Without saying a word you can light up the dark
I sat slumped on the floor, in the corner of my bedroom. I'd hardly gone out of the room for the past two days, let alone outside. I'd been stuck in one of my periods of "Existential crisis", panicking blindly over what I was doing with my life. My bum was going numb, and my leg had gone dead because I hadn't moved in three hours, but I was too paralysed by my state of "What the holy fuck am I doing" to even move. A dull knocking came from the door, the kind of sound you'd get from hitting the wood with your forehead. I didn't reply but, Phil being Phil, the door pushed slowly open and a black-haired head peeped through the small gap between the door and the doorframe. He grinned nervously at me and I lifted my head to smile weakly back.
Phil pushed the door open the rest of the way with his shoulders and crossed the room carefully, his tongue poking out of the corner of his mouth with the effort of balancing his laptop, three bags of Malteasers and a DVD case in his arms without dropping them. I lifted my arms to take the laptop off him before he destroyed it, and he slid down the wall to sit next to me on the floor. We turned to face each other and he studied my face intently for a couple of seconds, before handing me the DVD case. It was "Moulin Rouge". He pulled the laptop off my lap to slot in the DVD, and I grinned at him before pulling the duvet off my bed, getting comfy. Phil always knew how to make me feel better.
The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
It was a couple of weeks until Christmas, and Phil had managed to get himself a date. I say managed- the waitress at our regular shake-away had been making eyes at him for weeks, but innocent Phil hadn't even noticed until I'd pointed it out, at which point he'd gone bright red and I'd laughed as he'd stuttered. He'd left a few hours ago and I didn't expect him back for ages yet, so I hauled myself up off the sofa to slot in the skyrim disk. Just as I was leaning over the TV, the door opened.
"Good date?" I asked, not looking around. Phil didn't reply, and I turned to see him hanging up his scarf with more care than usual. Finally, he turned, too, and smiled sadly at me.
"Bad date." I stated, then walked over and folded my arms around his skinny frame. I knew he was more disappointed than he let on, and sure enough he sighed quietly and leaned his face into my shoulder, bringing his arms up around my back.
"Well, how about I get you some chocolate?" I quoted, hearing him laugh quietly into my ear. He let go of me, and I collected a kinder egg from the kitchen. As I reached up to grab it, I smiled a little to the packets of biscuits in the cupboard. I hated it when Phil felt sad, but it was nice to feel like he needed me.
There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me
I bolted upright with a gasp. The dark and quiet of the cold bedroom was completely juxtaposed to my mad panic in the dream. I pulled the duvet off my legs, sliding out of bed and padded across the room to open the door. I peeked out, seeing flickering light from the living room meaning the TV was on. Picking at the hem of my T-shirt, I walked into the living room to see Phil still on his laptop while anime played on mute in the background. He looked up at me, startled, then widened his eyes even further in shock. I realised that I had tears running down my face.
"Nightmare." I said quietly, and he nodded and patted the sofa next to him. I sat down. He wasn't talking, not pressuring me to explain what it was about, but I could feel his eyes on my shoulder.
"I dreamt you'd found a girlfriend, and you'd gone to live with her, and every time I visited you'd hide from me, and I could hear you laughing, but I couldn't find you, and I came home but it was so big and…" I trailed off when Phil put his arms around my and pulled me into his chest, rocking me slowly. After what could have been ten minutes, or ten hours, he pulled away, and looked into my eyes, more serious than I'd ever seen him. Our eyes met, dark brown to the clear, truthful blue. You could always tell his emotions, just by looking at his eyes. And right then his eyes said "I wouldn't. Not ever.". I had never quite mastered Phil's knack of communicating so effectively without words, but I leaned my head into his chest, and tried to tell him I knew.
A touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall
"What if I screw it up, Phil. I'm going to, aren't I? I always do, don't I?" I fretted, waving my straighteners around dramatically as I inspected my outfit worriedly in the mirror. Phil looked up, sprawled across my bed, from scrolling lethargically through Tumblr.
"It's just an interview, Dan." He said, rolling his eyes a little.
"No, Phil. Not just any interview. This is an interview with the head of the BBC about our radio show. This could make or break us, Phil! Make or break." I cried theatrically. Phil sighed, but raised his eyebrows, inviting me to continue. I sat on the edge of the bed, facing away from him.
"This interview is the difference between us being Phil and Dan, short term internet fads, or Phil Lester and Dan Howell, serious radio personalities. Household names. Remembered." As I spoke, my voice came down from it's panicky pitch to a terrified whisper. He rolled off the bed behind me, walking around it to stand in front of my face. He squeezed my shoulder reassuringly.
"I only care about being remembered by one person." He said quietly.
Now you say it best, when you say nothing at all
A/N: I made a thing. First Phanfic, so it's probably crappy. I wrote it as friendship, but you can read it as romance if you like. That's why I put this at the end- so you can make up your own mind. Anyways, this was just me trying to integrate myself into the Phandom. If you review I will give you many hugs. (I reply to every logged-in review, just saying, and if you don't have fanfiction but leave your tumblr URL I'll try to leave a thanks in your ask. Or just be an anon and flame me. I'm impervious. Oui.) This is based on "When You Say Nothing At all" by… some singer, if you hadn't already guessed.
Also, Merry Christmas! (/Hannukah/Kwanzaa/Winter Solstice/Whatever the next holiday you celebrate is)