Notes: God, this is so self-indulgent. Like ridiculously so. Even more than my usual stuff. But the HaiKise feels are real and demanding, and I've been toying with this idea for a while. Honestly, I just wanted a Haizaki with cat ears and a tail to interact with Kise in a domestic setting, and about 2k of exposition got me there.
The title comes from a line in "The Walk" by Imogen Heap.
Warnings: Haizaki's mouth - so vulgar language, lots of made up facts about demons and absolutely none of it is researched, minimal angst, fluff for days, and perhaps most importantly, eventual Kise/Haizaki
Disclaimer: I do not own Kuroko no Basket.
01.
Fuck. Fucking humans. Shougo hisses in pain when a dumbass with clumsy feet steps on his tail. Said dumb fuck spots him, realizes what he's done, and reaches down to pet Shougo with an apologetic smile.
He waits just long enough for the human's hand to be within reach, and then he swipes it with his claws, feeling a vindictive satisfaction in the long scratch and drops of blood it elicits.
As the human yelps in surprise, Shougo books it, not sticking around to see if this human is the type to lash out or stubbornly keep trying to pet him. He wants fuck all to do with either.
Honestly, he wants fuck all to do with this realm in general. But it's not like he can go back home. He scowls as he thinks about it - or tries to, as much as his animal form can manage the expression - and takes shelter in a box that's been tipped on its side in an alleyway just as it starts to rain.
Demons are known in the human realm as innately evil creatures who deal in souls and wreak death and destruction wherever they can. And well, they're not completely wrong. A century or two back, that was how things were done, and that's the generation Shougo's father had been raised in.
Then came Demon's Rights organizations and reforms and shifts in government heads and policies, and with his scary ass mother leading the charge, it's no wonder everything demons had built over millennia had crumbled within a decade.
Now, demons are much more civilized, and the soul trade is so dull and boring that it might as well be the demon equivalent of the DMV. Everything is done on the books, and humans who want to make deals have to read and sign a huge stack of papers and documents that make up the Soul Contract. The deals happen instantly, but the wait for souls to enter their realm as documents are retrieved and visas are given out is slow and agonizing. Souls are backed up, and the line stretches into oblivion.
Minor deals that don't involve human souls are just as menial and mundane, and wanton destruction and mischief is no longer rewarded. It just means more paperwork and fucking awful therapy sessions disguised as evaluations.
'Why do you feel the need to cause havoc?' 'Are things alright at home?' 'And how does that make you feel?' All standard questions, and it's enough to make any lesser demon rip out their own innards rather than travel over to the human realm. It's just not worth it, which is exactly what the horrific process was meant to make them think.
So what exactly is Haizaki Shougo, high demon and someone who doesn't hate himself, doing in the human realm? The answer is pretty fucking stupid, and fuck, he should have known better. Hell, he did know better, but...
One of his buddies had found a crack in between the realms, one that the maintenance demons hadn't yet found and repaired, and without stopping to think about the repercussions, they'd both wandered into the human realm and began pranking any humans they came across. Making them trip over thin air, making them drop their food - stupid, harmless shit, but as they were returning through the crack, they were caught.
His mom had been pissed, which is probably the nicest way of putting it. He's the youngest son of the revolutionary head of defence, and he was supposed to set a better example for the younger demons who look up to him. The lecture encompassed that mostly, among other things.
Anyway, so his punishment is banishment to the human realm until he learns responsibility. Or something. He stopped paying attention about halfway through, and by his mother's smug face the last time he saw her, he's sure she's aware of it.
Now he's stuck here with no idea what to do and no way to contact his mother or his older brother to ask. This fucking sucks. He lies down and curls into himself, ready to sleep away this nightmare of a day.
-o-
He comes to consciousness quickly, hackles raised and all senses alert, only to realize he's being manhandled by some punk ass human. And fucking swell, he's got punk ass friends.
Shougo hisses, struggling in the too tight grip, and it's obvious the young humans are inebriated. They're swaying, off-balance, and every word is slurred and almost incomprehensible - and they would be to him were Shougo's hearing not leagues better than the average human's.
Even so, it's no help to him since he can't communicate anything in this form. A real damn shame that he can't just transform into his demon self, but that's taboo even for Higher Demons and a greater offense than Shougo's harmless pranks. He likes his head firmly attached to his body, thanks. Even if he would like to tear these humans a new one.
He settles for sinking his claws into the human's hand, and shit, maybe not his best idea. The fucker yells, drops him, and before Shougo can dart away, he fucking kicks him. With a yowl, Shougo crashes into the nearby wall and then falls about a foot to the dirty, wet ground. Fuck, he hurt something. And was that a 'crack' he heard? Not good.
The fuckers laugh uproariously, and then thankfully, they stumble off somewhere else. He hopes they wander out into traffic, the dicks.
With a wince, Shougo forces himself to his feet, and then when nothing sends him right back to his side, he limps out of the alley, aimlessly walking (in the opposite direction of the drunk assholes) and trying to put distance between him and that alley in case they come back or anyone is stupid enough to investigate the sounds.
This would be a good time for a healing spell, he can't help but think sarcastically. Too bad Shougo never had an affinity for them, always too violent and explosive just like his magic.
Shougo's abilities are mostly offensive with a few defensive spells, and he prides himself in his ability to steal other demons' spells. They usually don't appreciate it, but they're just poor sports. Of course, there's also the trickery that runs in the very blood of every demon, the innate stealth, humor, and creativity that makes them demons, and any higher demon can transform into an animal given enough practice and control.
That being said, even with Shougo's impressive arsenal of magic and spells, there isn't one that would ease the pain in his leg or heal whatever must be bruised or broken in his side. Maybe it was a mistake to turn down Shion's offers to teach him. His brother is many things, most of them awful, but bad at healing spells is not one of them.
Then again, Shougo would rather endure this temporary pain than have to live with Shion's smugness at his little brother coming to him for help for the rest of his life. And as a demon, that's quite a long time indeed.
-o-
He doesn't know how long he limps or how far he manages to get before he collapses because after a while, his legs give out and his eyes slide shut as his brain drags him down into unconsciousness. He doesn't know how long he's out either.
The next thing he knows, he's bundled up in something soft and warm for the first time since his ass was dumped in this realm, and for a few moments, he doesn't want to figure out the why's or how's. Because that would mean he has to open his eyes, take in his current situation, and - more importantly - move out of this comfy warmth. And he really, really doesn't want to do that. Doesn't he deserve a win today? A rest?
But inevitably, he finds himself thinking about it, and so he realizes - one, he's no longer outside, two, he's in someone's house, cozy in their blanket, and three, that same person likely wrapped bandages around Shougo's midsection and right foremost leg. Shit.
He crawls out of the cocoon of a cover and glances around, suspicious and ready to bolt. Looks like he's in a bedroom - no shit, there's a bed - and the owner or owners have left him alone for now. He doesn't see any immediate exits other than the door, and it's fucking closed, of course. There's the window, but it's closed too and probably locked.
He scowls and then sits down and tries to survey the damage he's taken and what the human has done to help. It's not too bad, fortunately. Nothing feels broken. Likely he bruised his ribs and twisted his wrist. Nothing he can't handle and certainly not the worst injuries he's ever gotten. Being a high demon with a smart mouth equals lots of other demons who want to knock his lights out, some of them permanently.
He feels a ghost of a smirk, and then to his horror, he notices something secured around his neck. Something like a damn collar. Fucking-! He tries to wiggle out of it or pull it off or break it, but that accomplishes jack shit.
Pissed and more than a little shaken, he gets reckless. He doesn't hear the human coming closer, so he risks transforming. He can't use magic as a damn cat, and any normal, human collar will break during the process. Unless of course- But he's not thinking about that because what are the fucking chances?
The transformation is quick, and a familiar rush of energy thrums through him as his magic properly reasserts itself in his core. He's naked - because clothes just fall off when he turns; no one's found a way to factor them into the transformation that isn't ridiculously complex and time-consuming - all but for the collar still firmly attached to his neck, and now? Now he starts to panic.
There are very few items in this world that can trap or bind a demon - much less a high demon - and even fewer that haven't already been locked away in a vault in the demon realm or been destroyed for their dangerous potential. This collar is one of those items, and honestly, how the fuck did something like this end up in the human world? More to the point, how in the seven hells did it end up around Shougo's neck without him noticing?!
Fruitlessly, he tries again to do anything he can to remove it, including some destructive spells, but it gets him fucking nowhere. After a solid fifteen minutes of useless struggling, he gives up. Rubbing his face with his hand, he steps back from the situation and just- thinks.
He's never been very good at that, always one to act and react with little thought to either. He's a fighter, born and bred, and he lives and breathes combat. He lets his family do all the strategic thinking, allows them to make decisions, to point him somewhere and unleash his destruction on their enemies.
There's still the old faction, after all. Demons who still believe in the old ways and don't particularly care for this new civilized structure and relative peace. Shougo's father is among them, but he's never personally come to blows with the old bastard.
They send out troops in both realms, trying to tear down everything Shougo's mother built and return things back to the way they were. Bunch of wrinkly, old pricks. They're just pissed they were booted off their thrones and stripped of all their power. The demon realm has fucking prospered under his mother's reign, and Shougo gladly whoops the asses of any dumbfucks who try to screw that up. He takes a vindictive pleasure in foiling their plans and sending them running with their tails between their legs.
...Maybe too much pleasure. He's starting to remember what his mother said. Something about teaching Shougo humility and compassion? He scoffs, pinching his nose. There was something about being too arrogant and dismissive of humans in there too. The pieces start adding up.
What are the chances that the same day Shougo's sorry ass is banished to this realm an incredibly rare demon artifact finds its way into a human's hands and subsequently around his neck? Pretty fucking high when smug mothers who want to teach their sons valuable life lessons are involved. Ugh. He groans, panic subsiding and making way for anger and a good amount of disbelief.
This fucking sucks. But whatever. He knows what game she's playing now, and he fucking refuses to let it turn out the way she expects it to.
-o-
He searches through the human's room for clothes to wear and settles on some black boxers and an impossibly soft white hoodie. Both items fit him well enough, and they smell amazing. Like lavender.
A few things of note: this human has style and money. Looks like high-end fashion, not that Shougo would know for sure. He doesn't spend much time on this side, and when he does, it's not for leisure.
Speaking of, does this count as some sort of vacation? He hasn't had one since he graduated from the academy and started his full time job as demon hunter. (It's an amusing title, no matter that it makes his mom roll her eyes. At least Shion appreciates his humor.)
Anyway, another thing is that he - and it's surely a male; Shougo's nose is never wrong - lives alone. And this is not a house so much as a big, expensive apartment. He could tell that much from leaning precariously out of the window. They're probably about ten or twelve floors up. He didn't bother to count.
The view is alright. It just highlights the dirty, pollution filled city Shougo had been stumbling around in hours earlier.
Oh yeah, he also knows that it's been at least five or six hours since he fell asleep. It was early morning then, and now it's midday. He must have been really tired, especially since he was fucking treated and collared without so much as a stir. He shoves down the rush of irritation with practiced ease and stares at the door, arms and legs crossed, patiently waiting for the human to walk in.
Probably important to note that said human is currently home. By the smell and sound of it, he's making coffee in the kitchen. Only a matter of time before he heads to his bedroom, right?
Shougo smiles a little with anticipation of the human's reaction. Shock or awe. Maybe fear, which is less fun but understandable. Hopefully not rage or anything similar. Shougo needs him agreeable for this shaky plan to pan out. Anything else would be... Well, he'll destroy that bridge when he comes to it.
-o-
Upon spotting Shougo, the human yelps, almost dropping his mug and barely able to stay standing. He stares wildly at Shougo, completely and utterly shocked at finding a man in his room when he expected to find a stray cat.
"Who- what are you?" The human demands, skittish and taking in Shougo's appearance with wide eyes. Cat ears and a fluffy tail swishing idly behind him should clue this human in to the fact that Shougo is far from normal.
Blinking, Shougo tilts his head to the side, considering the ridiculously pretty human before him. His blond hair feathers around his face flatteringly, his gold eyes are bright and intelligent, and it can't be said enough but - this human is stupidly attractive.
But Shougo doesn't have time to ogle him, and he has a very strict personal rule about not engaging humans up close. It usually doesn't end well, and like almost everything involving the human realm, it would require paperwork. His tail flicks to the side in annoyance at the thought.
"Haizaki Shougo, at your service," he says, smiling wryly. Names hold power, but considering Shougo is already at this human's mercy, it hardly matters.
Visibly calming down but still wary, the human clutches his steaming mug and asks, bewildered, "Are you that cat I saved earlier?" His voice is smooth and enticing, and Shougo bites down the inappropriate thoughts that surge up at the observation.
"Yeah," he answers easily enough, and the human continues to stare at him. Well, at least he's not screaming in terror or trying to attack him - both things that have happened before. Might as well play nice since things are going his way so far. "I'm actually a demon," he reveals.
"I want to say that's hard to believe, but you've got the, you know, ears and tail. Plus, I think I'd notice if some crazy guy broke into my apartment in the ten minutes I've been in the kitchen, and the cat's gone," he says, apparently convincing himself of Shougo's legitimacy. He leans heavily against the door frame, like he needs it to hold him up. "Um, why is there a demon perched seductively on my bed?" He asks. "And hey, are you wearing my clothes?"
Seductively? Shougo glances down at himself in confusion, decides the human is being facetious, and returns his sharp gaze on him. "Would you rather I was naked?" He asks dryly.
For a long moment, it looks like the human is going to say yes, and despite himself, Shougo feels his face flush in embarrassment. "Fuck it, never mind. Get your damn head out of the gutter, human."
"Sorry, sorry," the man apologizes, not sounding like he means it at all. He grins, somehow seeming more comfortable in Shougo's presence. "So you never answered my question," he points out, slyly. "Oh! Could it be that you're my reward for being a good Samaritan?"
"What? No," Shougo huffs a laugh, entertained at the mere thought. A demon showing up at a human's house is usually seen as a bad omen. "Although, I can reward you with anything in my power - so long as you do something for me."
The human perks up, "Oh? What is that?" He takes a sip of his coffee, way, way too calm. Does he know nothing about deals with demons?
Sure, they're not exactly common knowledge anymore, but they show up often enough in modern media and rarely in a good light. But whatever, this human's ignorance is working in his favor, so he shouldn't complain.
He smirks, pulling down the neck of his hoodie. "I just need you to remove this collar, and I'll make one wish of yours come true." He'll keep this one off the books. No need to let his mom know just how he got out of her ridiculous punishment.
The human grows thoughtful at that, eyes narrowing even as his smile remains firmly in place. "Hmm, so does that mean you can't take it off yourself?" He surmises, and Shougo doesn't like the look on his face.
Scowling, he asks sarcastically, "Why else would I ask you to do it, human?"
"Kise Ryouta," he corrects, setting his mug down and walking closer to Shougo. "You can call me Ryouta," he offers, stopping just in front of Shougo.
He scoffs. "Giving out your name to a demon? How stupid." He leans back, irritated at having to crane his neck upwards to meet those twinkling eyes.
Ryouta laughs, "I've been called gullible before, but you seem like an alright guy to me, demon or not."
Shougo glances away, uncomfortable with the sincere praise. This human doesn't even know him. "Whatever. Just get it off already," he grunts impatiently.
The human laughs again, and it's a nice sound. "Okay, okay."
He brings his hands up to the damn collar and fiddles with the clasp, but by the spark of confusion on Ryouta's face and the weight still around his neck, it's obvious the fucking thing isn't coming off so easily.
A few moments later, Ryouta admits defeat. "Sorry, it won't budge," he says apologetically, and Shougo can't detect any deceit.
Ugh. It'd be so much easier if the human was lying. Then all it would take is intimidation or bribery. But if it's really not coming off, then that's because the contract is more complex than he'd initially anticipated.
"It's fine," he says, grimacing. He'll just- figure something out. He then realizes Ryouta is still hovering entirely too close, staring with interest at the top of Shougo's head. "What," he grunts.
Ryouta gives him an innocent look. "I was just admiring your, uh, cat ears. May I...?" He asks, gesturing towards them.
Said ears twitch and then lower in displeasure. Why are humans always so fucking entranced by his feline-like features? They're just extra appendages. Back home, you can't go five feet without tripping over a demon with extra animal-like characteristics.
Rolling his eyes, Shougo says, flatly, "Fine. But don't yank them, or I'll gut you."
He doesn't usually allow humans to touch him, but these circumstances are far from normal. He needs this human amenable if he wants to get through this ordeal without any troubles. And he's getting a sinking feeling he's going to be stuck with him longer than a few hours.
Beaming, Ryouta reaches out a careful hand and brushes his fingers lightly over the left ear. It jerks away, completely out of Shougo's control, and Ryouta tries again, caressing the fluffy fur.
"They're so cool," Ryouta tells him breathlessly.
Shougo's neck grows hot, and his tail stands tall behind him, showcasing his pleasure. "Shut up," he grumbles. They're just ears.
Feeling bolder, Ryouta uses both hands to stroke Shougo's ears, and despite himself, his eyes droop closed. It takes him a while to realize he's letting out a deep, rumbling sound of content, lulled into it by clever fingers.
Mortified, he glances up and catches Ryouta watching him with a satisfied smile. He growls, slapping the human's hands away and glaring. "Fuck off."
"Sorry," he says, and Shougo wants to fucking deck him.
-o-
In consolation, Ryouta offers him coffee, and Shougo gladly accepts but doesn't give the perverted bastard the satisfaction of knowing he's even slightly sated.
He grudgingly follows him to the kitchen, thereby passing through a small hallway and the living room, confirming Shougo's theory that this is a swanky, expensive apartment. It's not exactly massive, but it's bigger than most humans at this age would be able to afford.
Ryouta begins making him a cup, and Shougo takes a seat at the bar, leaning forward on his elbows and watching the human work. "Lots of creamer and sugar," he says when Ryouta turns around to ask.
Ryouta smiles, amused. "I kind of expected you to drink it black," he admits at Shougo's questioning brow.
Shougo snorts, propping his head up in his hand. "What, like all badasses drink black coffee and ride motorcycles? Just because I like things that don't taste like shit doesn't mean I can't kick ass."
"Is that what you do? Kick ass?" Ryouta asks, setting down both their mugs on the counter and then sitting on a stool across from Shougo.
"Basically," Shougo says, and then he takes a long sip of his drink. It's good, and it soothes the chill that had settled in his bones after sleeping in that alley. "I track down rogue demons - criminals - and bring them back to be tried in the courts. They usually don't come back willingly," he explains further, compelled by the genuine interest on Ryouta's face.
"So you're a demon police officer?" He asks.
Shougo shrugs. "Guess you could say that. I prefer demon hunter, though."
Ryouta laughs. Again. How can any one person laugh so much? "Well, what brought you to my apartment, demon hunter?" He asks, coyly. "Or well, the sidewalk where I found you?"
Reminded of the utter failure of last night, Shougo scowls, gulping down the rest of his coffee before snapping, "None of your damn business."
He can't get too cozy here. He has to get this shitty collar off, and he can't waste time getting friendly with a random human. Even if that human is stupidly pretty. And interested in him. He's seen Ryouta glancing repeatedly at his bare legs, and almost every word out of his mouth is flirtatious.
But - Shougo doesn't plan on sticking around in this realm any longer than he has to, and he isn't one to start things he can't finish. Plus, well- he's a human.
So he ignores Ryouta's shock, and with some concentration, he calls forth the contract sealing his fate from a pocket dimension. It surges forth in a blast of light and floats serenely down. He snatches it out of the air, surprised at its small size, and begins reading.
"Fuck," he groans - with feeling. This contract makes Shougo a glorified fucking pet.
He has to either stay in Ryouta's apartment or be within fifteen feet of him at all times if he wants to leave. He can't harm him either, which he wouldn't normally do but might have done to get out of this. It runs out six months from now, but it says it might expire earlier if certain conditions are met. Of fucking course the conditions aren't spelled out for him. Only a dumbass would sign such a dubious contract, but once Ryouta put the damn collar on Shougo, it was as good as agreement on both sides.
There's a reason these artifacts have been banned. They give too much power to one party, and the other side rarely consents to its use.
Ugh. He knows just what his mother's up to. She's not just trapping him here. She's forcing him to stay close to a human, so he doesn't spend his exile hiding away and consorting with only demon kind. How far will she go to teach him this stupid fucking lesson? He'd rather take six months of therapy over this.
He burns the damning paper to a crisp and sighs, rubbing a hand over his face. Fucking great.
"Uh... So I guess that didn't go over well," Ryouta pipes up, nervously.
Shougo glances at his through the gaps between his fingers. "No," he says, sighing again. The hand moves up towards his bangs and runs through his hair. "Looks like you're stuck with me," he tells him bluntly, in no mood to sugar coat it, especially when it affects him too. "Because of this fucking thing," he gestures at the collar, "I have to stay within fifteen feet of you at all times. Unless I'm in your apartment."
"Oh," Ryouta says, and it takes a few weeks before Shougo realizes the glimmer in his eyes at the time means he's inordinately pleased.
Regardless, this... is how Haizaki Shougo begins living with Kise Ryouta. It's pretty much bound to end in disaster.
End Notes: This is so shamelessly self-indulgent. No need to pretend there's any substance in this rambling mess. Even as a demon, Haizaki's still a dork, and Kise's really not any better. Also! The reason he was walking around as a defenseless kitty cat will be explained!
If any of you are interested in this - or have ideas/suggestions for me! - then please let me know. Also, feel free to point out mistakes or contradictions; making up all the demon stuff while writing probably wasn't good for continuity. This will probably end up being three or four chapters, and I'll update whenever I cobble together another chapter.