Title: Scapegoat
Summary: Wade finds the perfect scapegoat
Author: Mental Merc with a Mouth
Rating: PG
Characters: James Howlett Wade Wilson Bobby Drake Anne Marie
Word Count: 713
Genres: Humor Romance
Warnings: None that I can think of.
Ever since Bobby left his home to join Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters he has gotten used to things being not exactly normal. He wouldn't exactly call them weird, but it certainly wasn't normal. There was this one girl who could change the color of her skin and hair at any given moment, people called her Chameleon. She changed into the color of the sofa once, Bobby hadn't realized she was laying there and accidently sat on her. That had been abnormal, and a little awkward, but not weird.
However, when Bobby comes back from class and walks into his room, to find a strange man holding Marie's broken camera, the only way to describe the situation was weird. "What are you doing in here" Bobby asks,
"Looking for a scapegoat" the man answers
"A what" Bobby is confused
"A scapegoat y'know someone to take the fall for what I did" the strange man rolls his eyes and waves Maries broken camera up for Bobby to see, before continuing to look for a suitable hiding place.
"Who are you" Bobby demands
"Wade Wilson" the guy says stuffing the broken camera behind Bobby's pillow "But you can call me Ryan Reynolds, that is unless Ryan Reynolds decides not to come back and do my movie after he's done doing DC's Green Lantern. If he doesn't than you can just call me whatever other loser actor that no one's heard of that Fox somehow manages to scrape up from God knows where like they did for Daredevil's movie. But you know what, I just keep reminding myself that Logan Wade Lerman might play Peter Parker in the Spider Man reboot, and I feel much better"
Bobby stares at Wade oddly for a long moment trying to figure out what exactly Wade meant, before realizing that Marie's broken camera is behind his pillow. "Hey you can't put that there" Bobby cries retrieving the broken camera from behind his pillow.
"Yeah I can, because if I don't plant the evidence in your bed, I'll be stuck with it. And it's kind of hard to convince people that you (being the scapegoat) broke the camera if I'm holding the evidence" Wade informs Bobby matter of factly
"What is wrong with you" Bobby hisses angrily
"I don't know most of the psychiatrists that Stryker made me talk to quit on me. And the ones that stayed needed psychiatrists of their own and the blind can't lead the blind if you catch my drift" Wade still has that stupid grin on his face.
Bobby has no idea how to respond to that but (un)fortunately he doesn't have to because here comes Marie.
"Hey Bobby I was wondering if you still wanted to-" Marie stops in her tracks and looks down at the broken camera Bobby still has in his hand "What the hell did you do" she hisses angrily
"I-I-I didn't I-I this wasn't me" Bobby stammers nervously cowering under Marie's rage
"Lucy you got some splainin to do" Wade chuckles softly at a job well done, and then side steps past Marie out the door.
"Do you know how long I saved for this?"
"But it wasn't me"
"What the hell were you doing in my room anyway?"
"I was never in your room this wasn't me"
The sounds of Marie's screaming and Bobby's nervous stuttering slowly fade into the background as Wade ran through the different hallways of the mansion on the lookout for more trouble; I mean something to occupy his time.
Wade only stopped running when he (literally) ran into Logan. They didn't fall though instead Logan wrapped his arms loosely around Wade's waist holding ex-merc against his chest. "What are you up to" Logan asks looking down at Wade.
"Nothing" Wade says a little too quickly
Logan looks down at him incredulously "What kind of nothing" he asks
Wade smiles sheepishly "Just looking for a scapegoat"
"What did you do?" Logan asks placing his hand and Wade's chin forcing Wade to look at him.
"You don't trust me" Wade asks in mock hurt
Logan rolls his eyes and repeats his question. Wade smirked and leaned up on his tippy toes to give Logan a kiss that makes them both forget what they were talking about.