Link Falling Off Epona
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
By Sailor Zel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pointless, stupid but fun to write none the less!
Disclaimer: I don't own Zelda
R&R!
~~~~~~
Twilight hung over Hyrule Field like a misty blue mantle; the western horizon was rimmed with amber and saffron as the sun departed. The Hero of Time was perched atop his trusty steed, Epona, and gazing out across the field. True, he was supposed to be rescuing the Sage of Water, Ruto, but she could wait a few more hours. It wasn't like she had anything important to do anytime soon.
"Link!" Navi squeaked, "there!" Link glared over a mammoth boulder placed at one of the crossroads scattered about the field. A sickly-white haze floated near the rock, as it grew darker, the image sharpened revealing a Poe! And not just your-run-out-of-the-mill Poe but a BIG Poe! And Big Poes are worth MONEY! And what Link needed at the current time was MONEY! (Even Heroes have bills to pay.)
Link drew out his bow and mounted an arrow. He squinted, holding a steady gaze with the Poe and gripping the feathered-end of the arrow. The Poe circled the boulder once, the spirit flame of its lantern glowing dimly in the faint light of the early evening. The taut bowstring quivered and Link released.
The wooden shaft sang through the air, soaring towards its target and finally striking the Poe dead center…in the rear. The ghost shrieked and tore off across the field. Link dug his heels into Epona's sides and urged her forward. Epona whom up until a few minutes was practically inhaling grass, was well, putting it lightly startled. The rusty-brown mare was downright freaked. Epona gave a sharp cry and reared. Shuffling backwards while Link struggled to calm her.
Epona screamed and reared a second time, barely able to hold her footing but returned to Earth unharmed…Link, however, was not so lucky.
"Whoa! Epona! Down girl!" Link shouted, Epona screamed again and bucked. Link went flying, right off the horse, saddle and all. He hit the ground with a bone-jarring thud.
Now, normally, it wouldn't matter after being thrown by a horse, you could get back up again if nothing was broken.
Link moaned and rolled over…BIG mistake. According to the Laws of Physics, once an object is in motion it remains in motion until which time friction slows it down but remember this, folks, this is fanfiction, the Laws of Physics don't apply here. And moving on, we come to Link's prediction.
"BWA! NAVI!" Link shouted, rolling rapidly down the hill. The fairy hovered near Epona, watching the hero roll over and over and over making fairly quick progress down the hill.
"OW! ROCK! OW! SHIT! OH GODDESS! MY FACE! OW! DAMN! MY-OW-FACE!" Link shouted as he rammed into rocks headfirst.
"MY NOSE! MY PERFECT NOSE! STUPID ROCK-OW-OUCH! MOMMY! Who the HELL put that rock THERE?"
Epona stood placidly on the hilltop while Navi sat in the space between her ears as the Hero of Time rolling steadily away and towards the Former Hyrule Castle Town.
"AW CRIPES!" Link shouted in between numerous whacks to the head, "this is a-OW!- FIELD for crying-OUCH!- out loud! There's-OUCHIE!- gotta be some flat land coming up sooner-EEE!- or later!"
Navi snickered and sighed, "I knew I should have brought a video camera on this trip."
"OW-Damnit, Navi! HELP-OW!- ME!" Link screamed.
"Let me think about it…no. This is just TOO funny!" Navi shouted.
"Traitor! OW!"
Navi wiped the tears from her eyes and gazed ahead, "Uh-oh…"
Jutting out from the ground as if by magic, there was a root. Brown with soil and brittle with age, the root protruded from the earth at a ninety- degree angle.
"Ooo, is he headed where I think he's headed?" Navi wondered aloud, "Uh, yeah he is. Link! Watch out for the-"
Suddenly there was silence, well almost silence apart from a small whimper followed by an even smaller "mother." Navi snickered and desperately tried to hold her laughter in. Meanwhile Link lay, injured, on the ground.
"Oh goddess, I won't be able to walk for a week."
"Ooo, right in the family jewels," Navi hissed.
"Shut up," Link squeaked, his voice was suddenly really high, "you could have warned me."
"And what would I say? 'Oh Link! Look out! You're about to get racked by a tree root!'?" Navi said sarcastically. Link grimaced and glared at her.
"You could have tried to fly out and stop me!"
"Oh yeah! That would have great results! I would be a lump in the ground and you'd still be rolling!"
"…I hate you."
"Does it hurt?" Navi asked timidly.
"You have no idea," Link retorted.
"Are you still gonna be able to have kids?"
"Shut up."
~~~~~~~~~~
WOW! That was really stupid, I give you permission that if you see it fit, you may flame me…but I'm flame ya back ten fold.
~ Zel
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
By Sailor Zel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pointless, stupid but fun to write none the less!
Disclaimer: I don't own Zelda
R&R!
~~~~~~
Twilight hung over Hyrule Field like a misty blue mantle; the western horizon was rimmed with amber and saffron as the sun departed. The Hero of Time was perched atop his trusty steed, Epona, and gazing out across the field. True, he was supposed to be rescuing the Sage of Water, Ruto, but she could wait a few more hours. It wasn't like she had anything important to do anytime soon.
"Link!" Navi squeaked, "there!" Link glared over a mammoth boulder placed at one of the crossroads scattered about the field. A sickly-white haze floated near the rock, as it grew darker, the image sharpened revealing a Poe! And not just your-run-out-of-the-mill Poe but a BIG Poe! And Big Poes are worth MONEY! And what Link needed at the current time was MONEY! (Even Heroes have bills to pay.)
Link drew out his bow and mounted an arrow. He squinted, holding a steady gaze with the Poe and gripping the feathered-end of the arrow. The Poe circled the boulder once, the spirit flame of its lantern glowing dimly in the faint light of the early evening. The taut bowstring quivered and Link released.
The wooden shaft sang through the air, soaring towards its target and finally striking the Poe dead center…in the rear. The ghost shrieked and tore off across the field. Link dug his heels into Epona's sides and urged her forward. Epona whom up until a few minutes was practically inhaling grass, was well, putting it lightly startled. The rusty-brown mare was downright freaked. Epona gave a sharp cry and reared. Shuffling backwards while Link struggled to calm her.
Epona screamed and reared a second time, barely able to hold her footing but returned to Earth unharmed…Link, however, was not so lucky.
"Whoa! Epona! Down girl!" Link shouted, Epona screamed again and bucked. Link went flying, right off the horse, saddle and all. He hit the ground with a bone-jarring thud.
Now, normally, it wouldn't matter after being thrown by a horse, you could get back up again if nothing was broken.
Link moaned and rolled over…BIG mistake. According to the Laws of Physics, once an object is in motion it remains in motion until which time friction slows it down but remember this, folks, this is fanfiction, the Laws of Physics don't apply here. And moving on, we come to Link's prediction.
"BWA! NAVI!" Link shouted, rolling rapidly down the hill. The fairy hovered near Epona, watching the hero roll over and over and over making fairly quick progress down the hill.
"OW! ROCK! OW! SHIT! OH GODDESS! MY FACE! OW! DAMN! MY-OW-FACE!" Link shouted as he rammed into rocks headfirst.
"MY NOSE! MY PERFECT NOSE! STUPID ROCK-OW-OUCH! MOMMY! Who the HELL put that rock THERE?"
Epona stood placidly on the hilltop while Navi sat in the space between her ears as the Hero of Time rolling steadily away and towards the Former Hyrule Castle Town.
"AW CRIPES!" Link shouted in between numerous whacks to the head, "this is a-OW!- FIELD for crying-OUCH!- out loud! There's-OUCHIE!- gotta be some flat land coming up sooner-EEE!- or later!"
Navi snickered and sighed, "I knew I should have brought a video camera on this trip."
"OW-Damnit, Navi! HELP-OW!- ME!" Link screamed.
"Let me think about it…no. This is just TOO funny!" Navi shouted.
"Traitor! OW!"
Navi wiped the tears from her eyes and gazed ahead, "Uh-oh…"
Jutting out from the ground as if by magic, there was a root. Brown with soil and brittle with age, the root protruded from the earth at a ninety- degree angle.
"Ooo, is he headed where I think he's headed?" Navi wondered aloud, "Uh, yeah he is. Link! Watch out for the-"
Suddenly there was silence, well almost silence apart from a small whimper followed by an even smaller "mother." Navi snickered and desperately tried to hold her laughter in. Meanwhile Link lay, injured, on the ground.
"Oh goddess, I won't be able to walk for a week."
"Ooo, right in the family jewels," Navi hissed.
"Shut up," Link squeaked, his voice was suddenly really high, "you could have warned me."
"And what would I say? 'Oh Link! Look out! You're about to get racked by a tree root!'?" Navi said sarcastically. Link grimaced and glared at her.
"You could have tried to fly out and stop me!"
"Oh yeah! That would have great results! I would be a lump in the ground and you'd still be rolling!"
"…I hate you."
"Does it hurt?" Navi asked timidly.
"You have no idea," Link retorted.
"Are you still gonna be able to have kids?"
"Shut up."
~~~~~~~~~~
WOW! That was really stupid, I give you permission that if you see it fit, you may flame me…but I'm flame ya back ten fold.
~ Zel