Captain Killian Jones - The Enchanted Forest ( 4x22)
He snuck into the Good Queen Regina's castle the back way, through the passages, at night. If he entered properly in the daylight, the crowds would gather, making him uncomfortable with their cheers, there eagerness to see the hero.
It never felt right, so he took to avoiding it. Sticking to the darkness of the shadows that seemed, against reason, more familiar territory.
He was loved by all as a hero, but still felt empty somehow, as something, someone was missing. That all the adoration in the world could not fill or comfort the gap that one person could fill.
But there was no one person. His memories told him that his wife, Milah's had died in the hands of the villian, what villian he could never seem to recall... And he had lost his hand saving the kingdom from that villians doom. He had a fake hand now, all knightly and gold plated and beautiful, but it always felt wrong to him. Out of place. He would stare at it sometimes, not really wanting back his hand, but sure it should look different.
He had been summoned by his queen for another mission, another adventure. Another foe to face. As he made his way down the corridors of her castle, he ran into three women, all beautiful, cooing at him and stroking his arm in appreciation. They threw themselves at him, the brave knight, and his gentleman manners forced himself into a brief conversation with only subtle rejection.
He always rejected them. He told himself it was because of Milah, but that felt so long ago..., he told himself because of good form. They were both lies, and he knew it, knew deep it was because of the flash of something he caught when he was dreaming, a cascade of gold and the green of the most beautiful of seas.
Someone was missing. But he did not dare speak this out loud. He had no one close to himself to share it with anyways. Surrounded by love and complaining he was somehow lacking it.
Regina sat on her throne and smiled in friendliness when she saw him, but not fast enough to hide the look he had seen in her eyes first, sadness. He looked at her speculatively, this good Queen that had it all, was loved unconditionally by her people, and wondered suddenly if she felt it to...
What was missing. That this was somehow wrong.
"The villians are growing, spreading terror in our people Captain. We need to capture and defeat them. There are the more minor ones, like that thief Robin Hood, who steals from our poor to make himself richer, or Black Snow and her husband, ruling the neighbourhood kingdom with torture and fear."
"I think we should target the most powerful, the most hated, my Queen, to send a message to the others, that evil comes with a price."
Regina smiled a little sadly at that, saying "I agree, but it is dangerous. I don't want to risk our people, their lives. That is why I want you to go, undercover of sorts, and go after her one on one, and to kill her if necessary for the sake of our people...because you are my greatest hero, but also my survivor..."
He knew what was coming, but he asked anyways, refusing to feel fear at her response.
"Her?"
"Yes Captain... I need you to go after and kill the Black Swan"
Dark? Emma - The Enchanted Forest
She had gone to the tavern to get drunk, sick of the torturous thoughts that filled her head.
Of what she was.
Of what she had done.
Memories, screaming at her of whole villages murdered, small children slaughter amongst them, and always, their blood was on her hands. The last village for no other reason but they dared to be in her way.
She stared at those hands, and the white glow of her magic, mocking her in its innocent glow when she knew it should be as black as her soul was.
She wanted to scream sometimes that this was not her, this dark creature. She did not feel BAD. Yet when she went to yell out and deny it, the memories would bubble up inside her to silence her, leave her winded in the flashback of her own atrocities. She was a monster. There was not a word strong enough for to villify enough what she was, what she had done. Oh GOD, the children. The children.
The alcohol did little to numb the pain, and normally little could distract from the feriosity of her own self hatred, hot and piercing. But tonight was different as a man was watching her drink, stealing small glances from under the fluttering of his eyelashes, the clear blue of those eyes, grabbing her attention.
She was used to people staring, with terror or revulsion. This was different, this was warm somehow and speculative.
She started stealing glances herself until she wasn't sure anymore which one of them really was the one that had started it all in the first place. She had no intention of moving it forward, so she tried to push down the... something that was rising up inside of her.
Her heart beat in excitement at the same time that her stomach lurched in panic as he got up and approached her, giving her his best smouldering smile, and tucking himself beside her at the bar.
"Are you crazy, suicidal or just somehow ignorant as to what I am?" She managed suddenly, doing her best to look as uninterested in his obvious flirtation as possible.
"Can a man not simply buy a beautiful woman a drink love?" He said this to her softly, and oh, God, the sound of his voice made it even worse. The soothing lull of his accent.
She sat back, pulling away, determined to ignore the overwhelming desire suddenly to just touch him, to rub her fingers across the scruff of his face to see if it was as soft as she remembered... Wait what!? Remembered? She shook her head at the foolish thought, trying to steel herself against him.
In her efforts, she squeezed her glass too hard, and it shattered in her hand, slicing her.
He pulled out some cloth from his outfit, white and pristine, and she wondered suddenly at him, and his outfit. It was plain, and dark navy, as if chosen to tell as little about its wearer as possible. She almost did not realize who he was, but two things gave him away. The press of the handkerchief was perfect, military in its precision, and she realized suddenly, that under the black glove he had a wooden hand.
She knew that left hand was likely normally golden. She wondered at what he was up to. Well she tried to wonder, but her brain went to mush as suddenly...
"Your hand, it's cut, let me help you"
"It fine"
"No its not, here... She forgot to breathe a little as he gently wrapped her hand up, binding it with his teeth. He looked up at her, again from beneath his lashes, and she felt her own eyes flutter, her hands itch at the sudden need to reach out, until she pulled herself out of it suddenly, drawing back again.
He smiled at her, not put off in the least, and she was sure his eyes flitted to the tell tale pink she was sure crept across her cheeks, betraying her.
"A tough lass" He sat back again, giving her needed space.
It all felt so familiar. She tried to bury deep the next thought but it flared up anyways. This all felt so right.
But she knew who he was now, and what she was to those like him, so she stared at him unblinking raising her walls again as much as she was able.
"What are you after Captain?" And she was satisfied he was properly upset at her having guessed his identity.
He quickly regrouped though, and purred at her
"You are a beautiful woman love, and I but a lonely man... Have you not ever been in love?
"No, I have never been in love.." She thought she sounded convincing, as she almost believed herself, but he just arched and eyebrow up at her, scratched behind his ear and let his eyes laugh at her.
She had vague memories of love, of Neal, of Graham, of Walsh, all brief, all ending in death and betrayal. No one had loved her and lived to survive it, but as she thought this she had another flash, something deep screaming out that she was wrong, certain their had been someone once, who had changed that. She excitedly fought to get an image from that dark down secret place, but the face that flash suddenly was HIS face, this man before her, and they had never met.
She was evil and clearly crazy. She wondered if that was why she did not feel like the demon she knew herself to be.
She was so sick of the darkness. She gave into the temptation, his light.
"So, did you rescue some innocent puppies from any burning fires today?"
"Why, were you burning down small villages again?" He countered, not missing a beat
"Are you not worried that I will rip out your heart and crush it?"
He took longer to reply this time, poking his tongue out of his mouth a little that made a certain part of her clench.
"Why destroy something, I might freely give you with the right incentive, love?"
She watched his face for the lie, and saw none.
"Yet I am dark, black evil and you are the golden, white knight" She said this softly, and he cocked his head, and he saw the seriousness in his eyes at what he said next.
"Yet you are the one with the golden hair and white magic, and I am the one with the dark hair and the strange attraction the black clothing" " Makes you wonder if it is all wrong somehow..like everything got mixed up"
Her heart beat rapidly as she heard the doubt in his voice and saw in his own eyes, his own uncertainty at his own identity. They understood each other. Oh my god, to have someone express the doubt she was feeling. She got it out, but it was tentative, almost a whisper...
"I don't feel like a villian..."
He grabbed her hand and kissed it, on the palm, gently. "I don't feel like a hero, not always anyways..."
"Let's go somewhere to talk..."
She reached out her hand to him, to let him pull her out of her seat, and to continue this conversation, that had her humming with...hope... when she looked up at him suddenly, and saw it cross across his features, a mix of panic, self hate, hesitation, doubt. He looked conflicted and very guilty and her instincts screamed at her too late in warning. As she stared at his warm hand approaching her own, it deviated, slamming a black cuff on her wrist, blocking her magic as effectively as hand cuffs. He backed up quickly, fast, his eyes tortured.
"Captain, dont do this" She pleaded, desperately, not out of any fear of harm, but rather the crushing pain of yet another betrayal, the stomping down on her spark of something light.
"Swan, I am sorry, love, so sorry... But I can not take a chance that I am wrong about you" He looked as gutted as she felt, but he did it to her anyways. "I need to save the kingdom"
He had rope out now, but she was ready this time, knowing she could not best him with weapons without her magic, she fought dirty instead. She put her head down and allowed herself to cry at the crushing disappointment of it all, and when he stepped forward, unconsciously to comfort her, she slammed another glass from the bar into his head, rendering him out cold.
It would take a mere seconds to take the broken glass and slice his throat, something dark and broken within her beckoned, but she looked at him again, out on the floor, and the crazy voice inside her whispered at her, don't ,not him, never him.
In the end she simply stormed out into the night, leaving him where he fell, still breathing.
She would give him one free pass.
But one pass only. She promised the darkness she lived with, that if he tried again, she would kill him.
If she dreamed that night of her in a red dress, dancing with him at a ball, well, she simply would deny that...even to herself.
Villians did not get happy endings.