Spoilers and Smuttiness ahead. This is rated M for Finn's creative language/thoughts and sexual content.

This is a companion 2 part one-shot to my on-going story, "I Finally Know Where My Heart Is," covering parts of Chapters 5, 6, 7, and 8. It is told from Finn's perspective. Some of the things Finn says/thinks, may make you want to throw things at him, but try to hear him out. He comes around in the end. If you have not read IFKWMHI, you can still read this and not be lost, but I encourage you to read both stories. That said, I wrote this story with tongue-in-cheek fun in mind. I really hope you like it. I'll stop blathering now...

As always, I own nothing but my own mistakes, for which I beg your pardon...

General Premise: Three months after the Season 3 Finale- Finn has just finished Basic Training in the Army and is visiting Rachel in New York City for the first time. Their relationship is a little strained after the whole joining the Army thing.

I Am Finn Hudson, Clueless Male- Part 1

So, here I was early in my first morning on leave after Basic Training, in the tiny New York City apartment of my hot fiance, who was snuggled next to me in her bed, dead to the world. I hadn't had sex (with her or anyone else) in over three months. Man, was I uncomfortable. She had on this little outfit that left virtually nothing to my imagination. She was all soft and warm- with her butt, and did she ever have a great butt, pressed against my crotch. Uncomfortable- understatement of the century- I was in agony. This was worse than when Drill Sgt. Gramble made us all go into the gas chamber for tear gas training after a huge lunch. Note to self: Twinkies do NOT taste so good on the way back up the second time. Now, I felt sort of guilty about comparing puking my guts out during tear gas training to having a raging hard on because Rachel Berry was so sexy.

I kind of, sort of understood where Rachel was coming from yesterday when she said we should not start having sex again right away during my visit. She used other words for sex like "being intimate" or "being together," but she made her point. I got that she was still pissed at me for joining the Army without telling her or even talking to her about it first. It had been kind of a douchey move. Well, more than kind of douchey... Very douchey... who was I kidding? King of the Douche Bags, here. Might as well rename my Prom King crown for that. But this was so hard, and I don't mean just mentally hard. When we'd been together in the biblical sense before the whole Army thing, it had been amazing, and she was still just so hot. Not to mention that I really loved her and would always love her. I totally understood her point, but that didn't mean I had to like it- just like the Army.

The whole army thing had not panned out at all the way I thought it would. I thought it'd be kind of cool, like a much harder version of Modern Warfare 3- But with real rifles (Never call your weapon a "gun" in Basic Training- I learned that the hard way!), and without the assholes who camp in one spot in the game all the time just to snipe your ass to get XP. Anyway, being in the army was not at all what I expected. It was kind of like super-hardcore summer football training, where the coaches are always pushing you and yelling at you and making you do lots of drills and shit. The Drill Sergeants were a lot like coaches except for one important thing: Coach Beiste or Mr. Shue would ride your ass to get you to do something, but you knew they cared about you, like whether you lived or died and stuff. The Army DS's were all about the yelling and making you do stuff, but no one gave a shit about you like they might have in high school. There certainly was a reason that a lot of the guys had a nickname for Fort Benning: Fort Bend Me Over. Basic Training had pretty much sucked rocks, but I hoped it was making me a better man. A man Rachel would be proud of; a man that would clear his dad's name; and a man with some kind of future that didn't include being a Lima Loser.

Back in the torture chamber that was Rachel's bedroom, I tried to shift away a little, so I wouldn't wake her up by um.. poking her. She had been awake in the night, just sitting in her chair next to the bed. Still not sure what that was about. She said something about me not wanting to marry her. To think she thought I wouldn't want to marry her! When I saw her when she met me in the airport yesterday, I had totally expected her to hand me back her engagement ring along with a hard, dramatic slap across my face. After the stunts I had pulled, I was the luckiest bastard in the world that this woman in my arms still wanted to marry me someday, no mistake! This brought me back to the problem at hand. Well, a little lower than my hand. It about killed me, but I gently edged from behind Rachel to stand beside her tiny bed. Glancing around her room for the first time, I took in the Broadway posters, and gold stars on the walls. I had to smile at the picture next to her bed of the two of us in our full prom attire complete with our crowns. That seemed a lifetime ago.

Mentally and physically shaking myself, I walked quietly out of her bedroom into the kitchen of her apartment- not a long trip. Coffee would be good. I knew Rachel didn't drink the stuff, but I had become addicted to it during Basic Training. While the coffee brewed, I found some cereal and milk and ate a couple of bowls. It tasted great! I'd have to be sure to replace it, so Santana wouldn't shiv me in my sleep. That girl was still scary- she sort of threatened to cut me up with a knife yesterday, if I did anything else to hurt Rachel. Of all the people Rachel could end up rooming with, I never would have guessed Santana. I was pretty sure the milk was Santana's; my vegan girlfriend wouldn't have milk on hand. As thoughts of Rachel filtered through my caffeinated brain, I decided a shower, a cold shower, might be in order.

Grabbing my gear, I headed for the bathroom. It was terrific to be able to take a shower without a bunch of other dudes standing around me like in Basic Training. I just stood in the spray for a few minutes, letting the water run over my tired muscles. Man, it felt good. Suddenly, not so much. Shit! That was really fucking hot! What the fuck? I quickly turned off the scalding water, hoping nothing was permanently damaged. Rachel had said not to turn on any other water in the apartment while someone was in the shower- something about the really old plumbing. She must have forgotten. Maybe she was still pissed at me.

Looking for a towel, and slinging it around my hips I opened the bathroom door, "Rach, what the hell?"

Oh- that explained it. There stood my step-brother, Kurt Hummel, next to the kitchen sink, coffee pot in hand, with a very sheepish look on his face. Should've known. Kurt had gotten into a fashion design school in New York. I'd been hoping I'd get to see him, maybe not in this way, but...Oh, well.

My gaze swiveled to Rachel, still barely dressed Rachel, who was standing next to Kurt, looking back at me. I almost turned around and went back for another cold shower. That little lacy tank top thing was... well, her boobs were smokin' in that. I prayed I wasn't making a visible tent under my towel, while I listened to Kurt and Rachel discuss plans for the day. Mailman! Mailman! Mailman! Arghh...

We had such an amazing day! Kurt, Rachel, and I went to the Theatre District and took in a matinee of Rock of Ages. It was awesome! Though, I couldn't help but imagine my little diva, who sat next to me holding my hand, up there on that stage belting out "Don't Stop Believin'" instead of the blonde actress, who, in my opinion wasn't nearly as talented. That song really brought back a lot of happy memories for me. I had loved singing it with Rachel and the rest of the New Directions during Regionals three years ago, and we had rocked it, even if we didn't win. I remembered I told Rachel I loved her for the first time just before we went on that day. All three of us must have been remembering singing it together, because I think we all three teared up a little-embarrassing.

After the show, Kurt left pretty quickly to go back to his apartment, but we made plans to meet up for brunch the next day. (Thank you, Grilled Cheesus! I loved my brother, but I really wanted time alone with my girl.) Rachel and I decided to walk back to her place in the Lower East Side. It was weird, because it was almost like when we were on our date before Nationals again- walking around New York, her holding my arm. It made me really sad for that time. That is, until it started pouring down raining.

I forgot Rachel couldn't run as fast as me, especially in those crazy shoes she liked to wear, so I ended up carrying her the last block to her apartment building. The Army PT really had paid off, she weighed like nothing compared to full battle gear and a rifle. We stood under the awning-thing in front of her building trying to drip dry a little. We were both pretty wet. She was still up in my arms, so I looked down to set her down, and there she was. She had on this pink dress that made her legs look really great, but at the moment it was her breasts that had all my attention. The wet cloth really highlighted her perky nipples, that were pressed into my chest. Oh, man ,not again- really? Mailman... Whatever. I gave up on that. I just had to kiss her.

After making out standing right on the sidewalk in front of her building, I decided it might be best to head for someplace under cover, so to speak. Kissing her like that was not something I wanted to do with other people around. Luckily no one had walked by, that I noticed, but I could've missed a lot with her tongue in my mouth.

We headed up the eight flights (thanks again Army PT!) of steps to her apartment. I tried really hard not to stare at her ass while we climbed all those steps. Damn mailman thing was not working at all anymore. I was in pretty bad shape by the time we reached her apartment door. She turned to look at me, and I just lost it. I pounced on her, is what I did. Kissing her while pressing her against her door with her feet not even touching the floor was ...WOW! Though I was a little surprised she didn't run away screaming, because she had to feel how turned on I was. She seemed to be really enjoying it, but I needed to be sure before I made a total ass of myself. This was Rachel- time to tell her how I was feeling.

I finally stumbled out with, "Rach, are you sure? Because if I... take you in there, I ...I don't think I'll be able to stop. I need you. I..." shutting my eyes tightly for a second (I'm such a noob!) and then opening them to look at her, " ...I want you so much."

At this point, I was physically shaking with need and emotions and lots of other stuff, and it was mortifying. I hoped she wouldn't notice, as I tried to smile down at her.

"Finn, you're trembling..." Well, shit. She noticed, "Are you cold? We should go in and get dried off..."

Time to nutt-up, Hudson! Luckily, I didn't say that part out loud, but I did let out a small gaspy laugh at my own expense, as I replied, "No, babe, I'm trembling because of you. You make me tremble."

Somehow admitting that to Rachel was not as humiliating as I thought it would be. It was actually a relief, and apparently she found it kind of hot because she basically attacked me, knocking me back a little as she twined herself around me. Oh, God, I loved this woman with all my soul.

She got out her keys and struggled to open her apartment door as I stood next to her in a stupor of lust. Snap out of it! I pulled myself together, and, mentally shrugging, scooped her up in my arms again, feeling all heroic as I strode through her dark apartment and into her bedroom. My woman would not trip over a chair in the dark on my watch, no sir.

Her bedroom was a little lighter because of the window. You could see it was still raining outside, so the light was kind of dim and watery, sort of romantic really, with just the sound of the rain. When I lowered Rachel to her feet, the entire length of her body brushed against mine. Kill me now- I was going to explode.

She stepped back a little (must be waiting for me to spontaneously combust?), but then she grabbed my plaid shirt and dragged it down my arms and off of me. She tugged my t-shirt over my head next and dropped it on the floor. Okay, I could play- I kicked off my shoes, as she, Sweet Grilled Cheesus!, unbuttoned my pants. They sunk low on my hips, so the only thing holding them up was my erection.

This wasn't right. Rachel had way too many clothes on. I raised my hands to push at the arms of her dress, praying it wasn't one of her complicated dresses that you needed a PhD in engineering to take off of her. Yes! The dress slid over her shoulders and down her arms and then over her hips relatively easily. Standing before me in her lacy pink panties and bra, she was well ...(use words, Finn!)... stunning. I was stunned. She was so beautiful, and she loved me, and she promised to marry me someday. I was suddenly just so humbled that I couldn't speak or even think much really.

Suddenly, she moved to stand on her toes, and her lips brushed along my collarbone and down my bare chest to place a kiss over my heart. I swallowed the lump in my throat and took a deep breath. Keep it together. Make this amazing for her. That's what matters, Hudson.

I reached for her, trying not to grab her, while my mouth sought her throat, and I kissed her there with open lips, "You taste like rain," I murmured, as I let out a ragged breath. (Not very original, but I was really distracted.) I continued kissing my way down her chest to where her heart should be. Hearts were kind of a thing with us. I placed a reverent, gentle kiss there.

I felt her gasp softly-through my lips that were still on her chest. She pushed me backwards onto her bed, as luck would have it. For a little thing, she was strong, but I'd always known that. She moved to stand between my splayed knees, as I lay there sprawled on my back looking up at her in awe. God, she was so sexy, a goddess among women. How I wanted her! I had never wanted anything in my life as much as I wanted her. I wasn't worthy. I had hurt her so badly by not talking to her about a major life decision. I had betrayed her trust by not trusting her and talking to her about joining the Army. Could she ever really forgive me and love me like before?

I felt more afraid than I had ever been in all my time in Basic Training (and that was saying something!), as I looked up into her beautiful, dark eyes, gleaming down at me in the dim light. Then- she smiled at me and nodded slightly, as if she understood what I was thinking and was answering my unspoken question. How was it she could always do that?- Know what I was thinking almost before I did. I would think on that later.

Right now, I was going to make love to her as I never had before. I was going to make her world shift on its axis- or die trying. She deserved that at the least. I curled to sit up from the bed, as I trailed the palms of both my hands up over the soft skin of her thighs, stomach, and breasts until I reached her shoulders. I gently pushed the straps of her bra off her shoulders and unhooked the clasp between her breasts. Resting my forehead between her lovely, naked breasts, I gritted my teeth against the waves of desire that surged through me. Taking a deep breath, I hooked my index fingers under the sides of her panties. I kissed each breast thoroughly, and then slowly trailed open-mouth kisses down her stomach as my fingers pulled her panties downward until they fell from her thighs.

Lowering my head until it was level with her ummm... lady parts, I kissed the scant, soft curls there. I gently slipped a finger to a spot that I remembered she had ordered me to pay attention to months before. Here my drummer's fingers found their advantage, as I gently stroked and tapped in rhythm. She groaned my name at this, and I was afraid her knees might give out again, so I nudged her with my head and hands until she was lying on her back on her bed.

We had not done this too much before, but I was going to try my best. I knelt between her knees at the edge of the bed. My head was swimming at the intoxicating scent that was pure Rachel, as I kissed my way up her inner thighs, and found her lady lips, sucking them gently into my mouth. Her hips bucked up, so that must be good for her. Using my tongue next, I repeatedly licked like I was eating the most delicious ice cream, (not too far from the mark, except she was much warmer than ice cream). She really liked that because her hands moved to the top of my head, and she tugged at my hair. She murmured in a throaty voice, "Oh, yessss...Finn, please..."

This was awesome! Encouraged by her response, I played around with my fingers and mouth, as she delighted me with my own private concert of moans and exclamations. Really glad Santana wasn't home, that's for sure. All too quickly she let out a keening wail that might have rattled the windows, I'm not sure. I felt her shudder beneath my lips, as her emmm.. . inner muscles tensed around my fingers. That was so cool! Wish I could do that, but wait... I'm a dude. So, that ladies and gentlemen, was how it was done... I felt so proud that I had done this for her, only for her.

I was probably grinning like an idiot when I looked up at her, but I just couldn't help it when I saw the very satisfied smile on her face. She totally surprised me next, though, when she insistently tugged me up her body, until I was lying on my side half over her. She kissed me deeply full on the mouth. Oh. Oh. My ….MAILMAN...All my needs, which I had kind of been trying to ignore, came hurtling back, as all the blood in my body seemed to rush southward, "Ummm...Rach...I really...errrr..."

"Yes, Finn, make love to me- now!" she grinned up at me, like a cat with cream.

"Oh. Okay. Let me just get a... I have some in my bag. Just in case. Not that I was assuming, but I was really hoping," I stammered.

"Oh, Finn. You are so adorable," she said as she giggled at me, and ruffled my hair, what was left of it anyway. I felt like a pet poodle. Oh, well. Glad Puck wasn't here. Yuck- why did I think of that?

That train of thought left the station in my head very rapidly, as Rachel murmured, "Well, since you were so kind and gave me such a lovely surprise, I feel I should do the same. I'm on the pill."

I didn't understand at first, but then my brain kicked into overdrive, "What? When? Why?" If there was some other dude I was going to kill his ass!

"I went on it before we were going to get married in June. Thought it would be a good idea, but then..." she shrugged, as I sighed heavily at what could have been, "Well, then it just made things easier for me. Also, I never really gave up on us, so unless you've been with some hussy in Georgia, that I need to worry about, we don't need what's in your bag." She smiled when she looked at me, but I could tell she was nervous about my answer to her teasing.

Okay, I really might actually sob now. "Rachel, there has been no one since you, and if I have anything to say about it, there never will be anyone else but you. Also, I passed my army physical with flying colors, so all's good in that ehrmm...area."

She listened to what I said and nodded thoughtfully. But what a buzz kill, though. Great job, Hudson!

She seemed to shake it off faster than I did, though, because she started running her fingers over my chest, "Can I just say that your ahh... new body is really hot, Finn. Of course, I've always considered you incredibly sexy, but now..." she playfully fanned herself, "...this morning in the towel, you were ...absolutely stunning."

My turn to grin like a cat. She thinks I'm "stunning." Yay, me!

"Well, Ms Rachel Berry, lucky for you, the feeling is sooo mutual," I leaned over her to kiss her on the lips.

To be continued in part 2 of 2...

Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it! Reviews appreciated.