Lassie in the Twenty-First Century.
These days Lassie would use a pencil between her teeth to dial HRS. The conversation would go like this.
"HRS speaking."
"Woof, woof....woof woof woof WOOF. Arf arf ARF arf, whine, whine, pant pant pant, WOOF!"
Er excuse me, while I go find someone who can interpret Canineneese.
A few moments later, "Ok. Repeat what you just said."
"Woof, woof....woof woof woof WOOF. Arf arf ARF arf, whine, whine, pant pant pant, WOOF!"
"I see, a little boy named Timmy is being put into heinous danger by neglectful parents. He fell in a well. WHAT ! Twenty-five times? And he got trapped in a mine shaft four times! And he has had a tree fall on him eight times? Just what were his parents thinking, letting that accident prone little munchkin out of their sight for a nanosecond!" Could you report the location of this neglect?
Woof woof woof woof.
I see. Two miles east of the house with that really big Labrador. Right turn at the 3 mail boxes that have poodle pee on them, and then do a dog trot left at the big oak tree with this really interesting smell at its base, (might have been a bob cat). I'm sorry, but we really do need a street address.
Lassie says, "arf," and runs outside, her hair flowing in the wind, with the strains of Green sleeves playing poignantly in the background. She goes out and gazes with her deep sensitive eyes at the address on the house. (Zoom in, close up of her face). After all, she is a dog. Did you expect her to have this information memorized?
She comes back. "woof, woof, woof, Arf. Woof"
"Got it. The address is 1862 Cherry lane, Smallville. (The HRS officer is now thinking to herself, Cheese! We had another complaint out that way last week. Some kid named Clark, was stealing cars by picking them up and walking off with them. Another case of inadequate supervision. And then there was the case last month with the kid on Cherry Lane who kept insisting he had a pet dragon. Psychotic. At his age! Just what is it with these people out that way? It must be inbreeding) " Ok Sir we're send a social worker and a police officer immediately."
"Woof woof woof."
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