The Lost Art Of Having A Relationship

Before reading:

I reposted the whole first chapter! I´m really sorry, the last one was crap! Really taught me not to write when you´re slightly drunk! SORRY!!! Ria

Chapter One: Real, Faked, Pretended?

Heiji´s POV:

"Listen, Kazuha, I need you to be my girlfriend!"

All she could do was stare at me, disbelief shining in her eyes.

"You know what you are saying? A pretend? An act to make everybody belief we´re a couple? Are you nuts or just drunk?!" she asked furiously, narrowing her eyes dangerously.

"Just an act, zuha! Nothing to get so angry about! Since these crazy chicks won´t get off my neck!" I growled, while taking a huge sip of my beer. Sincerely the only reason I had taken her to the pub was my fabulous plan.

And everything had started with a simple phone call.

"You´ve broken up with that poor girl? Wasn´t she the third girl in four weeks?" the amused voice of Shinichi Kudo sounded through the phone.

I frowned and thought about it for a moment. Sincerely I wasn´t sure how many girlfriends I had had during the last months. "Could be..." I muttered. "But that´s not my fault, these chicks were lunatics, driving me insane!" - "Uhu..."-"You really sound disbelieving, Kudo! But these girls are just crazy!" I tried to sound especially convincing by emphasizing the word "crazy", but it did not seem to work.

"Maybe you´d need a normal girl then. One who isn´t a blond fan girl with an IQ as high as white bread´s!" Kudo answered dryly.

I cuffed. "Are you trying to say I pick the wrong women?" - "I´m trying to say there´s more about women then cute asses, you ass."

A long pause came up. I swallowed louder than I wanted, thinking about my next words hardly. Just when I was about to give a sarcastic answer Shinichi spoke up again.

"Maybe you´re right, Hattori. It´s not the girls fault, you wouldn´t even be able to have a relationship if your life depended on it." he shrugged.

"Of course I am! It´s the fault of those stupid chicks! I could make every relationship work, Kudo!"

I could see Kudo´s grin in my mind.

"You´d bet, Hattori? Cause I´m really up for a little bet!" Though Kudo, that wannabe detective, tried to hide the joy in his voice I snapped back immediately. "Course I bet, Kudo! Pick a girl and we´re on!"

"Fine, let´s say you need to have a relationship for at least one month..." -"Fine with me!" - "...with Kazuha!"

My mouth snapped open. "K-kazuha?" Please tell me he doesn´t mean that!

"Yep, Kazuha... Are you on?" SHIT! But I can´t drag out now!

"Fine!" I agreed.

"Fine." Kudo grinned even broader, telling the rules. "If you loose you´ll have to tell the press I´m the best detective EVER!" - "But if I win... "

I frowned slightly. Having a real, but faked relationship with Kazuha was beyond all questions. I could not ask her because it would have been a lie and she´d suffer.

So I came up with my brilliant plan. I would have a real, faked, pretended relationship with her, being the perfect boyfriend and nobody´d get harmed, except for Kudo.

She would think we were acting to convince the other students.

Kudo would think I asked Kazuha out.

And most important: I would win the bet.

Smiling at Kazuha I continued to tell her the plan.

"They were basically stalking me! I had to tell them something! And telling them I already had a girlfriend was the first thing that came to my mind!"

Kazuha frowned and pursed her lips, a habit she used to do whenever she was not sure what to answer. I watched her. "Common, ´Zuha! We´re friends, you owe me that much!"

She only glared at me. "Why would you tell them I AM your girlfriend? Couldn´t you think of anyone else more fitting?" It was obvious she was still angry and unsure what to do.

"Oh, come on, Kazuha! Who else would these girls believe I love?" I flashed her a sweet smile, showing my white teeth. She´ll never stand that!

Kazuha blushed, trying to keep up her angry glare, but I knew she felt flattered by my words. I just know her too well. Absentmindedly Kazuha started to play with one strand of her hair. That was the sign she was on! Just a little more!

"Please, Kazuha, do me that favour! I need you! You´re the only one who can possibly help me with this!"

I played my last card.

The reliability and dependence card.

And Kazuha would crack down like she always did.

I just knew it.

Kazuha´s POV:

I sighed while walking towards school, feeling like an idiot.

He spoofed me! Again! I knew it, but did nothing to prevent it.

"I need you! You´re the only one who can possibly help me with this!"

Pah! He twitted me and I let it happen, smiling brightly.

And now I was the official girlfriend of the great detective of the west. And at the same time I was not.

I sighed, throwing my ponytail back.

What was even worse than him tricking me into being his fake girlfriend was the talk. We denied having feelings for each other for years, which was, of course, no lie since neither of us had any feelings for the other. Or at least you told yourself you have no feelings so often that by now you aren´t really sure of any feelings you have. A voice inside my head told.

I only knew we were friends and playing couple would not really improve our friendship. For sure we would only fight a lot more.

Again I sighed.

"Hey, what´s up? You sound like my mum when she waits for my dad´s return from a case!"

I leered at Heiji, directly showing my queasy feelings.

"Oh common... It won´t be that bad, ´Zuha! It can´t be hard to pretend to be together since we´re already good friends!" He shrugged. I rolled my eyes.

"Are you nuts? We argue all the time, how should we be a couple?"

Suddenly Heiji stopped his walk and I stumbled over my feet, nearly falling to the ground.

Catching me he leaned down to my ear.

"Don´t you think we should be happy finally being able to show our feelings in public?" My heart stopped a beat. His gaze was so intense, so breathtaking, causing a shiver down my spine.

Whispering in my ear he continued in a husky voice.

"I wanted to do that for such a long time, ´Zuha, just touching you in public, kissing you whenever I want!"

My heart beat increased rapidly as he said this, my knees got weak and I was relieved he still hold me.

No feelings for him, huh? The little voice inside my head laughed.

Suddenly he grinned sheepishly, joy in his eyes.

"See, I´m a born actor! You should try to keep up with me and my "longing" for you, otherwise the others will think you´re an ice queen, not returning my feelings!" The same self-glorifying and self-conscious voice as in his cases...

"No touching, no kissing, I understand..."

We entered school, a bright red impression of my hand glowing on Heiji´s cheek. I only "hmpfed", while walking through a mass of staring students. Obviously the "news" of us being a couple had already spread. I shook my head and glared at Heiji.

I could hear the whispering of the "Heiji fan girls", things like "ugly brat", "unpopular", "wrong choice" and "fat". They were for sure talking about me. I even heard them mention I am not Heiji´s type.

When I glanced at Heiji he did not even seem to realize what was happening around him.

"Heiji, don´t you...?" I whispered, when suddenly I ran against something hard.

"Urgh! Look at you, you clumsy freak!"

Obvious whos voice that is... I thought, looking up.

Standing in front of me was Eliza Kamiya, a blond supermodel type of girl and one of Heiji´s biggest fans, shooting me an icy look.

"Hattori-kun, I really have to say this is not what I want! This is not what I planned! And I just gotta say I do NOT understand why you should be with that uncute girl! She really isn´t your type! And, what is most important, she doesn´t deserve you! She´s a mean, violent, unimportant nothing!"

I took a deep breath. Well, hello! I´m right in front of you, bitch!

"Really? Then, who would be my type, Eliza?"

Just great, that girl offends me while I´m next to her and my "boyfriend" starts flirting!

Eliza smiled sweetly, throwing back her blond locks. "I would."

Ok, enough! Just because I´m sitting on the ground doesn´t mean... "Hey!" I started, anger welling up.

"I´m really sorry, but I prefer other types of women... Had enough Barbies." Heiji grinned and pulled me up from the ground, putting an arm around my waste. Smiling at me, which caused a blush on my cheeks, he walked on towards our lockers. I was baffled, until I realized his arm.

"Heiji!" I muttered angrily, glaring at him.

"I understand you don´t want any caresses, but holding hands and stuff really does not count into that!" he whispered. "Common, your not ten years old, you should be able to stand that! It´s only act!" he hissed – and I really wanted to agree on that but the feeling of his hand on my waist was already too much.

Author´s notes:

Once again a big sorry to everyone who read the first chapter uploaded! Something like that won´t happen again, I promise. (Or try?!)

This story is my personal try to overcome my writer´s block!

Don´t be too harsh.

Now on to my little confessions:

Detective Conan is not mine! (Unfortunately! )

I added the Character Eliza Kamiya and stole her name from Shaman King (Eliza) and Rurouni Kenshin I think (Kaoru´s last name was Kamiya, wasn´t it?)

I took the title "The Lost Art..." from a brilliant novel by Eva Rice, "The lost art of keeping secrets" and changed it a bit.

I put in a quote from "Highschool Musical"! Did anybody notice? (Love that movie, by the way...)

If anyone seems out of character it´s totally my fault (Kazuha is a little too timid at the end, but you need to consider she does not know how to act as a proper girlfriend of Heiji Hattori xD)

Hopefully this story will help to overcome my writing problems since I´d really like to finish my Ranma ff AND I still have to write two articles for our Abitur-book!

HELP!!!

PLEASE READ AND REVIEW! THANK YOU!

Ria