'Rachel Berry, will you marry me?'
I watched from behind the curtains, my hands clenching in the fabric. My heart sank. Rachel was staring at him, at Finn Hudson. Her mouth was hanging open slightly, her beautiful deep brown eyes big. I wished I was closer so I could see into them, see what she was feeling. It was the one thing I had always relied on. Anyone who knew Rachel and got the privilege of looking into her eyes would be able to see just what was going on in that brilliant mind of hers.
Rachel took a deep breath, undoubtedly to speak. I couldn't bear it. What if she said yes? I wouldn't be able to live with it. So I turned around and ran. I ran over the white rose I had brought for her.
Sobbing, I fell against the lockers in the dressing room. It hurt, I'd practically smashed myself into it, but I couldn't care less. Stupid Finn, stupid Rachel, stupid me, stupid rose! How could I've been so stupid? Though Rachel went to the auditorium nearly every day, how could I.. I mean, I couldn't have suspected that that F-Rex was going to propose, right? ...Right?
I even bought that rose, made it freaking thorn less.. Eternal love, silence or innocence, wistfulness, virtue, purity, secrecy, reverence and humility.. Make it thorn less and you can add love at first sight..
Yep, I'd been in love with Rachel freaking Berry every since the first day we went to this godforsaken school. Me, Quinn Fabray, in love with Rachel Berry. And now I sit here, wallowing in self pity. How pathetic am I?
I mean, we were never supposed to be together. I didn't want it. I dated Sam, Puck and, dare I say it, Finn for a reason. Or.. ugh, whatever.
I've gone over it a billion times. Why did you bully Rachel, Quinn? To get her attention. Yes, pathetic, I did you date those guys, Quinn? Because Rachel dated them. ..Minus Sam, but he was sort of cute. Then why did you cheat on Sam with.. barf.. Finn, Quinn? Because Finn had Rachel. My. Rachel.
At that, I began sobbing once again. I pulled my knees up and rested my head on them. It felt so heavy. Maybe I could just go to sleep now and never wake up. I didn't want to know her answer. I didn't want to see her walking in the choir room with that beautiful grin, telling us that she's e-engaged...
'Oh god, Rachel.. please don't!' I cried out.
'Don't what, Quinn?'
My head shot up and immediately, my eyes settled on a stunning brunette. Rachel Berry was standing in the doorway, one hand on its post, the other with a rose in her hand. My rose. Wait, what? Why did Rachel have my rose? God, she must've found it. I'm such an idiot! Maybe I could just run awa-
'Would you mind if I interrupted your mental debate to talk to you?' Rachel asked softly. I couldn't help it, the corners of my mouth curled up a little. I smiled, half, through my tears. Apparently Rachel took that as a yes because she sat down next to me. I looked at her, my eyes filling with tears once again. She was so beautiful, her head lowered as her slender fingers played with my rose.
'You know' she began and her voice made my heart jump. 'I found this in the auditorium. It's such a pretty rose but someone stepped on it.' Innocently, she looked up and met my eyes.
'Do you know who stepped on it, Quinn?'
I gulped. She knew. How could she know?
I ran a hand through my hair and took a deep breath. Suddenly I noticed dark streaks down Rachel's face. She had been crying. Her cheeks were puffy, and her eyes and nose were red. How could I've not seen that?
'R-Rachel... why have you been crying?' I whispered. Rachel managed to smile at me and it took my breath away. Her tanned hand moved up her leg and found mine on my knee. It sent a shiver through me. Rachel slowly intertwined our fingers and put our hands on her lap. She inhaled deeply and looked into my eyes.
'Finn' I flinched at his name, after which I inwardly cursed myself. 'proposed to me. And I said no.'
It took me a few seconds to process this. She said no? Why did she- how could she-
'Huh?'
Rachel chuckled, and again my heart decided to do a somersault, and placed her free hand over our intertwined hands. I looked at it and frowned.
'Why are you doing this?' I asked, creating a sound barely above a whisper. 'Why did you say no to... Finn?'
The brown haired beauty next to me shrugged and rested her head on my shoulder. I bit my bottom lip, staring at the lockers right across from me. I didn't understand, never had I been more confused. I felt Rachel sigh and softly squeezed her hand. From the corner of my eye, I could see her smile.
'I said no because I have my future, you know? I can't be on Broadway when I have a husband as a mechanic at Hummel Tires & Lube waiting for me in Lima, Ohio.' She said in one breath. Suddenly, I realized that Rachel was incredibly quiet. She wasn't ranting. Then I understood what she said. She said no because of her future. Because of Broadway. Of course, why else would she? Not because of you, Quinn, of course not.
I nodded gravely. I tried to free my hand without noticing, it was becoming painful. Not her holding my hand physically, more the whole I-love-you-but-you-don't-love-me-thing, you know?
But I failed. Even when I moved my hand slightly, Rachel lifted her head and looked at me. I looked away. She frowned and studied my face before speaking.
'Why did you say my name earlier?'
I shrugged. Why? Oh gosh, maybe because I'm desperately in love with you and was begging you not to marry your despicable boyfriend?
'Quinn?'
'I don't know, Rach...' I mumbled, still not facing her. Rachel nodded. She lifted the hand that had been on top and put it on my cheek. It felt as if someone had just put a hot iron on it, I was blushing immensely. I felt how Rachel turned my head until I was looking into those beautiful, deep brown orbs that I could just drown in.
'This is your rose, right?' she asked softly, nodding at the white rose in her lap. I hesitated but finally, nodded curtly. I couldn't really lie to her. Not really. Not anymore.
'Innocence or silence, wistfulness, secrecy, purity, virtue, humility, reverence and eternal love.' She said without hesitation. Then she added 'Lose the thorns and it also mean "love at first sight".'
My eyes widened. She knew. Oh god, I was dead. Yep, 100% dead.
'Quinn?'
I was still looking at her. No matter how much I wanted to look away, I couldn't. Only because that damn, soft, warm, perfect hand of hers was still on my cheek. Darn hand...
'Hmm..?'
Rachel licked her lips, something she did all the time. Usually she did it when she was nervous. Was she nervous? Or maybe just thirsty? Wait, thirsty meant she was sad. Why was she sad? Oh god, what had I done.
'I lied.'
I frowned and tilted my head a little to the left in confusion, asking for her to elaborate.
'I didn't just say no to him because of my future, Quinn.'
My frown deepened. That look in her eyes. I knew that look, I had seen it so many times in movies or, well, whenever I looked in the mirror and thought of her. That wasn't possible, it just wasn't.
'Do you know why I said no...?'
I shook my head briefly, still looking into her eyes. Only now I noticed how close our faces were and my heart stopped. Rachel licked her lips again and my grip on her hand tightened. The corners of her mouth tugged up just enough for me to see.
'I love you.'
Rachel had barely finished that... that... confession before her lips gently touched mine. My eyes closed. She was kissing me. Rachel Berry was kissing me!
But far too soon, she pulled away. I opened my eyes regrettably but couldn't help the small smile that crept upon my face when I saw Rachel's big, bright smile.
'Aren't you going to say it back?' she asked me, pouting. Immediately my heart started racing. She really said it, I hadn't dreamed it!
'I... I- Yes, yes, of course.' I stumbled. Rachel laughed, the most perfect sound in the world. I gently cupped her face in my hands and whispered those words to her. Those words that had lain on my lips since the moment I met her.
'I love you, Rachel Berry.'