Hello :) to anyone interested on my Naruto stories.. let's just say I'm not ready but I'm considering a few plot bunnies.
Para quem estiver interessada nas minhas estórias do Naruto, eu ainda não estou escrevendo nada mas estou considerando algumas idéias. Se tiver alguma coisa boa postarei provavelmente em Por Outros Olhos.
English is not my first language and to be honest I'm a bit rusty at writting using it, so be kind if you can :) Also I'm in need of a beta reader so if someone could do this favor for me... it's been a long while since I published anything so I'm slowly catching up to things.
Please feel free to comment, and thank you for reading
Kintsugi
"Art of mending broken pottery with lacquer and powered gold"
Her breath hitched and stuttered, her glasses were foggy .. she clenched her keys in her hands, the dull pain almost felt like enough to ground her. To keep her right here, kneeling by her front door..while all her pieces struggled to fly apart.
The half darkness of her living room seemed like a companion, embracing and helping to hide this moment of weakness. When she couldn't breath, see or feel anything but the sadness and finality of this night.
Why? No matter what happened she always, always…God damn always lost him?
To Laurel, Sara, sadness, his demons, bullets, swords and impossible choices and, right now, to something he just wouldn't explain?
How many times could she say goodbye to him? How many times could he disappear or die before she died with him?
Because this gut wrenching animal hurt that doubled her over and until she touched her forehead to the living room floor, she was not sure how much more of it she could withstand. She was not strong enough…and the thought came poisonous and insidious
Would she ever be enough for a man she loved to stay?
She knew this feeling of lacking; of not good enough… of never good enough had daddy issues written all over it. But when the men she loved chose anything but her, when the man she gave her all – love, loyalty, time - chose to die over staying with her…again. It was really hard not to wonder.
Maybe if I loved him more? Maybe if she babbled less? Maybe if she was someone else he would listen…maybe he would stay.
She laid on her side and pressed her clenched fist to her forehead, eyes wide open she did not want to see him leaving again, her eyelids only showed her that. This time around he left a little bit at the time, giving up parts of himself that made him who he was, acting almost like someone else.
The Oliver that she knew…her Oliver had started to leave her a long time ago and the blonde had to say goodbye to each little piece of him.
Felicity hugged herself and wished someone could tell her what she should do, she wished for her mom's warm embrace and an easy solution.
She was losing him like she never had lost him before
Because there was no way she could follow were Oliver was going, every time he made her chose between herself and her love for him he ripped them apart.
He was taking away all the parts of her that were…them, and all she had left were the small little few pieces of Felicity Smoak that didn't have his name branded on it.
Felicity couldn't stay in the limbo he wanted them to stay, she couldn't see her friend die and not give a good look at her life and chose not to waste it. She couldn't keep herself and her love for him if she let his fears dictate their life… her life.
Just as she couldn't see him get lost in Michael Merlyn's web of deceit, willingly and arguing that there is no other way. She tried to understand, to see what he saw… but differently from everything else they lived so far he didn't try to show her what he was thinking. He didn't let her even glimpse what was going on inside his head.
All she had were those bruised, sad and shuttered blue eyes… and the words he used to keep her away. All she could see was the Oliver she loved disappearing under a string of unthinkable choices and unknown motives.
What he didn't see was that he was taking her with him
Felicity deliberately let go of herself, her keys and purse and got up; so the man she loved with everything she had and everything she wished she could be wouldn't lover her or himself enough to stay?
Ok… it was okay, or at least it was going to be okay.
She had lived through a pain like this one before, and another time before that. She would do what she had done before.. if Oliver Queen was throwing himself headfirst into the darkness and taking all of the precious little pieces that made them…them.
She would need to add more pieces of herself that wasn't part of them, Felicity just hoped she could still recognize and like herself after this.
So, I was not happy with it yet... but I guess it's good enough to get back in the game? :) thank you for reading and have a good day