So this is it.
This is true darkness.
That's what Jack Frost thought as he curled even more into himself, though he was already huddled into the tightest ball he could muster. His eyes were screwed shut, trapping all the tears in, even though earlier he had let them flow freely.
Even the nightmare king's sand didn't hold as much darkness as the winter spirit was feeling. There was always a glitter, reminding whoever that came in touch with it that it was, indeed, sand. Something real. Something that could be controlled. No, this was a much more hostile, much more bitter darkness. It wrapped itself around him and refused to let go. Then again, Jack couldn't bring himself to shake it off. He didn't deserve that.
He had killed him.
He drew his knees up closer to his chest as it heaved with a choked sob. Jamie Bennett, his first believer, was gone. And Jack only had himself to blame.
He had been so selfish. He felt the boy slipping away. As a now-as a then 12-year-old, he was so excited to grow up, to be mature, he could feel himself and the other guardians slipping away from the boy.
Jack should've let it go. The other guardians told him that, and maybe, deep down, he thought so too. But Jamie didn't just stop believing he was just...fading. And dammit, Jack wasn't going to just let go of his first believer.
A snow day could fix everything. One day to remind Jamie who he was, who he knew, who he could see, if he just opened his eyes. Yes, that's what he would do.
But the schools had been so stubborn. Jack was intent on keeping the snow fall just that-snow, but they were really cracking down on having less time off this year. So, he added ice-just enough to make the roads slick.
Or so he thought.
But what he thought was "just enough" turned out to be "too much." Too much for the boy who was running late because he didn't want to go to school. Too much for the frustrated mother he would now have to be late to her job after taking the boy to school. Too much for a pair of arguing family members who didn't see the traffic light.
"No, no, no!" Jack said, suddenly springing from his huddled spot in front of the grave, and covering his ears. He wouldn't remember, he would not...
But it came anyway.
The screeching tires that came a bit too late, the screaming mother who knew what was coming, a car horn honking, desperately. Then he was the other car crash into the Bennett's, the sickening crunch of metal echoing in his ears.
Right on the passenger side.
The car flipped over, and landed upside down. Jack was in shock. He had known this to happen, others seemed to blame him for it. But never had he ever seen it. And staring at the destroyed car, he wondered how destroyed the people inside could be.
The next thing he saw were red lights, blue lights, swarming over faces; one of a worried mother, the other of a pained stranger, as an unconscious Jamie was lifted from the car and into the ambulance.
What had he done?
That question swirled in his head. Even with the reassurance from the other guardians that it was going to be okay, life would go on, he didn't feel like it would. Not with this on his mind.
He wondered when they would give up on him. After all, he had killed a child. They didn't need to fight to come up with a reason to kick him out. That's what they had wanted from day one, wasn't it?
Though he had a little nagging voice in his head that said the guardians didn't want that at all, they accepted him now, loved him-it didn't matter. All he saw, all he could feel was the darkness the death had brought upon him. And unlike sand, this kind couldn't be controlled.