Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of J.K. Rowling's wonderful works. I do not even own J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. Well actually, I do and I also own a potato named Jerry, but that's beside the point completely.

Chapter One: Ginny Goes "Ow"

"Ow" Ginny said.

I suppose "ow" is an appropriate expression of pain when one stubs one's toe or bites one's tongue. I also think "ow" is an understatement when one falls 73 ½ feet to the nearly frozen ground, which is what Ginny just did. Well, actually, maybe it didn't hurt as much as you'd think. Perhaps she fell on a soft spot or she has an extremely large threshold for pain. Maybe it did hurt. Maybe it hurt like hell, but all Ginny said was, "ow."

Of course, she passed out immediately after she said "ow."

Nearly the entirety of Gryffindor house came pounding out onto the Quidditch pitch. Obviously, Ron was first to reach Ginny as he is on the Quidditch team with Harry and the rest of the team flying towards her as fast as they could. As Ron slowed next to her and jumped off, he seemed about to do something stupid like wake her up through a technique called strangling. Harry would have to take serious action (i.e.: kick him where it hurts: in the teeth) to prevent Ron from acting on his strange thoughts. Luckily for Ginny and Harry, Dumbledore with Professor McGonnagal in tow got there before such actions could take place.

As the mass of Gryffindors crowded around, Dumbledore calmly felt Ginny's wrist for a pulse. After a minute, he took off his ridiculous hat and nodded his head. "She's dead" he announced gravely. I know, this is a bit morbid as we all like Ginny, but it must happen for this story to work out in the end."

......

After a few moments contemplation, I, the narrator, have decided this story is getting much too sad so I will have a little intermission and start anew.

INTERMISSON SHOW

In the common room...

Harry: I hate this place. The teachers, the students, the classes and that stupid house-elf who likes to stalk me! I'm going to the Dark Side!

Hermione: You can't, Harry! You just can't! Think about Dumbledore, think about us, think about your parents!

Ron: Oh, calm down, Hermione. You don't really mean it, do you, Harry?

Harry: Yes. And, Hermione, Dumbledore's an old bat, you and Ron need to get lives and I never did like my parents.

Ron: So you're leaving, mate? Harry: Yep.

Ron: Well, be sure to write or something, won't you?

Harry: All right, but I really must leave now.

Voldemort in doctor's office waiting room...

Voldie: Luke... I mean, Harry...

Harry: (Sits up on sofa) Father...

Voldie: Since when?!

Harry: Since forever! Mum told me when I was only three! Can you imagine how it feels to know me da's the most evil wizard ever and then play with other kids on the playground?!

Voldie: No...

Harry: Right! Which is why I am going to join you and the rest of the Dark Side!

Ron: You can't go Harry!

Harry: Why not?

Ron: Because I love you!

Very long pause.

END OF INTERMISSION

"Ow" Ginny said.

Ginny had just stubbed her toe on the corner of the broom shed while searching for an almost-decent school broom.

"Eh, walk it off" Ron told her as he found his broom and emerged from the shed.

The ground was barely frozen and the whole Gryffindor team was safely on the ground and in no danger at all of falling 73 ½ feet from the air and dying anytime soon. Harry, who had too fancy a broom to leave in a place such as the school broom shed, appeared from around the other side of it. "Hello" he said cheerfully.

"Hullo, Harry" Ginny replied, a bit muffled as she was still searching for a useable broom.

"Oh, mate." Ron motioned to Harry so he could speak a little more privately. "Listen, Harry, I've got to skive off practice a little early today, I've got a- got a- a something to do."

"A something to do?" Harry looked at Ron skeptically.

"Yes, a something that I may tell you about later if you let me go"

"Okay, but this better have a good explanation later to make up for the lame one you just gave me" Harry wasn't sure if he was making the right decision, letting Ron leave early for a suspicious activity. But his mind turned to pepperjack cheese and he completely forgot about Ron altogether. Voldemort must be hungry.

Harry headed after the rest of the Quidditch team which had already left toward the pitch, hi mouth watering for a lovely cheese and bologna sandwich with a nice glass of Ovaltine.

Review if you love it! Review if you hate it! Review if you like Ovaltine!