Regina climbs the stairs of Zelena's front porch and positions her gloved fist in front of the door, preparing to knock but trying to gain the courage to do so. It feels as if they're back in the Underworld and she's preparing for what's sure to be another arguement about Hades, she muses, and then briefly wishes she could go back in time to then. No, the situation wasn't ideal but maybe she could at least warn her past self about the shitstorm that would soon be her life - and Robin would be there, she thinks, he's the main reason that she wishes she could go back.
Regina uncurls her fingers then flexes her hands once, twice, three times. Shaking Robin and the Underworld from her thoughts. She knocks on the door lightly at first, then a little harder because she might hate the Queen but at least she was never weak, and a soft knock on the door to her sister's house is not something that the Queen would ever approve of. She wouldn't settle for anything less than a knock full of confidence and flare.
She hears some rustling about in the house and then is met by red hair and icy blue eyes, "Regina." Zelena greets, and she looks so tired that Regina wants to send her to bed for a few hours and postpone this chat for after she wakes up.
"Zelena," she says cooly, instead. "I was hoping that we could talk," the younger woman says. Seconds turn into moments and Regina thinks that perhaps she should just turn around because Zelena is staring at her with an unreadable expression and has yet to speak to her, which in a way is almost worse than if she were to scream at her to get off of the porch and out of her life. At least Regina could yell back if that was the case, that she could handle. Instead she feels so insecure and uncomfortable under her sister's stare and in this deafening silence.
Regina's just about to turn around and leave when Zelena sighs and steps back, opening the door a little wider, "Come in," she says. And part of Regina, probably the young girl part, wants to smile in relief, but the more mature part of her, the part that knows better and has been hurt so many times only nods and then steps into the farmhouse.
Zelena closes the door behind her and then turns and walks towards the kitchen. Regina follows her silently and although their relationship has been many things since they first met, it has never been this awkward and uncomfortable silence that makes Regina's body want to crawl out of her skin.
Zelena gestures for Regina to take a seat then continues on to the opposite side of the table where she has Robin's crib set up, she rests her hand on the quiet baby's belly -she must be sleeping, Regina muses, there's no way that the baby is that well behaved to sit there so silently- and briefly adjusts her blanket, before turning her attention towards her sister and taking a seat in the chair across from her.
She's not saying anything and perhaps that means Regina should talk first, "You look tired," Regina says, and as far as conversation starters go, it's crap, but it's the first thing that pops into her mind.
"Robin has a diaper rash," she explains, "This is the quietest she's been in days. It seems like everything that I try just makes it worse." She wipes a hand over her tired face in a way that would have made Cora send Regina to bed without dinner had she caught her doing it.
"Anyway, what was it that you wanted to talk about?" The redhead asks rather bluntly. Straight to the point in true Zelena fashion.
"Oh," Regina says, and then, "I wanted to apologize."
Zelena raises her eyebrow, awaiting a more detailed response, Regina supposes.
"For the way I've been treating you." And then she's looking at her hands and God what is wrong with her? She's being so weak, but she just can't find it in her to maintain eye contact.
Her older sister is quiet, and just watches Regina for a time, this part of her, the part without the Queen is so foreign to her that she can't help but stare and try to figure out why her sister would ever want to kill the part of her that made her powerful and confident and intimidating. The part of her that was most like me.She thinks to herself.
"After Robin - and when I split myself in half and you moved in and were just there- all the time -I just- I couldn't handle it Zelena. It was just all too many changes at once. And I know that I shouldn't have been so mad at you for losing that feather, and that first time back in my office- It made me think of that God awful day and I just... I snapped. " Regina blurts out, without totally thinking what she wants to say through and her sentences were messy and incomplete but it was honest. "I'm so sorry." She says.
Zelena stays silent, not quite looking at Regina but not exactly looking away either. She bites at the inside of her cheek and lets the soft skin squish in between her teeth.
"Zelena, I know that you're mad at me," Regina says again, "But you have to stay away from the Evil Queen."
Then Zelena turns to face her younger sister, Blue eyes meeting brown. "So that's why you came," She says and in this moment she doesn't look at all like the tired mother she had just been, "To protect yourself and your perfect little family, " and Regina's eyes are wide when she sees Zelena's chest start to turn green.
"I came with nobody's interest in mind but yours, Zelena." She says, and it feels as if she's trying to talk her out of jumping off of a roof, "The Queen is dangerous and the town knows it. She's mouthy and cruel and is going to make the wrong person angry and don't think for a second that they won't come after you as well."
"I'm a big girl," Zelena says, and although the green patch of skin is starting to fade, she's in no way happy with her little sister.
"Zelena, listen to me." Regina says and she almost sounds desparate. "I don't want it to come down to you and me trying to kill eachother."
At that, Zelena looks hurt. She goes to open her mouth, probably make another biting remark, but Regina cuts her off with a hand in the air.
"With the way that the Queen's playing, she's going to end up setting us all up for some sort of big conflict, intentionally or not. And I know what side I will be standing on, and I don't want you to be on the opposite," Regina says and to her surprise, the anger starts to lift from her sister's face and she just looks so tired again. "Please Zelena. Show your daughter" she still can't quite bring herself to call her niece by her name, "that you're every bit of the mother that she deserves."
The room is quiet for a moment and the two women wait a long time before they meet eachother's eyes. Regina looks almost desparate and Zelena, Zelena looks exactly how Regina did a few years ago when she was trying so hard to be good but relapsed when her Mother came to town. Which is maybe why Regina can't be too angry with her sister, because she reminds her so much of herself, and that hurts because Regina hated that time, when she wasn't exactly evil but was in no means good and was so desparate for somebody, anybody really, to come and promise her that everything would be okay, and her Mother had done just that, had played on her daughter's vulnrability and drew Regina even farther away from Henry and the people who are now her family.
Then baby Robin is stirring in her crib and still nobody moves but she starts crying and it's Regina who breaks their eye contact first, and then it's as if Zelena snaps out of it and is on her feet, lifting the very upset and red faced baby into her arms and patting her little back. Cooing to her that her Mummy's here. Regina looks away after a time because that's Robin's daughter too and Daddy should be there for his little girl, but no, she doesn't want to go down that road right now and she doesn't want to think of Robin at this moment because she doesn't know for sure if she has actually forgiven Zelena or if she just wants to forgive her sister, so she just adverts her eyes from mother and daughter.
"She's not going to stop crying," Zelena states, almost in a whine, but not quite, " You should probably leave now, Regina...The Queen will probably be back soon anyway and I don't quite fancy you and her getting into it while Robin is screaming," she bounces the baby softly in her arms, then mumbles, "It would only add to my exhaustion."
Regina rises from her chair, with a nod of her head. "Please, consider what I said. Just because I was angry doesn't mean - Look, I still want us to be sisters Zelena and the last thing that I want is for you to be hurt."
Zelena listens but doesn't say anything, only nods at her sister who looks so unlike the Regina she had come to know. She looks too innocent and unsure of herself. Zelena looks down at Robin then back at Regina who stands with her hand splayed across her stomach, about to turn around and walk out of the kitchen. But she stops when she reaches the doorway and looks back at Zelena.
"Coconut oil," she says.
"What?"
"Coconut oil. For the diaper rash," Regina explains, "It's what worked best with Henry."
Zelena nods, and if Regina's not mistaken she can see the ghost of a smile on her big sister's lips. So she raises the corners of her mouth in turn then walks out of the farmhouse.
Feeling relieved and terrified and totally confused all at the same time.