Chidsengan: Well, here's another fanfic from the worst author ever... me! Anyway, it was written for my best friend/adopted sister/ultimate genius-and-author-and-all-around-great-person, DragonSiren7 (AquaDragon78 on Wattpad). I'd also like to take this oppurtunity to say please read her writing instead of mine! It's genius! ^_^
I don't own Beyblade or the characters, however, I do own the plot. Also, this fanfic is completely random and nearly everyone's OOC, but I'm the worst writer ever, so... TT_TT
Anyway, I hope everyone else reading this enjoys! And DragonSiren7, I'm so sorry this isn't a better birthday present, but since we don't even live in the same state, I couldn't physically give you a birthday present! TT_TT I'm so sorry!
GOD Bless you, happy birthday and many more! We love you (like a sister) and hope that your birthday finds you well for plenty of years to come! ^_^ *holds out virtual birthday cake* Please, I beg you, enjoy! (if it's even possible since I'm such a pathetic writer TT_TT)
Note: It's unimportant, but for those of you reading that don't read my other fanfic, Adynama Tha Kerdisei: Weak Shall Win, the characters used in this fanfic were picked from the main characters in the ATK: WSW. It also has some humor that pertains to the other fanfic, but not so much that you won't understand it. So there's no need to read ATK: WSW. Thank you and I'm so sorry to bother you! ^_^
It was raining in a perfect, calming rhythm when Ryuga decided to finally go to sleep after a rigurous training routine with L-draggo.
The rain had actually started hours ago, but Ryuga had hardly noticed it in the slightest due to his training routine.
Now, Ryuga climbed into bed, exhuasted and dirty and planning to sleep in for the rest of the day...
It wasn't like he had any other plans for the day, anyway...
Just ones to sleep and sleep completely peacefully...
Sleep...
Sleep...
RING!
Ryuga jolted upright in bed at the noise with a start, his heart beating a mile-a-minute as he glared at his most recent enemy...
The fabled phone of doom.
Snarling, Ryuga picked up the phone roughly and growled into the receiver.
"What is it?"he asked gruffly.
As soon as he heard the far-too happy (and oblivious) voice from the other line, he cringed and immediately wanted to hang up the phone again.
"Heya, Ryuga! How are you doing?!"
Ryuga grumbled as he answered as levelly as he could.
"Gingka... it's five a.m. in the morning..."he informed the aggravating redhead at the other end (who was clearly out of his 'vacant-space-that-was-supposed-to-be-his-mind' for thinking it was alright to call Ryuga so early).
"So? Can't friends call eachother at any time of the day?"Gingka responded cheerfully.
"Gingka... we're not friends..."Ryuga said flatly.
Silence.
Then...
"Oh..."Gingka returned weakly.
That only lasted a moment, however.
"Anyway, maybe you'll be my friend after I tell you why I'm calling!"Gingka exclaimed hopefully, prompting an involuntary anime sweatdrop from Ryuga.
"I seriously doubt that."he said, completely deadpan."Now, will you just tell me why the heck you're calling already?"
"Come on, Ryuga! Don't tell me you didn't remember!"
"Remember WHAT?"Ryuga snapped, irritation seeping through his supposed-to-be-level tone of voice.
Gingka laughed heartily before answering.
"It's your BIRTHDAY!"he declared, a strange noise sounding over the phone like some sort of distorted trumpet; a noisemaker.
Ryuga quirked an eyebrow tiredly and somewhat curiously.
Birthday?
What the heck was Gingka trying to get at?
What birthday?
His...
Wait a second...
Sleepily, Ryuga glanced at the calender hanging above his nightstand and at the current date...
His birthday...
Ryuga's face dropped and his heart sank helplessly.
Gingka had always, ever since Ryuga had [unfortunately] known the cheerful, good-natured, highly aggravating at times Blader, Gingka had always had this bit of an obsession with people's birthdays... and every birthday, whomever's it was had to pay the price of Gingka's ideas of 'fun'...
For instance, the last time Benkei had had a birthday, Gingka had forced him to dress as a bull and give free rides to everyone.
Good thing Benkei was resiliant, was all Ryuga had to say in the matter...
"Gingka... I'm not interested in your crazy suggestions of torture for what to do for my 'birthday'..."Ryuga finally spoke, his voice completely void of any sort of emotion.
"But, Ryuga..."Gingka started, bewildered."What are you talking about ? Torture ? My ideas are fun!"
"I still have nightmares sometimes of Kyoya having to do the hula at his own party..."
"But, Ryuga-"
"Zip it, Gingka. I'm not interested in your insane, Koma Village, psuedo-fun birthday traditions..."
"But, Ryuga... they're not traditions! And I just-!"
"Sweet nightmares, Gingka..."
"Ryug-"
Before Gingka could say another word, Ryuga slammed the phone back down and sighed with a small smile of relief as he snuggled back into his blankets.
Beautiful sleep...
Peaceful sleep...
Beautiful, peaceful, uninterrupted-by-Gingka sleep...
RING!
Ryuga bolted up in his bed once again in panic; panting and frantic before turning to his phone with a deadly glare.
Snarling, he grabbed it in a violent flurish and spat into the receiver.
"Whoever you are, hang up now or suffer the consequences!"he ordered.
Silence followed his demand for a moment before yet another familiar voice spoke from the other line.
"Oh, Ryuga! Don't be like that! It's just me... Kenta!"
Silence.
"... like I care..."Ryuga finally said emotionlessly, ready to hang up the phone.
"Ryuga! That's no way to be on such a happy day! Which reminds me... happy birthday, Ryuga!"
"Whoop-dee-doo. Now leave me in peace..."
"But, Ryuga..."
"Can it, kid... take this as an order from the birthday boy. Leave me alone,"
"But Ryuuuuuugaaaaa!" Kenta whined. "I had everything all planned out! To start things off, I was going to be the first to tell you happy birthday! And then you'd say thank you and then we'd talk and have a lot of fun!"
Ryuga facepalmed.
Thank yous?
Talking?
Fun?
Just who did this kid think he was?
Spending time with that red-haired, burger-obsessed dunce had really dulled Kenta's sense, hadn't it?
"Look," he started again in unrestrained agitation. "First of all, I don't like talking. Second of all, I don't do fun. And for your information, you're not the first person to tell me happy birthday. Gingka called about five minutes ago and beat you to the punch,"
"WHAT?! HE DID?!" Kenta screeched on the other end of the line. "I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! EVERY YEAR!"
Ryuga remained unemotional on his end of the receiver.
"Anyway, enough whining," Kenta said, switching his tone of voice completely into one of cuteness and curiosity. "I wanted to know if Nile was there yet!"
Ryuga's right eyebrow quirked slightly.
"Why?" he asked suspiciously.
"No reason. Just because he was planning on surprising you by sneaking up on you with a spooky mask like he does to the rest of us every year. Don't you remember how you caught him trying to scare you last year?"
"I remember,"-Ryuga narrowed his eyes in a glare towards his slightly ajar bedroom door where Nile was waiting behind; clad in a spooky mask-"I just didn't think he'd be stupid enough to try it again!"
Hearing the growing agitation in Ryuga's voice, Nile side-stepped away from the door fearfully; he'd try again later.
"Aw, Ryuga, that's just mean," Kenta stated. "I'm sure Nile doesn't mean any harm by it. Where he's from in Africa, they do things like that all the time!"
"Yeah, I'm sure they do," Ryuga said gruffly. "I'm just trying to figure out how he manages to break into all of our houses every year so he can do that,"
"Maybe in Egypt they take lessons for that kind of thing?"
"Maybe not,"
"Who knows? Anyway, Ryuga, see how much fun we have when we talk? I could never talk like this with Gingka! He doesn't understand me as well as you do!"
Ryuga growled.
"Look, kid, I don't want to talk," he said tartly. "I just want to sleep. Why is that so hard for you to understand?"
"But Ryuga-"
"And I don't want to hear any whining, either. You're old enough to understand that I need my beauty sleep. So respect it. Alright?"
To his annoyance, Kenta only laughed giddily.
"What's so funny?" he asked flatly.
"N-nothing," Kenta giggled. "It's just... you said you needed your beauty sleep and you're a guy!"
Ryuga snarled under his breath.
"Nighty-night, kid," he mumbled, ready to hang the phone up again.
Kenta stopped chuckling immediately.
"NO! RYUGA! I'M SORRY! I-!"
Click.
Just like he'd done with Gingka, Ryuga hung up on the green-haired boy before he could get any farther.
Ah, silence.
Now, for sleep.
Non-Gingka, non-Kenta-interrupted sleep.
Sweet, beautiful slee-
RING!
"OH, COME ON!" Ryuga snapped, slamming his fists down on his pillow in a hissy fit.
With a furious growl, he snatched the phone and shouted into it.
"WHAT THE HECK DO YOU WANT, WHOEVER YOU ARE?!"
To his aggravation, an adorable giggle sounded from the other end, followed by an unbelievably-cutesy voice.
"Aw, come on, Ryugie... don't act like you don't know who it is! It's me! You're bestest ice cream buddy in the whole wide world!"
Ryuga 'anime sweatdropped' slightly.
"Yu?" he queried.
"Who else, Ryugie?"
Ryuga rubbed the bridge of his nose with his pointer finger and thumb tiredly.
"Look, I've already been bothered by Gingka and Kenta already. I really don't want to add you to the list," he said tartly. "Contrary to what people think, I prefer to NOT be mean to kids, alright? So hang up now or suffer the consequences,"
Yu sighed and Ryuga could imagine the pout he was wearing on the other end of the line.
"Alright, Ryugie," he said disheartenedly. "I just wanted to ask you if you wanted to hang out later and we could get some ice cream for your birthday like we did last year..."
Ryuga rolled his eyes.
"Yu, that was your birthday,"
"It was?"
"Yes. And if you remember correctly, I didn't willingly go with you. You attacked me with your bey, wrapped me in a sack, and then dragged me to the ice cream shop and chained me to the chair,"
"I did?"
"Yes,"
Silence.
"No, I'm pretty sure that was your birthday, Ryugie,"
Ryuga scowled.
"No, it wasn't," he stated.
"Yeah, it was," Yu insisted. "Just like the year before that when you dressed up in that burger costume and danced around!"
"Yu, that was GINGKA'S birthday and that was MADOKA who was dressed in that costume. Really, how did you even manage to get me mixed up with her?"
"... your name's both end in 'a'?"
Ryuga was left speechless.
"So, is that a yes for ice cream today?"
Instead of giving Yu and answer, the white-haired dragon blader slammed the phone down again.
Ugh... what didn't these people understand?, Ryuga couldn't help but wonder.
It was more than obvious that he didn't want them to wish him happy birthday... and it was just common sense that you didn't call someone THAT EARLY in the morning.
Come to think of it... since when did everyone know when his birthday was, anyway?
It had to have been thanks to that blabber-mouth, Gingka... or maybe Kenta had told them all.
Then again, he had plenty of enemies who'd love to get back at him for things he'd done to them in the past.
For all he knew, this phone-call circus could've been their idea of revenge.
RING!
Stiffening at the nerve-wracking noise, Ryuga turned with a glare towards his phone.
"You. Are. Evil!" he yelled at it.
Only more ringing answered his shouting.
After about twelve more rings, it became apparent that the phone didn't have any intentions of shutting up and Ryuga picked the phone up as calmly as he could.
"Hello... Ryuga speaking," he greeted through gritted teeth.
Silence.
"Ummm... hello?" Ryuga repeated cautiously.
There really wasn't anyone on the other end?
He could really go back to sleep without another interruption?
"B-B-B-BULL, RYUGA! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" a boisterous voice exclaimed out of the blue; making Ryuga all but jump out of his skin at the unexpected greeting.
Catching his breath, wide-eyed and frantic, Ryuga let the phone dangle by the cord in his hands as Benkei's voice continued to talk on the other end of the line.
"Uh, Ryuga?" he asked. "Hello... is anyone there? Hey, Ryuga buddy?"
Once he'd calmed down a tad, Ryuga shakily picked up to phone to his ear and responded.
"Benkei? What're you trying to do? Give me a heart attack?!" he panted, his heart still pounding in his chest threateningly.
Judging by the surprised gasp on the other end of the phone, that hadn't been Benkei's intention at all.
"No, Ryuga! I didn't want to give you a heart attack!" he said hurriedly. "I just wanted to call you and say happy birthday because of how nice you were to me on mine last year!"
Ryuga's prior shock subsided into curiosity at Benkei's statement.
"I was nice to you?" he queried. "On your birthday? Benkei, I don't even know when your birthday is. How could I-?"
"Oh, but you were nice to me! Super-nice! Almost as nice as Kyoya was!"
Ryuga's eyebrows quirked suspiciously.
Benkei had just used his name and Kyoya's in the same sentence as the word(s) 'super-nice'.
"Alright, bull-face, what're you getting at?" he asked in an interregating tone. "What's all this talk about Kyoya and I being nice to you on your birthday?"
Silence.
"Well don't you remember, Ryuga buddy?" Benkei screamed into the phone. "The presents you both gave me!"
Ryuga's mouth hung slack for a second.
"We gave you presents?" he questioned in disbelief.
Now he was sure Benkei had cracked.
"Yeah! I can't believe you don't remember it!" Benkei continued to ramble on. "Then again, you guys didn't exactly deliver the gifts personally, but you had the mailman drop it off, which I thought was a pretty smooth move on your parts to not look like you actually cared about when my birthday was and-"
"Wait wait wait wait... you mean you got a package?"
"Yep! And inside were your bey and Kyoya's! Leone and L-Drago!"-Ryuga's eyes widened as Benkei went on obliviously-"I thought it was so nice of you both to give me your beys and that! I mean, when I filled out that purchasing info on that website, I never thought you'd send me your actualy beys! But you did!"
"We did what?" Ryuga asked, then shook his head to clear his thoughts a little. "No, Benkei... Kyoya and I didn't send you our beys. You ordered those Hasbro toys modeled after our beys from that website yourself!"
To his surprise (and annoyance), however, Benkei only laughed.
"Aw, Ryuga, stop acting so gruff!" he said whimsically. "I know you're just trying to seem like you're all mean and couldn't care less about me, trust me, Kyoya acted the same way! But there's nothing wrong with admitting you're a softie deep down!"
Ryuga's blood boiled.
"I'm not a softie!" he said furiously. "And I didn't send you any birthday presents!"
"Sure you did! and I promise that one day, I'll return the favor! Sound good, Ryuga buddy?"
SLAM!
Ryuga practically broke the phone smashing it down on it's holder with both his hands, his golden eyes ablaze in anger and his breathing erratic in restrained rage.
Putting all his rage into his glare, he stared his phone down, just waiting for it to ring again.
"Go ahead," he growled at it, looking slightly insane. "Aren't you going to ring? Huh? Go ahead. I dare you. Ring again and just see what happens,"
After about five minutes of complete silence, however, he calmed down and turned over in his bed again.
Finally.
Some peace and-
RING!
"YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!" Ryuga screamed at the top of his lungs, yanking the phone out of it's holder and shaking it angrily.
He stopped momentarily when he saw the words displayed on the caller i.d. of the phone screen.
"New York City?" he murmured to himself. "Who the heck would-?"-he stopped midway in realization; his eyes widening in horror-"Oh, no! No no no no no no no! It better not be-"
Before he could say another word, his right thumb accidentially pressed down on the 'talk' button and three jovial voices came through the speaker.
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, RYUGA!" they exclaimed excitedly.
Ryuga scowled, trying his best to contain his anger.
Masamune, Zeo, and Toby.
Of course; those pesky American brats that annoyed him to all end.
He wanted nothing more than to click off the phone and get back to sleep, but his sense of decency reminded him that it was impolite to hang up on people once you'd already picked up the phone (even if it was unintentional).
Besides, the way things were going, the minute he hung up the phone it'd ring again and he'd be talking to a different loser, so what difference did it really make?
"Alright, you three, I'm tired, it's five o'clock in the morning where I am, and I just want to go to sleep. So whatever you have to say, make it quick, make it snappy, and avoid the sappy," he said roughly.
...
"Aw, how cool! That sentence rhymed!" he heard Toby say happily.
"As expected from everyone's favorite birthday boy!" Masamune exclaimed.
Ryuga sighed.
"Why are you guys being so friendly all of a sudden?" he queried tiredly.
"We are?" Toby asked innocently.
"Yeah, what're you talking about? This is how we always act!" Masamune agreed with a nervous chuckle.
Ryuga's right eye twitched angrily.
"Zeo, you're probably the most sane one out of your crazy friends, so I'll asl you this question in futile hopes that you won't dissapoint me," he said. "But just why are those two being so nice?"
Zeo clicked his tongue on the other end of the phone.
"Well... you see," he started cautiously. "They actually wanted to know if you could be our poster boy for the October month of Dungeon Gym's new calendar,"
Ryuga almost dropped the phone.
"They want to know what?!" he half-screamed, half-fainted.
"Aw, don't sound so surprised, Ryuga!" Masamune said. "We've actually had this idea for a while! See, Dungeon Gym decided that we could acquire more attention if we went ahead and released a calendar with famous blader's pictures in it for each month! Since your birthday's in October, we figured that this would be perfect!"
Ryuga's hands clenched into tight, furious fists.
"Look, you potato chip-eating egomaniac," he started.
"Masamune," Masamune corrected him. "My name's Masamune. Not potato chip-eating egomaniac,"
"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Ryuga said agitatedly. "Look, my point is, not only is that the stupidest idea I've ever heard and I don't want to be involved with it whatsoever, but I don't know a single person alive who would agree to that!"
"Oh, but plenty of other people have already!" Toby cut in. "Tsubasa, Gingka, Kenta, Yu, Benkei, Dynamis, Julian, Zeo, Masamune, and myself... even Kyoya agreed to it!"
"What?"
"You're the only person we're still waiting on!" Toby whined. "So please will you do it?"
"No," Ryuga was adamant.
"Pretty please?" Masamune prodded.
"No," Ryuga repeated flatly.
"Pretty please with a beyblade on top?" Zeo said.
"No!"
"Pretty please with a beyblade on top and a year's free pass to Dungeon Gym?"
"No! And that's- wait a second... when did COACH STEEL get here?!"
"I overheard your conversation and just couldn't help but say hi, too!" the Dungeon Gym coach said optimistically. "So what do you say? Will you do it?"
Ryuga growled.
"I said no," he stated with as much composure as he had left.
"Not even for a scooby snack?" Masamune pouted from the other line.
"NO!"
And with that, Ryuga banged the phone down once again; his head throbbing from lack of sleep, too much emotion, aggravating acquiantances, and one-too-many random Scooby-Doo refrences.
He glanced over at the clock on his nightstand exhaustedly.
5:50 a.m..
He groaned.
He'd already been at this for nearly an hour?
Somehow, it felt like longer.
With a sigh, he laid back down in his bed; aware that trying to get to be was probably practically futile, but hoping against all hope that it wasn't.
RING!
Then again, he should've known better and listened to logic and the laws of probability.
"If it's those brats from New York again, I'm going to personally fly there myself and obliterate their stupid gym," he growled/groaned, reaching around for the phone on his nightstand tiredly.
After he'd grabbed it, he turned onto his stomach and propped himself up with his elbows and held the phone so tightly in his hands that it almost cracked under the force of his grip.
"Listen," he spat into the receiver, "It doesn't matter if it's my birthday, it's way too early to call me and bother me! So whoever you are, leave me alone and hang up or face the consequences!"
"Yeesh! Calm down, Ryuga, it's only me, Madoka!"
Ryuga growled.
"What did I just say? I don't care!" he snarled.
"No, what you actually said was, and I quote: 'it doesn't matter if it's my birthday, it's way too early to call me and bother me! So whoever you are, leave me alone and hang up or face the consequences!'," Madoka corrected him studiously.
"Oh, good. Since it seems like you even memorized it, then I don't have to explain why I'm going to click this phone off in approximately two seconds,"
"Wait, Ryuga! Before you go, I have something I wanted to ask you!" Madoka said hastily before Ryuga could disconnect their conversation.
With a groan that sounded completely too wimpy for the dragon emperor, Ryuga answered in a whiny tone.
"What is it now?"
Even though he couldn't see her, judging by the small laugh she gave on the other end, Ryuga could imagine that she was smiling triumphantly.
"Well, it seems like I'm stumped on what kind of birthday card I should get for you," she stated.
"YOU CALLED ME UP AT THIS HOUR IN THE MORNING OVER A STUPID BIRTHDAY CARD?!"
"HEY! IT'S NOT STUPID!"
"YES, IT IS!"
"Whatever, grouchy. My point is, I wasn't sure if you liked humorous, poetic, or classic. And I know that we're having a big party later today and since I've never really been talented with birthday presents, I figured that at least the card should be-"
"Wait a second. What big party later are you talking about?"
Silence.
"Oopsie-daisy... that was supposed to be a surprise..." Madoka chuckled. "Ummm... forget I said anything about that and let's get back to the birthday card subject. So... what type of birthday card do you like?"
Click.
Ryuga hung up the phone once more, half-annoyed and half-asleep.
That had to have been one of the oddest conversations he'd ever had.
Well, aside from the other ones he'd been having today, that was.
Shaking his head slightly, he plopped down in his bed again and laid there for a couple minutes; happily counting beys until he was finally almost asleep again right before-
RING!
...
This was just getting inane.
"Yes?" he mumbled groggily, picking up the phone with a weary hand.
"Happy birthday! Is this Ryuga?" Teru's voice sounded from the other end of the phone.
"No, wrong number," Ryuga muttered tersely, ready to hang up on the other blader.
"Oh, don't be so mean, Ryuga! I know it's you! No one else could possibly be so gruff so late in the day!"
"Late?" Ryuga asked in shock, glancing at the clock next to him. "It's only 6:13 in the morning!"
"I know! That's late!" Teru exclaimed merrily (i.e. obliviously). "I always wake up at four every morning so I can accomplish more with my day!"
Crazy numbskull, Ryuga couldn't help but think.
"Anyway, back to you," Teru started enthusiastically. "I just wanted to ask if you'd accompany me to the Russian ballet today!"
Ryuga's eyes widened slightly.
"The... Russian... Ballet...?" he asked in horror, already invisioning the torment that he'd have to undergo. "And you're asking me to ACCOMPANY you? Don't you have a girlfriend or something like that?"
Teru only laughed.
"Oh, Ryuga, I'm asking you because I want to do something nice for you for your birthday!" he exclaimed. "Remember when it was my birthday last you and I called you up to ask you for twenty dollars?"
"Yeah, you needed to buy some groceries and you were dying of starvation," Ryuga recalled.
Teru's laugh turned nervous.
"Ah-ha-ha-ha... is THAT what I said to you?" he asked. "Wow... I didn't realize..."
"What? Wasn't that what you needed for?"
"Weeeeeeell... not exactly..."
"... Teru..."
"The truth is, I just needed the money because I was a teensy tad short on cash to buy a ticket to the ballet,"
"WHAT?! YOU SAID IT WAS FOR FOOD!"
"Yes, I know. I was afraid that you wouldn't give it to me otherwise. But that's all in the past. The point is..."-a delicate sob sounded from Teru's side of the phone-"No one's ever been so nice to me, and I've been meaning to return the favor, and I thought what better a time than your birthday! So I'm asking you to accompany me to the same thing that made me so happy... something I would've never experienced without you!"
"Teru, I wasn't being nice to you for the sake of being nice! I was doing something gracious because I'm not so heartless that I'd let someone starve! You don't need to repay me!"
Another sob.
"Oh, R-Ryuga... you're so kind!" he said. "You don't even want to accept my gift! You're the nicest person I've ever met!"
"N-no, Teru, you don't understand! I said you don't need to repay me because I wasn't intentionally being nice to you before! I was just being slightly less mean than I normally am! I-"
"It was all thanks to you that I was able to see the most beautiful ballet I've ever seen!" Teru continued crying, ignoring Ryuga completely. "Thank you... f-f-from the b-bottom of my h-heart! You, Ryuga, are the most caring person in the world!"
"Look, blondie, I already told you, it was UNINTENTIONAL. I didn't know you were going to spend that money I gave you on a ballet ticket!" he blinked in realization. "Wait a second... come to think of it... I want my money back!"
"And you'll be paid back when you see this ballet!" Teru cried. "I got us front-row seats! Isn't that exciting?!"
"ARE YOU CRAZY?! I DON'T EVEN LIKE BALLET! GO ASK TEAM LOVUSHKA OR SOMEBODY ELSE TO GO SEE IT, NOT ME!"
"Good-bye, Ryuga! Make sure you come dressed in something formal!"
"Teru, wait! I-!"
"Happy birthday, Ryuga!"
And with that, the line went dead.
Ryuga stared at the phone in his hands; his eyes wide from shock, fear, and paranoia.
"They're all insane," he said with a crazed chuckle. "That's what they are. And how come they're all calling at once? They planned this, didn't they? Yeah, that's what it is! They stalked me to make sure that I was going to bed and then they decided to call me to make sure my sleep would be interrupted! They're all stalkers! Stalkers, I tell you! Evil, psychotic, sleep-depriving stalkers!"
He glanced at the calendar that was posted on his wall with a look of insanity.
"This is all your fault," he concluded. "You and your stupid birthdays and holidays and dates... trying to have everyone celebrate and robbing me of my sleep! You knew this would happen, didn't you? Huh? Well, aren't you going to answer, you coward? I don't like that look you're giving me! And YOU!"-he glared at the phone again, waiting for it to ring-"You think you're so clever, don't you? Well, I've got news for you! You're not! Ring! I dare you! Go ahead! Ring! Do it! Bother me! Antagonize me! Ring! Ring! Ring, dang it! Ring!"
At that moment, Nile tip-toed into the room, an even scarier mask that he was originally going to spook Ryuga with before on his face; chuckling slightly.
Seeing Ryuga sitting on his bed, shaking the phone crazily and laughing like a lunatic (not to mention talking to the phone, too), however, he backed away with a petrified and uncertain expression on his face under the mask.
"I think I'll come back later..." he said to himself, tip-toeing out once again.
After he had and after about fifteen minutes of the phone not ringing, Ryuga finally calmed down, convinced his problems were finally over, and laid back down with a contented sigh.
"Ah," he said whimsically, a rare tone for him. "I never thought that phone would stop and I'd ever hear peace and quiet a-"
RING!
"DIE, YOU STUPID MECHANICAL DEVICE! DIE!" Ryuga screamed in complete anger, pouncing on the phone and his nightstand like some kind of starved, crazed, and rabid animal.
He knocked over the entire nightstand and everything else with it because of the force he'd went after the phone with, but he didn't seem to notice as he pressed the 'talk' button on the phone and yelled into it.
"WHOAREYOUANDJUSTWHATTHEHECKDOYOUWANTFROMMYLIFE?!" he shouted in a garbled jibberish, his words blending together.
"Um, hi, Ryuga. Happy birthday," he heard Klaus say at the other end.
Pulling the phone away from his ear for a second, Ryuga glanced down at the caller i.d. and saw the call was being made from some-place-he-couldn't-pronounce in Italy.
"Klaus, I though you were from Germany," he muttered, trying to regain whatever dignity he had left after screaming into the phone like a maniac. "It says on my caller i.d. that you're in... Gen... oo... ay...?"
"Genoa," Sophie's voice came through the line to correct him.
Ryuga's eyes widened.
"What? You're there, too?" he queried.
"And so am I. And Julian, too," Wales' voice stated next. "We just hopped on his private jet and are zooming over to see you for your birthday. And, really, is Genoa such a hard name to pronounce?"
Ryuga stifled a furious snarl.
"Look, Mr. Perfect-hair,"
"HEY! LEAVE MY HAIR OUT OF THIS!"
"Whatever. My point is, why are you all calling me so early? Are you insane? Don't answer that. Anyway, if it was just to say happy birthday, then get it over with already so I can get back to sleep,"
"Don't be so nasty, Ryuga," Julian said, cutting in on the line. "We were just trying to be nice,"
"Yeah, well, too many people have been being 'nice' today," Ryuga muttered. "So just say happy birthday already,"
"Don't go getting you're tiara in a twist just yet, Ryuga," Wales said.
"HEADPIECE," Ryuga corrected tartly.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever. Look, our point is since it's your birthday, the Team Excalibur wants a hundred bucks from you,"
Ryuga blinked in disbelief.
"What?" he asked flatly.
"Well, you know that old birthday tradition," Sophie started innocently. "You give presents on a birthday,"
"Right," Klaus agreed. "So we thought we'd ask you for a hundred bucks,"
Ryuga glared.
"No," he said plainly.
"But why not?" that was Julian. "It's your birthday, so you should give us a present! It's tradition!"
"No, that's not how it works. Maybe in Europe, but where I'm from, you're the ones who give me presents. Not the other way around. And besides,"-he pointed at the phone as if pointing at Julian-"Aren't you rich? What're you asking me for a hundred bucks for?"
Julian chuckled nervously.
"Well, you see," he said. "It's kind of a long story. But, in short, Sophie spilled some juice on this designer suit I borrowed and then Wales tried to get it out with some bleach but then the bleach ruined the color of the suit and then when Klaus tried washing it out the suit ripped so now we have to pay the designer back for the suit. But we're... about four hundred dollars short. So if you gave us all a hundred dollars each, then we'd be alright,"
"But don't worry," Sophie added. "We still have presents for you, too!"
"So what do you say?" Klaus asked hopefully.
Silence.
"No way," Ryuga said.
Team Excalibur whined as the white-haired boy continued.
"And I don't want your presents," he said flatly. "Knowing how pathetic you guys are, you'd probably give me a plate of pasta, a miniature model of the Eiffel Tower, lederhosen, and some chinsy hair products,"
"How did he know?" Sophie breathed in disbelief.
"Hey, that's not very nice, Ryuga!" Wales screamed at him. "Well, just for that little smart-aleck comment, I'm not going to let you give us that money that we asked you for, how's that? Hmmm? Hurts, doesn't it? Stinks to be you,"
Ryuga blinked unemotionally.
"Yeah, poor me," he said sarcastically.
"HEY! DO I DETECT SARCASM?"
"Definitely,"
"WHAT?!"
"Nighty-night, Team Extra-crazy,"
Before they could say anything else, Ryuga hung up the phone coolly, laying back down for what felt like the hundreth time since he'd been trying to sleep.
Growling, he turned over on his side, desperately trying to keep his rage at bay when...
RING!
"YOU'VE RUNG FOR THE LAST TIME!" Ryuga screamed, attacking the phone and toppling out of his bed; tangled in his gold, bey-patterned bed sheets as he did.
He was still wrestling to pry himself out of the bedding when he answered the phone call, sounding much more rough than even he'd hoped to.
"WHAT IS IT NOW?!" Ryuga shouted furiously, practically strangling the phone in his hands.
Quiet.
"Ummm... happy birthday, Ryuga?" came the petrified voice on the other end of the phone.
Recognizing the voice, Ryuga calmed down slightly and released the breath he'd been unintentionally holding.
"Oh, it's you, Tsubasa," he muttered. "Well, what do you want? Unlike those other losers you hang out with, I know you wouldn't call me for no apparent reason... I think. So what's the matter?"
At least if it was Tsubasa, Ryuga might've been able to have a semi-sane conversation...
... or, at least, that's what he'd thought before Tsubasa started talking.
"Well, you see, I have the funniest story," the silver-haired boy chuckled on the other end of the phone. "I went out to have dinner with Ryutaro and Dynamis to talk over what we should get you for your birthday. So we went to this restuarant with really good prices. Unfortunately, as soon as we got our fortune cookies, they became convinced that those fortunes were fortunes for this next year of your life and then they read them in th car and the car crashed into a lightpole and then-"
"Tsubasa," Ryuga muttered.
"Yes?"
"Get to the point,"
Tsubasa hesitated.
"No... not on your birthday. I'd hate to trouble you, and-"
"Tsubasa. I'm already troubled by the fact that Ryutaro and Dynamis even know when my birthday is. Nothing else can possibly trouble me more. Now, what's wrong?"
More silence.
"Ummm... according to Ryutaro, you'll be close to being crushed by a falling piano and be saved by Aguma," Tsubasa said evasively.
Ryuga blinked blankly.
"... and...?" he prodded.
"And according to Dynamis, in the course of four months, you'll fly to Jupiter and discover a new race of gorillas,"
Another blink.
"... and...?"
"... and your hair gel will be misplaced sometime soon,"
Blink.
Blink.
Blink.
"... is that all...?" Ryuga queried.
Tsubasa chuckled nervously.
"Yeah, that's it! Don't worry about me! I'm just stuck here with Ryutaro and Dynamis and we're having a great time! We're hanging out with the rats and these men dressed in black ski masks are backing us into a corner and-!"
"You're stranded in a seedy part of town, aren't you?" Ryuga queried blandly.
Quiet.
"Yes..." Tsubasa finally admitted. "And we're low on cash. I was wondering if you could maybe pay for a taxi and then at some later date I could-"
"No," Ryuga said flatly.
"But, Ryuga-!"
"Nope,"
"But we're in trouble!"
"Tootles,"
"Ryu-!"
Leaving it at that, Ryuga hung up the phone and snuggled back into his bed.
Maybe he was being a little mean, but he couldn't help it.
He needed some sleep; some nice, undisturbed, peaceful sleep.
That was really all he wanted for his birthday.
RING!
"GO AWAY!" he yelled in unabashed rage into the phone.
To his suprise and dismay, a very familiar chuckle was heard on the other end of the phone.
He mentally facepalmed.
"No," he moaned tiredly. "No. Not you. Anyone but-"
"Happy birthday, Master Ryuga! And might I be the first to have the pleasure of wishing you many more!"
...
Doji.
Why did it have to be Doji?
"Let me alone, you back-stabbing lunatic," Ryuga snarled viciously.
Just when he was about to hang up the phone, Doji continued.
"'Back-stabbing lunatic'? Come now, Master Ryuga. Do you even know who you're talking to?"
"Doji, if you don't get off this line right now, I'll personally hunt you down and use all my bey's special moves against you at once," he threatened, his voice somewhere between growling and seething.
"Oh, so you do know who it is," Doji went on, ignoring Ryuga's threat completely. "But you're still treating me so mean? Why? And after all I've done for you?"
"All you've ever done for me was stab me in the back repeatedly and act like a lunatic. Hence the 'back-stabbing lunatic' insult earlier,"
"But Master Ryuga, is that any way to treat someone who just called to wish you happy birthday? And after all the trouble I went through to attain your phone number, too,"
"Look, Doji, if you don't hang up right now, I'll-"-he stopped-"Wait a second... how did you get this number? I can understand everyone else, maybe, but you? Just how did you-?"
"Surprised? Well, it was actually quite simple after I managed to blader-nap everyone who knows you and threaten them into telling me,"
"YOU WHAT?!"
"Eventually it was that glasses-wearing kid, Yuki, I think, who told me,"
"He... told you?"
Add one Yuki Mizusawa to Ryuga's 'you're going to pay' list.
"Yes, he finally did after I tickled him with a feather machine. I was happier that it worked better than the hot coals method,"
"WHAT?!"
"I know, I'm a genius. You don't have to say it,"
"No, I was going to say you're crazy!" Ryuga shouted.
"Oh, lighten up." Doji laughed. "It was all in good fun. In any event, I finally had your phone number, so I just had to go ahead and wish you happy birthday,"
Ryuga sighed irritably, obviously not in the mood for Doji's antics.
"Well, you did," he snapped. "So bye-bye,"
"Oh, but that's not all, Master Ryuga!" Doji continued as Ryuga banged his head against his wall. "You see, I have a present I wanted to give you, too!"
"... a... present...?"
"Yes! So I was wondering where we could meet later so I could give it to you! Preferably somewhere not to public since I'm currently being chased by the police and such for almost destroying the world and starting an insane organization like the Dark Nebula,"
"Doji, I really don't want a birthday present from you. In fact, I-"
"Now, now, Master Ryuga, I know we've had our diffrences in the past, but is that any way to treat someone who's trying to set aside all that and build a bridge towards a better friendship?"
"I DON'T WANT FRIENDS! ESPECIALLY SOMEONE LIKE YOU! AND FURTHERMORE, I-!"-just when Ryuga was about to tell Doji off with the rage of an army of a million men, he heard a beeping sound from the phone-"Ummm... just a second, Doji, someone else is calling me,"
"Take your time, Master Ryuga,"
Ignoring how ridiculous Doji sounded, Ryuga switched lines and picked up the other call.
"Hello?" he asked cautiously.
"Ryuga?" Gingka's voice sounded through the line.
Ryuga's breath caught in shock.
"GINGKA?!" he screeched. "WHY ARE YOU CALLING AGAIN?!"
"Well, you see, I know you said you didn't want anything to do with the traditions that we have for birthdays in Koma Village. But after a little research, it turns out that I found something you can do without being too embarrassed, but I wanted to discuss it with you first. Tell me... how do you feel about dangling two hundred feet above ground in a pink dragon costume?"
Ryuga's face turned all sort of shades of red from humiliation and fury.
"Gingka, I have no interest in-!"-another beeping sound came from the phone-"Just a second, Gingka. I have another call,"
"Alright. I'll wait,"
Ryuga rolled his eyes and switched the lines.
"Who's this?" he asked irritably.
"Hi, Ryuga!" Kenta said at the other end. "So, you know what you said about not wanting to talk before? Well, I won't stand for it! We're going to talk wether you like it or not!"
Ryuga snarled.
"Look, kid, I have enough problems without you-"-another beep-"Ugh! Just a second, kid!"
"Sure. No problem,"
Another switch.
"What?!"
"Hey, Ryugie!" Yu giggled on the other line. "You know how we were talking about what to do for your birthday this year? Well, I thought that maybe instead of ice cream again we could go out to that Chinese restuarant where you dressed up like a rice ball and did the chicken dance for your birthday three years ago! Sound good?"
"We could-? Wait! No, Yu! That wasn't my birthday! You're thinking of Dashan's infamous one! And besides... you didn't even know me three years ago!"-yet another beep-"Look, I'm too busy to talk. I've got another call,"
"Okie-dokie, Ryugie. If you say so,"
Another switch.
"Yes?!"
"B-B-B-BULL, RYUGA BUDDY! I'M SO GLAD I GOT TO CALL YOU AGAIN!" Benkei cried at the other end of the phone. "When we talked before, I told you about how you sent me your bey, but that was just L-Drago... I didn't realize that you sent me your bey along with the rest of the legendary blader's beys, too! B-b-b-bull, Ryuga! You're the best! Thank you so much!"
"For the last time, I didn't send it to you! You must've ordered the combo pack of model beys from Hasbro! I didn't send you anything and-!"-another beep was heard-"OH, COME ON! Benkei, I've got to go!"
"Don't worry, Ryuga buddy! I'll wait right here!"
Switch.
"WHO THE HECK IS IT THIS TIME AND WHAT DO YOU WANT?!"
"Hey, birthday boy!" Masamune shouted. "Glad we got you in time! You know, before you went back to bed!"
"What?!"
"We figured not to pester you about being in the calendar," Ryuga heard Zeo say. "Or, at least I did. But Masamune, Toby, and Coach Steel sort of had something else they wanted to say that might persaude you,"
"Look, whatever it is, I-"
"Hit it, Toby!" Coach Steel shouted.
At once, a marching band was heard and Toby started singing.
"Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday, our month of October calendar boy! Happy birthday to-!"-another beep-"Yoooooooouuuuuuu-!"
Ryuga switched the line without even bothering to give an explanation.
"Oh, Ryuga, good! You finally picked up!" he vaugely heard Madoka say through the pounding beat of his traumatized heart. "Well, it's about time! Anyway, about the birthday card thing... I've narrowed it down to classic and humor since you don't really like poetry all that much. So in any event, I wanted to ask you which card you'd prefer to get... one with all the teams from the Beyblade World Tournament saying 'happy birthday and best wishes' on the front... or one with Dr. Ziggurat in a glittery merman costume holding up a sunken treasure with you in it?"
Beep.
"Madoka, I've got another call," a-now-scarred-for-life Ryuga said in a monotone voice, methodically switching to the other line. "Hello?"
"Oh, Ryuga! Thank goodness!"
"Teru?"
"Yes, it's me! I just wanted to know what color tie you were planning to wear to the ballet! Nothing too flashy! With front-row seats we don't want to distract the ballet dancers and such!"
"Teru, I never agreed that I was-"-beep-"One second,"
"Alright. But don't forget!"
Switch.
"YES?" Ryuga growled into the receiver.
"Hey, Ryuga, this is Wales. About what I said before about you not giving us the money... yeah, that's not really an-"
"What he means to say is we need the money," Klaus cut Wales off.
"And quickly," Sophie added.
"Yes. The designer has 'wanted' posters up for us everywhere," Julian agreed. "So-"
Beep.
Ryuga switched the line again; his head all but spinning from the insanity of it all.
"Hi...?" he asked warily.
"RYUGA! THOSE GUYS IN BLACK SKI MASKS CAME BACK! AND THEY HAVE FRIENDS!" Tsubasa screeched on the other end. "CAN YOU-?!"
Beep.
"Just a second, Tsubasa, I've got another call," Ryuga muttered.
"BUT, RYUGA-!"
Switch.
"Who's this now?" the white-haired teenager asked, his patience at its limit.
When a talemarketer came on the other end, it didn't help.
"This is a free commercial-based call to wish you happy birthday! We're pleased to inform you that you've recently been selected out of millions to be our scientist in a survey on the rapid decrease in leprechauns at the end of the rainbow and-"
"THAT'S IT!" Ryuga shouted at the top of his lungs.
He connected all the calls that were waiting on seperate lines onto one line and stood up angrily.
Yanking the receiver away from his ear furiously, he glared at the phone; his anger at its peak and growing even worse by the millisecond.
"Look, you crazy bunch of lunatics!" he screamed at the phone. "I'm only going to say this once, so you'd better listen and listen well! Gingka, Kenta, Yu, Benkei, Masamune, Zeo, Toby, Coach Steel, Madoka, Teru, Julian, Klaus, Sophie, Wales, Tsubasa, Doji, telemarketers, and anyone else who's listening, planning on disturbing my sleep, or even thinking about bothering me today! You're all INSANE! Wacky! Cuckoo! Off your rockers! Nutty! Maniacal! Flipso calypso! A bunch of sleep-depriving, outer space aliens from the planet aggravating! And I don't ever want to hear from any of you ever again! Never! Not one more time! Never, ever, ever call me again! I don't care if it's my birthday, or New Year's, or Thanksgiving! I don't care if it's Arbor Day, Earth Day, or a leap year! I don't care if it's Father's Day, Mother's Day, or Grandparent's Day! Even if it's Easter, Christmas, or Christmas Eve, send me a card or a present, but DON'T CALL ME! I don't like any of you! Not one bit! So all of you can just hang up right now and leave me alone forever! ANY QUESTIONS?!"
Silence.
"What about International Friendship Day?" Yu finally asked.
"ESPECIALLY INTERNATIONAL FRIENDSHIP DAY!" Ryuga shouted furiously.
More silence.
"DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?!" he screamed.
Beep.
At that moment, another call came in and Ryuga connected it to the same line, still seething.
"WHAT IS IT, YOU BRAT DETERMINED TO INTERRUPT MY SLEEPING PATTERNS?!" Ryuga yelled furiously, and if talking could kill, his voice could've sent the person on the other end of the phone to plan their funeral.
Silence.
"Hey, Ryuga, what's your problem?" Kyoya asked from the other end of the phone. "I just called to tell you something you might want to know,"
"WELL, FORGET IT!" Ryuga shouted. "BECAUSE MY ANSWER IS NO AND I DON'T CARE!"
On his side of the phone, Kyoya blinked in perplexion.
"What are you talking about?" he asked.
"OH, DON'T PLAY DUMB, TATEGAMI!" Ryuga laughed crazily. "YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I MEAN! AND LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, NO WAY! I'M NOT TAKING PART IN YOUR TRADITIONS FROM YOUR HOME VILLAGE! I'M NOT GOING TO TALK TO YOU JUST FOR THE SAKE OF TALKING! I'M NOT GOING TO GO EAT ICE CREAM WITH YOU! I DIDN'T SEND YOU MY BEY! I'M NOT GOING TO BE IN ANY CALENDARS YOU'RE MAKING! I'M NOT INTERESTED IN WHATEVER CARDS YOU WANT TO PICK OUT FOR ME! I REALLY COULDN'T CARE LESS ABOUT IN GOING TO ANY RUSSIAN BALLETS WITH YOU! NO, I'M NOT GOING TO LEND YOU A HUNDRED DOLLARS! IF YOU'RE STRANDED, I'M NOT GOING TO GIVE YOU A RIDE BACK TO YOUR HOUSE! AND NO, I DON'T WANT ANY PRESENTS FROM YOU!"
...
More silence.
"That's... good to know," Kyoya said warily. "But, actually, I was just calling to say that I've been meaning to tell you that you might have to change your calendar,"
At the mention of 'calendar', Ryuga calmed down slightly and blinked in shock.
"What about my calendar?" he asked blankly; exhaustedly.
Kyoya sighed as if it was the simplest thing in the world.
"Well, remember how busy all of us were last year with everything that happened?" he asked.
"... yeah...?"
"Well, by the time we got back to our houses and settled down again, a year had already passed. A lot of us forget to put up new calendars, as I found out after everyone started calling me the day before my birthday earlier this year,"
Ryuga blanched.
"Meaning?" he prodded breathlessly.
"Meaning I thought I should warn you before everyone started calling you and wishing you happy birthday," Kyoya stated levelly. "I know it aggravated the heck out of me when it happened, so..."
Ryuga shakily glanced over his shoulder at the calendar behind him...
... and almost fainted when he saw last year's year posted on it.
"Which means... since this is a year later... then my birthday's a day later..." Ryuga said in a dazed-out voice. "Which mean that-"
"Today's only October 4th," Kyoya ended his sentence for him. "Your birthday's tomorrow. Just thought you might want to know,"
Ryuga was speechless.
He just held the phone limply and stared into space.
"Anyway, I'm going to leave you alone now. In the meantime, get some sleep. You sound like you need it," Kyoya said. "Well, happy birthday in advance. Sweet dreams,"
And with that, Kyoya hung up the phone, leaving a very stunned Ryuga and company on the phone in an awkward silence.
"... wow..." Gingka was the first to talk.
"It seems like we made a mistake," Tsubasa agreed.
"So we didn't have to board this plane today?" Julian asked.
"I guess not," Klaus said.
"Too bad we already used up so much fuel and we can't turn around," Wales stated.
"We're really sorry about this, Ryuga," Sophie said.
"On the bright side, it looks like I have a whole other day to decide on which card to give you!" Madoka chimed.
"This was even crazier than Ryuga's birthday four years ago when we all went crab-juggling on a ferris wheel," Yu exclaimed.
"Ummmm... that was actually Tetsuya's birthday, Yu," Zeo said.
"Oh, well, this was a dissapointment," Masamune sighed.
"Yeah, no kidding," Toby agreed.
"B-B-B-BULL! SO WE HAVE TO WAIT TILL TOMORROW TO CELEBRATE?!" Benkei whined.
"Yeah! That means I won't have an excuse to talk to Ryuga today!" Kenta snuffled.
"But don't worry, Master Ryuga, we'll be sure to call you bright and early for your real birthday!" Doji assured the white-haired boy.
"Definitely!" Coach Steel agreed.
"I'll see if I can make a reservation for the ballet tomorrow night instead!" Teru added enthusiastically.
"HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY, RYUGA!" they all said in unison.
And with that, the line went dead.
Ryuga froze.
He stared at the phone.
His gold eyes turned red from rage.
His teeth grit.
His hands clenched into fists.
Purple energy laced around him.
And just like that, Ryuga cracked.
"LET IT RIP!" he screamed furiously, launching his bey as it unleashed all its special moves at once.
...
...
...
You can imagine what happened next.
Meanwhile, through it all, Nile just stood in the doorway; scary mask in hand, eyes widened, and mouth hanging slack; trying to figure out what he was seeing.
After a few minutes of watching Ryuga tear apart his calendar, obliterate his phone, and scream at the top of his lungs about how insane everyone else was but him, Nile dropped the mask in terror and shock and backed away very slowly.
"I think I'll try again... next year..." he concluded.
Chidsengan: TT_TT And there it was. I'm sorry it was so pathetic. I can't even make birthday presents worthwhile. I'm such an idiot...
In any event, happy birthday, DragonSiren7, and I'm sorry I'm so pathetic!
I hope at the very least this fanfic made you smile just a little... TTUTT
And a big thank you to everyone else who read it! It means the world to me!
I love you all so much (sibling-like)! ^_^