Well, this is my first NCIS fanfic ever (although I've been wanting to write one for a really long time), but I've written some for ER, so I'm notcompletely new at this...
I know it has already been done LOTS of times, but I felt the need to write one as well :)

Disclaimer: Don't own any of it :)

I'm not native english speaking... You might wanna keep that in mind while reading... ENJOY! And feel free to leave reviews, good or bad.. I dig them :P

Trust and Betrayals

Chapter 1 - Confusion

It hadn't even been a week, but still Tony couldn't stop staring at the empty desk on the other side of the bullpen. He knew he shouldn't be there, that he should be at home, sleeping, resting, but he had snuck back to work when he absolutely sure that Gibbs had gone home.

His brain still wouldn't let him accept the fact that Ziva was gone – that she hadn't returned to DC with them. Sure, he knew she was mad about what happened, especially at him, and probably more emotional than he'd ever seen her before, but was this really necessary? Couldn't she just have taken some time off to grieve in stead of leaving NCIS, leaving the states, staying in Israel?

If she needed to get rid of her anger he was more than willing to let her take it out on him, like he'd already attempted to let her know, but that apparently hadn't worked. If she had needed to get away for a bit, why hadn't she just asked to go on a mission or two for Mossad and then return to them again?

He looked at his phone again, laying open on the desk in front of him. He'd just have to press the little green button and it would call Ziva's cellphone. Picking it up he let his finger rest on the call-button for what felt like minutes before reluctantly shutting the phone. She'd call him, at least he desperately hoped so, when she was ready. When she'd finally forgiven him.

Gibbs was standing in the doorway leading down to his basement, a cup of coffee in his hand. He hadn't been down there for days, not since he'd had that talk with Director Vance. He had always felt safe there, felt it was the only place he could really think and collect his thoughts, the only place he was able to deal with his emotions, but now he didn't know what to believe anymore.

If what Vance had said was true, if Director David really had just played him, then where did that leave Ziva? He had trusted her with his life, and even as his team, especially DiNozzo, had started doubting her, his feelings stayed the same. Not even the fact that she'd lied – no, withheld information from him or forced him to choose between her and DiNozzo had caused her to lose his trust, but now not only he was starting to doubt his own judgment, but even Ducky, who'd liked and trusted Ziva from the beginning, was questioning his trust in her.

Taking a sip of his now cold coffee, he slowly started descending the stairs. He figured he couldn't stay away from the basement forever, even if it kept bringing up the memories of that night 4 years ago, the night he was no longer sure about what actually took place.

Reaching the bottom of the steps he looked at spot on the ground where Ari's body had fallen after Ziva shot him. It didn't matter how or why she'd shot him, but she had saved his life, that no one could deny. She hadn't wanted to, that much was obvious, but she had, and whether that was her own doing or Director David's orders, she'd killed her own brother for a man she barely knew.

He threw the still half full coffee cup into the trash can and instead picked up an unopened bottle of Bourbon, which he was positive would be gone within a day, maybe even less. He still trusted her, at least for now. He'd give her time, let her think things through, mourn or grieve or whatever it was she needed to do. If she was anything the Ziva he'd known for the past 4 years, if it wasn't all just a facade and a game, then she'd be back. She was one of them, a part of their family, at least until she proved otherwise.

McGee sat down on the couch next to the forensics scientist, who was clutching Bert so hard that he amazing it was still able to make the infamous farting sound.

"Abby, I made some pasta, you should really come eat something." She just shook her head, her loose hair flying around her face. McGee sighed as her placed a hand on her slumped shoulder. She had barely spoken since the others had returned from Israel, besides from when she'd been attacking them with questions about what had happened. He had gotten her to reluctantly stay with him at his place, knowing she'd only get even more depressed by sitting alone in her apartment, but even he hadn't been able to cheer her up just the smallest bit, he hadn't even succeeded in making her drink a Caf-Pow.

"Abby, if you don't eat, then how are you supposed to cheer up Gibbs and Tony?"

"They can cheer up each other." A tiny smile formed on McGee's lips. Not just because he'd gotten her to talk, even though it was barely audible, but because of the sentence itself. He sure would like to see that.

"Well then tell me how you're gonna attack Ziva with hugs when she comes back, if you're stuck in the hospital with a feeding tube?" Before he knew it she'd thrown Bert in his face and was staring at him with a very upset expression.

"That is so not funny McGee! And who says she's even coming back?!" As much as he hated Abby being mad at him, he was happy to see her responding, well, Abby-like. "You saw her before they left, and you heard what what Gibbs and Tony and Vance said about what happened in Israel. I mean, what if it's true? Maybe she really was just using us all along. Maybe we were all just a mission to her, maybe..."

"Abby!" He had to cut her off, knowing her ramble would only get more and more confusing. "Do you really believe she's a traitor?" She bit her lip, and it took her multiple seconds before she answered him.

"I don't want to believe it. She's my best friend. I've told her like all my secrets, she's seen all my tattoos, I even brought her with me to bowl with the nuns and she got on really well with Sister Rosita!"

"I know Abby. And I know none of us want or believe Ziva to be a traitor." This time Abby just fell back into the soft pillows on the couch, staring strait into the air.

"But even if she's the Ziva we all know and love I'm scared she's not coming back. She says we betrayed her."

"She only said Tony betrayed her, and she'll forgive him eventually, right? I mean, they're Tony and Ziva. She was never mad at you."

"But she should be!" She didn't turn to look at him, but he could still hear the raw emotions in her voice and knew it wouldn't be long till the tears started making their way down her cheeks. "I betrayed her just as much as Tony! She just doesn't know!" She hated herself for what she's done. Even if what she did was for the right reasons, it still felt wrong. "We're her friends, Timmy, and I spied on her! What kind of friend does that?" Pulling the now shaking goth into a big hug, he handed her back her beloved farting hippo.

"I'm sure she'd understand, Abby." He rocked her for a little while, and it didn't take long for him to realize she had fallen asleep in her arms, so he carefully laid her down and covered her up with the blanket hanging over the back of the couch, before heading off to bed himself.

Director David looked up as someone entered the room, closing the folder in front of him.

"It has been done, Director." The older man's eyes never left the officer, standing military style in the middle of the room, as he crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair.

"And she didn't suspect a thing?"

"No sir." David nodded towards the couch behind the officer.

"Sit, officer Hadar. There's no need to be so formal if it all went after the plan as you claim." The younger man nodded and sat down in the big, luxury couch. "So, tell me." Officer Hadar took something out of pocket, and before the director had a chance of recognizing it, Ziva's gold Star of David flew across the room and landed on on the big wooded desk.

"She though she was to help us infiltrate the training camp as you'd told her. You should have seen her face when she realized we'd drugged her food." A tiny smirk appeared on Eli's face as he imagined the scene. "I don't think I've ever seen her as confused as she was when she woke up tied to that chair, but she didn't ask any questions, so I suppose she figured why she's there."

"She should." He looked at the picture of his 3 children, focusing on his oldest daughter, taken back when he still had complete control over her and she didn't question anything he said. "She has spent too much time away from me. She has forgotten how to treat me," He looked briefly at the still purple-ish mark on the officer's neck. "And others."

Ziva had no idea how long it had been since her captor had left, and to be honest she couldn't care less. She'd been slipping in and out of consciousness ever since they'd brought her to wherever it was she was. First due to the drugs they'd given her on the ship and later because of her injuries. It wasn't that she had that many, she'd tried worse, but she could tell that the blow to her head, the one causing her left eye to be completely swollen shut, had given her a major concussion.

She should have expected this. She should have realized that her father tricking her, that he wasn't just sending her on a mission. Why would he trust her with a mission that important, when he'd just blamed her of not being loyal?

She heard the door in the other end of the room open, but figured it was stupid to waste her strength by looking up. However, the feeling of a burning cigarette against her hand quickly made her head snap up to look at the face she already despised so much.

"Have you though about my little proposition?" If only her wrists hadn't been as tightly secured to the chair, she'd have knocked that smug grin off his face a long time ago.

"I am never gonna talk!" The words had barely left her mouth before back-handed her good cheek, but she ignored the taste of blood in her mouth as she looked back up at the man.

"You know you're gonna die no matter what, so why not just make it quick and painless? It's not like anyone are gonna know you're missing anyways, so don't think you'll get rescued." She felt like rolling her eyes, but stuck with just staring into his evil, dark eyes. She knew that already, she knew there was no way anyone would come for her. Not Mossad, cause what he'd just said only confirmed what she already suspected, that they were behind this, and she could forget all about NCIS helping her. She'd made it very clear to them that she didn't trust them, that she was mad at them, so why would they give a damn about her now? To them she was just a traitor, as bad as her brother, her father, their enemy.

"You always feel the need to state the obvious?" She knew she was pissing him off, an judging by the amount of time he held the cigarette against the collarbone, it wasn't just a little. But she didn't care. As he'd said she was going to die anyways, and maybe this way she'd get out of her suffering a bit faster. Especially since the physical pain wasn't nearly as bad as the emotional one.

Damn she wished she was still back at NCIS, before all of this started.