by Hiryu Kaga
to Rusty Angels by Black Sabbath
They say you came from Heaven
But I know it's not the truth
Remember? The prettiest, most popular girl in school. That was you. You entered my life like a hurricane.
'Cause I don't think an angel
Could look nything like you
And you brought me only pain. My life had been terrible before, like Purgatory. You made it hell. You brought me more suffering than Angels, than Evangelion, than my father.
Your eyes are made from sapphires
And your heart is made from stone
I never wanted it this way. I never could hurt you... I wanted to be close to you. But you pushed me away, time after time, never accepting my friendship.
You've got to be the closest thing to hate
I've ever known
I could never admit how much I felt this.
I hate you. I hate you so much, I've started hating myself for it...all because of you.
And if I didn't know better I'd say
you had come alone
to the party
I'm not the only one you pushed away, but others don't mind. I do. That's why I hate you.
The light is always shining
But you swear that it's gone black
Whatever I did, you were always against me. You hated my friends, you hated me, you hated...her... Whenever I said "I'm sorry", you would call me a wimp.
The tide is always turning
But you're never looking back
You never changed for better, only for worse. You were arrogant and agressive. You even hated your family, even though you were lucky to have one, surrogate or not. I never had that luck. You were a bitch. A mean, psychotic bitch.
If I didn't know better I'd say
times were pretty bad
I don't know if you were afraid of anything and I didn't care before.
The gifts you bring are fire
And your dreams they turned to dust
Maybe you were. You definitely feared to lose. Is this why you hated me so much when you failed? I came to comfort you, to take you home. And you pushed me away again. When you told me how you hated me, I realized...that I felt the same way about you.
Your flying days are over
And your wings have turned to rust
It felt...good when you failed again. To see you being taught a lesson in humility. If not for...her..., I could have walked up to you when they brought you in, and laugh in your face.
If I didn't know better, I'd say
All you had is lost
Yes, I hate you. This feeling is so strong, I don't know if I could give it up for anything. When they found you unconscious and almost dead, I thought that...
No, I don't even understand it anymore. This hatred is too deep to even try and explain. It's jealousy, it's anger, it's longing.
If you swallow just a little pride
You might find a little love inside
Open up and let somebody in
All I wanted was some attention from you, something else than your hatred.
'Cause if you need somebody
You know it's not a sin
I hate you so much, that I can't live without you. Why couldn't you...
Why couldn't I see it?
Without even knowing it, I've passed that thin line. I need you, no matter if you hate me or not. What I feel is something more and less than hatred.
This is sick. You hate me, even now. I hate you... don't I?
I don't know anything anymore. I need you, that's all I can understand.
...
And all I can do now is sit here, hoping that you will wake up, hit me and call me an idiot, this one last time. And then I could tell you how I feel.
Rusty angels, they can't fly
Rusty angels, gonna die
...
You can't fly
Hiryu's Post-productive Rant:
I haven't got much to say. I just heard this song and instantly knew what to write. Simple, ne?
Anyways, R&R! Constructive criticisms welcome. If you want to give me flames, you know where you can shove them.
That would be all until my next fic, or Third Impact, whichever comes first. Knowing my writing skills and speed, I'll bet on TI... ;)
Tirade of a Demented Dragon
or
Hiryu's Unproductive Rant, for FFN only
Finally, after all the problems with uploading, I managed to put this up. I sure hope I won't get dressed down like the last time... I don't mind being criticized, but when someone says, "You shouldn't have written it", or even better: "Stop writing", I just want to personally tell that person what I think of them.
Okay, Kaga, you've gotten optimistic and reviewer-friendly again ;) , you better stop. Now.
This fic appeared courtesy of the 11th Angel, who actually stopped bugging FFN for a moment...