A/N: I don't know what to say... I just saw the episode where she died yesterday... I've been watching these videoclips to know how it goes down after that and I'm just heartbroken. This came to mind while watching a fanvid and here it is. Read if you will, I just had to get it out of my system.

"I'm sorry" he breathed after falling on his knees.

"I know. Don't be, I saw you. You were going to respect my wishes" she said while pulling him up and trying to get him to meet her eyes. "Telling the truth I can't really be that mad at you for that. I wouln't have gotten here, now would I?" She smiled up to him and caressed his cheek gently.

"Wouldn't you?"

She shook her head, but not as an answer.

"You're not dead yet Peter." She said as to tell him that he wasn't supposed to know what laid ahead.

"But I want to be" he looked into her eyes, tears filling his own.

"Now I'm not sure, but I think that that's a sin" she chuckled. She almost felt sorry for him. Guilt, that she was able to be so happy while he was being so miserable.

"Please Peter. Take this as some of those romantic stories. "Live for us both" or whatever it is they usually say."

"I don't care anymore. I don't care about anything... I lost you" he started sobbing heavily and she was forced to hold him in her arms. If it woul've been possible for her to cry too she would have.

"For God's sake, Peter" she whispered and smiled a little for the choice of words. Then she became serious. "No. Not for the God. For my sake" she hold his chin up and looked into those eyes he used to love so much. Though the gentleness in them was wearing off. "For my sake, Peter, please" she pleaded with everything she got, in this middlestage that they were in.

"I can't do it. I can't... I don't want to... to be a priest, to go on with my life, without you. I don't have a life without you" he had been giving up for days. He had stood in the rain, watched how the ambulance took her away. Feeling like he had been robbed something, utterly lost and so guilty for doing what he had done, and even more for what he hadn't, and now never could. He had been out for hours before they had found him and forced him home. They wanted first to take him to the pub but he refuced do go there. He had become sick. Dr. Ryan said that if he had the will he'd get through it easily. The fever getting worse every day proved that he had no will.

"I just want to be with you" he said when he finally stopped crying.

"I know."

"Leo came to see me."

"I know that too."

"Of course you do" he sighed.

"He shouldn't have said all those things he did. If it helps, he didn't really mean them. As awful as I felt watching it, I was kinda hoping that it would shake you up. Pull you out from this state of..." she waved her hands at him and shook her head.

"You were watching me?"

"I was" she caressed his cheek again. "I always will."

"I'll miss you" he said, finally giving in to the fact that it really weren't his time yet.

"I miss you already" she smiled and placed a light kiss next to his lips. This wasn't about they're love. She wasn't here to have a reunion with her lost love. She didn't have the right to say she loved him, even though she regretted hugely that he had never heard her say it back, it still wasn't their time.

"And Peter, don't leave Ballyk. They can't do it without both of us" she said her voice gentle but firm the same time.

"Assumpta" he said almost like it was painful to say it. He touched those read curls and tried to blink the tears away. He blinked. And was back.

"Welcome back" Dr. Ryan said while patting his forehead with a wet clothe. "We missed you." Peter gave him a slight smile and closed his eyes again. She didn't come back to him.