Okaysis, so this is my first fic (On this account, I've written countless fics before), and I is soooo happy!!!! twirls I actually wrote this along time ago but then decided, what the heck, so now I'm posting it on Yaysis!!! I must warn you this is a Naruto parody on crack….and might suck a lot…. Naruto and the gang go to the physiatrist. Randomness crack ensues…

Warnings: Yaoi, bad humor, crack fic, language, and not sure but some violence… and death…but funny death…cause it's a comedy…lalala.. oh, and Sakura bashing. And a bit of Lee bashing (I knows. Gasp Lee bashing! Whatever shall we do! Ah suck it, don't attack me)

Parings: GaaNaru, SasuNaru, NejiNaru, HinNaru (Eh, I actually don't care about this one), onesided LeeSaku, mentioned InoShikaTem, KakaIru,

Disclaimer: If I actually owned this series, would I be writing crappy fanfics about it? My own story? I think not. And there would be an overload of hentai yaoi….

Randomness: I LIKE PIE AND CHOCOLATE AND DEATH!!!!

1: Naruto

"Um, Iruka-sensei, why are we doing this again?"

"Because you people need to get the things in your head straight."

Iruka was in a waiting room with Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, Lee, Neji, Ino, Shikamaru, Choji, Hinata, Gaara, and even Kakashi for the psychiatrist. (Yes, you heard me right, the psychiatrist. You can tell this is going to be a screwed up fic.) Sakura pouted and crossed her arms.

"But there is seriously nothing wrong with me! I'm perfect! Totally perfect! I'm better than any one else here! CHAA!!!!"

Iruka sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Exactly my point."

Sakura blushed and Ino laughed. Gaara spoke up.

"Why am I even here? I don't even know you 'Iruka-sensei'."

Iruka looked down at Gaara and stepped back a bit.

"Because from what I've heard, you need the most help."

Gaara glared at him and Iruka yelped. (I love you Gaara-kun! -) Naruto looked at Sasuke and laughed.

"I can tell why Sasuke-teme will need help!"

"Help so that I can get away from you."

Naruto glared at him.

"Teme."

"Dobe."

They both looked away. In reality, Sasuke loved Naruto. Along with Neji, Gaara, and Hinata. Yet Naruto is so dense he does not realize this.

"But more importantly, why am I here? I'm a sensei!"

Said Kakashi, pouting. Iruka sighed and put a hand on his shoulder.

"You also have problems."

"No I don't!"

Kakashi then took out 'Icha Icha Paradise' and read while giggling. Iruka sighed again. He looked at everyone and took out a piece of paper.

"Okay guys, here is the order. First Naruto, then Sasuke, Ino, Choji, Kakashi, Shikamaru, Sakura, Neji, Lee, Hinata, and then Gaara."

Kakashi turned to Iruka and took him aside.

"Oi, if you ah, don't make me have to go through this I will ah, give you something in 'return'."

Iruka blushed and closed his eyes.

"No Kakashi-kun, I will not admit to bribery."

"C'mon, it'll be fun!"

"No!!!!"

"Uzumaki Naruto! You're up!"

Naruto turned his head and sighed.

"I guess it's my turn…"

Hinata waved at him while blushing.

"G-good luck N-naruto-k-kun!"

He smiled back at her and she fainted. Shikamaru caught her and sighed.

"Sigh How troublesome."

Naruto walked into the room and it had many paintings on the wall. There was a fountain in the corner and one couch and chair. The doctor person was sitting in it.

"Let's see, Uzumaki Naruto, right?"

"Hai."

"Okay then, you can just lie down on the couch and answer a few things for me."

Naruto did as he was told and the doctor took out a notepad.

"Yosh, first things first, I am doctor Takani Mikado. Now, we will be going over your problems today. Was there anything wrong with your past?"

"Well, I never had any parents and nobody ever liked me. And it was all because some stupid 4th Hokage sealed the Kyuubi in me at birth to save the half destroyed village."

"……………Yosh…. Anyway, do you have any siblings?"

"Nope."

"Any family what so ever?"

"Nope."

"Well, didn't you live with somebody?"

"Nope."

"I see…"

He wrote a few things down on his pad and looked back up to Naruto.

"Are you on any diets or anything?"

"Well, I only ever eat ramen. Nothing else."

"Nothing else? Not even fruits or vegetables?"

"Well, there is some vegetable flavored ramen. I don't know about fruit flavors, but that would be cool if they had some!"

"I see…."

He wrote more things down.

"Do you have any goals in life?"

"To become the next Hokage so I can make people respect me!"

"Good, good… Now, is there anything troubling you?"

"Well, Sasuke-teme is always getting the attention and the girls so I get really mad! Then he always makes me look like a fool and he has to be so cool! It makes me so angry! And Sakura is always like 'Oh Sasu-kun! Oh Sasu-kun!" she never even looks at me and when she does it's always a menacing glare! Then, he always defeats the ninja dude and saves me on every mission! It's so annoying!"

"Okay, now I will test you a bit. What does this look like?"

Doctor Takani took out a weird messed up picture. Naruto squinted his eyes.

"Ummmm…. Me beating up Sasuke!"

He took out another one.

"Me eating ramen!"

"Me becoming Hokage!"

"Me eating more ramen!

"Another bowl of ramen! And Sasuke's paying!"

The doctor sighed and took out his watch.

"Your time is up. Please leave."

Naruto grinned and bounced up and down.

"Arigato! Arigato!!!!"

He then ran out without looking and banged into a wall. The doctor sighed.

"Uchiha Sasuke! You're next!

Me: So? You likie first chappie??? Huh???

Gaara: It sucked…

Me: O.O….cries in emo corner Hey Sasgay, what're you doing here?

Sasuke: DON'T CALL ME THAT!!! And I'm just here because I basically own the emo corners in the world.

Me: Ooooh!

Naruto: Sasuke-teme ur weird!!!

Sasuke: NO! COME BACK NARU-CHAN!!! runs after naru-chan

Neji: follows

Hinata: Hides behind corner

Gaara: Ur all retards. Especially u, who's writing this crack.

Me: dances happy dance Oh, and don't worry about flames, I will use them to heat my firery furnace of fun and flamingos and farms and-

Gaara: Go any farther with 'f's and you will have screwed urself over…

Me:….I write crap don't i?

R&R!!!! Anyone who does gets pie and chocolate!!!