The black haired boy was standing in the main exercise hall, all exhausted and panting. It was near midnight, and everyone else had left. But Hisagi had stayed long after all the others had left, feeling the urge to become stronger, stronger and stronger... He couldn't bear the memory of being unable to protect his friends as well as those he was in charge of. As well as... His lips formed a thin line, being pressed together firmly. He just couldn't allow that to happen twice.

If Aizen-taichou and Ichimaru-fukutaichou hadn't arrived at that very moment... He shuddered and rose to his feet again. One more time. He wanted to master this certain technique this evening.

But he was interrupted.

"Senpai?"

The senior twitched and then turned slowly to face the door. Kira was standing there. How long had he...?

Putting down the books he had been carrying, the younger man entered the hall and walked towards Hisagi. He looked slightly worried.

But the senior didn't want to be watched, didn't want anyone to see him struggling like this. "You should go get some sleep."

"As should you."

"Just a little bit more-"

"No." The blond had reached the older and slid his arms around his waist. "You should really go to bed now. Otherwise, you won't be able to do ianything/i tomorrow. Neither attending classes nor doing more exercising." The younger mans chin came to rest at his senpai's shoulder. "You should really go get some sleep now."

Shuuhei was struggling to free himself from the seemingly light but despite its looks rather firm grip to continue training. But he didn't put so much effort into it, despite the fact that the younger man's actions confused him.

The sensation of Kira's body leaning against his back, of slender fingers pressed to his belly, wasn't really unpleasant. Not at all, rather intriguingly comfortable...

He relaxed a little.

"Maybe you're right... " But he didn't move. He didn't want to, and, taking into consideration that the shorter student was still holding him tight, Kira didn't want him to, either. Feeling the other's calming presence, he noticed just how tense he had been before.

But, as he realized all of a sudden, the warmth emanating from the thin form pressing against his back was heating up his body, and made him sweat even more. Which meant... He felt his cheeks burn while he restarted his efforts to free himself.

"Kira? Could you please let go of me, I..." His voice trailed off, when he felt the other tensing.

"I'm sorry, senpai, I didn't mean to... It was just... I'm sorry." The voice carried a feeling of being hurt and Shuuhei could hear the insecurity in those words.

The arms were removed from his waist, or at least, Kira made the attempt, but Hisagi held them in place.

"No, no!" He sighed slightly. Again, he was doing everything wrong... "It is just that I have been training kido as well as kendo for hours now and that I'm all sweaty and I smell horrible, and I think I should take a shower... And by the way you should go to sleep as well, I'm really okay, I just overdid it a little..."

Kira didn't answer. Instead, Shuuhei felt the blonds breath ghosting over his earlobe, and then, there was a hot tongue licking smoothly down his neck, soft lips lightly sucking the sensitive skin. The black haired stirred and didn't dare to move, he didn't even dare to breathe.

"Ki... ra?" It wasn't that the sensation of being touched that way was uncomfortable. It wasn't that it was new to him, either... Or maybe it was. Normally it was him who did it. Having someone doing it to him wasn't bad at all. Just...

First, this was the main training grounds. Not the most private or hidden place one could be in.

Second, he was Kira's senior. Although they had talked much since that incident during the times Kira had visited him at the 4th division and despite their shared experience, their relationship had still remained formal. Because though finding that they had much in common and a similar view on many things, they remained who they were: Hisagi too used to being a loner and better off that way and Kira too much respecting ranks and hierarchy. There had been nothing than that.

Although Hisagi wasn't oblivious to the blonde's quiet worry about him, he would have never considered it to be more than worry about an injured comrade.

Third...

The younger one's fingers had worked their way up to his chest, roaming over the few skin that had become exposed when his Gi had become loose during the training. And suddenly Hisagi realized that he had leaned back against the shorter form, that his head had tilted to the side to expose more skin to Kira's smooth lips.

Bright blue orbs hit him like hammers when he turned his head to direct his eyes at Kira's. For moments, he couldn't do anything but stare at them. Why, just why had he never noticed how stunning they were? Why had he never come to appreciate the keen, caring way they looked at him so openly and directly?

"But you don't need to take a shower, senpai. You're quite tasty like this..." The blond chuckled softly.

Confused dark eyes blinked. "...Tasty?"

"You taste of ocean and work and effort and strength. You really taste the way you are." He smiled smugly. "I like it."

"But..."

Third.

"What about that girl?"

"Momo?"

"Uhm, yes, that too..."

A short, sad laugh. "She's head over heels for Aizen-taichou, since she first saw him... Plus there is this little boy that watches over her from time to time whom I guess to be this Shiro-chan she is often talking about... He looks crazy about her and I really don't want to get in the way of his death glare." He chuckled quietly, but still sadly. "But why "too"?"

"I thought..." He freed himself from Kira's hold to turn and look at him directly. "I mean, I... I would have never supposed that you like boys." It was out, and Hisagi nearly bit his lower lip. Never in his life he had felt so stupid for saying something.

"Why not?" Hands hanging loosely at his sides now, the blond looked up towards him.

"I don't know." He shook his head helplessly. "Just everything... For example... You seem to be very close to that red haired friend of yours, yet there isn't anything but friendship between you two... At least as far as I know..."

"Renji?" Kira folded his arms over his chest. "Yes. He's a very good friend of mine, and I can't think of anything else than that... But why should I? He's a boy as sure as you and me, but you're different from him in so many ways. Saying so, people feel attracted by people, not by their gender, right?"

The answer was a indifferent shrug of Hisagi's shoulders. He really didn't know. He had never felt attracted to anyone. He had been watching others having a crush on others or dating, there had been even people confessing their love to him... But he had never felt that way himself. He wasn't oblivious to the fact that sex was much fun actually, but that was it.

Responsibility, friendship, loyalty. Distrust, disgust, animosity. Hisagi could have feelings, even strong feelings, toward others. But not so strong ones as love or hate.

He just couldn't.

He tried to explain that to Kira that night, tried to make it clear that even if he would never say "I love you", Kira might become the most important person in his life eventually.

And now, so many, many years later, he looked down at this broken, way too thin form slumped against the wall. And he realized, that the unthinkable had happened.

This hatred for Kira's -now- former captain, this worry, this urge to support the blond and heal his wounds... Those strong feelings he felt nearly unable to bear...

Those feelings might really be love.