So. I didn't die! (for the people who are actually wondering where the heck i was). I really have no excuse... i blame it on school and SATS. ;A; whyyyy.
So, i wrote this a little after season 8 and... i never got the chance to put it up on here... And i really have bad timing. The season 8 spoilers are spreading like wildfire so...;;
Well. you clicked on this. I hope you'll enjoy it.
(And i never got the picture thing so i'm sorry for my icon picture? ._.)
Edit: fixed minor, minor errors. and Thanks to everyone that reviewed! ;A; really means a lot.
Purgatory is cold and dark, a hopeless place that has no light.
Dean doesn't know how long he stayed in purgatory with Castiel.
Maybe it's been a few days, weeks, or maybe even a month, but it doesn't matter. Dean is still stuck in purgatory with Cas.
Dean realizes that Cas talks in riddles. He murmurs about nature and peace quite often. Dean has no fucking idea what the bees' flight pattern has anything to do with fighting the creatures of purgatory. His frustration grows to its apex and it makes him raise his voice at Cas, who disappears after. Dean wants to scream, but he keeps his anger inside. He doesn't want to be found by anything and he needs to save his energy as well. When Cas eventually comes back, he starts to talk about wisteria, and how they have a beautiful shade of purple.
Dean tries not to look at Cas, but it's impossible. When Cas looks back at him—it's different, his eyes are glazed, and slightly unfocused; a thin barrier that protects Cas from reality. Dean tries to see through it, to see if there's a hint of his Cas in there but the angel slowly shifts his gaze down to his white shoes.
When they come across a monster, they run as fast as they can. The monsters in purgatory are far stronger than on earth. Dean doesn't have any weapons to defend himself with, and Cas tries to avoid any type of violence. Dean asks Cas to zap them away from the monsters, and they disappear in a flutter of wings.
They end up in a cave and Dean first breaks the silence by muttering that they're resting there for the day. Cas doesn't argue and stays quiet. Dean doesn't say anything else and wrap his arms around himself. He wants to go home back to Earth where there is food, hot showers, his Impala, and Sammy. Dean wants it all back—so desperately. Dean never knew when he drifted off to sleep, but he knew that the last thought he had in mind was to surrender. He closes his eyes and lets his weary mind take him away.
And he dreams…
Dean is suddenly in a field of daisies, on a hill where the grass is shiny and fresh, underneath a big oak tree. He looked up and saw that the sky was blue, with white puffy clouds floating peacefully. He first thinks that it's a Djinn that got him, but he hears the soft flutter of wings and Cas is beside him, sitting down, his back against the tree. Cas pats the patch of grass next to him and smiles at Dean. Dean is unsure what to do in this situation, but he sits down next to the angel, and sees him gently pluck out the daisies with his pale hands.
"This is my favorite flower, Dean," Cas whispers with the gentle breeze as he plucks out more daisies from their roots. "It's fragile, pretty, and it can be the symbol of innocence."
Dean glances at Cas then looks up at the sky. It's very similar to Cas' blue eyes.
Dean can't get his eyes off the sky. He continues to stare up, even if his eyes are slightly starting to hurt from the brightness of the blue. He is in such deep thoughts that he is startled slightly when he feels Cas' hands in his hair.
"I made it for you. It's a crown of daisies."
Dean runs his fingers through his hair and feels the stems and soft petals. He can't help but chuckle.
"Thanks, Cas."
"You're welcome, Dean."
Dean doesn't miss the spark in Cas' sky blue eyes.
When Dean wakes up, he feels physically better; his stiff muscles became loose, his deep scars are painless, and shockingly, he isn't hungry. It's actually the best sleep he had in a while.
He looks at Cas for an explanation, but the only angel stares impassively at Dean.
"We should get moving, Dean."
So that's what he does. He trudges along in the darkness with Cas, and he shivers each time their fingers brush.
Dean fucking hates vampires. A duo of those motherfuckers sniffed them out and chased them into a corner, not allowing them to escape. He's in panic-mode and yells at Cas to zap themselves away somewhere safe, but Cas shakes his head helplessly. And it finally hits Dean—Cas' grace is draining away.
They tried to fight the vampires, but Dean ends up with bloody gashes all over his body, and almost got -a- bitten. Cas' white, hospital uniform is stained with red, and the ends of his trench coat are ripped and shredded. They're lucky to be even alive right now.
"God dammit, Cas," Dean speaks up, his voice dry and hoarse. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"
Cas looks at him and Dean actually sees Cas. He doesn't dare to move his gaze.
"I'm sorry, Dean." Cas' voice is so soft, and so superfluous of regret, laced with guilt.
Dean doesn't say anything back to Cas. The three words have a deeper meaning than it seems to and Dean knows. Dean wants to say that it's ok, but his lips aren't parting, and he doesn't trust his voice. He knows that it's not ok.
So he closes his eyes and leans against a lifeless tree.
And he dreams…
He's back in the field of daisies again, and Cas is next to him, mindlessly plucking at the lively grass. Dean easily notices the distance; Cas is not sitting as close to Dean as before. The angel's knees are up to his chest, and his arms are wrapped around them tightly.
Dean sits down awkwardly next to Cas, then plucks out a daisy and silently gives it to him. It's a fucking chick-flick moment but he doesn't give a damn right now for some odd reason. Cas puts it behind his ear, but his face is still a void of emotion.
Up above them, the sky is an uneasy gray, with heavy, dark clouds rumbling angrily.
"I'm sorry, Dean."
The heavens open up and raindrops fall from the sky. It's pouring.
The rain turns Cas' hair black, and his trench coat into a darker brown. From his slouched position, he looks defeated, lost, and alone.
Dean takes off his leather jacket and puts it over the angel's head.
"It's ok, Cas. It's ok."
Cas glances at him and gives Dean an infinitesimal smile. They sit in the rain quietly, but peacefully.
When Dean wakes up, his body is returned to its normal healthy state yet again. No bloody gashes were found on his body, but his clothes were still ruined. Dean looks at Cas to see if he healed, but Cas still has the gruesome scars. Dean knows why Cas is saving up his grace, but he will never question it. The duo continues to walk again, into the endless pitch black.
"Did you know that male wolves and dogs knot when they mate?" Cas suddenly announces the fact and Dean looks at him as if he'd grown another head.
"Thanks for that information," Dean mutters sarcastically.
"I think the knot would be painful at first, but I think the females would get used to it. Perhaps they would even feel pleasure."
"For fuck's sake, Cas! Don't talk about unnecessary shit!" Dean blushes slightly while he subconsciously visualizes wolves copulating.
"I just thought …" Cas' voice drifts away and Dean is quite thankful for it. He doesn't need trivia of wolves having sex.
"How long have we been in purgatory?" Dean changes the topic, and his voice turns serious.
"I'm not certain."
Dean closes his eyes. It's hard to believe they were here for almost three fucking weeks. It felt like a year with never ending hopelessness. He's just so tired.
Dean closes his eyes and thinks about home.
And he dreams…
He's back to his usual place in the fields and Cas is sitting under the oak tree. He sits next to Cas, but none of them speak for a long time.
"I have a question, Cas," Dean says softly as he pulls out a daisy from its roots. "Why…Why would you use the last of your grace just to make the dreams?"
The blue sky meets the green forest. "Is it not obvious, Dean?" Cas makes a ring with the daisy Dean plucked out and slides it effortlessly on Dean's ring finger.
Dean stares at the daisy on his finger and doesn't say—can't say—anything afterward. He instead lets the gentle wind carry him away with his thoughts.
Dean doesn't ask how long they stayed in purgatory again. He now has a scruffy beard, and his clothes are ripped apart and dirty. But never mind that. Dean notices that more creatures are suddenly starting to come out from the darkness. He and Cas had to run away at least six times today. Both of them are bloody, drenched in sweat and exhaustion. Cas can't heal himself anymore, or Dean. Dean knows Cas' grace is finally drained out, yet he still vaguely dreams of the fields every time he sleeps.
"Is it some special day for purgatory or are the 'Purgatorians' really hungry?" Dean questions while he scratches off a dirty scab on his arm.
"I think...I think the door is opening. That's why they're coming out-to get to earth."
Dean is astonished. Hope sparks within him and his heart beating fast with excitement. "The door is opening? Where?" He doesn't even bother trying to hide the tremor is his voice.
"I'm unsure. It can open anywhere."
"Then let's try to find it." Dean holds Cas' wrist and walks. Dean knows he's going back home today.
Just when Dean was going to lose hope again, the door opens, and it's rather quite close to them. He faintly hears Sam's voice yelling out his name and Dean feels like crying in joy. He runs and reaches for the light, but feels a sharp, immense pain in his ankle. He turns around and sees a leviathan biting on his ankle and he screams in pain. He kicks the leviathan with his free foot, but the creature resists. Finally the strong jaw suddenly lets go.
Now Cas' screams fill the air. Dean spins back to help but he's being pushed into the light. The light feels warm and pleasant, so different from the frigidness of Purgatory. He feels strong arms wrap around him securely. Dean abruptly feels intense fatigue, so he closes his eyes, while whispering Cas' name and then passes out.
The last thing Dean hears is the high pitch of an angel's scream, echoing in his ears.
And he dreams…
Dean dreams of the field of daisies, but it's all wrong. The sky is a sharp blue that makes his eyes sting; there are no white puffy clouds as well, only endless blue. The grass is the same green, but it isn't as lively and fresh as before. The beautiful daisies are slightly wilted, the petals browning on the edges. More importantly, there's no one up on the hill sitting under the big oak tree.
Cas isn't here.
Dean still walks up the hill and sits down on his usual spot.
"Cas, get your feathery ass down here," Dean calls the angel, quietly.
He waits, and waits, for a very long time.
But he never hears the soft flutter of wings.