Title: Sayanara janai, Ja mata dake　さよならじゃない、じゃまただけ。
Author: Lost Flame
Warning: shonen ai and character death. Then again this is Banana Fish so none of this should be surprising.
I hope everyone enjoys. This was written a while ago and never posted. Yay massive fanfic dumps. Thank you for your time. Review if you liked it.
ありがとう、みんなさん。

"Eiji!" I heard, the familiar voice ringing loud and clear in my mind. But even as I looked frantically around for its owner I knew it was a futile task; Ash wasn't there. Shaking my head I tried to rid myself of this wishful delusion. Even though I was feeling a little light headed, I thought the idea of me hallucinating was a little ridiculous. Besides our trip had already threatened to be cancelled once today when the nurse discovered a slight increase in my temperature as we ran though a pre-discharge check up. If it hadn't been for much begging and promising to see the doctor upon touchdown in Japan I would still be up in that cramped hospital room.

"Eiji!!" This time the voice was much different and much easily located as I saw Sing jump onto a railing, waving his arms. "Ash says he can't wait to see you again." Something was wrong. Something in his eyes, something in my heart told me that something was dreadfully wrong. Maybe it was just my imagination and the fact that Ash had actually not bothered to show up. But I couldn't push the thought aside. Looking at the faces of all my friends I could tell they were thinking along the same lines.

"Ash told me to tell you, you gotta come back to America!!" That was a lie. They knew I knew it was a lie. But still I smiled.

"Thanks guys! I'll come back for sure!! I promise!" That was a lie. I knew they knew it was a lie. But still they smiled.

I sank back into the wheelchair as my side began to protest my movements. It had been hurting all morning but I thought nothing of it. It was probably contributed to the fact that I had been refused to take my pain medication this morning. This was potentially my last day in this city that had changed my life so drastically, there was no way I was going to spend it in a drug induced haze. No, I wanted to remember this, everything last thing. Besides, with one thought of Ash, and all I'd seen him endure, I knew I could live with this little pain. It was worth it to laugh and talk with everyone.

The taxi to take us to JFK airport arrived too soon but I my smiled never faltered as we waved goodbye to everyone. The drive to the airport felt like a walk down death row to me. It wasn't that I didn't wish to return to Japan, I missed it and my family greatly, but I didn't wish to leave without so much as a proper goodbye from the man who had, up to this point, been a such a constant in his life this past year. I spent the entire drive to the airport looking out my window, scanning the crowds for familiar blond hair and green eyes.

All too soon we were at the airport, then though security, finally arriving at the gate. With one last glace around, ridiculously hoping for the impossible, Ibe assisted me as we stood to board the plane. I grimaced as I held a hand over my chest, massaging the skin in a silly attempt to soothe the pain I was feeling. I had always thought heartache was supposed to be a figure of speech, talking about emotional pain, but right now it felt very real.

"Ash," I sighed, longingly. It physically hurt to be leaving like this but as I looked at Ibe I did my best to smile. He had been so patient with me though everything, so understanding with everything that had happened over the past year.

"You feeling okay?" Ibe asked as we took our seats. "You looked flushed?" He tried to put his hand to my forehead but I swatted the hand away.

I nodded without hesitance. "I'm fine, just tired." I may have been a little light headed but nothing serious. People don't die from a broken heart after all.

"You sure you're not in pain?" He could be more doting than my mother at times. And perhaps it was because that that good natured concern that I hated lying to him so much. So instead of denying it I just pointed to my heart, knowing he would understand and not press further. As was the case and we lapsed into silence for a while as passengers finished boarding and safety precautions here repeated over and over in different languages.

I was grateful for having a window seat as I got to watch the coming and going of a few planes. I couldn't believe how long ago it had been when I had been in one of those incoming flights. I wondered how many of the people currently coming in would have adventures like mine. How many would experiences so many things they had never felt before? How many would fall in love? I hoped many. How many would get hurt? I hoped few. How many would have to leave without a proper goodbye? I hoped none.

I must have been too silent for too long because I heard Ibe ask again, "You okay?"

"Yeah," I said. But I didn't stop. I wanted to tell someone about Ash. Tell a few of his stories and I knew Ibe would listen. I spoke for hours, telling as many stories as I could, crying and laughing, until I thought my body would simply fall over in fatigue.

The altitude and excitement mixed with exhaustion must have caught up with me because a while back my body had started to feel cold. Ibe had lent me his jacket and blanket but the chills still nipped at me. But still I talked, telling of Shorter and Sing and Alex and Kong. But mostly I talked of Ash. Ash and Halloween, Ash and food, Ash and books.

I probably would have talked the whole flight if Ibe hasn't told me I needed to rest. That my fever looked like it was getting worse and I shouldn't overexert myself. If he hadn't looked so worn out himself I might have argued but I figured he was probably more tired than I was. So instead I just whispered a simple 'thank you' as he drifted off. In return I got only an indistinct mumble.

I looked back out the window, far above the clouds. I flinched as I grasped my heat again. With no more tales to distract me I was unable to ignore the chest pain. And with no more reason to desire a clear mind I reached into my pocket and pulled out the pills I had been avoided up until this point. Pouring two into my hand I signaled a stewardess for a cup of water. The medication helped quickly enough and I leaned against the window as I felt my eye lids grow heavy with sleep.

"Ash," my words came out as no more than a whisper. "I shouldn't have taught you Sayonara. I should have just taught you Ja Mata. Ja Mata is a must better word." I couldn't suppress a small yawn. "Don't forget, this Japanese klutz is on your side, forever." With those words I finally allowed myself to succumb to sleep.

Later the doctors would tell Ibe and the Okumura family that it had been a blood stream infection that had led to the death of their boy. An unfortunate effect of the gunshot and perhaps the catheters used the hospital. The Okumuras would cry but Ibe would mumble under his breath that the infection that had killed Eiji was named Ash. Ibe would not cry then, he was too angry.

It would be the following week before Inspector Jenkins or Max called to inform him of Ash's death. Ibe would finally cry when he heard how close it would to Eiji own. 'Fitting' he would call it. It would be then that Ibe understood what he was to do, now that it was all over. His purpose after it all had ended. It would only be then that Ibe started to tell his stories.

To this point he would have refused to speak of anything that happened in New York but now he would tell all. The stories he had witnesses first hand but more importantly the stories Eiji had told him. He would talk for hours, to anyone who wished to listen, about Max and Kong, Skip and Shorter and Ash. He would speak of Ash almost as much as he spoke of Eiji, or maybe he spoke of Ash so much because he spoke of Eiji, after all it was hard to tell a story of one without mentioning the other.