Wake Up
"You IDIOT! Why did you do that?" I yelled to her as I tightly embrace her. Her body was filled with her blood, cold and almost…lifeless. My face filled with tears so unmanly but still I didn't care. My heart beating so wildly that I couldn't breath. The woman I loved most in the world was dying because of me. Like always, she protected me, me who wasn't strong enough to protect her. "DAMN IT!" I yelled to the rest of my Hyakki Yakou to take Kana and the others to safety while I quickly carried Tsurara to be treated. "You're going to be okay Tsurara! Just hang in there!" I told her as I ran through the streets. "You're going to be fine I'll make sure of that!"
"Aishiteru…"
I couldn't believe it. I heard her say the words I wanted to hear almost all my life…but not like this. "What are you saying at a time like this?" I continued to yell at her. "Not like this…" I thought. As I ran through the streets I looked at her once more noticing the silence and I saw her eyes closed. I can feel her cold body through my clothes. "Tsurara!..."
"TSURARA!..."
Every night my thoughts wander around you
Your thoughts, your feelings, and what I really am to you
In your eyes, am I only your master, your brother, your leader?
Or something entirely different, something deeper.
As a child I used to play pranks on you
Yet you still cared & protected me through and through
All the times we used to always spend together
Kept me wishing we could stay like this forever.
But as time changed and so did we
I trained to be a leader, to be stronger, you see
So that I can protect you and those who are dear to me
To live a peaceful life and for you to be happy.
As time moves on my feelings grew and grew
And I couldn't help but want you and need you
Your presence became so important to me
That I, without you, am impossible to see.
But then something changed and it was you
Your eyes turned distant, your smiles began to few
You became less cheerful, you became so distant
Seeing you like this was something I didn't want.
I began to think it was my fault you became like this
Your bright smile, your beautiful eyes, your happy attitude, all these I truly miss
So I put a lid on my feelings and hid them from you
To try and forget my selfishness and start anew.
.
.
.
As I saw your limp body fell to the ground
My heart inside my chest continued to pound
I brought your cold body within my warm embrace
And we stared at each others tears-stained face.
-Rikuo-
No. she won't leave me. She won't. She can't. Without her…I'm nothing…I sat in my usual place in the Sakura tree. My body shaking. Not from the cold, not from any illness but because of fear. I'm scared, scared that she'll disappear. I'm scared that she'll leave me. I haven't even told her yet. I haven't told her how much I love her, how much she means to me, how much I need her. I'm shaking of the possibility that she'll never come back to me. I feel like I'm losing it. Tsurara, tsurara, tsurara…
That night, I held her hand. I told her everything, conscious or unconscious, I poured out my feelings for the first time…
"Tsurara, you probably don't hear me right now, but I'll say this anyway. I love you. There, I said it. I love you so much that losing you is like, is like…is like losing a part of me. I probably sound stupid right now but I can't help it. They told me you weren't gonna make it. They told me that I was too late. But I don't care; I don't give a damn about what others say. I'll only believe it when I see it and right now, you're still here with us, with me. You're still breathing and I'll cling to every last bit of hope if I have to. I'll never give up on you. I'll never leave you.
I remember when I was still an immature brat. I kept on playing pranks on you. I enjoyed seeing your flushed face, your blushing cheeks, and your cheerful smile. I like getting your attention because it gives me more time to spend with you. I thought what I felt was brother-sister love but found out I was wrong. I began to look at you as a woman, as if I was seeing you for the first time. Every gesture, facial expression, curves, the way you talk; I took notice of it all. And later on, I learned to love you. I kept looking at you; I wanted to become stronger so that I can protect you. So I trained and trained. I wanted to be the one to save you and not the other way around. And I was happy with the results. When every time I saw your eyes widen with joy and admiration or when you blush a cute shade of red when I come near you, or when I simply touched you my skin would quiver with excitement. I loved it all.
Then came the time when I turned anxious. I wondered what you think of me. What thoughts where lingering around that cute head of yours. I wanted to know more and more but you see I was too stupid back then. My stupid ego, my damn pride, my selfishness got in the way of that happening. And because of my stupidness, I assumed that you didn't feel the same way. I came to the conclusion that you only see me as your master, your leader or probably even just your precious little brother and I despised the thought. And I made a terrible mistake. I didn't know why but when I looked at you one day, I felt you were different. Your eyes were so distant, you smiled less. Your cheerful attitude disappeared and was replaced by a different yuki-onna. I was so confused. What changed? I asked myself. I tried talking to you about it but you kept on avoiding me and changing the subject. And I realized it was my entire fault. You changed because of me. So I stopped what I was feeling about you. More or less, I hid it from you. All I wanted was for us to be the same again. No awkward moments. No more confusion. Just us, me and you.
But I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't keep my feelings for you anymore. I want you to know everything. When you told me you loved me, I felt so happy and at the same time vexed with you. How can you tell me you love me and then end up leaving me? I won't forgive you if you do that to me Tsurara. I don't care if you leave me because I'll follow you wherever you go.
I want you to wake up and smack me in the face if you want to for all the things I put you through, I don't care, just wake up. I want you to yell at me again or freeze me with all you got just open your eyes. I want you to tell me those words again…this time with your eyes open. I want us to be together…so please…please, please wake up…I know I sound like I'm begging and I don't give a shit what others think about me or talk behind my back, I just need you…and only you…so wake up…
Wake up…Tsurara…wake up…
-was it too much ooc? I tried my best and it just came to me…hehe…sequel to FinallyXD I felt like doing it. Hope you like it, if not, then don't. RikuoxTsurara forever!
-princess-