Kirito Jerks Off, by Dickfart
One day Kirito decided to stroke his weiner in the game. If you jerk off in the game, you jerk off in real life.
Then CJ fled all the way to SAO from San Andreas and popped a cap in Kirito's ass, just for the hoes, the dual swords, and the fuckin' money and cocaine that the fuckin' cops done took from him earlier. Fuckin' donut-snortin' bustas.
It is believed that Kirito's last words were, "My SAO don't, my SAO don't, My SAO don't want .hack unless they got buns, hun."
The End