Disclaimer: The characters of glee do not belong to me. I started this fic two years ago, before 99 & 100. So for this fic we're just pretending those didn't happen. But I hadn't had a Brittana fic idea in 2 years so I went with it. It's Britt's feelings about Dantana. Officially though I have nothing against Dantana. I want my bb San to be happy. But B decides that she wants to get her back. I also will let ya'll know that I didn't keep B going to MIT. I did love her in 4x22 though. Anyway, hope ya'll like!
You're Keepin' Me Down
By Julia
Brittany picked up her phone. It was a text from Kurt. She didn't know why he was texting her. She was trying to work on her homework. She had to get good grades this year so she could graduate. Brittany was determined to get out of high school. She had worked as hard as she could to get as good of grades as she could. Brittany picked up her phone, to see what he had to say. He had told her that Santana had a new girlfriend. Brittany didn't know what to say to that. She wasn't sure how she felt about it. She still loved Santana. Brittany had always loved her. No matter who she had been with, she had always loved Santana. She texted him back, telling him thanks for the info.
Now she had to decide what to say to Santana. Brittany did want to say something. She just didn't know exactly what to say. Brittany put aside her homework. She wasn't going to be able to concentrate anymore. At least, not right now. She laid back on her bed, her brow furrowed. Brittany pet Lord Tubbs as he hopped on the bed with her. She loved her cat very much. She wasn't sure that he felt that way about Santana, though. The cat that Sam had gotten for her was with him. Britt had broken up with him, and she didn't regret that. They hadn't been the best couple in the world. Brittany had been right that they'd end up bad. She had tried to tell him that they would break up. Brittany didn't know why he had kept pushing. Brittany had to admit that she had kind of let herself get caught up in his promises. And when they'd thought that 2012 was the end of the world, Brittany had gotten scared. She had wanted to hold onto anything that she could. Brittany really didn't know what she had been thinking. She had never been so stupid before. At least the marriage had been fake. She thought that had been very luck for her and Sam.
She rolled over on her bed, her phone still in her hand. Brittany didn't want whatever she did say to be the wrong thing. She and Santana had never had a perfect relationship, but this was on her. Brittany had told her no when she'd wanted to get back together. She had still been hurt, even if she hadn't said so. Brittany also hadn't wanted to hurt Sam. Not for no reason. Brittany had cared about him, even if she wasn't in love with him. She ran her free hand through her long blonde hair. Brittany didn't know what to do. She didn't like this situation. In a way, she knew that she didn't have any right to be upset. She was, but she wasn't angry. Brittany didn't expect that Santana would wait for her. That wasn't right. Brittany's fingers moved over her phone to text Santana. Hey, what's up? Can we talk? She wasn't sure that she expected an answer. Things were weird with them right now. She wasn't sure if she blamed Santana if she was upset. Although, Santana had hurt her first. Brittany didn't know how this was going to go. She stared at her phone, willing it to light up with a text message. If she were going to ever develop Harry Potter magic, now would be the best time. When it did, she was surprised. Did she really have special powers like Harry? Or Santa Claus? She went to read the text. It said, What about, B?
Her heart pounded. Brittany thought a moment before she replied. Kurt says you have a new gf. Brittany didn't know if that sounded accusatory, but she hoped not. She had no room to sound that way. Brittany really thought that they needed to talk over the phone. Or in person. Text messages weren't the best way. She didn't know that the other girl would want to hear from her on the phone. Brittany was honestly surprised that Santana had texted her back. She was further surprised when Santana texted back again. Yes. Her name is Dani. Why? She had to think about that before she replied. B/c I want to be with you, Santana. I shouldn't have said no. That was hard to admit, whether she had wanted to or not. Brittany wasn't sure what she expected. It's not like she had a right to expect her to break up with Dani. She hadn't even seen her, the girl might be really hot, too. Not that that was the only reason to be with someone. Brittany rolled over on her bed, staring at her phone. It didn't light up just yet. She kept her eyes on it, as Lord Tubbington hopped up onto the bed with her again. She was so nervous as to what San would say. It was really nerve wracking. She could lose any chance she had.
That was unbelievable to Santana. She didn't know why all of a sudden Brittany wanted to get back together. Santana wasn't exactly serious about Dani yet, but she wasn't sure that she wanted to get back together with Brittany. She had been hurt when Brittany had told her no again. While she'd been dating a boy. Santana didn't want that to happen again. She was a little gun shy. She didn't begrudge Brittany being bi, but she had to admit, getting rejected for guys twice wasn't at all pleasant. It was not something that she relished happening again. She delayed in sending back a text. She wasn't sure what to say. It was a complicated situation. There was no easy way to solve it. Santana didn't want to just toss Dani aside. She liked her. And she was actually a lesbian. She sounded like she was hating on girls who were bisexual, but she had to admit, it was nice knowing she didn't have to worry about Dani being with a boy. Santana didn't want to go through that again, ever. She had cried enough tears for that kind of thing. She finally sent a text back. You have a lot of nerve bringing this up now. Now that I have a gf.She was sure that that sounded incredibly bitchy. She was born a bitch, though, that was almost a natural pose. Santana was trying not to agonize over what B would say back.
Even though Brittany had expected that kind of response, she still had to hold back tears. That hurt. She grabbed one of her stuffed animals and hugged it as she texted back. I'm sorry, okay? I know that I hurt you. She sniffled, feeling like a very sad panda. She hated feeling that way. Lord Tubbs crawled onto her, as if he could sense her distress. Brittany laid her head on her pillow, dejectedly, looking at her phone. She didn't know if she was really strong enough for this. She should have just kept this to herself. Brittany was already regretting this. Her phone lit up with a text. You did, & I like Dani. I don't want to leave her. Brittany ran her hand through her long blonde hair. She was sure that she deserved that. Brittany didn't know that there was anything to say to that. She didn't really have a defense. She wiped her eyes. She sent a text back. Please, Tana. I know I don't have any room to talk. She started to cry, and she grabbed some tissues. She hadn't felt this way in a long time. Not since Santana had broken up with her. Brittany knew that she had been really sad. Maybe the saddest that she'd ever been in her whole life. Brittany hated to be sad. It was the worst feeling.
That Santana didn't want to answer. She hated for Brittany to be upset. She really did. It just wasn't a good idea for them to get back together right now. Santana just wasn't going to just leave Dani on Britt's say so. Not again. She didn't text back, she just lay back and went back to her laptop. She felt really guilty, she could have been nicer about it. She just couldn't deal with it right now. She had been really upset for a long time after she'd broken up with Brittany, and then when the blonde had stayed with Sam. Santana had only spoken to him once since then. He wasn't one of her favorite people. She didn't…. well, she did hate him, but she knew she had no right to. He had been in his rights to date Brittany. That didn't mean she had to like it. She didn't. She didn't know what to really say to him. She had gone when he'd told her that Brittany had flipped out, but that was for her. She didn't want Sam to think about it and think it had been for him. She was trying to ignore the way her heart was calling out for Brittany. She cared about her still. She'd never been in love with anyone but Brittany. Santana had cared about Puckerman, and she still did, but she hadn't been in love with him. She had to be strong. She couldn't get drawn back into the web and be hurt again. Santana sighed and looked out the window.
It was three weeks before they spoke again. A week after Finn Hudson's funeral. Santana wasn't surprised to hear from her. Brittany had texted her a few times, but she hadn't texted back. But Brittany Skyped her, and Santana didn't have the heart to tell her that she wanted to ignore her. She knew that Brittany was upset about Finn, and honestly, Santana was, too. She answered the Skype call. "Hey, Britt." She said. She was lying on the couch, her eyes red rimmed from crying. Santana didn't know why something like this had to happen to someone like Finn. She hoped that Brittany would want to talk about anything else. Santana didn't want to talk about him. "What's up, B?" She asked. She hoped that Brittany didn't want to talk about their relationship either. But then again, it was hard to hide your real feelings on Skype. She did her best to keep her face passive. She wasn't aware of what this was about, but she just hoped it wasn't anything too serious. She couldn't handle serious right now. Kurt and Rachel were both milling about the apartment somewhere. She ran her hand through her long black hair.
Brittany had been really sad about Finn. She didn't want to talk about him, though. She just wanted to get closer to Santana again. They had used to be best friends. She wanted them to be good friends again. Really, she wanted them to be together, but she couldn't make her if she didn't want to. Brittany tucked some of her blonde hair behind her ear. She was determined for her and Santana to mend fences. They had to fix things. She gave Santana a careful smile. "Hi, San." She said, giving her a small wave, too. She also had some news for Santana. She wasn't sure that she'd like it but she didn't want to keep it a secret. "San, I just wanted to talk to you. We aren't close anymore, and I want us to fix that." She told her. She had the house to herself, her parents weren't here. She didn't know if she could expect them back anytime soon. Her little sister was sleeping over at a friend's. Brittany sipped the soda she was drinking. She hoped that they could work things out. She really did. Brittany was wearing her Cheerios uniform, she wanted Santana to know what she was missing. It was graduation soon, she couldn't wait. She wasn't sure what she'd do yet, but she didn't have to have it all figured out yet. She also had to factor in the baby. It was Sam's. She wasn't sure if she was going to tell him yet though.
It was definitely true that Brittany looked hot in her uniform. Santana forced herself not to drool. She didn't know how to be nonchalant about how hot Brittany was. The blonde was her Kryptonite. She didn't know how Brittany was thinking that they'd work it out. She wasn't sure that she could go through being broken up from Brittany again if they broke up. She didn't have a reason to leave Dani. They were only sort of dating since they'd just met, but she liked her a lot. Even if Santana had never actually dated another lesbian before. Only bi girls. Not that there was anything wrong with that. She just didn't know how it was going to go. She wouldn't get left for a guy with Dani. That really would be nice. They really liked each other. Santana did her best not to ogle Britt in that uniform as she said, "Hey, B. I'm… I think that we're… well I know that there's some issues, but that doesn't mean that we're not still close." She told her. Santana still considered Brittany her best friend. She barely spoke to Quinn anymore. Since she had dated Britt, she wasn't sure if she counted her as a girlfriend in the sense of a friend. She shrugged and tucked some hair behind her ear.
"We're not, San." Brittany said. She didn't know how to express what she wanted to say. What she did know what that they belonged together. She had never loved anyone like she had Santana. "We hardly talk anymore. I miss you. You have to come to Nationals." Brittany told her. She really really missed her. "We are working hard. Puck's going to be singing lead." She told Santana. Puck hadn't graduated, either. But because of him missing most of his classes. She had been glad to have Puck with her. She knew everyone else in glee well, but Puck was from her class. She and Puck were singing a duet at Nationals. They'd barely made it to Nationals. If Dalton hadn't cheated they wouldn't be. Brittany was glad that they were getting a chance. She didn't know if they'd win but they had a shot. "I'm glad that I can talk to you." Brittany was, too. More than anything. "I have something to tell you, too." She told her. It wasn't going to be easy to say this. Brittany let out a breath. She said slowly, "I'm pregnant. For real this time." Before she'd thought she was with Artie's, but she hadn't been. Brittany hoped that Santana would take this okay. She didn't know how she would, and it was big info. She let out another breath as she waited for Santana's reaction. She could handle it if Santana freaked. Not that Brittany wasn't freaking.
"You're having a baby?" Santana asked incredulously. Please, say she was joking. Santana didn't know what to say. She didn't know how to handle this. What was Brittany hoping would happen? Santana didn't know how she was going to help her deal with this. It was different than when Quinn had been. This was her ex-girlfriend. And it sounded like Brittany wanted to get back together. Santana wasn't sure that she could handle that. "Is…. is it Trouty's?" She asked. She was sure it was, but she couldn't help but ask. Santana wasn't sure what to say. She didn't think that she'd ever been at a loss like this. "B, I don't know what to tell you. I wish that I did. But… why weren't you careful? I know that you don't always know what to do, but you need to be smarter about this." She knew that that was a bit of tough love, but Brittany needed to hear that. Sometimes tough love was necessary. She touched her heart, it was pounding like crazy. She was hoping that Brittany wasn't about to ask her to help raise this kid. She didn't want that at all. Santana drummed her fingers on the table, doing her best to keep calm till she had all the facts. No sense in getting all crazy.
Brittany digested this. She then said, "Yes, it's Sam's. We broke up though and I don't know what to say to him. We weren't a good couple. I don't know why I chose him over you." This was true, and Brittany took a deep breath. She wasn't sure what to say now. "I… San, I can't raise this baby by myself. I…. I know that I don't have the right to expect that you'll leave your girlfriend for me. But I still love you, San. More than I ever loved anyone else. I don't know how we'll fix this, but I know we can. I… I know that I hurt you. I know that. I… you hurt me when you broke up with me. I was afraid of being hurt again." It was true, and she hoped that it wouldn't start a fight. She didn't want to fight. Brittany did think that this was going to help in the long run though. They had to air out all of this weirdness and bad feelings. Brittany felt better already. She said, "I miss your sweet lady kisses. I miss everything about you. I don't think that there's anyone else out there for me. Just you." They could fix this, right? They had to. She didn't think that she could be without San anymore. She didn't know how they could ever be without each other again. Brittany knew that no one had ever loved her like Santana did. She didn't know if she'd ever find someone else who would.
"No, B, don't do this, okay? Getting over you was the hardest thing that I ever had to do. I can't do it again." Santana said, her eyes filling with tears despite herself. She didn't want to cry. It was the last thing she wanted. Santana couldn't show that side of her right now. She didn't want Brittany to think that she was going to get back with her. She wasn't. She had no reason to break up with Dani. They had just started dating. Santana didn't know that she could be that bitchy. It wasn't very good of her. She didn't know how she was going to make it through this conversation. "I can't…. I don't want to hurt Dani if I don't have to. B, I will always love you but I'm not sure that us being together is the best idea. All we've done lately is hurt each other. I don't like to hurt you. It's like clubbing a baby panda." It was true, and Santana really didn't want to do it anymore. She didn't know why Brittany was making her say these things. They had to be hurting her, too. She wiped her eyes, hoping that these would be the last of her tears. She was tired of crying about Brittany. It was getting old and she had a new girlfriend now.
"I don't want us to, either. But I have to say this, Tana." Brittany insisted. Santana had to know that she had no options. "I… you have to know that I love you. You have to have all your options. You….. we have to get all of this out in the open so we can mend fences. I don't want to be sad when I think of you. I want to be able to think of you and be happy." She sounded a little forlorn, but she honestly wasn't trying to make the Latina feel guilty. She just couldn't not speak up about her feelings. They had to work things out. They had used to be so close. Brittany hated to fight with Santana. It seemed like they were always hurting each other and they almost never wanted to be together at the same time. Brittany wanted them to work things out. They deserved to be happy. They could be if they just tried. "I know that you're taken now. But I still love you. I probably always will. No one will ever love me like you did. I know that now." She said. She sighed and ran a hand through her long blonde hair as she lounged on her bed. Brittany didn't know what to say to convince her. She had to be convincing. They had to resolve something. "I'm…. I'm scared, San. I don't know what to do about this baby. I… I am afraid to tell Mom and Dad. I can't be a mom, especially a single mom."
It was on the tip of her tongue to call her a MILF, but she didn't. Santana knew that wouldn't end up the way that she wanted. Brittany would take it more seriously than she meant it. That wouldn't exactly help. She didn't know what to say. It wasn't exactly the best situation. "B, I can't get back together with you. I told you. It was too hard getting over you. I can't do it again. I will always love you, B, but I don't have any reason to break up with Dani. We just started dating. I'm sorry that you have to deal with this, B, but I can't get involved like that." It sounded harsh, but Santana couldn't handle being around a baby that had Sam as a father. Even if Brittany had broken up with him. She wiped her eyes again. Dammit, she couldn't do this right now. If they talked about light subjects that would be so much better. Santana really didn't know how Brittany would handle this. "I have to go for now, B. I'm sorry. I really am. You know you can count on me. I just… I need some time to adjust." She said bye and hung up. This was too much for her to handle, and it wasn't even happening to her. She let out a breath. She had to get ready for work. Damn.
The next couple of days, Brittany was despondent. She wasn't really talking to anyone. Only Puck. They were pretty close. They were eating lunch together. Brittany had gotten something to eat, but she was really just poking at it. Puck nudged her, telling her to eat. He was the only other member of ND besides Santana who knew about the baby. Brittany knew that she had to tell Sam. She didn't want to keep him out of anything. She just didn't know how to tell him. They'd been safe, too. Maybe the condom had had a hole or something. She should have been on birth control. She just hadn't expected this. "I'm not really that hungry." Brittany told him.
"You have to eat, Brittany. It's not just you. You have to keep an eye on the baby." Puck told her. He really didn't know what Santana had been thinking. Why she had told Brittany she couldn't be involved. She didn't know what that had done to Brittany. Puck didn't know if he could be picking sides though, because he and Santana were close, too. He just couldn't stand to see Brittany sad. He didn't like it because he couldn't punch Santana for doing this to her. Puck was satisfied when Brittany started eating. He was glad, she was going to need the strength. The baby had to grow strong. He really thought that she should tell Sam. He knew that Sam would want to know. He knew why she was hesitant. She was still deciding on if she'd keep it or not.
"I know, the baby is growing." She said knowledgably. She was glad that she had gotten some education. Brittany knew that if she was going to raise this baby she'd need to know. She just wasn't sure if she could give up the baby though. Brittany didn't really want someone else raising her baby. "I know I have to tell Sam." She managed to say. Brittany really didn't want to. It was going to be messy and out of her control. "Even though glee club is disbanding, they're all still my family. We… I don't know what to do, Puck." It was true. Her dilemma was exactly the same. Brittany looked over across the caf. Sam was looking at her with puppy dog eyes. Brittany was trying to avoid looking back. She didn't need his thoughts. She didn't want him back. Brittany didn't even know why they had dated in the first place. She had just been sad about Santana, she guessed. Brittany didn't really know how this was all going to go. She wanted Santana to say that she wanted to raise this baby with her.
"I've been there before, Britt. Sam deserves to know. Even if you don't plan on having the baby with him." Puck told her matter of factly. He knew about this sort of thing. He had already been in that situation before. Puck had to admit, he wished it had gone differently. Puck would have raised her with Quinn. Puck didn't know that he envied Sam right now. Puck didn't want to have to deal with that again. He had to admit, he wasn't surprised that Brittany was pregnant. She didn't exactly know enough about things like that to avoid it.
Heaving a sigh, Brittany took a sip of her soda. "Do you think I should have the baby?" She asked Puck. Brittany couldn't abort it, because that was just wrong. Brittany couldn't kill a baby like that. But she supposed it was different if you were raped or something. Not that Brittany was even sure she understood what that was. She kept her blue eyes on Puck, waiting for him to tell her what he thought. Brittany didn't know if she wanted to be told not to have the baby. Although, she wasn't sure that it would help her with Tana if she was having Sam's baby. She would do just about anything to get Santana back. Brittany loved her.
Before Puck could answer, Sam came up to the table. Sam folded his arms. "Brittany, I want to talk to you." Sam didn't want to get back with her, no matter what Brittany thought. Sam had moved on. He could tell that something was up with Brittany though. He kept his green eyes on the blonde. "What is going on with you? Why do you keep staring at me?" Sam supposed that he couldn't really be mad at her, he was pretty sexy. However, he wasn't sure that he wanted the blonde staring at him. Sam was taken now. "You should tell me if there's something going on."
Now Brittany wasn't sure what to say. She now had the perfect opportunity. Brittany set her gaze on Puck. "Would you excuse us for a moment?" Brittany asked, and he agreed. When he was gone, she looked back at Sam. "Um, Sam, there's something that I have to tell you. I am going to have a baby." Brittany knew that she should probably tell him it was his. "And you're the daddy." She added. That was when Sam's eyes rose to his hairline. Brittany could tell that she'd shocked him. "It must be magic." She concluded, shrugging her shoulders. Brittany had a very unique view of the world.
That was…. she had to be kidding, right? Sam's mouth moved, opening and closing in shock for a moment. "Um, what?" He finally said. Sam had a boyfriend now. He'd never thought that he'd date a guy, but he was. Sam really loved him. This could…. this could mess it all up with him. Sam didn't want that. This was finally a good relationship. Sam hadn't ever had one of those before. "You… please tell me that you're kidding." He said, hoping that that didn't sound accusatory. He didn't mean to. Accidents happened. Sam never had sex without a condom. It was very irresponsible. Sam was so nervous that he had to sit down. Sam sank into a chair across from Brittany, fiddling with his hands on the table. He didn't know what to do. They really couldn't have this baby, could they? Sam didn't want anything to get in the way of him and Blaine. He was thanking his lucky stars that Kurt had said no when Blaine asked him to marry him. Sam apparently had been in love with Blaine and hadn't known it. Things were finally going good. This was going to cause everything to derail. "Brittany… I have…. I have someone now. We're really happy. You… if you have this baby, it's going to mess everything up." Sam said, his heart pounding out of his chest. "I know abortion is wrong but you could give him up."
That Sam was seeing someone was a surprise. Brittany wondered why she hadn't heard anything about it. It must be a secret. But why would it be, unless it was a boy? Otherwise, why would he need to hide it? Brittany put on her best confused face. "Why doesn't everybody know, Sammy? Everyone knows that you like girls. You only hide things when you're embarrassed." Brittany's tone was matter of fact. She didn't wait for him to answer her. "You don't have to be in the baby's life. I am releasing you from your responsibilities. You're a good friend, Sam, but I'm not in love with you." She really wasn't. And she didn't want to raise the baby with him. Before she started to say anything more, she let out a gasp. The cafeteria was starting to buzz. She looked down, there was blood falling down her shapely legs. She immediately jumped up. Was she losing the baby? "Puck!" She called out, not seeing the hurt look on Sam's face. She didn't even think to ask Sam to go. She wanted Puck. He was her best friend now. Puck was by her side in a moment, leading her from the cafeteria. Brittany knew that he would know what to do. He would know how to help her. Her blue eyes were filling with tears, she was scared.
Hours later, and they had told Brittany she had lost her baby, and they were keeping her overnight for observation. Brittany was telling them she was 19 now and they didn't have to call her parents. She didn't know what to feel. She…. her problem was solved, but it was still really sad. Brittany wanted to call Santana. Tell her what was going on. She needed the other girl's support. As great as Puck was, he wasn't the Latina. Brittany was at the moment, buried under the hospital blankets, while Puck called Sam to tell him what had gone down. Brittany supposed that he should know. She just…. it really wasn't fair. The baby shouldn't lose its life because Brittany was stressed and confused. They had said that it had been from stress. So that meant it was her own fault. Brittany had killed her own baby! How could she have done this? She was crying into a tissue when Santana walked in, and Brittany's bright, wet blue eyes took her in. The Latina was really here. Was she really here for Britt?: Or had she come to go to Nationals? Maybe Brittany had forgot to tell her that they had lost. "San?" She asked, not knowing what else to say. She didn't think she could be the one to tell her that they'd lost at Nationals, and glee club was disbanding. It was way too much, especially with what had just happened. It was like magic, only it was bad, so dark, dark magic. Like Amy on Buffy.
"I'm so sorry, B." Santana started. And she was, honestly. She was here for glee, and Dani had come with her. Although, she wasn't sure what was going to happen when Dani and Brittany met. They were going to haves a lot of drama, Santana was sure. "I know that this must be awful for you." She wasn't sure what else to say, and told herself to stop thinking that now Brittany was no longer carrying Trouty's child. That wasn't the way to look at it and she knew that. She shouldn't want to be with Brittany anyway. She looked at the other girl nervously. Puckerman had called her. She was grateful to him for that. She really was. Santana would have been pissed if no one had told her about this. She moved to join Brittany, sitting next to her bed. Santana normally would have reached out and took her hand, but she didn't. She didn't want to give her any ideas. Dani wasn't here at the hospital, she was back at the Lopez homestead. Santana kept her gaze on Brittany. She hated how sad that Brittany looked right now. Brittany was so innocent and precious. Her world view was special. No one else saw the world like Brittany did. That's what Santana loved the most about her.
She was so focused on Santana being there that she barely heard the words that she said. Brittany was just so glad that Santana was here. Before the other girl could object, Brittany had leaned over and pressed her lips to the Latina's, kissing her with as much passion as she could muster. Brittany cupped the back of Santana's head, deepening the kiss. And she would bet both of her cats' lives that Santana was kissing her back. Brittany let her fingers play in the black hair that she had always loved to play with. Sweet lady kisses were one of her most favorite thing in the whole world. Only pulling back when she needed to breathe, Brittany looked at her. "I'm so glad that you're here….." She told her, as a tear slipped down her cheek. There was something about Santana being there that just made Brittany feel a million times better about all of it. Now she knew that things were going to be okay. Nothing was ever bleak when Santana was here. "I know it's all going to be okay now." The blonde said, nodding. She had never been more sure. "Did you really come here for me?" She asked, a lot of hope in her voice. She was unable to keep it out of her tone. She didn't think to ask why she had known, she was too glad that Santana was there. "I am very glad to see you." She added. "I love you." Brittany told her, meaning it.
First she was blown away by the kiss. Then she was shocked into silence with the rest of what Brittany had said. She shouldn't have been. No one could kiss like that if there weren't feelings involved. Quiet a moment, she finally spoke. "Um, Dani came with me to Lima, B." That was hard to say, especially after the kiss that had been laid on her. She wasn't sure if she could even remember Dani's name right then. Santana brushed her hand over her face, trying to formulate her thoughts. She wasn't sure that she could. It was all murky in her head at the moment. "You can't just kiss me, Britt." Especially whenever Brittany even so much as looked at her, she forgot everything. She'd once forgotten her locker combination. It was too hard to be around Brittany most of the time. "All I came to see you for was to make sure you were okay." Santana managed to get out, still trying to catch her breath. Right now she was flashing back to every moment of her relationship with Brittany. Good and bad. They had both peppered liberally into their history. Santana could feel tears gathering in her eyes. She shouldn't have come back here. This was proving it. "I have to go or I'm going to do something that I will regret."
"Please, Tana, don't go." Brittany pleaded, almost instantly. "Magic brought you here to me, you can't go." She pleaded. She was so scared and she needed her best friend. "Please, I need you. I lost my baby… only you can make it better." That was what the blonde truly believed, and she really hoped that her best friend would listen. She couldn't do this without her. "And I'm sure that Dani's great, but you know that you're not happy with her like you were with me." She hoped that that didn't sound insensitive, although she had meant every word. "You can't recreate what you and I had." Brittany had practiced this for when she saw Santana again.
It didn't help one bit when Brittany went there. Brittany was right, too, not that Santana had any intention of saying so out loud. She didn't want to give an inch. Plus Santana didn't like to lose. Never had. She wasn't good at it, either. "I'm sorry, B. You know that I care about you. A million times over. But I'm with Dani now. You have to respect that." Santana stood then. "If you want to talk, call me. But only if it's about the baby…. or glee, but not… about you and me." Santana finished, as she backed out of the room. She ran into Puckerman in the hall. Fuck. She hadn't expected that. He knew her, too, as well as Brittany did. He'd cut through all of her bullshit immediately.
"Lopez." Puck started. Then he took a good look at her. He could tell something was off. Plus, she had puffy lips and her hair was messed up. "What the fuck did you do to Brittany? You hurt my girl right now and I'll fuck you up. You're my bro, but I will." He told her. They had always been close. They had had their ups and downs, but he'd throw down for her and she would for him. "She is very vulnerable right now." Puck was clutching a bag from McDonalds for Brittany. She'd wanted comfort food and he couldn't refuse her. That was near impossible.
"Great loyalties, Puckerman." Santana immediately said, but her heart wasn't really in it. She agreed with him. Santana let out a breath. "That's why I'm leaving. And for the record, she kissed me." Puckerman was the only one besides Britt herself who would believe that. She gave him a pleading look. "Just let me go for now, Puckerman." Santana said, and met his hazel eyed gaze with her dark brown irises. He obliged, stepping aside. Letting out a sigh, she moved past him and straight for the exit. Her brain was already forming a plan about what to sing in glee club for the week. Santana didn't do repeats.
Time is going by so much faster than I
and I'm starting to regret not spending all of it with you
Now I'm wondering why, I've kept this bottled inside
So I'm starting to regret not telling all of this to you
So I haven't yet, I've gotta let you know
You're never gonna be alone
from this moment on, if you ever feel like letting go
I won't let you fall
you're never gonna be alone
I'll hold you till the hurt is gone
And now, as long as I can, I'm holding on with both hands
'Cause forever I believe that there's nothing I could need but you
So if I haven't yet I've gotta let you know
You've gotta live every single day like it's the only one
What if tomorrow never comes?
Don't let it slip away, could be the only one.
you know it's only just begun, every single day
Maybe our only one, what if tomorrow never comes?
Tomorrow never comes
Santana poured as much emotion into Never Gonna Be Alone as she could. The painful conversation with Dani had happened the night before. This was going to either be amazing or incredibly stupid. She'd put her money on either. When she was finished, she looked straight at Brittany. "B, that was for you. I… I'm sorry I was trying to fight it. Fight you." She said, her voice trembling. She had never been more terrified in her life. Things like this were always terrifying. "You are the only girl that I should want to be with. You're my best friend, and you always have been. No one will ever love me like you do. You are the love of my life." As she said the words, she knew how true that they were. "I want to be with you forever." Santana said, but stopped herself before she proposed. That would be incredibly stupid right now. "I promise that I will do my best to not ever hurt you again." She was crying now, and this was very real for her. She didn't get real like this. It was only with Brittany.
That song touched Brittany. Tears had pooled in her eyes. "Really, is that how you feel?" She asked, just like she had back when they had performed Landslide with Ms. Holliday. Santana nodded, and the blonde crossed the room, and threw her arms around the Latina, kissing her deeply. She knew it would all turn out okay now. She knew it in her heart.
Author's note: FINALLY. I literally started this fic months before 99 & 100, so it's been two years. I hope that ya'll liked. The title is from a song by Sara Barielles called Gravity. One of my faves. The song used is Never Gonna Be Alone, by Nickelback. Also a fave. Hope that you enjoyed. LONG LIVE BRITTANA!
