I know I probably shouldn't be starting another story but I got inspiration for this story and I just had to write it. Don't worry, I'll be updating almost all my other stories within the next week. Hopefully. So just sit back and enjoy my newest story!
Disclaimer: I quite obviously don't own Naruto if I'm making a fan fiction about it.
I'm always the happy one, not a care in the world, right? Wrong. Inside everyone there is another side, their dark side. For some this is their normal self, like Sasuke, or for others that suffering is common knowledge, like Naruto.
But others, they push it back, fight against it, fight for their sanity. Like me.
Looking at me you wouldn't ever guess the inner struggle. I hide everything behind a happy mask that fools everyone. Yet I feel my other side climbing to the surface, struggling for control, demanding to be set free.
Every day I stare for a moment at the kunai in my hand, wondering about the sweet release that others claim it brings, but I fight the urge. Every day my gaze lingers a moment longer, my mind wonders a second more.
Who would ever guess the happy one to be torn up inside? Who would ever guess the cheerful one to be filled with longing for someone, anyone to come fill the aching hole in her soul, the blank place where the darkness creeps in from? No one, that's who.
That's why no one has ever noticed it before. Not Kakashi, not Naruto, certainly not Sasuke, not even my mentor, Tsunade. But even the strongest warrior is brought down eventually, their spirits in tatters from the struggle.
Sakura sighed in exhaustion as she trudged back to her house after a long day of training. At the moment her happy mask was gone from her face, replaced by the sadness and loneliness that tore at her heart.
Empty silence tore the hole in her heart even bigger as she walked into the deserted house she lived in. A few months ago Sakura's parents had abandoned her, saying simply to her tearful pleading, "We have never loved you, Sakura. The only reason we stayed is we felt some obligation to stay until you could take care of yourself since we were responsible for bringing you into this world."
Looking back now, Sakura could see the falseness in their faces as they smiled and said they cared about her. I was never wanted, Sakura thought bitterly as she padded into the kitchen to find something to eat. And I probably never will be.
Sakura cursed silently when she saw what was in the refrigerator, or rather, what wasn't in the refrigerator. Some moldy cheese, expired milk, and soggy lettuce were the only objects that met Sakura's hungry gaze.
Perfect.
On top of her gloomy thoughts, there wasn't any food in the refrigerator to appease the rumbling of her empty stomach.
Sighing, Sakura walked over to her knife drawer and pulled out a slim, sharp knife. She had purposely not healed herself this afternoon. No one would notice a couple more cuts on her already bruised and cut up body.
A thin trickle of blood flowed down her arm from a small cut on her forearm. For the first time that night, Sakura's tense muscles relaxed. Something about the simplicity of blood flowing soothed Sakura's troubled mind and brought about a peace that was so rare nowadays.
Still in a sort of trance, Sakura washed the dried blood off her arm and collapsed into her bed.
The next morning Sakura was walking down the street to the grocery store, her mask firmly in place.
"Good morning, Sasuke-kun," she greeted cheerfully when she caught sight of her raven-haired teammate.
He looked up from the tomatoes he was examining long enough to reply, "Good morning." For a second Sasuke could have sworn he saw a shadow cross Sakura's happy face at his emotionless tone, but he dismissed the thought as foolishness. Sakura was never sad.
Mask hiding her emotions, Sakura continued her shopping. To anyone watching, she was Sakura Haruno, happy-go-lucky and without a care in the world. Inside however, her spirits were lower than ever at Sasuke's lack of feelings.
Before Sakura put away her groceries when she got home, she filled her empty stomach.
Feeling lonely on the beautiful Sunday afternoon, Sakura walked over to Ino's house. "I'm sorry, Ino's out with Shikamaru," Ino's mother apologized when Sakura asked her if Ino was home. The same response was repeated when Sakura went to all her other friends' houses. They were either out with their boyfriend/girlfriend or out with their other friends. With nothing better to do, Sakura walked to the training fields to, well, train.
"This is unusual to see you here, Sakura," said a familiar voice from behind her.
"Hi, Sasuke-kun!" She smiled brilliantly, but it didn't quite reach her eyes.
"Hn, I was supposed to spar with Naruto today but he ate too much ramen and got sick, the moron. Will you spar with me instead?"
Shock briefly halted any reaction.
"Sure!" she said when she regained her composure.
Pulling on her black gloves, Sakura faced Sasuke. He had grown more mature in his time with Orochimaru, and he was also incredibly stronger. The last thing Sakura saw before Sasuke flickered out of sight was the blood-red of his activated sharingan.
Behind.
Sakura flipped to avoid a punch Sasuke shot at her back. Mid-flip, Sakura planted her hands on the ground and drove her heel up, loaded with chakra for a devastating blow. But Sasuke, with his sharingan, anticipated her attack and grabbed her ankle, tossing her into a tree.
Suddenly, the effect of last night's cutting caught up to her, and she sank to her knees, desperately trying to cling to reality.
"You're still weak," Sasuke scoffed as he walked off. However much Sakura had hardened her heart, those words still stung.
Trudging home, Sakura was lost in a cloud of depression. Who honestly needed her here? Even if she had grown stronger from her genin days, she was still weak in comparison to her two teammates.
A plan formed in her mind as she laboriously healed all the wounds she has acquired over the past few days.
No one would make much of a fuss if she left, would they? Naruto might mope a bit, but he now had Hinata to help him get over it. Kakashi she saw only on rare occasions. Sasuke just wouldn't care. As a matter of fact, they would be grateful she was gone; she didn't do much of anything except work in the hospital, and there were plenty of other, more talented people to take her place.
So Sakura decided to leave Konoha.
She remembered how hard people had worked to get Sasuke back when he had left. 'But he was worth something, being one of the last of the Uchihas,' her mind reminded her cruelly.
Shaking her head to rid herself of these thoughts, Sakura began to pack.
Over the next week Sakura gradually gathered all the supplies she would need. The thought of her plan helped Sakura endure Sasuke's iciness when she, Naruto, and Sasuke got together for their weekly spar.
And, finally, Saturday night came around. Sakura had already decided to leave Saturday night since Sunday was her day off, so nobody would notice her gone until she didn't show up for work on Monday. It would give her a day's head start.
Glancing around the house she had always lived in, Sakura made sure she hadn't forgotten anything as she climbed the stairs to retrieve the last thing she needed.
Hidden underneath her bed was Sakura's most prized possession. She had saved up money for three years to buy a katana. But this was no ordinary katana. Sakura could channel chakra into it and the katana could release it in a blast of energy ten times stronger than the amount of chakra she had originally channeled in. Or, she could store chakra in it and draw on that store when she was low.
Now, Sakura unsheathed the katana to make sure it was still sharp and in good condition. The steel gleamed dangerously in the moonlight that filtered through Sakura's window, and the sharpened edge shone sharply, filled with the promise of pain. Patterns of falling cherry blossoms were etched into the flat part of the blade.
Satisfied, Sakura sheathed the katana and strapped it to her waist. She opened her window and jumped outside, racing for the gates. When she reached the gates, she turned and stared back at the village that had been her home for sixteen years, happy memories of her past flooding her mind. But Sakura pushed them back. Her resolve would not be broken by memories of something that wasn't true.
Then she turned and disappeared into the trees.
I decided to make a story about a darker Sakura. It's so unnatural for someone to be that happy all the time. Anyways, does anyone know any good sites where you can post original stories? I tried google but I couldn't get anything. Remember, REVIEW!!! Good little minions.