Title: Denial
Summary: Logan breaks his promise.
Author: Mental Merc with a Mouth
Rating: PG-13
Characters: James Howlett Wade Wilson Victor Creed
Word Count: 550
Genres: Angst Tragedy
Warnings: Nothing really.
It doesn't matter what Logan says to try and justify it, it doesn't matter how much he tells himself it's the right thing, he knows he shouldn't have done it. He knows he shouldn't have left. It wasn't completely his fault; Victor held a lot of blame in the situation too. Victor was the one who changed not Logan.
He wasn't sure when it happened but somewhere along the way; Victor had become more beast than man. Sure Victor was a feral mutant, hell Logan was one to, but Victor was different, he'd changed. As much as Logan wanted to deny it, he knows it's as much his fault as it is Victor's. Because he knew, Logan knew that Victor was changing but he refused to do anything about it, he didn't want to admit it.
And now thanks to his fear of what he knew to be true Logan had finally hit rock bottom. Logan had a choice to make, a choice he wasn't ready to make but he knew he had to.
He stood there between his brother and the innocent victim, Logan was ready to walk away. He looked from his brother, to Wade, and instantly Logan knows that what he's about to do is a mistake. Because Wade is looking at him with large brown eyes looking like a lost puppy and silently asking 'Why?' Logan looks away; he doesn't want to see the expression on Wade's face while he does this. Logan doesn't want to see the pain because as long as he doesn't see it, it's not there.
Logan turns away from his brother, he turns away from his boss, he turns way from men he's come to consider friends, he turns ways from Wade. Then Logan walks away and ignores his brother calling to him, he doesn't look back. Logan refuses to acknowledge his brother calling out to him, because then he'll see Wade, then he'll have to look into those hurt brown eyes and he'll know the pain is real.
Logan is not sure where he heard it, maybe an old army buddy told him, maybe he read it somewhere, but for some reason there words stand out most to him as he walks away "Denial is like the innocence parents try to shove down there kids throat by telling them that Santa Clause is real, knowing full well that one day they are going to grow up and learn the truth. But it doesn't matter because they will do just about anything to give their children this sense of innocence, even if it is all a lie."
Logan never really got a chance to have that innocence before, so he'll take it now. And even though Logan swears that he doesn't have a clue why these particular words come to mind at a time like this , a small part of him knows it's because even though he refuses to look into Wade's eyes, even though he refuses to acknowledge Wade's pain, that doesn't make it any less real.
Logan shakes his head and furiously stomps away at that part of him by whispering repeatedly to himself "Santa Clause it real" until eventually the words loose all meaning and he forgets why he was even saying them in the first place.