Nothing
by BitterEloquence
Disclaimer: I want my own Sei-chan but they said I couldn't have one. Pout.
I feel nothing emotionally. It's been so long since I felt something that I barely recall the sensation. Human and their emotions mean little to me, their existence even less. You're all objects to me in the end. All are pawns on a chessboard waiting to be moved; to be sacrificed or to live if fate or some other hand deems it so. If it is my hand that moves you, if it's me that decides you're a suitable sacrifice, you should be honored.
Only the special few are chosen to feed the Sakura after all.
One might say that the Sakura and myself are finicky eaters, that our tastes are refined. I pick and choose my targets myself, by my own whim and it is my hand that moves the pawn to be sacrificed just as it is my hand that puts them in the Tree.
They taste lovely too. The Sakura is pleased.
But no matter how tasty they might be, the Sakura is never satiated and it always hungers for more. The stronger the spiritual powers of the person, the more it feeds the Sakura and the sweeter the taste.
I imagine you would be sweetest of all, Subaru-kun.
When we met all those years ago, your youthful temerity had both surprised and amused me. Or as close to those washed-out emotions as I get. I knew back then that you would be sweet but for some reason, I let you go. Perhaps because I wanted your strength to increase, for your power to mature and thus you would be a better meal for the Sakura. Perhaps it was all a game; a bet I made on a whim because I was bored that day. Who knows. You certainly don't, I can tell from the confusion and pain in those beautiful green eyes of yours.
You're beautiful when you're in pain.
Did you know that? The hurt, the confusion and that tiny little flicker of hope in your eyes as you try and lie to yourself, try to deny my truth, it is amusing. And cute. Even now you stubbornly cling to your innocence and your illusions. Is reality truly that hard to acknowledge? You've been lying to yourself Subaru-kun. How else could you turn a blind eye to the fact that I am, a man who is often (if jokingly) accused of being Sakurazukamori, and a onmyoji in his own right. How many Sakurazuka's did you think out there that were onmyouji. Don't be stupid, Subaru-kun. I know you're not.
Naïve and far too kind-hearted perhaps, but not stupid.
You really are cute, Subaru-kun. And I don't mean in just the physical sense though you are certainly attractive that way too. No, I mean that you're cute, naïve and that innate pureness about you tempts me to do things I shouldn't. I want to taint you, strip away that innocence and relish the taste of your despair and pain as the Sakura feasts upon you. That will be the sweetest kill of all.
Like snow, you're pure and clean. And much like the Sakura blossoms we watched that day, I want to watch as you change and flush in color until you're just as stained and tainted as the Sakura. Perhaps that's why I let you go that day. Would it surprise you if I told you I didn't know why myself? That I didn't understand what impulse forced me to let you go, to let you live? Maybe that's why you fascinate me so. You're not special to me, nothing is special to me but you have struck my interest much like a finely crafted piece of art. I appreciated it distantly and go through the motions of appearing like I'm moved by it but in the end, I wouldn't shed a tear if either you or the Mona Lisa were destroyed.
You're just objects, pawns if you will.
I don't care about you so stop looking at me like that. It is beginning to get on my nerves. You're cute but you can also be annoying with that cloyingly sweetness and naiveté. That same naiveté is going to be the death of you. Because if you refuse to look at all the facts before you and blindly go on blissfully thinking me to be nothing more then dear sweet Seishirou-san, then you deserve what you get.
Stop staring at me!
Annoyance isn't an emotion I'm used to feeling. Of course, I'm not used to any sort of emotional reactions the fact that you manage to get even a ghost of irritation out of me is annoying in itself. I'll strip that innocence from you, make you see the truth rather than the flimsy illusion of myself you cling to and then, when you despair the most, I'll kill you.
You'll be sweetest then.
Now this charade will be at an end and I can stop pretending. It was quant at first, pretending to be a kind and upstanding individual, but now I'm bored. You seemed so amusing and interesting before but I find my patience with you and your sister coming to an end. It's time for new toys. Can you feel it drawing close, Subaru-kun? It's the last echoes of your life as we approach the end of this little dance of ours. Soon you'll be dead and just another meal for the Sakura. Better you then I.
I had thought that out of all the people to make my boring life interesting, to give me the thrill of danger, you would have been it. I wanted to see if 'Kaasan was right, and that I could indeed love someone. If I had loved you, had cared for you, then there was a chance you literally would have been the death of me. But unfortunately for you, I was right all along and you're still nothing more then a pretty little toy for me to play with. A pawn to move across the board and sacrifice whenever wanted.
At this rate, I'm going to live forever.
I don't care about you, Subaru-kun. And I'll prove it to you. I'll prove to myself and to the Gods that nothing can touch my heart because in doing so, I truly will live forever. The perfect hunter, the perfect Sakurazukamori.
Stop staring at me like that, you knew it had to end this way.
For Heidi, my number one Seishirou fangirl. She's corrupted me for life and I love her for it.