Author: Lilly (who else would it be?)
Title: Summer Thunder
Pairing: CaRWash, of course
Summary: The only good thing about summers, for me, are the thunderstorms, that provide relief from the heat. And Ryan, and the time we have to spend together. I don't know what I'd do without him. He's my own thunderstorm, in the middle of a hot, humid, crappy summer.
Disclaimer: It's summer, so can I kind of say that they're not CBS' right now? Nah? Just checking
A/N: I've been writing pretty angsty stuff lately, so here's a little fluff. It doesn't get really fluffy until the end, but it's still a cute CaRWash moment fic. Also plays on Calleigh and Ryan's friendship, which I like as much as CaRWash. Listen to the song as you read. 'Thunder' by Boys Like Girls, a great song. Reviews make me happy, and I write a lot when I'm happy, so please review?
Mas: I grew up on the West coast, and still live here, but my aunt and uncle live in Miami, and I've spent summers there. There aren't a lot of thunderstorms, but there is a lot of rain, and it's definitely hot and humid. I've seen one thunderstorm there, but it's fanfiction. Hehe. ;)
Summer Thunder
Summertime in Miami brings more then the sun out. The heat, indescribable, unbearable, searing heat, that creeps upon the city beginning in June and lasts until late September. With the heat comes humidity, the heavy, moist and still air, the sweat, and the uncomfortable feeling of clothes clinging to sticky skin. There is almost no breeze, no movement, and the stillness; the no-way-out feeling that the heat paired with humidity brings upon the city is horrible. The beaches are often empty, because it's so hot that many stay inside and wait for the cooler winters, when the water's still warm and the sun isn't so powerful. Summers are almost intolerable; they are excruciating and agonizing, especially in the field. While the lab is air conditioned, the fieldwork becomes a burden, and we beg Horatio for indoor crime scene assignments. Most of us use our rollover off days for a week or two off when it gets really bad and the weather forecast tells of no respite, just to be able to stay indoors. I usually was the first to take a week off, in August. I grew up in the South, and am so used to the blistering heat that I've begun to wish Miami had snow in the winters. The heat is bearable for me, but the humidity is terrible, and like nothing I've ever seen. I request lab days, indoor assignments, and days off when the temperature rises above 110. It's too much to handle. I hate summers.
The only breaks the summers provide from the intolerable heat are the thunderstorms. In Miami, it's constantly raining, on and off, throughout the day. However, as summer rolls around, rain is accompanied by thunderstorms, and lightning, where the sky lights up and the rolling thunder reminds everyone that rain, some relief, is on it's way. I've begun to love the thunderstorms, and venture outside, onto the beach, when they hit. The temperature cools down and the wind gets excited, as breeze runs through the normally painfully still air. They remind me that the heat will go away, and that until it does, I can find some shelter in the cool air they provide. But unless a thunderstorm hits, the heat is menacing. There's only one person at the lab who can handle the summers without taking time off, without complaining.
Ryan's from Boston, so he grew up in harsh, painfully cold winters, with warm summers and little sun. He spent his childhood days in the snow, and probably moved to Miami to escape some of the bitter cold. When it gets too hot for most of us to stand, he comes into work glowing, and beaming. 'It's a nice day today, isn't it, Cal?' he'll quip.
God… Ryan. Just thinking about him makes my heart flutter. Not that I ever stop thinking about him. In fact, he's all I think of these days. His smile, his bright, beautiful eyes, his voice, deep and heartwarming, and the way he looks at me, as if I'm the only person in the world to look at. I try to remember back to when we weren't best friends, but it seems like impossibly long ago. I liked him from the first day I met him. He was a sweet kid, and all he wanted to do was find a place for himself, and do some good in the world. He was a clean, innocent heart. And even in light of recent events, events that make me question his morals, I still find myself consumed with him, hanging on to him. The world crashes down around us, and yet, I still see his golden face as the light at the end of the tunnel.
Today is a winding road that's taking me to places that I didn't want to go
Whoa
Today in the blink of an eye, I'm holding on to something and I do not know why
I tried
I cling to our friendship as my roots, my strong, steady foundation that I know will never break. However confusing, however bleak and dark the world around us gets, he keeps me grounded. I don't know where I would be without his friendship. We spend every free second together, whether at a bar, drinking and laughing, or a club- where we sit together, and not surprisingly, no guys ask me to dance- at the movies, playing mini-golf, running errands, shopping, or out to dinner together. Everyone thinks we're a couple, and yet, it's funny to us. We hold hands while we're out; we flirt relentlessly, and when people ask us if we're together, he puts his arm around me and says, matter-of-factly, 'what do you think?' Our friendship is perfect where it's at, and though the persistent flirting and cuddling might make other friends seem awkward, it's just the way we are.
You could say we're close. We're best friends, so I guess we must be. We've been best friends for two years now, and I can't imagine my life without him in it. I should be happy, I should love the place we're at and want nothing more. Ryan Wolfe loves me like a sister, and I love him like a brother.I tell him everything that goes on in my life, and he's confided secrets in me that he hasn't trusted to anyone else. And yet, he's something more, there's something missing from 'us' for me. I wish I could forget what it is, just be happy with the way things are, but I can't. I'm selfish, I guess. He already loves me. But I want him to love me love me.
I tried to read between the lines
I tried to look in your eyes
I want a simple explanation
For what I'm feeling inside
I gotta find a way out
Maybe there's a way out
I know that it shows, too. Alexx was the first to approach me about it, as expected. Then Natalia pulled me aside at the Christmas party, asking if we were going to hook up that night, and I laughed in her face. Horatio called me into his office and told me that he wanted me to be happy no matter what, but that since IAB were tight-asses about relationships, that I should be careful. Eric asked me if Ryan and I were dating not long after, and I know the lab techs were- and still are- buzzing. Everyone notices the way we act, and yet I still feel compelled to find something more in our relationship. I want so badly to find a way to be content, but it's difficult, and I've struggled to get past my feelings for him. We can't be together, for many reasons. The integrity of the lab hangs in the balance, as well as our friendship. If we were to break up, I could never feel as close to him as I have, and I know things would change dramatically. Ryan's too good of a friend to sabotage for a relationship. However much I need him in my life, I know I have to settle for friendship. I need that friendship almost as much as I need his love. His being there for me reminds me that I'll always have someone there for me, even when things are at their worst. Through boyfriends, breakups, heartbreaks, family problems, financial problems, and even nights when I feel rotten and just need a shoulder to lean on, Ryan's there. I talk to him for hours every night, and when I need him sitting next to me, he somehow knows. I don't even have to say anything. I'll call him up, and don't even have to open my mouth. 'I'll be right over, Cal,' he'll say, and he'll be at my doorstep in five minutes. I don't know what I'd do without him. He's my own thunderstorm, in the middle of a hot, humid, crappy summer.
Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer
Do you know you're unlike any other?
You'll always be my thunder, and I said
Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors
I don't wanna ever love another
You'll always be my thunder
So bring on the rain
And bring on the thunder
At the beginning of August, when the weather forecast warned of high 90s low 100s temperatures, I decided to ask Horatio for my week off. It was a Friday afternoon, and I had just arrived back at the lab from fieldwork. As I was making my way to his office, Ryan caught up with me and walked beside me, informing me of recent advances in our current case. His stride fell into rhythm with mine. He smiled as he spoke to me, and gently took my hand as he closed up the folder. I ran my thumb over the top of his hand and stopped him in his tracks. He was wearing a white polo shirt, one that fit him nicely. His hair was damp from all the moisture in the air, and spiked up in the way I liked. I looked at the ground, then back at his glowing, smiling face.
"Hey Ryan, I'm... I'm taking my week off, starting Monday. It's just too hot."
He nodded. "I was wondering when you were going to take a break." I could tell he was disappointed. There was no way he was taking any time off when just about everyone else in the lab was desperate to. He had been looking forward to taking off a week with me, and I had told him I would if the summer turned out mild.
"I'm sorry, I just can't spend every day of this summer in the blistering heat. It's too much." He played with the ring on my finger, twisting it around. He had given it to me last Christmas, and we called it our 'engagement ring.' It was a friendship ring, really.
"Cal, it's no problem. Delko can take up what's left of this case, we'll finish it off." He winked at me, and allowed my hand to fall from his. "We've basically got the guy anyway. He's just itching to confess."
I smiled at him. "Thanks for understanding."
"Of course. If you're ever in the mood for drinks, or to meet me for lunch during your vacation, gimme a call." With that he waved and left, turning down the hall.
Today is a winding road
Tell me where to start and tell me something I don't know
Whoa
Today I'm on my own
I can't move a muscle and I can't pick up the phone
I don't know
But I couldn't call him. I cooked frozen meals, watched bad soap operas and rented videos. I ate ice cream, and stayed up late, curled up on the couch in front of the television. I wanted to go out, to do something, but I couldn't bring myself to. It was impossible for me to look him in the eye and know that we would always be just friends.
The summer was unbearable, even inside. My air conditioning broke halfway through the week, and I ran out of ice cream on Wednesday. The humidity hit me, even through the walls, and I began to take ice cold baths to ease the blistering heat. Jenna, from the bar on Ocean, called on Thursday, and I was on the way to the bar in five minutes. My dad had gotten drunk again, after he lost a big case. Jake texted me that night and asked if I wanted to go to a party with him, since he was in my area. He could even pick me up on the way there. I told him I was sick and prayed Ryan would call. I knew I was supposed to call him, but it felt good to have him call me, because I knew he was thinking of me, and wanted to talk to me.
And now I'm itching for the tall grass
And longing for the breeze
I need to step outside
Just to see if I can breathe
I gotta find a way out
Maybe there's a way out
I longed for a thunderstorm, to be able to escape the heat, to get outside and feel the rain pouring down over me. I wanted the skies to fill with clouds, and the thunder to roll and boom across the horizon. I wanted the flash of lightning, brightening the sky and splitting it down the middle with a crack. Most of all I wanted Ryan. I wanted to feel his arms, strong, around me, pulling me away from everything, providing me the relief I so desperately needed.
Yeah I'm walking on a tightrope
I'm wrapped up in vines
I think we'll make it out
But you just gotta give me time
Strike me down with lightning
Let me feel you in my veins
I wanna let you know how much I feel your pain
My hands shook as I finally picked up the phone, Saturday night. I knew he would probably be out, either with Eric, watching the game, or with Maxine and Natalia, getting some drinks. He liked to spend Saturdays out of the house, and though he's usually with me, he would find someone else. Ryan is a social guy, and though his acceptance into the lab was hesitant, and rough on him, he's friendly and people like to be around him. I even called him one night to find that he and Horatio had gone for dinner, and Horatio didn't spend his nights with just anyone.
He answered on the first ring, and, with his telepathic, psychic way of doing so, told me he'd be right over. I was crying, and I couldn't figure out why. But, as always, he was there in five minutes. He knocked once, but he had his own key, and was by my side in seconds. He sat down on the bed next to me, and put his arm around me.
"I'm sorry I called you out of… whatever you were doing." I said, sniffling. He raised his hand and gently wiped my tears away.
"I was waiting for you to call," he said, gently.
"Ryan…" I said, my lip quivering. "I- there's something I… I have to tell-"
"Shhh," he said, raising his finger to my lips. "I know."
Today is a winding road that's taking me to places that I didn't want to go
Whoa
"Calleigh, I can read you like a book. I've been waiting for you to tell me, because I didn't want to force it out of you."
I smiled up at him. His hair was pushed forward, and it looked cute. He cradled me in his chest, and kissed my forehead. I rested my hand on his waist. This was how it was supposed to be.
"I love you, Calleigh Duquesne."
He pulled me back against the pillows, and lay me down underneath him. He didn't hesitate, but he paused for a second, as if to remember the moment. Then he leaned down, and I leaned up, and our lips crashed together. His hand snaked underneath me, and rubbed my back, holding me close to him. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and pulled him closer. Our mouthes opened, our tongues snaked together, and I could feel his hands, cool and soothing on my back. It's a wonderful feeling, to be loved.
"I love you, Ryan Wolfe. And I was supposed to say it first."
"It's too bad, I guess," he said, resting back on his legs. He was positioned above me, his forehead resting against mine. "I guess you'll just have to say it again." And I did. His lips found mine again, even in the dim lit room. I could hear thunder roll outside, feel the rain pelting the roof, and see, even through closed eyes, lightning, splitting the sky in two.
All summer I'd struggled with my feelings for him, and all along, he had been waiting for me. I couldn't imagine what he had gone through to end up there, kissing me in my condo. All that mattered was that he was there, with me. No matter how bad everything else got, I would always have Ryan to keep me grounded. And even though our relationship was changing- neither of us could deny it- we were both excited. He is the thunderstorm in the middle of my hot, humid, crappy summer- the summer's filled with thunderstorms. And when I think about it, I realize that summer's aren't so bad after all.
Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer
Do you know you're unlike any other?
You'll always be my thunder, and I said
Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors
I don't wanna ever love another
You'll always be my thunder, and I said
Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer
Do you know you're unlike any other?
You'll always be my thunder
So bring on the rain
Oh baby bring on the pain
And listen to the thunder