This is for anti-twilight, and anti-Edward Cullen's sounds weird i know, but i made it up, really funny.
Edward; I am a monster Bella.
Bella; I know what you are.
Edward; say it out loud, say it.
Bella; Sparkly pixie!!
~Runs away from Edward~
Edward; what the hell?!
~Cops come~
Bella; there he is, the sparkly pixie.
~Bella points at Edward~
Edward; What are you doing Bella?
~Reaches out and touches arm~
Bella; Get away from me you sparkly freak!
~Runs to Jacob~
Jacob; you stay away from her.
Edward; No.
Jacob; Yes.
~Punches Edward in the face~
Cop Jim; Good job Jacob, now get Bella to safety, while we arrest this person thingy, if that what you could call it, it is hideous, so hard to look at you.
Edward; No! Bella I love you!
Bella; Hate you too Edward
~ Sticks out tongue~
Edward; ~in jail~
~Sigh~
I love you Bella.
Everyone else; PARTY TIME!!
~At Jacob house, parting~
Bella; Awesome party Jake, love it.
Jacob; need more beer
Emily; only if Edward was her it would be complete...
Sam; Are you a wolf or a blood sucking leech!?
Emily; Leech, can I see you out back for a minute?
Bella; Run, another sparkly Pixie! Call the police!
~Calls police~
-Jim; Yes?
-Bella; another Sparkly Pixie
-Jim; Oh my god, we will be right there!
Basically they arrest all of the vampires, I mean pixies, in twilight, except Alice, she is awesome! Yeah go ahead flame me, but review!