Coast to coat with DAPHNE BLAKE!
Daphne: Hello and welcome to coast to coast! Today I'm with Captian Jack Sparrow!
(Audience applauds as Jack walks on stage)
Jack: Hello, luv, (kiss Daphne on the hand) I need a map.
Daphne: Why?
Jack: Because I'm lost in your eyes.
Daphne: Oh brother...
(Sits down)
Daphne: So you're into filming the forth film of pirates of the Caribbean?
Jack: Film? What are you talking about, woman!
Daphne: You're drunk, aren't you?
Jack: (tipsy) rum, you want some? Would you touch me so I can tell my friends I've been touched by an angel?
Daphne: Eeew, no! You smell!
Jack: I don't smell! (Sniffs) yeah, I guess I do.
Daphne: (trying to remain calm) Now for letters. Oh yeah... no letters. (Grumbles) Please send some letters in I would gratefully answer them!