Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

-Fan girl rant-
Eh...bare with me..
I'm currently in denial about the deaths that took place in the series so, for the purposes of this fanfic, none of that stuff happened, kay? ;)
Also, they never get the notebook back. So instead of crazy/phyco Light, he's cute/inocent Light.

The Death note cast is too serious, ne? I think it's time they cut loose a little... :) Let the random crack begin!

Questions. Everyone has them, and they can be extremely annoying. Especially if you don't have the answer, and come to realize you might never have it.

Now, Near is a extremely intelligent boy and hardly ever has this problem. When a questioning situation presents itself, he can always come up with a solution.

...Usually.

"I wanna love you but I better not touch"
"(Don't touch)"

But now he's wondering why in the hell Watari bought a karaoke machine at Light's will...

"I wanna hold ya but my senses tell me to stop"

...When he knew very well that three out of the four men he had given sake to, also had a low alcohol tolerance. And L, who could drink forever and not be effected, had gotten a hold of something that was most definitely taking it's toll on him.

This was a something he's sure he'd never know the answer to.

"I wanna kiss ya but I want it too much"
"(Too much)"

Mello, being about four inches away from his face, was singing. Very loudly. Matt was doing backup.

Near sunk a litter deeper into the couch he was currently sitting on. His position resembled that of L's, since he had both legs pressed against his chest instead of just one.

"I wanna taste ya but.."

The blond pointed accusingly at Near's mouth, stumbling a bit.

"you're lips are venomous posioooooon"

"Wooohooo!" Light clapped. He was standing on the other side of the room, next to L. Said detective was laughing crazily at something out the window. Though...as far as the white-clad genius could see, there was nothing there.

The beat of the song continued but Mello didn't finish singing. He was preoccupied by Matt who had decided, even in his drunken state, that Near had gotten enough attention. And they were in a make out session.

Which, for some reason, bothered Near in more ways then one.

'He wasn't singing to you.' He sulked momentarily before returning his gaze back to his mentor.

"And you're s- (hic) so annoying. You talk sooooo much. Comp- (hic) complain a lot as well." He was rambling and not maikng much sense, but Light was talking back with equaling slurred grammar.

"Yeah, well you're just weird! And, uh, look like a panda!"

"I do not res- (hic) resemble such an animal!"

"Ryuuzaki's a paaaandaaa." The brunette swayed while singing, bumping L.

"Stop that!"

"But just look at you! You're eyes 'er all big and blacksih, and you're hair! It's all fluffy! You're like a cute little panda cub!!" Light then aggressively glomped L, petting his hair slowly.

"Cuby, cuby, cuby..."

"Gah!" The older man was pushed down with, a very affectionate, Light on top of him. L's words came out fast and slurred as he yelled at him. Near couldn't understand what he was saying, but it seemed Light had scarred the hiccups out of him.

"I want chocolaaaaatte."

"I don't have any."

But Maaatttyyy." Mello was sprawled on the couch next to Near, and was whining to the other former Wammy child about his needs.

"I'll get some later, m'kay? Now stop bein' a baby." The redhead crossed his arms sloppily. Then carried his hammered-self over to the table where his smokes were, stepping over the other two that were still arguing on the floor.

"Neeaaarr."

Oh no.

"Yes, Mello?"

"I'm dizzy."

"That's to be expected."

"Nnn." The blond crawled over to the reserved boy and layed his head on his lap, forcing him to sit normally.

"Uh..Mello?" Hot. Burning hot. Yep, he was defiantly blushing. And with his face being so pale, there's no way to hide it. Great.

"Don't..feel..good." Mello murmured.

Then the weight on the couch shifted, and he looked up to see Matt sitting on the other side of him. They looked at eachother for a minute, before the gamer leaned his head on the thin shoulder of the white haired boy. He then drapped his arm around his chest.

"Comfy." The redhead sighed contently.

"...??" Okay, Near was not good at these kinds of situation. Not. Good.

He began inwardly panicking, then Mello mad a slight noise. It was...cute. He placed his hand cautiously on the leather back of the blond. Matt then snuggled him and sighed again.

Despite himself, the younger of the three smiled slightly.

Hm..yet another question he was unable to answer...

Why, even when they were younger and seemed to hate him, did Matt and Mello mean so much to him? Or better yet, why did he mean so much to them..?
He shook his head. If he were to question it too much...then it might all change, and he didn't want that.

He leaned his head on the gamer's, looking over to where L and Light where before. They were still there, only now they were laying side by side and were asleep. Ryuuzaki had a thumb between his lips and Light was using a nearby shoe as a pilow. Though Near didn't see how that would be comfortable.

The albino closed his eyes and smiled when he felt Matt tighten his grip on his shirt. Yeah, he supposed he could deal with this.

Thanks, Watari.

Song: Poison by Alice Cooper

-What happens when the DN characters get drunk? They get cuddly. :D
-Yes, yes, I know. The 'L looking like a panda' thing has been done several times, but L fans must think alike because I thought that before I read it on fan fictions or anything. L fangirls unite!! ;)
-Also, I know I should probably use 'actual' words like hug instead of glomp...but eh..oh well.

Enough rambling...I'll try updating everyday or at least every other day.

Reviews, as always, are welcome.