Silly one-shot I come up with duirng one of my insomniac crysis last week... Don't own, don't sue.
In life, there are many kinds of drugs, and, one thing Teresa Lisbon will always be glad of, caffeine is the legal kind; her coffee routine in the morning was something she had never allowed anyone to ruin, and even Jane had learned, in time, that, the only thing to do in order to have a calm and quiet Teresa Lisbon, was offering her a cup of coffee and let her drink it in peace.
"Teresa, I need to go, Anne is in labor, look after Claire" It happened so quickly that she didn't even had the time to register that the youngest of her brothers, Michael, had run in her office without knocking, spoke with her (making confision with the names of hte girl and of his wife, too), left on her couch his five years old daughter and run away without even bothering to wait for her to reply or to close the door at his back.
"Hi Aunt Tessie - Anne said, giggling a little, hiding as many shy kids behind a stuffed pony that seemed even bigger than her – daddy said I have to be good, because the baby is coming!"
"Yes honey – she said with a bit of hesitation, not too convinced by what she was going to say, but still kneeling in front of the child, pointing at her – And this evening, as soon I'll be off duty, we'll go to visit mummy and the baby, ok?" Damn, she really didn't need that. Yes, the day had been relatively quiet, no murders, ransoms or any other particularly cruel crime, just paperwork, but it was only 10 in the morning, and she still had at least 7 hours to go… and now, she still had 7 hours to go and a 5 years old to take care of.
"Who was the man who left your office running? Was he some lover you scared to death? Please don't tell me you threatened him with your gun like you always do with me, because… Oh! - Figures, Lisbon thought rolling her eyes. Patrick Jane never bothered to knock when the door was closed, why would he when it was open? And why bother to check if someone was inside, besides her? – Look, Look who we have here! Such a lovely girl, Hi, what's the name of such a beautiful princess?- Lisbon was already on her feet, sending him one of her death-glares, while he had took her place, kneeling at Anne's side, doing one of his tricks involving coins with her.- no, wait, I bet I can tell you what's your name."
"But you don't know me!" Anne pointed out, still giggling, and for a moment, a brief moment, Lisbon could actually see him with his daughter, and what a stunning dad he probably had been.
"Yes, but, I'm going to tell you a secret, because, you see- he paused, looking around and whispering, like it was really a secret or something serious – I can read minds!"
"No one can read minds, silly!"
"What? Oh, you hurt me, young lady! I'll show you and this unfaithful woman that I can, indeed, read minds! – Patrick turned half serious, looking deeply in the girl's eyes, one hand on his forehead, like faking some kind of psychic contact – mmm… you are… Agent Lisbon's niece… - Teresa rolled her eyes even more, since he did know she was her nice, with her picture on her desk, it was quite obvious – you are… 5 years old, and were born…mmm… on…march, I'd say…23? No, not 23, you celebrated it the 23rd, but you were born on March the 19th… your mother is having a baby, and, even if you don't know if it will be a boy or a girl, you don't care, because you just want to be an older sister… and your name is… Anne Teresa Lisbon!"
"Nice, now you don't have enough of annoying me, you have to do it with my nice as well!"
She gasped in surprise, all excited, and looked at the man and then at her aunt and then at him again "Yes! My name is Anne Teresa Lisbon, what's your name?"
"I'm Patrick Jane, sweetheart."
"Are you a special agent like Aunt Tessie?"
"No, I'm a consultant; it means I help your aunt. I work with…"
"For" Lisbon corrected him
"You'd not close half the case you do if not for me! Give me at least the pleasure of thinking that I'm, indeed, part of your team, and not a mere tool in your hands."
"Funny, I'd say the same things of you, because, sometimes, I have the impression that we are your tools, Jane"
"Ah, please! You're just mad because I don't tell you about my plans. The only reason I keep them secret it's because I know you don't want to go along with them in the first place!"
"Oh, good, so now it's my fault if I'm risking of getting fired!"
"ah, c'mon, you know that Hightower suspended you just to prove a point, and not even directly to you."
"Yeah, because the world resolved around Patrick Jane, right?"
"Of course it was an indirect way of threatening me! She hoped to keep me in line by doing so, but she doesn't know me well enough. There are skeletons in her closet, and, believe me Lisbon, if she dares to put in danger your work, I'll not hesitate to turn on my charm and my psychic abilities for your good!"
"You're not a psychic, Jane, AND you'll not do your mentalist thing with our boss!"
"Oh, please! She'd never see that coming! Hightower may believe to be a strong woman, but she is human as us all… and a woman. And it's common knowledge that no woman can resist me. After all, I'm the one that gets always what he wants, right, my dear Lisbon?"
"You know, sometimes I ask myself why I keep trying to put some sense in that head of yours. You don't… seriously Jane, why do you have to always annoy me this way?"
"Bah, I don't think that 2 or 3 times each day could be defined as always…"
"Are you in love with Aunt Tessie?"
Lisbon turned towards the girl they had forgotten about in horror, unable to understand where she could have got that absurd idea. Jane in love with her… and maybe Pegasus was real. "Annie! That's not the way you should talk with a person you've never met before! It's not polite!"
"I'm stunned, Anne. Tell me, why you think I may be in love with your aunt?" he asked, calm, like he was talking about ice cream or a cartoon.
"Daddy says that boys annoy girls to get their attention when they love them. He says that Tommy Green in kindergarten likes me because he keeps annoying me. - she paused for a while, then turned back to the main topic she seemed to care so much about – Mr. Patrick, are you going to become my uncle?"
"A…a…A…Annie!" Lisbon felt on the pavement, while Jane's Cheshire grin got bigger and bigger, grinning almost like a maniac.
"Lisbon, I'm trying to have a conversation with Annie! It's not polite to interfere, when two people are talking… now Annie – he said turning back to the girl – why did you ask me if I'll become your uncle?"
"Aunt Tessie always talks about you when she comes visit. Mummy says she is always sad, until she tells them something funny you did to catch the bad guy, and she smiles. Daddy says you make her life a living hell… you'll not tell daddy I say that word? He doesn't want to!"
"No honey, we'll not tell your daddy about this, but I'm curious, what does your daddy say?"
"Daddy says you make her life a living hell, but that you make her very, very, very happy as well, and that, since she always talks about you, she loves you. – She paused again – are you two getting married? Claire Danvers went at her aunt's wedding, and she always tells us how she thrown petals on the pavement of the church. I want to throw petals me too!"
"A…a…A…Annie! I don't talk about Jane all the time! It can happen – Lisbon said still on the pavement- but only when I talk with your dad of a case! And besides, eavesdropping it's not nice!"
"I'm not lying! You always talk about Mr. Patrick!"
"Yes Lisbon, children don't lie! And you don't lie to a child either, it's not polite!"
"Are you going to become my uncle?" Anne asked again.
"You want to know a secret, Annie?" he got closer again, whispering into her ears so that Lisbon couldn't listen to them, and, as soon as he did, giggling, she run out of the room, going to sit on his couch, her pony in her lap, waiting for him to call her back in.
"Jane, what the hell do you think you are doing? I know that you always behave like a 5 years old, but it's not a good enough reason to keep playing with a real 5 years old telling her stories!" she almost snapped, as he joined her on the pavement where she still was.
"Technically speaking, she did the whole talk; I just asked her a question. And you lied. She said you always talk about me, and you dared to deny it. You called her a liar, and Annie is not so impressed with her aunt Tessie any longer. –he grinned, and looked at her with one of those enlightening smiles of his – she prefers her uncle Patrick now"
"Jane, you're not her uncle"
"Yet"
"Jane, you are, and never will be, her uncle."
"But when we'll get married I'll do become her uncle, Tessie"
"Don't Tessie me, Jane, you're not a 5 years old!"
"But you always say I'm like a 5 years old, Lisbon! Do you even mean what you say, Tessie?"
"Well, too bad 5 years old can't get married!"
"Lisbon, are you saying you want to marry me? I'm stunned! I knew you've been fascinated by me the second we met eye to eye!"
"Jane, I've never…"
"You know, it's kind of weird, but you didn't deny loving me - he said, out of the blue, looking at her with that damn smile on, and, with the look, and the words, and everything else… the damn butterflies were back, and… - you're blushing! How cute! You'll make a lovely bride! And our children… with my intelligence, and your look, our children will conquer the world!"
"I'm not…!" She wasn't exactly sure what she was going to say, but, it hadn't to be so important, since a mere peck on her lips of his lips, a peck of, what, 3, 4 seconds, made her forget everything.
"Be ready at 9, and put on something nice!" he said as he was already out of her office, leaving her speechless and in trance on the pavement, looking in front of her like a statue.
"Ehy, Annie, listen - he said to the girl as he sat close to her on his sofa – would you like to be the flowers girl when I'll marry your Aunt?"