Within a dimly lit office sat a holistic detective at a cluttered desk.
His cleaner, Elena, had returned to his flat and was most likely setting up tripwires and landmines. He daren't go back there. So here Dirk Gently was. At the office. Late at night. Nothing to do.
His secretary Janice had stormed out at six o'clock, claiming that her return was doubtful. Dirk did what he normally did and made himself a cup of coffee, which he promptly drank, and ordered a pizza, which had never turned up upon the discovery of the orderee's identity.
He now picked up a cold cup of tea, swirling it around, staring into it. If tea leaves could tell the future, the very least tea itself could offer was a solitary comforting that everything would be okay. But no. The tea did nothing of the sort. The heartless thing it was. Dirk brought it up to his lips and drank anyway.
He glanced onto the desk, noticing today's newspaper. He reached over to grab it from his desk.
'ASTROLOGER FINDS CONCLUSIVE PROOF THERE IS LIFE ON MARS.'
Glancing round to check there wasn't anyone else in his office with him – which there wasn't – Dirk turned the page to the relevant article and began reading. The article, for the most part, was 40% jargon, 45% crap, 9% advertisements of worthless junk and roughly 1% truth. It was probable that the other 5% had gotten lost behind the editor's sofa. An average run-of-the-mill paper, then.
'... is hosting an open evening in Abelaid Hotel, London to present the conclusive proof. Come along and see for yourselves.'
Dirk raised an eyebrow. As a detective, it was his job to investigate any strange goings-on. And as a holistic detective, it was his duty even more so to seek out and plot the vectors of the interconnectedness of all things. And this seemed like a gold-mine.
The people going would undoubtedly consist of scientists, lawyers, priests, the usual lot. But mingling with those would be the wacko conspiracy theorists, the UFO spotters. The gullible lot. And, in Dirk's dictionary, the closest word to 'gullible' is 'money'. In actual fact, everything between 'herring' and 'marmalade' is missing after Janice's tantrum, in which she stormed out, taking with her a bundle of pages from the said dictionary.
Dirk stood up, leaving his paper on the desk, and meandered over to the window. He stared outside onto the dark streets of London, a few puddles reflecting the light from the street lamps back into Dirk's eyes. So vacant and empty. Boring, to say the least.
"I'm sure this experience will be most enlightening," thought Dirk out loud. "Besides, not like there's much else going on. The web of interconnected events will shine through." And with that, he pulled out his laptop from under a large pile of papers, and got to work.
Despite the fact he had no internet due to not paying his bills.
Tomorrow, then.