A/N: Hey! Here's my next klaine one-shot. It's beautifully sad and I promise you that Blaine and Kurt end up together! That is not why this is also angst!
Enjoy!
Light In The Darkness
Blaine knew it was fate. It was an invisible line pulling him towards the most amazing thing that would come into his life and make it better. It was Kurt. But Kurt had a deathly secret.
I needed to get away. The yelling was just too much, and I knew what dad was like when he was angry and had had a few beers to drink. Not a good combination. I wished I could pull my mom away too but she was too dedicated to prove her point so I left her. I knew the fight was about me-they all were-and my sexuality, no matter how many times my mom would tell me 'it's not my fault'. Of course it was my fault. It's my fault dad wasn't the favourite at his work, it's my fault dad wasn't getting promoted or a raise, it's my fault my mom got peculiar stares from friends when they thought she was not looking as if to say 'how could she have raised a devil child?' and it's my fault my parents fight all, the, time. I wished my family could have been poorer, living in a small house where there was no yelling, just affection and help so no one could get hurt.
I didn't know where I was going when I drove around that day but after five minutes, I felt something. It was a tug at my heart as if a line had been reached and it needed to be followed. So I followed this unusual instinct and ended up at the Lima Bean. I happily went in and got a coffee since the stuff was like a massive stimulus to my body. I took a seat at my usual spot and just waited for that thing that was calling me.
I spent an hour there, and was ready to leave, when it finally happened. The sun caught on someone's spoon sending a bright light right into my eyes. I squinted my eyes and looked to the culprit before gasping in awe. There sat the most amazing and gorgeous boy I had ever seen. The first thing I noticed were his piercing ocean blue eyes that looked almost transparent, his skin was like those porcelain cat's that were used for decoration, his facial features were defined and strong but I felt like if I cradled that beautiful face in my hands, it could be as soft as clouds, and his brown hair was perfectly styled and no matter how much movement he made, it stayed flawless. The boy looked my age which made it even better and no matter how hard I tried to stay in my spot, I had to talk to this boy. It physically pained me not to.
I slowly made my way over and gave in inner sigh of relief when the boy looked up from his book and gave a dazzling small smile instead of looking at me like I was strange.
"Hi." I gasped out after a few moments.
"Hello," He replied effortlessly. His voice was unusually high pitched for a boy but it just made me fall for him more, he sounded like an angel. I wished I had the courage to just take a seat and ask him out but I knew my confidence didn't go that far. "If you want to sit down tell me your name." He said as if reading my thoughts. I gulped and held out my hand.
"I'm Blaine Anderson." When our hands shook I was amazed at just how soft his skin was. I slowly took a seat across from him.
"My name's Kurt Hummel." He closed his book and set it down allowing himself to be in the conversation fully.
"That's a gorgeous name." The words flew out without me realising and I was ready for an explosion but heard a high pitched giggle that caused Kurt's face to scrunch up adorably. I couldn't help but smile back.
"Thank you. Your name sounds to prim and proper, I'm sensing you have a wealthy family?"
"Not bad," I replied nodding my head. "My dad's a hard worker and my mom likes spending so he has to work really hard." Which means his never home and when he is his yelling, I though. I cursed internally when I saw realisation cross his face at the sadness I was hiding.
"There's sadness in your hazel eyes, it makes me sad. Why are you sad?" I gave a big sigh and found myself talking more than I should to someone I just met, but I felt like I could trust him. There was something in his eyes that showed understanding and reassurance.
"It's just that, my dad is never home and when he is his always yelling at me or my mom because we 'aren't there for him' and I think he blames my sexuality for a lot that goes wrong in his life. I think he was brought up in a homophobic environment and can't handle that his only son is gay." Kurt instantly moved his hands to grab mine and gave a quick squeeze.
"Blaine, even thought we only just met I can already tell that nothing bad happening to your family is your entire fault. Sure, the attitudes towards your family might be coursed by your guy preference but that doesn't make you less. Looking at you now I can see nothing but good things." He smiled kindly and I was happy that he never let go on my hands.
For the next few moments all we could do was stare into each other eyes. And okay, that may sounds weird to some people at how quick it happened, but when I see someone as amazing as Kurt Hummel, I don't care about how many days to wait. I believed in love at first sight and I was definitely already in love with Kurt Hummel. I just needed to know more.
"So tell my about yourself? Any horror stories?" At my second statement something dark flashed into his eyes but it was gone so quick I couldn't even remember if it were real.
"Me? Well I love fashion, I love to cook and I am never found near anything to do with sports," He gave his giggle and I watched as his cheeks flushed with a faint red of embarrassment. "I'm not much of a man. Thank gaga I'm gay right?" He laughed louder at his own joke which had me chuckling as well and screaming with happiness inside.
"Everyone has there own interests. I'm not very fashionable but I do enjoy looking through vouge. I'm actually a fan of football but I'd never play it."
And so it began, a two hour conversation about our interests, dislikes, favourite movies and books, and anything funny that happened around us. When we ran out of things to say I knew it was a good thing, not a bad thing. We had actually talked about everything in our lives which made my heart flutter. We talked as if we were old friends rekindling a friendship, by the end we talked as if we'd known each other for years.
At 6pm Kurt looked down to his watched and gave a polite curse.
"I, sadly, have to go now." He said looking as dejected as I felt.
"That's too bad," I looked down to my hands, which were still glued to Kurt's, and then back up, gaining courage. "Would you want to meet here tomorrow?" He gave a bright smile and nodded.
"Sure! We could meet at midday and have lunch here?" He suggested hopefully.
"That sounds great, I can't wait."
It was months after something, curious happened. During the four months of knowing him we became best friends but never anything more which frustrated me beyond belief. But I didn't want to ruin everything so I continued to listen to his stories about his family and friends and went over to his house to listen to show tunes and share our likes in vouge. He helped a lot with my issues with my parents and gave me the courage to talk to them about how I felt and I finally heard from my parents how they felt. My mom really didn't think it was my fault but my dad had said it was frustrating to work with people who didn't understand but he still loved me and wanted me to be happy, even if that meant liking boys.
It was late one Wednesday afternoon when I met his best friend Mercedes. It was after Kurt had suddenly left and we bumped into each other at the entrance. I recognised the African-American from Kurt's photos.
"I'm so sorry! Mercedes right? Kurt's told me so much about you." At the sound of Kurt's name sadness crossed her face.
"You knew my boo Kurt?" I furrowed my eyebrows.
"Yeah we're like best friends, I can't believe he hasn't introduced us." Without wanting to hear another world she held a hand up and stopped me.
"Look I don't know if this is some sick joke but you best be getting outta my face." With that she left me to ponder her unusual attitude.
I shook it off for Kurt's sake but a week later something else happened that just wasn't adding up. I stood by Kurt's bedroom window looking at the pictures on the windowsill while he stood at his closet looking for a scarf I just had to see.
"Who the hell are you?" I turned to find a big man with a green vest and baseball cap on his head. I knew it was Kurt's father.
"My name's Blaine, I'm friends with Kurt." I gave a smile which the man just nodded in sad understanding.
"He never mentioned you," he looked down as if to stop himself from crying before looking back up. "I don't know how you got in but I guess it's been hard for you also. I'll give you a few minutes to look at his photo then get the hell out of my house." The man left and I instantly turned to Kurt who looked stunned into silence.
"What was that about?" I asked with a slight laugh. Kurt slowly shook his head without closing his open mouth. He dropped whatever was in his hands and grabbed mine.
"We need to leave right now." He said quickly and quietly before leading us out the back door and down the street.
I was too in love with him to see the signs but after another month of knowing him there was finally that day when I got some answered I really didn't want to hear.
On the Saturday of a bright and sunny day I decided to take Kurt to the park I used to play at near McKinley High School. MY mom had always said if we didn't have as much money I would have gone there. I tried imagining what it was like but I could never picture it. As soon as we got out of the car and Kurt noticed the school, he froze. I waited a few minutes for him to come out of it but he stood completely still, staring at the school as if he was seeing a ghost.
"What's wrong?" I asked, giving a sigh of relief when he came back to life. His face was still horror stricken but he willingly let me lead him to the swings. We took a seat and I began to slowly swing, waiting for him to answer.
"I used to go to McKinley." He said finally, his voice lower and sadder than I'd ever heard it.
"Used to? What happened?" I looked ahead of me as I waited but I could hear no answers. When I turned my head I found Kurt's head down and silent tears streaming down his face. I instantly jumped off my swing and stopped his to kneel in front of him. I held his hand and used my other hand to wipe the tears from his face. "Hey, it's okay, you can trust me." He shook his head.
"I-I can't tell you." The thought of him not trusting me was like a dagger to my heart.
"Please Kurt? I'll keep it locked and I'll never tell a soul. You can trust me, please." I pleaded. He sniffed and slowly looked up and into my eyes with a half smile.
"I know I can trust you but, it's against the rules to tell someone you love." Another clue.
"Against the rules? You make it sound so serious." I had the nerve to chuckle which got me one of his famous glares and a slap to the back of the head.
"It's because it is serious." I immediately shut my mouth and lifted my hands to cradle his face.
"I'm sorry. Please tell me." I said softly looking deep into his eyes. He gave a deep sigh and told his horrific story.
"L-Last year I was a junior at McKinley, and I was in the glee club and, and I had amazing friends and a teacher that was always there to talk," he smiled at the mention of the teacher. I nodded my head and waited patiently. "Everything was amazing minus the Neanderthals that bullied me. They didn't like that I was out and proud of being gay, they pushed me and threw slushies but I took it," He faltered. "But one day when I'd had enough I cornered the meanest guy-David Karofsky-and tried to get him to tell me why he hated me so much…and he kissed me," He cried harder so I sat crossed legged and pulled him off the swing and pulled him into my lap. He pulled his legs up into a ball and rested his head on my chest while I wrapped my arms around him and soothingly pulled a hand through his hair.
"After that he threatened to kill me if I told anyone that he was a closeted gay and I agreed but I didn't feel safe. Our counsellor gave me a pamphlet to a school called Dalton but even before my dad drove me to check it out he said it was way to expensive and that I had to stay put."
"I went to Dalton." I said, wanting to give him a break, knowing it was difficult for him to say.
"When I first heard you say that I had wished that I had enough money to go. I think my story would be so much happier if I met you before the…" He paused.
"Before what? What happened next?"
"After a few months I thought it was better because Dave wasn't hurting me as much and he was keeping his distance but one day, when I was waiting at the football field for Finn he came out of nowhere and blind folded me and hit me so hard against my head I blacked out. When I came to I found myself tied to a tree a few blocks away from the school and he was standing in front of me with a baseball bat. He hit me once and accused me of telling his mom, who told her best friend, who told everyone else. But I didn't Blaine, I'd never tell someone something that wasn't allowed to me said!" He cried some more so I held him tighter, not liking this David at all. I also didn't like where the story was going, it sounded like Dave was killing him but that couldn't be right because Kurt was in his arms.
"No matter how hard I tried he wasn't buying it. Every time I talked, cried, or tried to reason he hit me. Some were harder than others but after hours of the torture and rope burn, it-it was too much. I closed my eyes from exhaustion and I heard him sigh and begin to untie me. I thought he'd let me go, as if the beating was just a warning. But he gave one final hit on my stomach, and it hurt. I knew he'd broken some ribs and I felt like my lungs were too small to go through with the pain.
"I tried to get him to take me to a doctor but he just threw the bat down and left me there in the dark and in the cold. I didn't know what to do, I was running out of breath and I knew if I didn't get help I was going to die. I grabbed my phone from my pocket and sent my dad a text to say what had happened and then rang 911 to get help but, while waiting I-I," He paused again as if the words were stuck in his throat. I placed a hand under his chin so he could look up at me.
"Just say it." I whispered and he shook his head.
"I-I can't, you won't be able to handle it and I'm going to have to leave you." He cried harder. I tried to hide my confusion and just waited quietly for the words.
"Blaine, I-I…I died."
The words were like an electric shot to my heart. They couldn't have been true, it was impossible. I could see him perfectly and touch him. But it did answer a few questions, and gave a hundred new ones.
"You're dead? You must be joking," I tried to find the amusement in his eyes but I was only met with sad and defeated ones. "This can't be true. If you're dead then how, why, what?"
"It was too much for my body Blaine, I didn't know it at the time but the hits were worse internally, they were slowly shutting my body down and by the time the ambulance came and tried giving me extra oxygen and comfort, it was too late."
"That's…so how are you here?" I asked trying all I could to not show just how freaked out I was.
"When I died, I never truly left the earth. My body is home but my soul isn't allowed up until something happened down here that was meant to happen, and it was you Blaine," I was ready to cut in but he didn't give me the chance to. "I never believed in heaven and hell but when I died I woke up somewhere I can't say and an angel said that I needed to stay put because someone would finally notice me and I had to meet them before I could be at peace. I waited for months, I followed my family and friends until I spotted you at the Lima Bean. The moment I saw you I knew it was you I knew it was you I had to meet. It was perfect when you talked to me first, I was shy." He looked up to me and smiled adoringly.
"So if I'm the thing, what do we have to do, not that I want you to go." Kurt took a deep breath and straightened up so we were face to face, staring directly into each others eyes.
"I, love you Blaine. And I know if I had gone to Dalton this story would be different, I'd be alive and we would have met and fallen in love and got married and I'd have the life I deserved, but I didn't." Nothing was said for a few moments. I watched as he grew a little transparent but I could still see and feel him. "All I have to do now is kiss you and I'm gone." He leaned in but I pulled back as far as I could, tears glistened in my eyes.
"But I don't want you to leave, not yet," I sobbed. "If you leave I'll have no one. I love you too Kurt, so much it hurts. I can't live without you, I won't." Kurt smiled and wiped my tears away.
"But I'm dead Blaine, I have to leave. If you don't kiss me I'll be on this earth and it'll be too painful because I don't belong. Eventually I'll be cast down into darkness because I didn't find my way." It was the horrible truth, I had to let him go.
"I'll miss you so, so much, don't forget me." I cried. He nodded and found tears falling down his face as well.
"Never." I wanted to say more but his lips found mine in the most soft, gentle, loving and saddest kiss in the world. It didn't last long enough for me but when we pulled away I watched as large white wings unfurled from Kurt's back and he slowly flew up and faded into the clouds.
I cried for weeks after that. I didn't want to go anywhere, see anyone. I just wanted to be left alone. I thought after time passed it would get better and I could move on but it got worse. I started forgetting the small things and just felt like half of me was missing. I tried to continue on, I really tried but nothing was working. I was just too miserable for myself, and the people around me.
Early Monday morning I wrote my parents and best friend's notes and left them on my bed. I grabbed the silver frame with Kurt's picture and made my way to the cemetery I knew Kurt was at. I found his gravestone and knelt in front of it with a small smile, already feeling better.
"Hey Kurt. Sorry I haven't been here to talk to you but, I've been so miserable I just thought going her would make me worse. I can't do it anymore, I can't live in a world where you don't exist. I feel like Juliet when Romeo shot himself because he thought Juliet was dead and then she shot herself after waking up and seeing him dead. It's a crazy kind of love but love nonetheless. It's true, pure love and I'm happy with the decision I've made. I'll see you soon." I placed the frame in front of me and pulled out my dad's handgun from my pocket. I took a few breaths and held the gun to my head. With one final tear, I closed my eyes and pulled the trigger.
When I woke up the first thing I felt was a weight in my hand. I opened my eyes and found Kurt next to me looking as beautiful as the first time I saw him.
"You couldn't wait and live for the both of us?"
"I wouldn't call what I was doing living." I laughed using my other hand to caress his face.
"Thanks for the speech, it was beautiful."
"It's all true. You brought meaning into my life and you pulled me out of the darkness and into the light, literally. And now we can be together forever." Kurt smiled brightly at that and he leaned down and gave me a slow kiss on the lips.
And finally, we were together. Like it was meant to be.
A/N: So what's the verdict? Gorgeously depressing right? I'd love to get feedback so please review! They make my day.
