Brit sent me the prompt "you don't need to protect me" on Tumblr, and I thought instead of writing a Tumblr drabble, I'd post it here as a ficlet, just to help me 'stay in shape' writing Leonard and Penny for my longer fic(s), as well as give those of you who subscribed to me here but don't necessarily follow me on Tumblr can read it too!
Disclaimer, blah blah you know the drill. ;)
"Hey, how was your day?"
"Eh," Leonard said, walking over to the kitchen and giving her a peck on the lips. "Lots of thinking about stuff, writing some of it down, putting some of it into action, actually, which is extremely productive given my limited access to the lab these days."
"Kripke's suspicious research that you suspect is just him wasting time to prevent you and Sheldon from doing anything?"
"That'd be correct."
"And is it also correct to assume most of this thinking about stuff, writing it down, and putting it into action has to do with some genius yet childish way to get back at him?"
"You're on fire."
She grinned triumphantly. "I had a bit of an interesting day myself."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. A bit of the same old, same old, but it got a bit intense. One of the men I was trying to sell to offered me a job if I slept with him."
"What sort of job?" Leonard asked. "Of course that's my first question," he said defensively when she raised her eyebrows. "I know you didn't sleep with him. Right?"
Penny rolled her eyes. "Of course not. The job would have paid more than my current one, but I figured as the breadwinner of the family, I was already doing enough. Supporting your pranks on Kripke and all that."
It was Leonard's turn to roll his eyes. "Very funny."
"But anyway, he got really angry at me. Said I touched his arm and that was essentially giving him 'all the signs' and then threatened me if I told anyone."
"Oh my God! We should call the police! No, no, they aren't helpful, here, I know!" Leonard puffed out his chest. "I'll be your bodyguard."
Penny burst into laughter.
"You know," Leonard said, "that'd really hurt my feelings if I didn't know that you could kill me with your little finger. But in all seriousness..."
"In all seriousness," Penny said, "you don't need to protect me. Actually..."
"What?"
"If you want to protect someone," Penny said, "protect him."
Leonard cocked his head. "What?"
"He's definitely going to be the one who needs a bodyguard," Penny said, a mischievous glint in her eye.
"Please elaborate."
"Well he gave me his phone to put my personal number in, and..." she smirked. "I recorded what he was saying to me and sent it to all the contacts in his phone that included some term of endearment in the contact name."
Leonard's jaw unhinged. "Oh my God!" He raised his fist, and she bumped it, grinning.