Okay, this sort of just came to me, so please excuse if it was bad. It seemed good at the time, but now I'm not so sure… Well, please tell me what you think. I realize this would never happen, but it was fun thinking about what would happen if it did.
Our new minister Mr. Keith Matthews stood in the front of the room, talking to the citizens of Hicksville (yeah I know, the people who named it were kind of insane, ironically they happened to also be hatters), grinning merrily. My mother frowned in disapproval of someone smiling on Sunday. She was one of those people who thought it was sinful to have any fun of any kind at all. For once though the minister looked like he was actually having fun. And he wasn't one of those haggard people who looked like they'd never set a foot into the sun.
Rev. Matthews had long ginger sideburns and as I said a grin that appeared to be permanently glued onto his face. He was one of those people that you could tell he was used to drinking, even now he was tottering slightly, and his smile was just a touch too wide to be natural.
Though many of the old lady's in our town looked on with disapproving stares, I was happy. For once church might actually be fun.
"Everybody come to order!" He shouted. I giggled earning myself a glare from several people; he sounded like my teacher in the morning. He continued,
"Today's lesson is about the evils of alcohol and what they do to you." He yelled, speaking just a tad too loud. This time I bit my tongue, otherwise I would have full out laughed; I could tell the preacher had experienced the evils of alcohol- first hand.
"Today, we'll have a demonstration about it." He said. I leaned forward in my seat. Demonstration? He pulled out a six-pack from under a pew. Pulling out a beer he began drinking. The men and kids were laughing and the women were looking murderous. Soon he was falling around, looking like… well… a drunkard.
"See?" He asked, straightening suddenly, "Booze is bad for you. It tastes great though for all you kids that haven't tried it yet, you should try. Goodbye!" He ran out the door as though the cop were after him. I followed ignoring my mother's threats. I was laughing so hard I was crying.
"Mr.!" I yelled. He turned.
"Yes?" He looked kind of scared, as though I were going to set the town on him.
"That was the greatest sermon I ever heard." He bowed, almost falling to the ground in the process.
"Why thank you."
"How come you preached like that?" I asked curiously. (only later would I realize how rude that question was, I was only 7 at the time, I was clueless) He leaned in.
"Can you keep a secret?" He asked seriously. I nodded, just as seriously. "My friend Sodapop dared me to do it, I had to do it or he said he'd not provide beer for me any more."
"Sodapop?"I yelled, giggling furiously. What a name! Sadly, I never got to figure out whether or not he was serious because just then mom ran over and dragged me away, shooting daggers at Mr. Matthews.
That was probably the most fun Sunday I'd ever had.
Sorry, I know that stinks, but I think I'm a little over-tired, I get really messed up when I am. Review anyway? Tell me just how much it stunk?