Disclaimer: Don't own anything. Bioware is the proud owner of it all.
Archiving: Only with permission of the author.
Author's Note: Just an utterly silly thought that just wouldn't leave my mind... :)
"Liaaaaaaaaaara..."
"Commander?"
"How long do you plan on taking in there?"
"Just a minute. The water is so wonderful, it's so nice to feel it on my skin."
"Mmmmh. Don't tease me, come to bed!"
"Yes, Shepard, I told you: in a minute."
... ...
"So... are you coming now?"
"Shepard, why are you being so impatient?"
"I can hear you laughing, Liara. This isn't funny!"
"Of course it's funny!"
"Liaaaara, stop teasing me!"
"Alright, alright, I'm coming. ... Give me a minute, Shepard."
"You said that already!"
"And I'll say it again, until you stop making me rush."
"Eeeeeh Liara... I'm going kinda crazy here."
"Don't be such a baby. You can wait one or two minutes longer."
"Wait... Now it's two minutes?!"
"Hehehe... Well, the more you argue, the longer it takes."
"Nooo... Come to bed. Pleeeeeeease?"
"You can plead all you like Shepard. I will take as much time as I need."
"Argh. What are you doing, anyway?"
"I'm taking a shower."
"Yeah, right..."
"Hihihi. Don't pout. I'll be there with you soon enough."
"Soon enough is NOT soon enough!"
"Your bad puns won't get me in bed any earlier!"
"Mh it was worth a try. ... But seriously, Liara, I'm getting cold over here."
"Oh. I guess I should've given you a blanket, then."
"Yeeeeeeeah. So does that make you come over faster?"
"Not really. You get shot, you blow things up, Goddess, you even died. You can live without a blanket for ten minutes."
"Hm. It's been so long already?"
"Yes, yes, Commander. But lucky for you, I'm finished."
"Maybe you're forgetting I can hear you. I can also hear your giggle!"
"Hehe. I know you can. I'm also sure you can hear that I'm not in the shower anymore..."
"Yeeeeeeees I know. But you're still not *here*."
"You're cute when you're pouting."
"I'm not!"
"You are."
"Hmpf."
"Hihihi. Don't move."
"I *can't* move, you know that!"
"All the more fun."
"Ha ha. Do you mind?"
"Ooooooooh, riiiight. You're cold..."
"Please, Liara? Look at my skin! I'm quite sure I'm covered in goosebumps!"
"Mmmh, yes, you *are*. Mmmh."
"Stop your voyeuristic oogling and do something about it, please?!"
"Okay, sure."
"What the...?"
"Mmh mh hm, you mh told me to mmmh hm do something mmh about it. Mh hmmmm..."
"Oh God, but not like... *that* ... Oh Liara..."
"You like that? Mh you feel so good. ... Oh, look at *that*, you see *that*? That's so cute."
"I can't see a thing. ... You could actually help me with that..."
"Mmmmh, *no*."
"Eeeh Liaraaaaaa, come on, I'm like... totally helpless, can't see a thing..."
"Exactly how I like it. Mmmh. Amazing... Hmmmm."
"Mmmmmmmmmh uh, okay, okay, uuuuh do whatever mmmmh y-y-you like..."
"Oh, I will. I will. Your skin is so wonderful. If you could just see it right now. Look at that little bead of sweat there. It's so cute."
"Pfffff. Sweat isn't cute, Liara. *I'm* not cute."
"Sure you are. Look at you squirming and trying to escape. It's adorable."
"Yup. A sight to behold, I'm sure."
"Hihihi, how about I do *this*?"
"Ooooooooooh Liara! L-L-Liara p-pleeeeease! Oh... my... ooooh..."
"Mmmmmh..."
...
"DO YOU MIND?! PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO SLEEP HERE!"
"Jack?! What are *you* doing under her office tables?"
THE END.