Pairing: Santana/Rachel/Kurt

Rating: NC17

Warnings: Consensual somnophilia, dubcon.

Notes: Written for Catherine as part of my Tumblr follower milestone celebration, who asked for Kurcheltana established friends with benefits that like to help out with 'stress relief'. This is set in an AU of S5 and one where Kurt and Blaine never met in high school and the idea of a band hasn't yet come up, also everyone is bi.

...

"Sweet mother of…" Santana slammed the fridge door and held up the last can of Diet Coke that had a pink note stuck to it. "If Lady Hummel doesn't get some action soon, we're gonna starve."

"Santana," Rachel said as she smoothed her hair to one side and tied it into a loose ponytail, "He's gun-shy. New York is a big place. It's probably overwhelming when you've had no choice and now there's a veritable male buffet to consider."

"Whatever. I have it on good authority that he wants to swap spit with a hobbit in his mime class." Santana peeled off the tape holding the note to the can. She scoffed at the message promising a painful death, crumpled it up into a ball and let it bounce off the table.

"He told us that in confidence," Rachel reminded her.

"He told us that a month ago and still hasn't done anything about it." She slurped on the soda straight from the can, the bubbles tickling her upper lip. "I say we take care of business."

"Oh no, no. As much as I'd love to see Kurt go out with the mime guy, I'm not meddling in his love life. Not after last time."

Santana rolled her eyes. "Relax. I'm not asking you to use your terrible English accent again. That only resulted in one dozy hipster type who was too uptight about where their relationship was going after two dates. No, no. I'll let Hummel pick his own pony this time. But why not take him out for a ride first?" She glanced at her roommate who had stopped in surprise while pouring out her cereal. "God knows he needs it," she muttered. "He's gonna blow a gasket if he doesn't get laid."

"But…"

"What? It's not like we haven't done it before. We've taken care of him and you; you've taken care of me. So why don't we help him out? Ease his…load," she said with a smirk.

Rachel glanced at Kurt's closed curtain, her mouth twisting mischievously.

"I bet once he's more relaxed, he'll start cooking again, which, frankly, would be a godsend after the charcoaled chicken wings you tried to feed me last night."

"Hey! I wanted to make sure they were cooked through. I've never cooked chicken before!"

Santana shrugged and bopped Rachel on the nose. "I know, but being forced to live on take-out is exhausting and depressing." She took the cereal box from Rachel's hand and set it back down on the table and then grasped her roommate's hand, tugging her towards Kurt's bedroom. "Let's face it, he's gonna thank us afterwards. He did last time."

"That was different though."

"Yes but, even with two broken wrists, he wasn't this cranky." They stopped outside of Kurt's closed curtain with Santana pressed to Rachel's back. "So you wanna ride or you wanna lick?" Santana's delicate fingers slipped beneath her roommate's shortie pajama top, her long fingernails trailing up Rachel's smooth skin to find her breast. She squeezed the small mound and snorted in mild amusement as Rachel went weak at the knees. "I know how much you like to use your tongue but don't you want him? In here?" Her other hand cupped Rachel's pussy over her shorts, fingertips rubbing at her already stiff clit.

Rachel's hands found Santana's bare thighs behind her and slid upwards, the satin leopard print chemise offering no obstruction as she reached behind her to grasp at Santana's soft cheeks.

"Uh huh, you found my little secret," Santana whispered. "No. Panties." She mouthed at the sensitive skin behind her roommate's ear and repeated herself. "You gonna ride or lick?"

Rachel gasped as Santana's finger dug beneath the elastic of her panties and stroked her wet pussy. "Lick."

She heaved in another breath when Santana's fingers dipped inside her entrance, pumping in and out a few times before Santana pulled out and smeared her juices across Rachel's pouting mouth. Her roommate licked her lips quickly, grabbing at Santana's hand for another taste. "I rode him last time," she said before laving her tongue around the sticky fingers.

Santana cleared her throat and smiled at her roommate's enthusiasm. She pulled her hand away. With one fluid motion, she pulled her nightie over her head and let it fall to the floor. Rachel's eyes roamed across her tanned skin greedily, lingering at her waxed smooth mound until her own hands moved to strip herself of her pajama top, shorts and panties. She followed Santana closely as she slipped through the curtains and pulled back the top sheet that Kurt had been sleeping under.

"He looks so peaceful," Rachel whispered nervously.

"Wait 'til he comes, then he'll be positively purring."

Kurt shifted his head in his sleep and sighed. With one arm draped above his head on the pillow and the other on his chest, the coast clear was for Santana to carefully pull his boxer briefs down one inch at a time. She motioned to Rachel to get on the bed and bend his knees, making it easier to take the underwear all the way off.

Santana let Rachel get him hard, after all that was the easy bit and something that Kurt had previously enjoyed. Their roommate breathed deeply while his soft but thick cock was sucked gently. It quickly started to fill out, growing in length until Rachel could only take in the bulbous head. Santana rolled her eyes when Rachel looked to her for help but still stopped to stretch out a delicate finger and graze Kurt's sac with a long painted red nail as a reminder of what else their roommate liked.

Rachel's mouth twisted in a wicked smile as she suckled on the very tip of Kurt's cock. Her tongue lashed back and forth over his glans until pre-cum practically coursed out him and smeared across her top lip. She licked her way down his shaft, sucking hard at the base before taking one of Kurt's balls into her mouth and tickling it with her tongue. Kurt groaned in his sleep, hips shifting restlessly.

Santana rucked up her sleeping roommate's tank top, letting it bunch up at his armpits as her teeth grazed one of his pinked nipples. Kurt's head tossed to the side and he let out a soft moan. Santana snorted quietly with wicked delight, setting her lips to work, nursing at the stiffening tip. She slid her leg over his stomach, enjoying the feeling of showing her pussy off to Rachel right behind her and, if the impatient huff Rachel let out was any indication, she was eager to get more than just an eyeful.

Rachel's pointed little tongue quickly slipped along Santana's slit, waggling between the outer lips to find her slippery center. Santana muffled her curse against Kurt's chest. When Rachel's hands gripped at her ass cheeks, her roommate's nose pressing in beside Santana's swollen clit, Santana bit down on Kurt's collarbone eliciting a harsh gasp from him.

Both girls froze, waiting for confusion and annoyance to tumble out of their roommate's mouth but no comment came. Instead, Kurt exhaled heavily. His left hand found its way to his chest to pinch at the nipple Santana had teased moments earlier.

Santana glanced behind her and gave the nod. Rachel pumped his cock a few times and held him steady as Santana inched backward. Kurt's stomach tightened as Santana took the head of him inside her. She clenched down on him, kissing the tip with the slick, soft walls of her pussy. Between Kurt's legs, Rachel stifled a moan at the sight.

Rachel shifted up onto her knees and stoked up the inside Santana's thigh. She leaned in and kissed Santana's dusky pucker, her tongue darting out to tease as Santana wriggled at being tickled.

Kurt grumbled beneath them, hips bucking lazily, instinctively wanting to fuck. Santana let out a throaty laugh and settled herself against his hips, taking him all the way in. He moaned breathily, his hands twisting against the sheets.

Rachel moved to straddle Kurt's stomach, her eyes following Santana's hands as they squeezed at her own breasts. Rachel tugged one away, replacing it with her mouth. She suckled at the sweet meat as Santana started to rise and fall, Rachel's body following the movement, her wet pussy sliding against Kurt's impatient body.

Santana sped up, her bronzed ass bouncing in double time as Kurt's hands suddenly gripped at Rachel's waist.

"Uh. F…fuck."

"Sleeping Beauty's awake," Santana said with a grin as she ground down on Kurt's cock.

"Oh my god! What the…" Kurt's sleepy voice was thick with exasperation and arousal. "Ah …Fuck!?"

"Just giving you what you need until you can convince your cute mute Prince Charming to bend over."

Kurt shoved Rachel sideways, sending her sprawling across the bed covers. He sat up in a flash, his arm wrapping around Santana's waist as he sneered, "Shut it, Satan. He's got nothing to do with this."

He flipped her onto her back and pushed himself away, his slick cock twitching between his legs.

"But you've got to admit that this felt pretty damn good, huh?" She spread her legs and slipped her fingers into her pussy, pumping them quickly and revelling in the wet, sucking noises. Kurt rolled his eyes and huffed, ignoring Rachel's hands that had found their way back to his cock.

"C'mon, Kurt," Santana scoffed, watching her roommate's eyes roll back in his head as Rachel started to suck him. "Don't pretend we have to twist your arm."

Kurt spluttered in protest but his shoulders soon slumped. "You're just encouraging depravity and I won't stand for it," he whined. Rachel held his cock up while she lapped at his balls and Santana smirked as she shifted onto her knees, crawling to him and pushing him backward with a single fingertip. Rachel lined him up once more as Santana eased herself back down on his cock and Kurt moaned in acquiescence. "B-but... Oh! I- I will lie down for it."

"Just like you always do," Santana said with a wink to her co-conspirator as Rachel grinned in reply.

Fin