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¦Her field of Paper flowers¦
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¦Author's Note¦
Well, I lied when I said I was going to be doing Slipping Away. I got bored of it already, so that's not good. I really like this one, so I will probably be sticking to this one. Also, Together, Let's walk forward's next chapter should be out soon for those of you who care.
¦Warnings¦
This chapter involves:
-Swearing
-Discussion of suicider
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¦Not all scars show, Not all wounds heal, sometimes you can't always see the pain someone feels¦
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If you asked someone to use one word to describe Mizuki Nakamura, they would use Happy. She was happy until 6 months ago. Now, she can't even really remember what it felt like.
So what could happen to someone that would make them so.. Numb? Was she raped? Was it really some sort of act? No. It is neither of those. She witnessed something horrible. So horrible that she was placed in Oceanside Group Home.
'Hell hole' as the patients so fondly call it, is a place where 'troubled' teens go. Mizuki oddly enough, liked it there. They tell her what to do, so she was able to wander around blindly. The only thing she didn't like was how they kept trying to get her to 'talk'.
The only thing that kept her from flipping out was her friend Sakura. When a person first meets Sakura, they are insanely surprised to find out that she was sent to Oceanside. Not Mizuki though. Even though they have only known each other for a short period of time, they know each other quite well.
They are able to feel normal together, which is what they both need for different reasons. They need to feel and act normal.
"So Sakura, what were you like before you came to Oceanside?" Mrs. Watanabe asked Sakura during the latest group session. All 10 of them were seated in a circle. Sakura looked at Mizuki and smirked.
"I was a whore. The real reason I tried to commit suicide was because I was pregnant. I didn't want my child to grow up being the child of a whore." Sakura said in a serious tone. Mizuki laughed as Mrs. Watanabe rubbed her temples.
"Last week you told use that you tried to commit suicide because they didn't give you enough french fries at McDonalds." Sakura nodded her head gravely. "I wanted my money's worth." She said simply. The nurse sighed and looked as if she wanted to rip her hair out.
"And the week before you said you didn't like the size of you TV." Sakura looked everyone in the eye. "It was to small." She replied as she crossed her arms. Mizuki looked at Sakura and tried her hardest not to burst into laughter.
"Are there any other reasons as to why you tried to commit suicide?" The nurse asked and Sakura nodded her head. "The light bulbs in my room were to bright." Mrs. Watanabe's eye twitched as she wrote something down in her notebook.
"But seriously. I think it is time I tell everyone the real reason why I tried to take my life. A black cat crossed my path." The nurse rolled her eyes and everyone else in the group glared at Sakura. "A black cat?" Mrs. Watanabe repeated and Sakura nodded her head.
"Actually, it was more like a white cat." Sakura muttered and Mizuki snorted. "Seriously. I have had enough of this bullshit. I am sick and tired of her mocking this. I don't give a fuck why she tried to kill herself." said Rin. Rin was an odd person. No matter how many times she had a shower, she always looked dirty. Sakura rolled her eyes and leaned closer to Mizuki.
"I say someone should put her out of her misery." She whispered. "I will supply the knife." Mizuki whispered back. They were about to laugh, but were cut off by a glare from Mrs. Watanabe.
"Ok. Let's just move on. Mizuki, why don't you tell us what you were like before you came to Oceanside." Mrs. Watanabe asked and Mizuki sighed in boredom.
"I was like a teenager." She said. "What did you do?" Mrs. Watanabe asked patiently. Mizuki hid a smirk behind her hand. She knew that Mrs. Watanabe was pretty much on her last nerve.
"Stuff." Mizuki replied.
¦Flashback¦
"Kazuma!" Mizuki yelled as she ran towards her only friends. Kuwabara, Yusuke, and Shuichi turned around at her voice. "Hey Mizuki." They said as she caught up to them.
"So, how did you do on your test Kuzuma?" She asked excitedly. Mizuki and Kuwabara spent all yesterday and last night studying for it. Mizuki was hoping that he did well, it would have been a shame if he didn't.
"I got 58! Thank you for helping me study Mizuki!" Kuwabara said and Mizuki almost fell down. "Why are you thanking me? I did horrible. You should have at least got 70. I'm sorry Kazuma. I failed as you tutor." Mizuki said and hung her head in shame. Shuichi chuckled and patted her on the shoulder.
"You did fine Mizuki." He said and Mizuki blushed. Kuwabara smiled, completely oblivious to her mini melt down that happened seconds ago. " It is probably the highest mark he has ever gotten." Yusuke said. Mizuki smiled brightly at them. Although she never told them, she was happy they were her friends.
"Your really short." Kuwabara said as he looked down at her. Everyone but Mizuki sweat dropped. "Maybe I am not short. It could just be that you are to tall."
¦End of flashback¦
"What kind of stuff did you do?" Mrs. Watanabe asked, her patience hanging by a thin thread. Mizuki shrugged her shoulders. "Teenager stuff." She replied.
It was true, Mizuki greatly enjoyed making the nurses mad, but she really didn't want to talk to 8 strangers about her life. Mizuki felt that none of them, except for Sakura, really cared what she was like before they knew her. Really the person she was 6 months ago is completely different from the person she is now.
"Ok, let's try a different approach. Why don't you tell everyone why you tried to commit suicide?" Mrs. Watanabe asked. Mizuki went stiff at the question. No one but Sakura knew why she tried to kill herself, and she wanted to keep it that way.
"I am here because… Burger Kind didn't put enough pickles on my burger." Mizuki replied with a smirk. Rin put her hands up dramatically. "Fuck this. They are making a mockery out of us all. Some of us really want to get better." She said and Mrs. Watanabe glared at Mizuki.
"Group session is over for now. Mizuki, see Mrs. Ito in an hour." Mrs. Watanabe said as she stood up. Everyone stood up and glared at Mizuki. Sakura rolled her eyes. "Like any of you actually like group therapy." She said as everyone left the room.
When everyone was gone, Sakura threw her arms around Mizuki's shoulders. "You are amazing." She said and Mizuki rolled her eyes. "Let me go." She said and Sakura let go of her shoulders.
"I never even thought about the pickle thing. Can I use it sometime?" Sakura asked. "Knock yourself out." Mizuki replied and started to walk to her room.
¦1 hour later¦
"Mizuki. I think it is time that you left Oceanside." The head nurse, Mrs. Ito said. Mizuki nodded her head. 'It's about time.' She thought. "We feel that we can't help you." Mrs. Ito said as she stood up and walked around the room.
"This is a place where we help you, help yourself. You don't want to help yourself yet." Mizuki nodded her head. She wasn't really paying attention, she stopped after Ms. Ito said she was allowed to leave.
"This may cause problems for you in the future, but when you are ready please remember that our doors are always open for you." Again, Mizuki nodded her head. Although she would never admit it to anyone, she really admired Mrs. Ito.
Mrs. Ito lost her husband 10 years ago because he committed suicide. So instead of getting all depressed and what not, she opened Oceanside Group home. So she could help those who had tried and failed at killing themselves.
"Now I realize that you don't have anywhere to stay. So I thought about putting you with a family that you already know. I was looking at Mr. Shuichi Minamino's family and asking them if they were willing to board you." The blood drained from Mizuki's face and her palms started to get sweaty. Mrs. Ito laughed and shook her head.
"But then I realized home much anxiety that would cause you, so I got you your own apartment." Mizuki sighed in relief. "Thank you Mrs. Ito." She said and Mrs. Ito's smile wavered.
"It really is nothing Mizuki. Please just be careful." Mrs. Ito said and Mizuki nodded her head. "I will be." Mrs. Ito stood and offered Mizuki her hand.
"You will be discharged tomorrow." She said as Mizuki shook her hand.
'I'm leaving. Wow.' Mizuki thought as she left the room. 'I can't believe it. I'm leaving. I will probably be going back to my old neighborhood. Do any of my friends know what happened on Dec.13?' Mizuki slowly walked to her room. Leaving caused her joy and anxiety. The thought of running into her old friends scared her.
'What would they think?' She thought. 'When they see me now? I have changed so much, physically and personality wise. Would they be able to recognize me?' Mizuki was so consumed with her thoughts that she didn't notice Sakura waiting outside her room, eating an apple.
"So your free after only 6 months." She stated, snapping Mizuki out of her daze. "Yeah." Mizuki replied and stood beside Sakura. It was an odd sight because Mizuki was 5'8 and Sakura was 5'0. So pretty much, from far away it looked like a mother and child.
"That's cool." Sakura said and threw her apple core on the floor. "I guess." Mizuki replied with a shrug of her shoulders.
"Are you scared?" Sakura asked. Mizuki laughed bitterly and turned to look at Sakura. "Shitless."
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