A/N - As promised for being so patient and waiting for me to be able to post again, here is the first chapter to a new story. Now I will be posting a new chapter to Coming Home this weekend once we've done one finally check my Beta and I. Thank you again for waiting so nicely everyone, this month has been madness and finally things this end seem to be calming down. Phew. This whole story is planned till the end and I can't wait to post more and see what you all think :) Please let me know what you think.

Anyway as always I own nothing.

BIG BETA PUFF LOVE!

The Governess

Prologue

The air around had grown chilled as the summer sun finished setting behind the London houses, the stars barely visible in the capital with its bright lights flooding the sky. Sirius sat there on a crooked old bench, barely holding together, in the overgrown forest that was the Garden of Grimmauld Place. Muggle bitter in hand, silently enjoying the way he knew his mother would have been disgusted had she seen him then and there, and unable to hold back the smile when he thought about how Nonnie would have chastised him for it. Then as quickly as the happy thought had made itself present in his mind, it left, leaving an unpleasant taste and painful ache.

He looked down at the bottle hanging between his fingers and couldn't help the deep sigh from sounding from his mouth, as that familiar pain suddenly seemed to overwhelm him. Bringing his hand up to his face, he rubbed his eyes in earnest, trying to discourage the tears that were trying to form, tears that he hadn't let fall over Merlin knew how many years, tears he refused to let fall.

The wind blew, stirring the fairy chimes hanging from the large willow, which seemed to thrive in the wilderness, one of the only things in the hell hole of a garden still there that gave him fond memories. The gentle chimes dancing across the breeze. He rested further in the bench allowing his head to fall back, his hands, with drink still firmly in their grasp, resting between his legs.

In his own little world of memories, he didn't hear the soft footsteps of his good friend tread across the green grass. "You alright Pad's?" asked Remus, startling Sirius.

"Damn it mate, don't do that. Be louder; make more noise when you're walking about in the dark."

Remus chuckled while softly toeing the ground, sliding his hands into his pockets, "Just for you I'll try," he said, an air of amusement to his tone. "Why you moping out here?"

"I'm not moping," scoffed Sirius, bringing his bottle to his lips and taking a long swig, ignoring when Remus gingerly sat next to him, the bench creaking in protest. Nothing was said between the two friends for a while, both enjoying the surprisingly tranquil sounds of the city at night filling the air; the fairy chimes mixing into the general buzz.

Sirius shifted slightly and released a deep sigh he seemed to have been holding on to, "It would have been the birthday soon, I don't know when but just sometime this month," he trailed off.

Remus put a comforting hand on his shoulder and gave it a gentle a squeeze. "How old now?" he asked.

"21. Coming up for 21. Just the two years before Harry," he finished though the lump in his throat made it difficult.

"I can't even begin to imagine just how difficult that thought must be for you," Remus paused for a moment, a question Sirius knew he wanted to ask on the tip of his tongue. "How are you finding it lately?" he finally managed.

Sirius finished the last of his bottle and placed the empty glass down on to the floor "Hard . . . really hard," he answered, tiredly rubbing his hands over his face.

"Pad's she's not Nonnie, we both know that. Nor even-"

"I know, I do but, she is so much like her. Looks, personality, the way she argues with me, her eyes. Everything is just so familiar that I can't help those thoughts from creeping in. There is no way it could be her and she is too young to be mine but I . . . " he trailed off, turning his gaze back up towards the night sky.

"But what?" encourage Remus.

"But I wish she was Nonnie, so much," he managed, his voice breaking and his eyes fixed on the handful of stars bright enough to be seen.

Remus turned his full attention towards his friend, manoeuvring carefully so not to aggravate the bench "Do you . . . do you have feelings for her? Hermione? Harry's friend, Hermione?"

"I don't know, honestly, I feel like I do because they are so alike, even down to the way they drink their tea - but then I'm reminded that she is similar in age to what my son or daughter would have been and it pushes that thoughts right out of the way . . . I'm not making sense, I know it," he finished with a frustrated groan.

"I understand though, what you're trying to say but, don't you think that maybe you should try to move on?" asked Remus cautiously playing with his hands nervously in his lap.

"I can't, I've tried, really tried but, there's just something stropping me and I wished I knew what it was holding me back. But, I don't..." said Sirius, his voice breaking with the flood of emotion that seemed to be overwhelming him.

"Pads . . . it's been a long time and, two wars. You can't say you haven't tried. You asked everyone, exhausted Andromeda for information, and it's the same every time. No one has seen her since you did that day."

Sirius nodded, sniffing back the tears clearly forming and roughly scrubbed at his eyes, the sounds of the fairy charms being his only comfort at that moment.