The Tie
Good morning, My Beloved Man
It is a beautiful morning, isn't it? I hope it is. You might have realized already that today I won't be waking up by your side. That when you open your eyes, I won't be there anymore. But please do not afraid. I've prepared your breakfast. Strawberry pancake and earl grey tea, you'd like that, would you Dear?
My dearest husband, the man of my life, there are things that I have to say to you. It was never my intention to leave you. I have no choice. The fact that I can't stay longer than I hoped I can be is killing me, especially when I do realize how much you care about me. The thing is, I only have eleven days to be with you. To live as your companion. I have no power whatsoever to extend it. I am so sorry. It is all beyond me.
My Love, I cannot express how much you mean to me. In the past few days we spent together has been the best days of my life. You know how proud I am to see you grow in such short period of time. I was so happy when you start to open up for me, for your father, for RFA. I'm so proud of every decision you made. I'm glad you can embrace every single emotion you felt inside you. It is okay to be emotional once in a while, babe. It is totally okay. Even now, if you're mad at me for leaving you, please express it. Don't bury it, don't suppress. Let it out. It will make you feel better. Ah, I may sound selfish. I broke your dam, and leave you alone like this. I'm sorry for being irresponsible. I'm sorry. Oh, sorry might not enough though.
Ah right darling, I know you hate wasting your time and energy in picking up ties for your suit every morning, so I took the liberty to arrange a schedule for your tie. It will be enough for the whole month. Then by the first day of the next month, you can repeat the cycle again. And if you somehow want to experiment it yourself, let me give you some tips. Striped shirt will go well with solid color tie or small patterned tie. Choose a bold and dark color when you want to look posh and serious. When you feel playful, choose some of the lighter color. When you got bored of striped shirt, try striped tie with solid color shirt. That will look refreshing.
Oh My, look at me talking like a fashion expert. Hahh... Dear, you know... I wish I could pick those ties for you myself. Every single morning. I want to tie it for you. I want to send you off to work with smile and a kiss on your cheek. I want to learn how to play piano while you're gone so that when you're home, you can lay down and listen to me playing. I want to see you drifted into sleep while listening to it. I want to kiss your sleeping eyes and brush your hair. Then in the morning, I want to wake up before you, prepare your breakfast, your suit, and again, pick a tie for you.
My Dearest, autumn will come soon. It's getting colder so I think you should wear something warmer whenever you go out. Please eat properly and don't drown yourself in too much work. Don't give Jaehee a hard time either. No more that 2 cat projects a year, okay? Please take care of your health. I made a scarf for you to wear when it gets too cold. I hope it can help you warm yourself. I'm not good at knitting but I've tried my best. Please don't compare it to your branded items. This one is priceless!
I guess that is all I have to say, I don't want to waste your time with reading a long letter. I hope you remember what I told you before. No matter how far we are apart, my heart is always be with you and I love you dearly. With all of my heart. So My Love, please, live on. Be happy. Be wise. Be the Jumin that I fell in love with. I love you, Jumin. And Happy Birthday.
END