Disclaimer- ::counts pocket change::...still not enough.

Ahh, I've been lacking in the fic department lately. Sorry (not that anyone's reading). This was inspired by a visit from my mother. I despise broccoli.

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The sense of smell had always been a top priority to Naruto. The way something smelt told a lot about it. It could determine someone's emotions at the moment, their personality (to an extent), not to mention the current hygienic state someone was in. It could also sometimes determine if something was friend or foe.

And this, thought Naruto, frowning at the pile of weird-looking green plants, is definitely 'foe'.

The bile smell rose up to his nose once more as steam floated around the plants. He cautiously poked the odd green vegetable, deciding it wasn't going to bite him, before picking it up. He peered at it closely, examining it carefully before setting it back down. It just looked so weird! Why would anyone want to willingly keep such a disgusting-looking plant, let alone eat it?!

Well, whatever, Naruto thought, crossing his arms in front of his chest and eyeing the bile-looking substance suspiciously. He glanced about the room. Maybe if no one spotted him, he could slip away and pray he would never have to encounter, let alone smell, another plant as revolting as this one ever again. He put his hands out in front of him, placing them firmly on the hard-wood he found there, and pushed himself backwards.

SQUEEK!!!

Naruto winced, closing his eyes tightly and awaiting the scolding voice that he knew would come after such a horrible sound.

"Idiot, eat your broccoli."

Ahh...there it was.

Naruto grumbled under his breath, cursing the table in front of him, the wooden chair he was sitting on, and the tile floor that had made the offending noise and gotten him caught. He glanced at Sasuke's back, glaring daggers. Always being one to open his mouth before thinking, Naruto childishly retorted.

"And what if I don't want to?"

Sasuke froze from his spot at the oven, his wooden spoon pausing in its stirring. He looked over his shoulder into defiant ocean-blue eyes. Sasuke snorted loudly before returning to his business, stirring the pot's contents (which suspiciously smelled like the same gross green plant on the plate in front of Naruto).

"Just do it. They're good for you."

Naruto highly doubted that. He reached out with a chopstick, hesitant, and poked the green thing again before sticking his tongue out at it. Sasuke must have gone insane if he truly believed that he was going to put this into his mouth.

How absurd!

He could barely get past the horrible smell that insisted on filling his nostrils, let alone eat the damned thing! He wondered what sort of past crime mankind had committed to receive such a horrible punishment as this....what had Sasuke called it again?

"Naruto, finish your broccoli!"

Broccoli. That's it. He looked up just as Sasuke stopped in front of him, hands on his hips. Naruto wondered if the man was trying to look intimidating, standing there in the middle of a kitchen in an orange, frilly apron with a pig on the front and wielding a wooden ladle. He couldn't help but snicker, which earned him a sharp smack to the forehead with said wooden object. Naruto gave Sasuke a few choice words, all of which the man chose to ignore, before he returned to the oven and his stirring.

"Eat it or you won't get your present."

Funny how much Sasuke could resemble a bitchy housewife.

Or an evil mother.

"But that's not fair! It's MY birthday! And I want ramen!!"

His response was a dark laugh, which only made Naruto angrier. He stood up quickly, his chair falling backwards and crashing to the floor loudly. He grabbed a piece of broccoli and shook it at Sasuke.

"You think you're gonna make me eat this? Ha! You don't have that kind of power over me, bastard!"

Naruto's prideful boast, however, was short-lived as Sasuke advanced on him, his onyx eyes excepting the challenge. Yelping, the golden-haired boy scrambled for the exit, only to be tackled to the ground by a heavy body. He was effectively pinned, and Naruto began to sweat.

"Sasuke!!! This isn't fair! It's my fucking birthday! Why do you have to be a dick all the time?!?"

"Naruto. You are going to eat this broccoli whether you like it or not. Do you understand?"

Thrashing wildly, an angry Naruto tried with all his might to get free. Alas, it apparently was not meant to be. So, sighing heavily and protesting till the very end, he grabbed the piece of broccoli that Sasuke had shoved into his face and put it in his mouth. He closed his eyes tight, expecting a taste that was as bad as the smell. However, he did not anticipate the green vegetable to taste as good as it did. He found himself chewing thoughtfully and Sasuke got off of him. Naruto swallowed when Sasuke looked at him expectantly.

"Well?"

He licked his lips, getting the full taste before smiling.

"Not too bad."

Sasuke smirked and Naruto suddenly wished he hadn't enjoyed it so much. The man looked so smug standing there, grinning like the asshole he was. He snorted, holding out his hand expectantly. Sasuke raised an eyebrow and Naruto sighed, exasperated.

"My present, stupid."

Sasuke smiled smugly before shoveling more broccoli onto Naruto's plate. He panicked, jumping up from the floor, sputtering.

"What the hell?! I ate the damned thing. I get my present now!"

"You have to eat it all."

Anger burned red on Naruto's face, and he clenched his fists tightly.

That...fucking...asshole! What a prick! Making sure to stomp very loudly, Naruto made his way to the table, flipped his partner the finger, and flopped into his chair. Keeping eye contact with Sasuke, he shoved the remaining pieces of broccoli into his mouth, chewing them quickly and swallowing them. He crossed his arms and turned towards the black-haired man, an eyebrow raised. Sasuke just grinned, pleased that he got his way.

"Looks like you earned your present."

And as Sasuke was about the leave the room, a loud gurgling sound alerted both his and Naruto's attention. Sasuke paused. Naruto, however, felt his stomach respond to the foreign substance. He grimaced. Maybe eating the broccoli as fast as he had wasn't he brightest idea, but it would serve Sasuke right if he threw up all over the nice clean floor.

Or maybe his socks.

Which was exactly what he did.

The wide eyes and pale face accompanied by the surprised cry wrung from Sasuke's mouth was much better than any birthday present Naruto could have gotten.

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Hahaha...I really enjoyed writing that. And I actually like that ending. :) A first!

Naruto- ...why do you torture me?

Hoi? You got to throw up on Sasuke!

Naruto- ...oh yeah. :)

Sigh......