Vaan, the Viera

Summary: Because the party is well fed up with him, Vaan is left behind in Eruyt Village. Problem: Viera have less patience than Humes, especially when it comes to an idiotic Sky-Pirate afficionado!

Disclaimer: Nope, don't own.

A/N: Probably the best idea I've ever had. I hope I can work it. XD Rated T because it contains a little bit of language, mild violence, and perverted/ridiculous humor.

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Jote put her hand on her forehead, sighing heavily. She had been all day busy with problems in the Village; your local plague of Malboros, the Panthers eating all the fruit - making it difficult for the Food Hunters of the Village -, Mjrn running around with the panties of fellow Viera on her head, and more stupid things. Seriously, being Elder is difficult. And whoever thought this Village was calm, got shot right between the eyes.

The situation couldn't get worser. Or that was what Jote thought, when she suddenly heard a scream from a few Viera down by the Gate of the Village. Then she heard a Hume's voice, most probably male:

"YEAH! WHICH ONE OF YOU BABIES WANTS MORE O' THIS?!"

The Elder's ears poked with curiosity. Hala and her looked at each other in confusion, however decided not to risk going down there themselves. It was, maybe, an Imperial teasing them. What are you looking at? It sometimes does happen.

'Damned Humes... a Race of graciousness we are, not Playboy bunnies.'

Jote sat down on the stairs next to the House she usually stood by, waiting for the Wood-Warders. They always come up there to complain after something like that happened. However, no Wood-Warders came. Just Alja.

She looked confused and annoyed at the same time, and it's hard to picture a Viera like that. Her hair was messy and her clothes stained with dirt. What on Earth happened to her? She even had Bow and Arrow in hand.

"Alja, what..."

"Elder, a problem we bear down by the Gate..." Alja interrupted.

"What is it? If an Imperial it is, leave him be. He shall go away eventually." Hala ordered.

"But an Imperial it is not. It is a Hume, younger than an Imperial! He is part of the party who visited us before."

"The one with my sister?!" Jote asked, shocked. She ran all the way to the entrance of the Village, Hala and Alja following.

Once they got there, Jote tripped and her face hit a pile of smashed fruit, sounding a loud 'SPLAT!'. Annoyed, she sat up and tried to clean everything off of her face and hair. Alja knelt next to her and helped her, however suddenly a certain figure was loooking directly into Jote's features. When she rubbed her eyes clean and opened them, an immediate scream escaped her.

Of course, who wouldn't, when you suddenly saw an idiot with a grin from ear to ear, just inches away from your own face. Infact, the Elder of Eruyt Village even (somehow) jumped backwards, hitting Hala and bringing her down with her weight. The idiot, Vaan, grinned.

"Hey those honeys are getting it on!" he smiled. Alja found it in herself to throw a piece of fruit into his ridiculous face, but he didn't seem to mind.

"I know you love me, baby."

Suddenly Alja kicked him right in the stomach while she got up. Jote felt a little better, almost laughing. She refrained to do so however, and only asked, stumped:

"W-What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be off with your Hume friends?"

"They hate me. So, they like, shoved a whole bottle of wine down my throat while I was asleep, and hey, now I'm seeing Bob Marley!"

Jote and Hala looked at each other confused.

"Shouldn't you only be able to see Bob Marley while you are drugged?" Hala asked.

"Be quiet, Hala. No time for little jokes." Jote scolded her right-hand woman.

The Elder pondered on the situation. Now there was some guy wandering about and scaring the fellow Viera, not to mention claiming he is seeing Bob Marley. What is up with that? Worse, the fruit he smashed up was probably the one Alja and some others had found for the Village supply. With the Panthers eating all of it - they had a hard time finding that fruit, and now, it was all wasted.

"Sweet Mother of the Wood..." Jote sighed, slapping her forehead.

"Jote, if they left him here, they probably tired of him." the right-hand woman explained.

"Why else would they leave us such burden?" the Elder sighed again.

"That Fran... damned daughter of a Cockatrice!" Hala exclaimed.

Jote's face went red. It was like steam was now pouring out of her long bunny ears. Hala realized what she just said. Jote was Fran's sister, and in conclusion, she had just insulted Jote's and Mjrn's mother. Vaan danced around stupidly.

"Haha! The dudette is really going to get it now, right Bob?" he laughed while hugging a tree.

"Hala... I WILL HAVE YOUR EARS FOR THIS!"

The next two hours were quite exhausting for most of the Viera. They had to take Jote and Hala apart, and most importantly, half of them left the Village to go on Food Hunt. Unfortunately they only found twenty pieces of fruit, and this for over fifteen Viera, some of which had not eaten since last week.

Meanwhile in the Elder's house, a Viera was questioning Jote's decision regarding Vaan.

"Elder, shall you let him stay with us?"

Drum roll...!

"Yes."

All of the Viera frowned. Jote was too nice for her own good, and now, a moronic guy was their newest addition to the Village.

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A/N: Well, was it nicely written? Remember, 'Submit Review' is your friend... constructive criticism appreciated/needed.
I am adoring this idea...
Tune in to the next chapters where the Viera teach Vaan to be one of them. Will they succeed?