Disclaimer: I own none of the characters in this story, I'm just having fun with them.
Jasper barged into my room, flinging the door wide. He was angry about something, but all I had done for the last hour was stay with Bella. My beautiful, angelic Bella. She was too good for me.
"This is getting ridiculous, Edward. You are being ridiculous." Jasper growled out in total exasperation.
"What? What did I do wrong this time?" I retorted.
"Stop feeling so damn inadequate, it's suffocating. I can barely think for myself with all of your emotion weighing down on me." he grumbled.
"I don't know what you are talking about." I said, actually confused.
He better not think he can get away with that lie to me, I can't help but feel his angst. Ever since Bella returned, he's been feeling terrible about himself for ever leaving. No regard to the empathic vampires at all. If I can just get him to stop! I need a break from all this emotion. Now I was totally stumped. How had I not realised that I was affecting Jasper so terribly? But what was I supposed to do? I can't control emotions.
"And the guilt isn't helping things either." he grumbled again. "Bella also needs to realise you aren't going anywhere; that fear is a little too personal for me to carry around." he added quietly. I still heard. I looked to my love, nestled in my arms, was she still so fearful? Pain and guilt arched through my chest as I looked into those honest, loving eyes. She wasn't about to deny Jasper.
"What can we do?" I asked as an apology. Jasper looked relieved at my response, and he quickly took on a determination rarely seen in him.
"Well, so long as you are both willing, I am going to try channelling emotion from one to the other to allow you both to understand each other better." he said calmly.
"Well this is a change from the outburst in the beginning." Bella teased. "But, OK, I'm willing if you are." she said to me. "This might finally prove to you that I love you just as equally as you love me." she added with a smile. My heart shook at her jest; as if I could doubt her.
"That's a good start, Bella. We'll go from there." he said simply, grasping our hands. In response to our confusion, he simply said "it's easier to channel the emotions this way." and pulled us off the couch in my room to standing.
"This is a bit weird." Bella giggled.
"Not half as weird as lusting after my brother, thanks to you." he scolded lightly. The blood rose in her cheeks and she hung her head as she bit her lip. I glared at Jasper, unsure if beating him in front of Bella would make things better or worse.
Sorry, just trying to make my point… I tuned him out once again and refocused on Bella, lifting her chin with my free hand. Her cheeks burnt with embarrassment, as she looked into my eyes.
"I know. It's hard for me too." I said gently. She smiled slightly before Jasper interrupted again.
"Ya, that wasn't too pleasant either. My brother's girlfriend? A bit creepy, really." he murmured. Bella smacked him lightly on the arm and burst into a full smile.
"What did Alice think about your wandering emotions?" she spurted out.
"She laughed! So much for the support of my wife!" he huffed. I fought back my own laughter as I met my gaze with Bella's.
"OK,OK, enough of that." Jasper grumbled. "Let's get on with this." With that, he turned on Bella. "feel all the love you have for Edward, let it fill you up, warming you. Feel every ounce of that love and focus only on that." he said soothingly.
I watched Bella stifle her giggles and focus, after a minute of concentration, her lips curved upwards unconsciously. Her eyes were closed, focusing within. Silence gathered around us as we waited. I noticed Jasper smiling as well, seeming utterly content to wait as this love emanated from my brown haired angel. Her lips parted slightly as she breathed the word, "Edward.", still smiling.
Suddenly, I was hit with a wall of emotion. It knocked me breathless. It flooded every inch of my being, warming me, soothing me, washing away all the worries I ever held. This love pulled at my heart, begging entrance. It held me still, awe struck at the power of the emotion. It took over every cell in me, washed away any other thought. The strength of it overpowered me and burned in my heart, yearning for its reason. I reached out for the source and she moved into my arms. We stood there for an immeasurable amount of time, utterly content to just be. I kissed her hair lightly and held her tightly in my arms as the feeling dissipated and ebbed away, to be replaced by my own love.
She raised her lips to mine, and kissed me with as much passion as the love I felt within myself. I smiled again and held her tightly, kissing her lips and her neck with the tenderness that remained within myself, flowing from my own heart. How wrong I had been to doubt her.
"OK, I whispered to her ear, "You were right. Our love is equal and I will never doubt you again."
"I love you." she replied. I chuckled softly at the obvious statement.
"I know. You just showed me how much." I grinned at the memory. We stood there, smiling at each other for another moment, waiting for nothing.
"Ahem," Jasper announced the end of that part of the experiment. "On with the show."
"What else is there to feel?" I asked, unsure if there is a possibility of new emotions to be felt, anything else to learn.
"It's Bella's turn. Edward, I want you to feel all the emotion, all the pain, of leaving Bella. So that she will never need to worry about it." he added as I glared at him. How could I inflict that upon her? It seemed totally unfair that I would receive love, while she gets only pain. "I know that you are outraged at the thought, but it's for her own good. It will show her that there is no chance of you going through that again. Do it."
"How can I? I have already hurt her too much." I replied, angry now.
"You can, because she needs this." Jasper retorted. I remained silent, thinking.
Bella looked right into my eyes "Do it." she breathed a deep sigh, "I need to be sure. Jasper's right." she said quietly. Pain wrenched through me at the thought. How could I have allowed myself to damage her so severely? I cursed myself again.
"Now, now, Edward. You know she only feels love for you. But she still needs to feel what you felt when you left." he paused, "Will you do it if she shows you how she felt? Would that make it even for you?" my face slackened. That is the only way it could be even, he knew that.
I took a deep breath and spoke again, "I will if you will." a sad smile played on my lips at the thought of inflicting any pain upon my one love. Her face fell.
"I can't." she whispered. "I can't do that to you."
"Was it that bad? Don't you want to get back at me?" I teased.
"I could never hurt you. You didn't know what you were doing, and I have forgiven you for that, but I will not knowingly do that to you." she said, more determined than ever. My heart squeezed at the pain I saw in her eyes.
"Was I that terrible that you won't allow me to feel it? I deserve it." I added.
"You deserve none of that… that pain." she hung her head at the admission. I was struck dumb. My hand reached out to her cheek, I traced her jaw, followed it to her lips and my lips replaced my fingers. I kissed her again and again, between each caress only a few words escaped me.
"I love you," "I will never leave you," "Bella, my sweet Bella, I'm so sorry." then I paused. "I will show you. I will show you how I felt to have you back." I pulled away and focused on that day. The day when my life started again."
I felt the emptiness that shrouded that day, that hollowness that had consumed me after the phone call. The world faded away, as I concentrated on the feeling of finding my Bella again. Shock. Relief. Hope. Love. Joy. Ecstasy. Bewilderment. Affection. Delight. Elation. Bliss. These emotions coursed through me, taking over my senses. They rushed from me, through Jasper and into my love. Each emotion, pounding at her belief that I might leave. Each emotion breaking through her walls of self protection. I could see realisation dawning on her face; how could I leave that feeling? She knew the truth. I smiled as I reached out to her again. She would never need to worry about my departure again.
"You see how I can never leave?" I grinned at her.
She smiled back, "I believe you." we stood there, smiling, and gazing into the eyes that neither of us wanted to leave.
Well thank god for that. I will leave you two alone. and with that, Jasper slinked out of the room, leaving us with a new found trust. A trust that banished doubt, that banished fear. Our love was stronger than either of us had realised. Neither of us would make that mistake again.
We walked together to the couch and lay, entwined for eternity.
A.N.: I would just like to say, why didn't Jasper do something like this in the books? It would have made everything easier!
OK, so now I ask you to review. Be as harsh as you like, I need constructive critics to improve!