talk to me, every year my brother asks them when they're gonna let go off the past and live in the future, every year they say, someday but not yet"

"They don't know what they're missing" Danny assured her, stroking the bare skin of her shoulder under his thumb.

Lindsay shook her head "the point of me telling you that was, Danny I can't hold onto the past, I want to see each day as a new day, I want to forget about what you did, but it's gonna be hard, I want to be able to move on, not to spend each minute were apart, wondering where you are and whether you're with someone doing it all again"

"I'll do whatever you need me to do" he assured her once more.

"I can't make you do what you don't want to, that's just gonna make things worse in the long run, I need to trust you Danny, right now I only trust you with my life and not my heart…" he tried cutting her off but she continued forcing him to stop "I know what you did wasn't meant to happen, but it doesn't make it any easier to deal with, I'm gonna need some time on this one"

Danny nodded feeling somewhat lighter than he had before they say down, glancing at his watch he frowned at the time "it's 4am Montana" he notified her, turning to look at her for the first time since they had sat down, her eyes closed and smiling made him slightly nervous "What?" he asked, her eyes shot open at his question.

"You haven't called me that in months, it feels good to hear it again"

His brow wrinkled "Hawkes called it you the other week"

"It didn't sound quite the same, he said it in greeting, you say it when you're trying to piss me off" she smiled once more.

"Friends?" he asked hopefully, a shy grin highlighting his face.

Lindsay nodded "Friends" she agreed and sat forward to hug him gently.

"I should get you home, you working?" he asked as he stood from the bench and held out his hand for her to use as leverage from the bench.

"No, Mac gave me time off" she wrinkled her brow in confusion when he stated that Mac had given him time off as well, they moved aside as two male joggers came running past.

"Was that Mac?" Danny questioned staring at the backs of the two joggers.

"With my brother?" she asked stunned.

They both smiled secretly relieved at the intervention from their boss, they had both found their best friend, one day they'd be lovers once more. Only this time it would be different, this time it would be forever.

Please review: let me know what you think:-)