An Illogical fear

Chapter 1

I twisted in my bed sheets, feeling a million tiny legs crawling up and down my being. Cold sweat covered me, along with them, the devilish creatures mixing in with my body as they invaded me. Small clicks echoed through my ears and I tried to force them off but they just wouldn't budge.

I dared not to open my mouth, afraid that by doing so they would gain access into my body. I didn't want these tiny creatures invading me any more than they already were, I didn't want them here, I was suffering so much as it was, my irrational fear freezing my body to the point where I could move.

My teeth clenched and I felt them move further up, closer to my eyes and my mouth, without much warning from even myself, I let out a sharp scream. The noise hitting the walls and finding it's say to my hearing.

As I screamed I felt minuscule, furry, winged even, creatures travel down my throat. As they violated my insides I could only scream louder, which not only allowed them more access but made my fear grow.

…

I awoke to a start, sweat beading on my brow. Wiping it away I stole a glance at the time. Hopping up, I realized I was going to be late for training if I didn't hurry.

True, I was a Jounin and I didn't need training, but I did it because I was able to see my most favorite person in the world.

Shino Aburame, he was my most favorite person in the world, I loved him with all my heart, which was breaking at every thought of him being a bug user.

I loved him, but I hated bugs, well, I didn't hate them, but I had such an irrational, illogical, fear of bugs that if I even saw the smallest one in the world I'd freeze up.

Which is why, unfortunately, I must keep my distance.

Every night I wished I didn't have this horrible fear; I'd rather have something else like claustrophobia, or hydrophobia, anything! It hurt me everyday that I had to be the one to be afraid of bugs and that the guy of my dreams had to use bugs as his main weapon.

Honestly this shouldn't be something that I should cry over but I just couldn't get Shino out of my head. Every time I try to think of someone or something else, he pops up. I try to date other people, and I see his covered face when I look at the person at the other side of the table.

I banged my head against the fridge in frustration; I couldn't believe how I couldn't get him out of my head.

Maybe next to my entomophobia I was an obsessive freak, what I really think though, is that because of my fear, because of the fact that I can't have him, I can't let him go.

I feel that if I could have one date, just one, I would be able to get over him and move on. As long as I didn't have to see any bugs I'd be fine, but I also knew that if Shino made the date amazing, if he was as cool and as amazing as I believe, I'll never want to let him go.

I banged my head again, probably getting a bruise or causing brain damage. Snagging a glance at the time I shoved a piece of bread in my mouth before launching myself out the door.

"Sorry I'm late!" I said as I stepped onto training ground four. Hinata and Kiba were there, as expected, and Akamaru barked at my arrival.

"No worries Hannah, it happens," Kiba slapped me on the back and he grinned widely.

Kiba was so nice, I couldn't understand why I couldn't fall for him instead, he was smart, handsome, and funny, plus I loved dogs. So why is it so difficult for me to forget Shino?
As I thought that, Shino appeared out of the blue, hands in his pocket.

I felt a chill go up my spine as I looked at him; I averted my gaze and looked to Hinata instead. She smiled at me and said, "Ready Hannah-chan?"

I nodded, "You bet!"

We were all Jounin, and I knew that these three used to be a team, but they still hung around, letting me join in ever since I had appeared.

I was entirely sure how I came to Konoha, all I knew was that I had appeared one day, completely unsure of how I had got here, I had lost my memory apparently and all I knew was my name and that after meeting Shino, that I was terribly afraid of bugs.

After years of conditioning myself I was finally able to become a Genin, quickly I became a Chuunin; it took a few years to be a Jounin but now here I was, vest and all.

Hinata activated her Byakugan and got into ready position. I took in a deep breath and held it, letting my chakra build up.

She rushed forward and I held my hand up, fire spewed everywhere and she avoided the attack quickly.

I saw her from the corner of my eye I saw her run up, poised to attack, out of the other corner however, I saw Shino standing there idly.

Kiba attacked him at random and my breath caught in my throat as he nearly got knocked down by Akamaru.

My distraction caused me to lose my arm as Hinata stopped its chakra flow. My arm fell limp at my side and she jumped away.

"Aw man…"

Hinata stood at the ready again and I tried to ready as well with one arm. Well, at least this was good practice with facing the Byakugan.

When Hinata rushed forward once more, I spun around and did a cheap shot; I slapped her in the face with my limp noodle-like arm, which was usually about as much use as a blade of grass.

For once it came in handy since she didn't seem to expect the attack. Just as we prepared for another round I was thrust to the side as a body came crashing down onto to mine.

The air left my lungs as the heavy body above mine crushed me. I tasted dirt as my faced was thrown to the Earth below.

"Oof!"

"Oh, sorry Hannah," turning around my face turned fifty shades of red as Shino held his hand out for me.

"Uh, uh," I stuttered. Holding up a shaking hand, I felt a spark as our hands touched. I also cringed in fear when I thought about the bugs he possessed.

"T-Thanks S-Shino," I said shakily. I was shaking so badly because small winged and furry creatures were circulating around my head, as well as in his body.

"Are you alright? You don't look too well."

"I'm f-fine Shino, don't worry about me."

"Are you positive? And by the way, sorry about that, I guess Akamaru caught him a little too off guard."

I nodded my head, "Yeah it's fine. Just got the air blown out of me," my nerves began to steady as I thought about other things.

"Let's take a break Hannah-chan, I promised Naruto I'd meet him for lunch anyway."

I nodded, "Alright that sounds good."

The four of us began to make our way to Ichiraku's. There, we saw the blonde haired Hokage sitting peacefully while talking to Teuchi.

When he spotted us he waved and gave us a friendly smile, Naruto turned as well and gave Hinata a big hug while she blushed madly.

"N-Naruto-sama…"

"Hinata don't call me sama! Naruto is just fine!" he smiled and spread his arms, "come on in! Let's all have lunch together, Kiba nice to see you and, uh, wait hold on I know it…"

Shino went into his dark corner, all these years and I couldn't believe that Naruto still didn't know his name.

"Uh, wait hold on it's on the tip of my tongue!"

"Naruto-sama…"

"Hang on Hinata."

"It's Shino," I blurted out. As much as I like Naruto, I couldn't stand it when he couldn't remember Shino's name. It was my biggest pet peeve and I was always the one to remind him.

He snapped his fingers, "Right! Oh, uh, sorry Shino, I forgot!" he said while rubbing the back of his head sheepishly.

"Naruto you always manage to forget," Shino scolded.

Naruto laughed and ordered some ramen for all of us, we all knew that he knew what we liked.

I sat down and I felt a chill go up my spine when Shino sat next to me.

As my hot food was placed in front of me I tried to ignore the bug user next to me.

I didn't understand why most people found him strange, I found him fascinating, sure he lacked the social ability of a normal human being, but than again, Shino wasn't exactly all that normal at all. Not that I minded.

I remember when we first met; he was unusually cold to me. I had thought that he just didn't like me at first, but then Hinata and Kiba explained to me that he usually does this to people he doesn't know, but is supposed to be allies with.

Everyone seemed surprised at how fast we had gotten along; I didn't know anything about his abilities, until we trained one day.

I didn't know I had been so terrified of bugs, but when he used them against me my body froze over with fear and my mind turned to mush. I couldn't move, I couldn't think, I just felt a terrible fear consume me. The next thing I remembered was waking up in a hospital. Ever since then I've had horrible nightmares, and that was nearly six years ago, when we were all Chuunin.

We went into the Jounin exams together and I was incredibly relieved that I didn't have to face off against him. I went into the exams with Sakura and Naruto since Sai went somewhere else to do some other things. He was still around, but he didn't need to take the Jounin exams anyway.

We passed, and two years later, Naruto became Hokage. I wasn't exactly sure how that happened, it's not like he didn't deserve it, but he wasn't exactly the most observant person known to mankind.

He still deserved it though. As well as at some point Hinata and he had gotten together, I was happy that they were happy.

According to everyone, I had appeared when Konoha was still in ruins, just after it was under attack by someone named Uchiha Sasuke. I didn't know who he was, but all I was told was that he was gone now. Konoha was attacked by him and a few others, but all those threats were supposedly gone now.

The reason I say supposedly, was that I still felt as if there was a dark presence out there, hovering just above us, out of reach, waiting for the perfect time to strike.

A voice interrupted my thoughts and Naruto's loud voice entered my mind, "Hannah-chan, Hannah-chan!"

"Huh?"

"Geez you've been spacing out, anyway, I wanted to ask you if you'll go on a mission with me."

"What? When is it," I asked confusedly, "and what about Hinata?"

"Hinata already has a mission, trust me I asked her first. But you're one of my best friends and you're a great ninja. So please will you come along? All you have to do is come with me on an exchange mission. I need to go to Suna to talk to Gaara about some things and I need a body guard, that's all."

"What's it ranked?" I asked.

"It's an A-rank mission because I'm Hokage but you should be fine, you'll have Shikamaru and Kakashi-sensei backing you up."

I felt relieved that I wasn't going to be alone, but I was still terrified. In my opinion, I was one of the worst ninjas out there. Good enough to pass the Jounin exams, but just barely. It took a cheap shot to the face for me to win.

I wasn't a strategist like Shikamaru, and I was certainly no copy-ninja. I thought that maybe I was most likely just going to be there for moral support.

Naruto and Gaara were great friends, but I know that sometimes being in Suna can be a bit stressful. Maybe he asked me because I had the water and wind nature transformations. My original chakra nature was water, and I gradually worked my way into fire and than wind. Currently I was working on lighting, which is the toughest one yet.

Having wind and water would ultimately keep everyone cool since I could tap into an ice nature so that could be a main reason why. Deciding that was the reason Naruto wanted me around, I nodded my head yes.

As I turned back to my food I heard him say through a mouthful of ramen, "Oh! Shino's coming too! I asked him yesterday!"

I felt my heart rise, and spirits dampen.