A/N: This is kind of a continuation piece for Leather. Sorry for the slight out of character Mello I've been writing. I like him all emotional like this. Also, I wanted to explore his friendship with Matt a little more than I have been, so Layla is only present in this on the last part.
Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note or any of its respective characters. However I do own the writing in this fiction and the situations depicted here. I also own the characters Layla Levandi and Mika Levandi. Please do not use them without my permission.
Just Because
"When was the last time you did anything, not for me or anyone else, just because."
- Jane's Addiction
"Come on Mello, the least you could do is get her a present." Matt exclaimed as he studied the newly bought video game case that now lay in his fingers.
Mello snorted, and focused instead on the road, "You know, as well as I that Layla and I don't do presents,"
Layla's birthday was in one day, and Mello was beginning to find that trying to get Matt out of the apartment was a bad idea. The red haired boy did nothing but play video games and occasionally watch television and Mello unfortunately picked today to try and attempt to remind his friend that there was another world outside of pixelated monsters and princesses. However, Matt must have been more in tune with reality than Mello thought, as he had conveniently remembered that Layla's birthday was tomorrow.
Matt let out a tiny sigh and placed the video back in the bag, "Come on now Mello, get her a present. She gets you one every year." The car suddenly took a sharp turn and Matt was thrown against the door. He glowered at the sniggering blond man and snorted, "Don't you try to change the subject. Get her something."
"Last year, she got me a box of chocolate and a cake." he said with a shrug, "I can get that any time of year."
"Its the thought that counts mate, the thought." he exclaimed.
Mello fished out a pack of cigarettes from his coat pocket and handed one to Matt, before lighting his own cigarette with the car's lighter, "Why do you care about Layla anyway?"
Sure, Matt had known Layla as long as Mello had, but he had never really formed a deep, meaningful friendship with her. Mello'd always assumed she'd been the person Matt would go to when he needed food, or a more even tempered companionship that Mello himself couldn't always provide. But, ever since he had gotten with Layla's older brother Mika he took it upon himself to offer Mello relationship advice.
Matt took a deep drag off of his cigarette and blew the smoke out of a small crack in the tinted window, "I just don't think you appreciate her is all. I was there with her when we were looking for you. You're all she could talk about...you're all she ever talks about."
Smoke blossomed out of Mello's nostrils and he sighed, "Ever since you got with her brother you've been ragging on me about my relationship with Layla. Look, I'm glad and shit you have someone who'll listen to you go on about Zelda but my relationship is just fine."
Matt held up his hands almost defensively, "Hey man, chill out. The only reason I've been bugging you about it is Mika asked me too. He thinks you don't care about her."
Layla's brother Mika was an up and coming rapper and to be honest, he and Mello didn't exactly see eye to eye on well, anything.
Mello bristled, his hands tightening on the steering wheel, "Mika can piss off."
Now however, Matt looked a little angry, his eyes flashing behind his goggles. "He's just worried about her, Mello. She's his sister."
Mello turned to glare at the redheaded man, "So? Where was he when we were in Wammy's? Or how about when Layla got kidnapped by Near? Oh no, he's up in Estonia becoming a musician, and not even a good one at that. And then, when he gets enough cash, he shows up in Los Angeles, on our doorstep, 'Hey baby sister! Haven't seen you in a good, oh, ten years but hello there!'"
Sometimes, Mello could be downright infuriating and Matt heaved a sigh as he threw himself against the leather seat of Mello's red Ferrari. Mika wasn't nearly as bad as Mello made him seem, he was really sweet and a hard worker when it came to anything he attempted in life. Matt had to respect that, and it was one of the things that had made him so attractive in the first place
The two of them drove in terse silence until Mello pulled into a small bakery. He stepped out of the car and Matt followed silently, knowing better than to test Mello's patience by staying in his seat.
When they strode in the cafe, Mello ordered two slices of chocolate cake and led Matt to a small table in the corner of the cafe. Matt sipped quietly at the soda he was given and sighed again. "Look, Mello. All I'm saying is ever since I got into this relationship with Mika I see you and Layla differently. The way you guys...act...is kind of...I dunno...messed up."
Mello's shoulders rose defensively and he took and angry gulp of the tea that was placed in front of him, "What's that supposed to mean?"
"The way you fight, its...cutthroat I guess. You aim for each other's weak spots. And, you hurt each other like its nothing. Its kind of frightening, because it looks like you don't care about each other and to be honest I can totally see why Mika's worried about Layla. She's weak. And, after the thing in your mafia hideout-"
"Shut the fuck up." Mello snarled, he didn't want to think about that, didn't want to remember those men touching her and kissing at her while she looked pleadingly at Mello with her grey cow eyes.
Matt fell silent and a waitress brought them two slices of chocolate cake.
The cake looked moist and Mello could smell the aroma of cocoa rising up to his nose, but all of a sudden he had lost his appetite. All he could think of was Layla's face, how her eyes pleaded with him seeming to say, "Please don't let them touch me."
Matt had eaten a few bites of the cake, and he vaguely wished he had his PSP in his hands to break the awkward silence between them. He looked up at Mello and was surprised to see the man's eyes clenched shut and his fists shaking beside the plate.
"Mello are you-"
"I let them touch her..."
Matt let out a small sigh, "Mello, what's done is done. All I was trying to say is be careful. Mika's on to you, and Layla didn't tell us exactly what happened when Mika saw the gash on her face but she let it slip that you took her to your mafia hideout."
Damn her, Mello thought, and damn Matt too.
She's looking at him, her eyes pleading and Mello is watching horrified inside as Avery pulls out his switchblade and slices her face. But he can't lose his resolve in front of these men, can't show that he cares or they will kill her out of spite.
"Mello, you haven't touched your cake." Matt said softly.
Mello stood so abruptly that the chair behind him clattered to the floor. Several of the bakery's patrons turn to gaze suspiciously at the two boys. The scarred man was practically running towards the door, and Matt hastily pulled out a five dollar bill which he placed on the table before following his friend out of the door, the little bell chiming in his wake.
"Mello, wait!" Matt called out, jogging behind Mello.
Mello had completely sidestepped his Ferrari and was now walking towards the junkyard that lay a few feet away from the cute little bakery, ruining its image. He thought vaguely that Layla was just like that bakery, cute and pristine, while Mello himself is the junkyard, filled with nothing but broken glass and broken dreams.
His rosary was thumping against his chest, and he contemplated ripping it off his neck. He felt so unworthy, so beyond the help of God. Matt had finally caught up to him, his chest heaving with the effort of running after Mello. He put a hand on Mello's shoulder, and his voice was strangely soothing, "Mello, it'll be okay."
The pistol was suddenly pressed hard against Matt's hair, pressing it down against his scalp. Mello's icy blue eyes looked almost as ragged as the burned side of his face and Matt swallowed slowly. There had only been two other incidents were Mello had pointed his gun at him and deep down, Matt knew Mello would never shoot him. But still, the cold feel of the metal against his skull made him nervous and his gloved hands twitched.
"Put the gun down Mello," he said softly, trying to mimic Layla's tone when she talked to Mello.
"It will never be okay again," Mello sneered, his hand shook so badly that the edge of Matt's hair was vibrating with the movement. "I let them touch her. I needed funding and they'd seen her with me one day when I was following a traitor. They said they'd give me funding if I'd bring her to them, to show them. I kept telling myself they just wanted to look at her." His voice spilled wildly from his lips, and Matt could detect several emotions in his tone, rage, anger, hurt, disappointment, and denial.
Matt tried to keep his voice even, "Its over, man, its over. She's still alive. She still loves you. Put the gun away."
Mello's mouth twitched and he began talking faster, his breath hitching with every word. "I knew it was all bullshit though. I knew it was a lie. I knew they'd try to fuck her. And when she struggled I yelled at her and she stopped like a dog. But when...when Avery tried to take off her pants she spit on him. He got angry, he took out a knife and cut her face open. And the whole time she's looking at me, like a dumb cow, begging me to save her, and I can't. I can't save her, because if I make one move they'll kill her just to spite me. And she's just looking at me and there's all this blood and all I can think is, how can she bear to look at me?"
There was a loud bang and Matt thought wildly for a moment that Mello had shot him. His hands reached up to feel his head and he realized Mello had taken the gun away. He turned, and was surprised to see Mello throwing glass bottles at a dumpster a few feet away in the junkyard. His rage seemed to spill through his skin as he threw the bottles against the dumpster. The glass shattered and small bits of glass flew through the air, a few slicing the side of Mello's face.
Finally, there are no more bottles to throw and Mello resorts to beating his fists against the dumpster, kicking it with his boots until it is severely dented. Then, he dropped to the ground and Matt realized in slight amazement that Mello was crying. He buried his head in his arms and Matt strode quietly to his side, sitting in silence beside his friend. Once his sobs had subsided, Mello fished a cigarette out of his breast pocket and inhaled deeply. Then, he passed the cigarette to Matt.
After about thirty minutes Matt stood, "Come on Mello, Layla's waiting for you I'm sure. I'll drive."
Mello wordlessly handed him the keys and Matt found himself glad that Mello would not be doing any of the driving. After all, he didn't want Mello to go into another rage and hit an old lady and her cat.
Once they were in the car, Mello pulled down the mirror and began picking broken glass out of his face. "Stop here," he said suddenly when Matt had driven past a grocery store. "I need some more chocolate bars."
They parked and Mello got out of the car wordlessly. Matt amused himself by looking at his newly bought video game until Mello opened the car door again. He tossed the box of chocolate in the backseat and placed a large pink dahlia on the dashboard.
"What's that?" Matt asked, pointing at the large pink flower, that seemed to bright for the interior of Mello's car.
Mello shook his head and snatched a chocolate bar from the back seat. "Its a flower you moron."
"Aw Mello, you're too kind." he teased.
Mello turned to glare at Matt, and shook his head, "Its for Layla, seeing as its her birthday tomorrow and all."
He said nothing else, and bit silently into his chocolate.
When they reached the apartment Matt turned, "Can I borrow the car? I want to see Mika tonight, I'll tell him to lay off you and Layla okay."
Mello nodded silently, but Matt could see the thanks in his eyes. He grabbed the box of chocolate then handed Mello the pink dahlia. "Tell Layla I said happy birthday." he called out as Mello walked away from the car. Mello raised a single hand in acknowledgment and strode into the apartment.
Once inside, Mello found Layla curled asleep on the couch. He bit his lip as his eyes trailed over the healing cut on her face and he swallowed hard. Then, he crouched down to caress her face and pepper kisses on her cheeks and eyelids.
Her nose twitched slightly and she opened her eyes blearily. "Mmm, Mello, what're you doing? She sounded annoyed but her fingers gave her away as they rose up to brush back locks of blond hair from his eyes.
Mello showed her the flower, letting it trail slowly on her collarbone. The corners of his mouth twitched as her grey eyes brightened considerably, "Its so pretty Mello!" she murmured softly, her fingers going out to stroke the soft petals.
"Happy birthday Kiska," he murmured against her ear and received a soft kiss in response.
Then, she set the flower on the coffee table, and wrapped her arms around him pulling him up onto the couch on top of her. Her arms were slightly damp from sleep and Mello sighed, burying his nose in her hair and enveloping himself in the scent of mint.
"I'm glad you're home." she murmured, and Mello felt his throat tighten, thinking mildly that he did not deserve to have someone to come home to.
"I was thinking we could go to park today maybe, or try and poke around Near's little base. We're bound to find something about Kira there."
Mello sighed and held her tight, not wanting to think about Kira at all, or much of anything for that matter. "I just want to be with you." he said softly, trying not to let any emotion shine through his voice. "I just want to be with you today."