So I've moved into the Destiel realm and I am writing pointless shmoopy smut because I need to practice writing these two in a slashy setting instead of pre-slash. Also, because smut. PS: a tiny bit of plot invaded my porn. Whoops.
xxxxx
After the fourth time being jostled awake within an hour, Dean snapped. "Just lie still, Cas."
The sound of rustling sheets stopped for a blissful five seconds before a frustrated huff came from beneath the pillow next to Dean's.
"Dean, it's not working; I cannot sleep." The muffled voice was low and gravelly, and Dean felt some of his annoyance melt away as he remembered nights where he had to drink a quarter of a bottle of whisky just to fall asleep, only to be plagued by nightmares. He sighed and rolled onto his side and eyed the jumble of blankets, pillow and clothes that was hiding Cas.
"Come on, it'll get better. You just need to get used to a routine." He kept his voice low because, although the rooms in the bunker were fairly sound proof, it was three in the morning and he hadn't slept somewhere so silent in well… forever, and he didn't want to ruin it.
"Lying here is not helping; it's only keeping you awake too."
Dean heard the guilt in Cas' rumbling voice and he sighed again, scooting closer so he could press a hand against what looked like the fallen angel's lower back covered by the blankets. "Hey, I don't need much sleep; I'm used to it. You only got a couple of hours the past couple of nights – you won't be much use if you start falling asleep during the day."
There was silence from beneath the pillow but after a few moments Cas' head emerged, hair sticking up all over the place which made Dean break his yawn with a smirk. Cas' searching blue eyes fixed on him in the soft lamp glow and he murmured earnestly. "Perhaps it's better if I go back to my old room until I learn to sleep better."
Dean's hand immediately tightened on Cas' back before he forced himself to relax and school his features back from startled to calm. "Nah, you're fine here." He wrapped his arm more firmly around Cas' back and pulled himself closer, trying to ignore the tightening in his chest. It had only been a week since they'd started this, only a week and already Cas was thinking of putting distance between them. "Come on, don't worry about it. Just try to stop thinking about everything all the time. Do you know how to turn off that brain of yours?"
Cas sighed and looked doubtful but he rearranged himself so he could face Dean with the hunter's arm slung loosely over his waist. Dean closed his eyes, tired, but his mind was working now, trying to think of ways that might help Cas sleep. There was alcohol, but he didn't want to start Cas down the road of alcohol dependence, and there were meds but again, not really a permanent cure, and there was always that lingering image of the Cas from Croatoan 2014 that made him determined to steer this Cas clear away from overusing addictive substances. What they needed was a good hunt. Something simple but physically challenging, something to get the blood pumping and adrenaline flowing, and after a couple of hours of that, Cas would be out like a light for a week. They were still trying to keep quiet though, so they'd have to wait for a case that wasn't too conspicuous or too far from the bunker.
Frustrated, Dean shifted, bringing his leg up to get more comfortable when his knee pushed between Cas' legs and he froze. He opened his eyes and was greeted with Cas' wide blue eyes meeting his before they quickly glanced down to where he gingerly lifted the blankets to look at where Dean's knee had accidentally brushed the erection tenting his pants.
"Is it always like this?" Cas frowned down into the depths of the blankets, looking equal parts embarrassed and surprised. "It seems rather inconvenient to have so little control over it."
Dean erupted into chuckles and had to smother them in Cas' shoulder, unable to think of anything but how absurd it was for a former angel to be plagued with the anomaly that were misbehaving dicks.
"Dean, you're making it worse." Cas complained into his hair and Dean pulled back, smiling widely as he took in the moody expression coupled with the rumpled hair and tired eyes that somehow managed to be breathtaking even when they were narrowed in frustration.
"How long have you had this, huh?" He grinned at the way Cas glared back at him and watched smugly as the fallen angel's face quickly melted into an expression of warring anticipation and exasperation as he slowly slid a hand down his torso and murmured lowly in his ear. "This might be the answer to your problems, you know. Let me take care of this for you, you'll be out like a light."
Still grinning, Dean propped himself on his elbow so he could kiss Cas properly, one hand brushing down Cas' thigh and trailing back up over his hip as he opened his mouth against Cas' and was met with the warm wetness that was quickly becoming familiar to him. They'd only started this a week ago and they'd only done this twice since then, with few chances and little energy to spare for themselves. As it was, they were still learning how the other liked being touched and what they wanted from each other in return. They hadn't yet settled into the warm familiarity that Dean had known with Lisa and that Cas had never known; there was still that sharp thrill of newness when Dean slid a hand up Cas' loose shirt, fingertips skimming the warm, flinching skin, the sensation gripping him with the urge to grab on and dig his fingers in tight and never let go, and yet also to sweep long reassuring strokes over the twitching muscles.
Their lips parted and with eyes half lidded, Dean hovered slightly above Cas and rested their foreheads together, pushing against Cas so he would push back against him; so he would fight him and push and take; so Dean wouldn't ever doubt his passion for him again. Cas didn't disappoint, his tiredness slipping into the warm desperation of arousal, one hand fisting in Dean's shirt while the other twisted into his short hair and pulled him down against him so the shorter man could push up his hips and find friction against Dean's hip through the blanket. Dean caught Cas' sharp exhale at the action and gently nipped at his bottom lip, eyes lowering to watch his own hand push down the blankets covering them both, revealing the fallen angel that had never stopped being an angel in Dean's eyes.
Cas was familiar enough with this part and he pushed Dean away slightly so he could reach down and push his pants down before kicking them away to the corner of the bed. He caught Dean's lips again, pushy and demanding now that he knew this was his, that he wouldn't be denied, and Dean indulged him for a few moments, his hand brushing against a lightly haired thigh before he pulled back to mumble. "Shirt too, come on."
Cas leant away again, a bit more hurried and impatient this time as he tore the old Led Zeppelin shirt that Dean had lent him over his head and tossed it to the end of the bed. Dean took a moment to enjoy the scenery, watching Cas' shoulders and back ripple, the shadows fluidly chasing each other across his body as he got back into a kneeling position, before Dean was jolted out of his staring by a deep, growled. "Dean".
He grinned and chuckled, catching Cas' impatient gaze. "Just enjoying the view." He quickly pulled off his shirt, smirking as he felt Cas' eyes watching his every movement, raking so unabashedly over his form that is was the best kind of obscene. Sometimes it was good doing this with someone who knew so little about human inhibitions and social constrictions. Dean knew he was getting an honest reaction out of him and when he rolled back to push down his own pants, the wide blue eyed stare and the fists clenching in the blankets told Dean more than Cas ever did with words.
He got back to his knees and met Cas halfway in a deep kiss, both of them kneeling in the middle of the bed. Cas' hands were everywhere – skating down Dean's side, down his leg, back up to grip his ass and then moving up his back and gripping the back of Dean's neck fiercely in a move that almost made Dean collapse onto the shorter man, letting out a moan into his mouth. Cas knew he liked that – he'd figured it out pretty easily the last time they'd fucked, but he still seemed fascinated by it; that he could pull those noises out of the hunter with just the right touch to the right part of Dean's body and Dean felt worshiped and special and fucking worth something when Cas was looking at him and touching him like that. He let himself be pushed onto his back, Cas straddling him and lips parting momentarily so Dean only had a second to breathe before all he could taste was Cas again. There was no longer a trace of weariness in either of them; only adrenaline and lust pumping through their systems, more effective than any goddamn hunt and they both chased the thrill, the heady rush, as Cas ground down so their naked cocks rubbed together.
Dean groaned at the same time that Cas let out a wavering cry, and he parted his legs to let Cas fall between them, so they were pressed against each other fully and he definitely heard Cas let out a shaky little half sob from where he had pressed his face into Dean's shoulder. They rutted and thrust against each other for a couple more seconds of dizzying movement, where their bodies rocked together and the room moved beyond them and all Dean could see was Cas above him; the rolling muscles of his shoulder, the curve of his back and his dark hair slicked up at all angles from sweat and Dean's hands running through it. But then Dean had to push against Cas, push him up and kiss his swollen lips that automatically fell open for him, just for him, and god was that such a turn on.
"Hold on, hold on just a sec." He muttered, squirming so he could reach out from under Cas, who was refusing to budge, so he ended up rolling them both over a little so he could reach the bedside drawer.
"Dammit, Cas, give me a minute." Dean ground out brokenly as he rifled through the drawer with one hand while Cas determinedly brushed his lips down Dean's shoulder and chest, not quite kissing but breath so warm on his sweat soaked skin, his lips soft and reverent and fucking worshiping and Dean swore as he finally found the lube and condoms.
He inelegantly rolled them back into the centre of the bed, dropping the lube and condom somewhere on the bed and cupped Cas' face in both hands, pulling him down into a kiss while he rolled his hips up again, feeling his cock twitch when Cas pushed down against him, forcing him further back into the pillow. He felt a groan building in him as pleasure surged through his body, letting Cas completely overpower him in the kiss and the feeling of Cas so uninhibited, so overtaken by feeling just for him, made Dean's hands reach down and dig into Cas' shoulders, hips stuttering slightly as they thrust against Cas'.
He finally broke away, turning his head so Cas' chasing lips landed on his cheek. "Condom, condom, where's the fucking condom." He muttered distractedly, patting the sheets until he found it and ripped the wrapping off with his teeth. Cas watched him and leaned back onto his haunches to let Dean sit up slightly.
"How do you feel about me topping this time? Figure this'll tire you out the most." He hesitated with the rubber in his hand until Cas nodded in agreement, his fascinated gaze riveted on Dean's hand as he rolled the condom onto his own cock. They'd done this both ways before; Dean didn't mind switching most of the time and he had the feeling that Cas had yet to decide on a preference yet – plenty of time for that though.
Dean grinned wolfishly up at where Cas kneeled over him. "Gotta make you work for it this time round." Cas narrowed his eyes at him and Dean smirked, leaning forward to gently nip at Cas' neck, just below his ear, murmuring in a low, hoarse voice while he was there. "Gonna tire you out so good, Cas. Gonna make you work for it so hard you won't be able to walk straight tomorrow."
Cas obviously wasn't well versed in dirty talk (and it had never really been Dean's area of expertise anyway), but he reacted well enough to Dean's words, his eyes darkening and his breath visibly quickening. His eyes flickered from Dean's lips to his eyes and he licked his lips before inquiring in a voice that was so deep and gravelly that it made Dean shiver. "You want me to… work for it?"
Dean smirked up at him cheekily, placing his hands on Cas' hips and pulling him closer, lips grazing the firm chest before him. "Think you can handle that, angel?"
Cas scowled at him briefly before fisting a hand gently but firmly in Dean's hair and pulling his head back just slightly. "What would you have me do?"
Dean grinned in reply and wrapped a hand around the back of Cas' neck to pull him down into a kiss that Cas quickly took control of. Dean allowed himself to melt in Cas' hands but at the same time patted the sheets, looking for the lube that he'd dropped somewhere. He found it and broke away from Cas again to look down and squirt some of the clear liquid onto two of his fingers, feeling a tingling shiver rush through him at how intently Cas focused on his fingers. Cas knew what was coming and leaned forward into Dean, hands resting against the headboard as he straddled Dean's thighs more comfortably. He stuck out his ass expectantly without a trace of shame and the action had Dean swearing under his breath, having to clench his other hand to stop himself from reaching down and relieving some of the pressure off of his dick. Instead, he reached around the body kneeling over him, rubbing his palm firmly but soothingly over the swell of Cas' ass before sliding his two lubed fingers between the globes, sliding, searching. He finally found what he was looking for and turned his head slightly to kiss Cas' jaw as he pushed a finger slowly into him.
Cas let out a sharp exhale of air and pushed his forehead against Dean's, breathing harsh and warm against Dean's cheek, and Dean pushed back, looking up into blue eyes that still startled him and took his breath away at times. Pushing further into the fallen angel, this was one of those times.
He stared up in awe at the astonishing range of expressions crossing Cas' face as Dean worked his finger further into him before pulling it out and back in again. He wondered what it must have been like for the fallen angel the first time he had done this. Even now, he could see that the sensations that flooded Cas were threatening to overwhelm him; that they were so powerful and consuming that he was whimpering slightly under the onslaught. It must have been alarming for Cas to experience this for the first time, but he was definitely growing a taste for it as he quite abruptly pushed back against Dean's finger and forced it further inside.
Cas was so hot and tight around his finger and Dean almost thought another would be too much too soon, but Cas opened slowly to the second, little breaths huffing over Dean's lips and foreheads slicked together with sweat.
"Dean." Cas groaned, eyebrows drawing together as Dean's fingers pushed up and curled to nudge Cas' prostate.
"I know, I know." Dean murmured against Cas' open, panting mouth. "You want more?"
Cas nodded frantically against him, one hand fisting at the hair on the top of Dean's head as he pushed his ass further out.
"Shit, Cas." Dean muttered at the display, hurriedly adding more lube to his fingers as he felt his dick give a protesting throb. He returned with three fingers and wrapped a hand around Cas' thick length jutting out between his legs. "Dean!" Cas' fingers dug themselves into Dean's shoulders and Dean babbled murmured nonsense into Cas' ear as he plunged his three fingers in and out of Cas' tightness.
"Think you're ready?"
"Yes, Dean." Cas bit out in exasperation. "I have been ready for some time. You are being deliberately obtuse."
Dean chuckled smugly at Cas' impatience and gently removed his fingers from Cas' body. He squeezed out some more lube and spread it over his covered cock and sat back until he was more reclining than sitting, erection bobbing heavily against his stomach. Cas chanced a quick glance at Dean to confirm what was being requested of him and then shuffled forward and spread his legs wider; a sight that was carefully stored away in Dean's memories.
"You just gotta sit down on it real slow, okay? Then… you're gonna ride it for me."
Dean watched a shiver pass through Cas' body at his blunt, murmured words before he nodded earnestly, so readily accepting of Dean's guidance; a good soldier to the last but Dean also remembered that Cas used to be a captain and he couldn't fucking wait for the day when Cas felt confident enough to give him orders in bed.
Dean held his cock at the base to guide it as Cas lowered himself, but then Cas huffed in frustration as it missed its mark and he pushed Dean's hand out the way so he could guide it himself. Still needing to touch, Dean quickly grasped Cas' cheeks and pulled them apart so Cas could guide his cock into himself easier and had to bite his lip at the agonizing throb that rushed through his whole body at the sight. His whole nervous system was screaming at him to just throw his head back into the pillow and buck straight up into that scorching heat teasing at the head of his cock, but instead he forced himself to watch, muscles straining and breath hissing past his bitten lip, as Cas' entrance slowly stretched around him until the head pushed inside in one quick slide. They both let out groans as the heat gripped the sensitive head of Dean's cock and Cas' muscles fluttered around it while Cas tried to relax. Cas paused and Dean took a moment to grin up at his concentrated, overwhelmed expression that only seemed to intensify when the fallen angel moved again, pressing down slowly.
The going was slow. It was certainly faster than it had been the first time though, when Dean had hovered over Cas and held himself back while the man beneath him had grumbled and complained about him going too slow, and had tried to pull him down as Dean had just chuckled breathlessly at him. But this time around, Cas was the one picking the speed and it wasn't that much longer when he was half way down Dean's cock and then was sinking his fingers into Dean's chest when he rose up again. The next grind down and Cas still wasn't relaxed fully and his face twitched just barely in discomfort.
Dean moved a hand up to the back of Cas' neck to pull him down and meet him halfway in what was really an uncomfortable position for a kiss but it did the job to distract Cas from the strain of Dean's not inconsiderable cock pushing back into him. On his next rise and fall, Dean slid his other hand around to grip Cas' cock, his hand still lubed up, and pulled slowly and torturously, relishing in the hot wet glide of it and Cas' whimper that got stuck in his throat.
"Take it easy, Cas." The grumbled murmur against Cas' lips was almost lost in the fallen angel's stuttering pants. "Slowly, slowly. Don't hurt yourself, angel."
Instead of taking the advice though, Cas seemed to take it as a challenge and practically snarled into Dean's mouth. "I was a soldier, Dean. It will take more than this to hurt me."
Dean gasped a started chuckle as Cas sank further down on him and then began to move faster as if to prove his point and the only intelligible thought going through Dean's head was a awestruck, helpless 'That's my Cas'.
Dean sank back into the mattress again so Cas could push himself into a more upright position for better leverage and really started to move. He rose and fell until he was taking Dean's cock right to the hilt and Dean was gripping his hips, thumbs brushing over the jut of hipbones as his fingers dug into the rippling muscles of his ass. Cas was breathing harshly and letting out little desperate grunts as Dean struck near his prostate and soon he learned to roll his hips on the grind down to get Dean's cock to press against it, and the little grunts quickly became short, sharp cries. They mixed with the equally obscene sounds of slapping skin and Dean's gasping breaths and groans and Dean didn't care anymore if it was too loud for the otherwise silent room; the other bedrooms were far enough away for it not to wake the others and he was sure as hell never going to quiet Cas when he was making those noises.
It was obscene and filthy and yet somehow intimate and sacred. Dean pushed his hips up in sharp little thrusts, trying to match Cas' rhythm and soon they were moving together fluidly in a way that only those who had been together for years or those who knew each other inside and out could achieve. It was both a testament to how seamlessly they could work together and also how they complimented each other; Dean holding Cas steady as he fucked up into him and provided leverage and support as Cas set the pace.
Their movements quickened as the sensations began to roll over them in sharper waves. Cas' head moved from upright, staring down at Dean in a mixture of awe and lust with his face contorted in effort and pleasure, to hanging his head down, concentrating on moving faster and working towards his release by pumping Dean's cock as fast and as deep inside him as he could. The slide and clench of Cas' ass around Dean's cock was so rushed and desperate that it all seemed to meld into an agonizing blur with no easing and no mercy and fucking Christ that was exactly what he needed and his mind chanted out a litany of 'Give it to me', even as his mouth just babbled nonsense interspersed with Cas' name and swears.
He tilted his head back right into the pillow and pushed up off the mattress with his feet so he arched his back right into Cas' thrusts and he guessed the angle worked for the angel too because he let out a choked moan and started breathing out Dean's name over and over again. Dean shut his eyes tight as the sound washed over him. Cas chanting his name in that growling voice, his name being the only intelligible word Cas was able to form, completely driven out of his mind by Dean, just Dean, and a small part of himself whispered that if he could keep doing this for him then he would stay this time; he would stay if Dean could make him feel this and make Dean's name the only thing worth saying. Those thoughts were drowned out when Cas growled, voice broken but still commanding. "Look at me. Look at me, Dean."
He couldn't disobey that voice and he lowered himself back to the bed so he could look up at Cas without straining his neck. The fallen angel's eyes were dark in the low lamp light but Dean could still see glints of blue and the gaze still pierced him with its unique intensity and Dean knew that Cas wanted to see his eyes, wanted to look right at him when he came. It should have made him uncomfortable, the intimacy of looking into Cas' eyes as they climbed their way to their peaks, but it felt right, it felt like the conclusion they had always been working towards.
Cas leaned down a little, never breaking his pace, and Dean understood, raising up on an elbow so he could grasp the back of Cas' head in one hand and press their foreheads together. They panted into each other's mouths and the little catches in Cas' litany of Dean told the hunter that he was close. He grasped one of Cas' hands and quickly guided it down to his cock, heavy and red and leaking where Dean had abandoned it, and set a fast rhythm that Cas quickly followed, his hand flying over his own wet cock so Dean could go back to gripping the short hair at the back of Cas' head.
"It's-it's coming. Dean-" Cas bit out and Dean could feel it in the tensing of the fallen angel's whole body. The quickening of his hips, the tightening of his muscles around him and the tensing of his body as the angel pushed harder against him, opened his mouth wider and his face contorting a little more.
"Let it go. Come on, Cas, let it go for me." He panted against Cas' bottom lip and suddenly Cas was shuddering violently, strangled hoarse cry ripping out of his throat and his eyes staring right into Dean's, still astonished and awed by the intensity of the feelings coursing through his human body. His hips still rose and fell above Dean but they stuttered as Cas clamped down around him and scorching hot ropes of release shot from Cas' jerking hand and onto Dean's stomach. Breathing harshly, Cas glanced down to see the whity, sticky mess being splattered over Dean's sweaty skin and another shudder rippled through him, again tightening the ass that Dean was still fucking up into with sharp thrusts. That was it for Dean and he let out a hoarse cry as he came to the image of Cas staring down at his own come marking Dean's body, marking him as his.
Their hips gradually stopped rolling against each other and they sagged against each other for support. The only noise in the room was their own thudding heartbeat that only they could hear, and their panting that seemed twice as loud without the moans and sound of wet skin sliding against each other.
After a few more moments of resting against each other, Dean gently pulled Cas down on top of him and rolled him onto his side before carefully pulling out of him. Cas' eyes were already drooping closed and his face only twitched a little as Dean's limp cock slid out and he closed and straightened his legs. Dean slipped the condom off and tied a knot in it with a grimace before deciding that the bin was too far away and dropping it off the side of the bed, making a mental note to remember to clean up properly in the morning. But morning seemed quite far away with Cas all unusually pliable and warm and sleepy, and Dean quickly pulled the covers over the both of them as their sweat cooled and the air grew colder.
"Told you I knew how to tire you out." He murmured smugly, wrapping an arm around Cas' back and pulling him closer. He almost thought that Cas hadn't heard him, what with the angel's eyes already closed and face slack and peaceful, but there was a hint of a smile there for him; a little raising at the corners of Cas' lips that told him he'd heard him. He let his gaze drift over the tired but content features, slowly sinking into a sleepy trance, so tired that he almost missed the slurred murmur.
"Thank you, Dean. That was very effective."
Dean smiled sleepily, eyes half closed. "Any time, Cas."
Just before slipping into the peaceful darkness of sleep where his demons were unlikely to roam now that he was so worn out, he remembered a time where an angel watched over him while he slept. With his last conscious view being Cas' face relaxed in slumber, hair tousled and warm hand curled against Dean's bare chest, he finally understood why Cas had insisted on watching over him while he slept for all those years.
xxxxxxx
Wow, how did this end up so long? Also, it's not as edited as I usually do and I don't have a beta so there might be a few mistakes before I get around to cleaning it up. This is my first time writing Destiel NC17. Also on AO3 under I_DDare_You if you think you might have read it before! Any thoughts, comments? Anything at all would be really appreciated!
PS: if any of my followers read this, I'm trying to continue the other fics I've got going. I'm trying but it's taking a really long time. I love you all though, so much you don't even know.